I just like the word "Ragszam"
Posts made by HighlyPaidContractor
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RE: But we designed it to work...
@b-redeker said:
@HighlyPaidContractor said:
If possible, I always try to make friends with the end-user. You get much more useful input, and produce a better product in the end.
I sincerely believe that user involvement is the main key in running an efficient and effective project.
I always enjoy it when I find out something I've always done is in a book somewhere.
(Wait until I tell you about the times I invented arrays, function calls, and recursion.)
@b-redeker said:
Also, typically the user you want for this is the user that can't be missed.
Also the user who doesn't have the time to work with you because the existing system is so terrible and inefficient. Unless that's what you meant. I'm not sure I've ever seen "can't be missed" used in that context.
Unfortunately, I'm usually in a position where I can't even log onto the network without express written consent. There's nothing like waiting 2 weeks to get the go ahead to update my email signature so I can email my project manager, so she can email the client-side manager, so he can ask my question to the user. I get a lot of "billable research" done.
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RE: But we designed it to work...
@snoofle said:
@DeepThought said:
I applaud you sir. Please let us know if they did in fact grow up and made a logical (or at least workable) choice.
First they were going to think on it for a couple of days because it wasn't due in production for 10 days. I pointed out that it was due in QA in 1 day and that the time to think about it was before the work began and that it was time for a decision, or it stayed the way it was and the users would live with it. They couldn't decide so I sent out an email to all concerned stating the diametrically opposed requirements, the two choices of how it could work, and that the BAs couldn't make a decision.
It took 30 seconds to get an answer.
If we don't push back, then we failed to "make it work".
I then took the user to a local bar and bought us lunch. In an hour, I got him to understand all the problems that had been created, and he said that they (users) would be willing to give on most of the problem-causing idocy we were forced to implement.
The folks around here are sooooo afraid of conflict or confronting anyone that they just take whatever crap is thrown at them and everyone is miserable.
Don't get me wrong, we're here to give them solutions to their business problems. But you can say NO to a user by phrasing it approriately: "You want to add x, y and z? Sure, it'll postpone the release by n days; do you want to wait or should we push it to the next release?" Invariably, the answer is to push it, but THEY made the decision, not me.
I have a *spine*.
If possible, I always try to make friends with the end-user. You get much more useful input, and produce a better product in the end. The more levels of abstraction between you and the user, the more static on the line. It's like a game of telephone.
If the end result isn't exactly what the BAs requested, it's usually drowned out by the overwhelming praise from the users and their managers.
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RE: Bringing down the main domain/file server
@Jaime said:
Something doesn't smell right about this story:
<details>
So what you're saying is that he Remy'd his own story?
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RE: Minimalist phishing scams
I once recieved the opposite of this. It was something about refinancing my mortgage, and the entire body of a Dickens novel. (A Tale of Two Cities or Great Expectations, I forget which.)
It came in as a ticket to the IT helpdesk.
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RE: Minimalist phishing scams
Something about this thread makes me want to attempt scamming someone in haiku.
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RE: McAfee tech support WTF
@RichP said:
That would make some sense. Although the last issue dragged on for months while Service Pack 1-3 were "going to fix the problem for sure", so I wasn't anticipating a quick fix.
There's also the part of me that wants to raise the issue right away, in case the problem is more widespread, so that they can try and resolve it quickly.
See, there's your problem - you want to resolve issues.
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RE: But we designed it to work...
@toth said:
@blakeyrat said:
@toth said:
Yes, I know. Perhaps I should have said "pretty and/or usable".when I have to make it look pretty/usable
Without trying to leap down your throat too much, if you think "pretty" and "usable" relate to each other in any way, that's a huge problem. Those are two completely different continuums, ugly things can be usable, and pretty things can (and usually are) unusable.I've had to work on a few projects that were pretty, but the function was handled entirely by the engineer behind the curtain in the corner. You might imagine usability and responsiveness were a little lacking. "Form before function" was the company motto.
"Pretty" is closely tied to "doable," however. Ugly things can be usable after a few beers.
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RE: McAfee tech support WTF
@RichP said:
If I ever have to open another ticket with them, I'm just going to create a cron job to email them a ticket update once per day. Problem solved.
Or make the assumption that their solution is going to involve you rebooting, and open the ticket at a time when rebooting the production machine is within the realm of the possible.
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RE: McAfee tech support WTF
Leaving tickets open is bad for glossy managerial reports.
When I worked tech support we we told to close tickets asap to minimize average time-to-solve. If the issue wasn't actually solved, open a new one at the next customer contact. That way the glossy reports show TWO closed tickets.
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RE: But we designed it to work...
@toth said:
@b-redeker said:
QFT. I'm good at making things work, it's just that, when I have to make it look pretty/usable, it invariably ends up looking like the output of an incontinent, colorblind monkey.@blakeyrat said:
To be fair, the majority of developers are fucking awful at designing interfaces.
Oh, guilty as charged, your honor. But at least I know that.
If you're refering to the UI a monkey would design, why would his incontinence matter?
If you're refering to the "output" of a monkey, why would his colorblindness matter?
Unless, of course, he's designing the UI with the matter he "outputs."
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RE: But we designed it to work...
@b-redeker said:
@blakeyrat said:
To be fair, the majority of developers are fucking awful at designing interfaces.
Oh, guilty as charged, your honor. But at least I know that.
I now work with a guy who is very good at designing them, just doesn't know all the latest tricks and tools. So when he designs something that I think can be done more easily with standard components (which is basically what snoofle says), I show him, he says ok that works too if you bold that one and do that on doubleclick and we're good. Works great.
Similarly, we have a business user who thinks up functionality, I explain "actually the way to do that is ...", he listens (really) and everybody's happy.
I just had a potential employer ask me for screenshots of UIs I've worked on. Is that normal? I can't say anyone has ever asked me for screenshots before. Everything I've worked on was designed by someone with talent. I just make the pictures do something other than look pretty.
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RE: Minimalist phishing scams
@b-redeker said:
@Someone You Know said:
This raises an interesting theoretical question: how small can a scam email be and still be clearly recognizable as a scam?
If an email scams in the woods where no one sees it, is it still a scam?
Could God create a scam so good that even He would fall for it?
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RE: Phone scam/spam
@DeepThought said:
I've gotten similar calls, except they are in Spanish, which I don't speak. Never the same number and it's always the same message. If I don't pick it up it will go to voice mail where the first several seconds will get cut off. Don't know who it is or what there selling or how/why my cell phone number is on their list. Never signed up for the do not call list because I was under the impression that cell phones were already protected from being targeted by phone spammers. Perhaps that is a missunderstanding on my part, but the frequency of these calls is relatively low (only about once or twice a month), so I've not made it a priority to get them quashed.
Cell phone spam (in the US at least) is strictly opt-in.
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RE: Phone scam/spam
@mott555 said:
@PJH said:
@Medezark said:
http://ago.mo.gov/nocalllaw/
Rhetorical question: What happens if the caller isn't in Missouri/The US/America?
<Fines>Or if I happen to live in Missouri but have a cell phone with a Nebraska phone number?
I'll take a look at this if it happens again. I've gotten four calls over maybe two months so it's not really even annoying.
A few years back when I still had a land-line, there was a cat shelter advertising my phone number. I got a dozen calls a day asking about cheap spay/neuter services. And I worked 3rd shift (midnight-8:30), so I was invariably asleep when the calls came in. I probably would have done something about it if I wasn't so damn tired all the time.
I also got frequent calls from an old drunk guy mis-dialing his lawyer from a 7-11, but those all came in while I was at work.
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RE: Minimalist phishing scams
@Someone You Know said:
This raises an interesting theoretical question: how small can a scam email be and still be clearly recognizable as a scam?
scam or spam? I'd recognize spam as soon as I saw the guid-for-an-email-address in the sender field. Scams require some sort of keyword like "inheritance", "$1,000,000", or vi4gr4
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RE: Ambient Light Sensor
@mott555 said:
@RTapeLoadingError said:
@RogerWilco said:
Are you lefthanded by any chance?
I am generally right handed but do certain things left handed (open jars/bottles, put watch on) so I'm not sure if I use a keyboard left handedly*. The mouse was on the right hand side though.
*Aside: Is there a left or right handed way to use a keyboard?
There can be if you type improperly. I can use a keyboard fairly well using only my left hand, but I'm much slower using only my right hand. Probably because a lot of the time I'm too lazy to take my hand off the mouse to type.
I'm impressed that you have experience typing one-handed with both hands. Switch-hitter.
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RE: Phone scam/spam
@blakeyrat said:
@PJH said:
@Medezark said:
... telephones exist outside Missouri!?http://ago.mo.gov/nocalllaw/
Rhetorical question: What happens if the caller isn't in Missouri/The US/America?
<Fines>Missouri exists?
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RE: But we designed it to work...
@blakeyrat said:
Edit: and of course the real WTF here is using Java for a GUI app. It's pretty much impossible to make a good UI in Java, so all you can do is "least shitty" anyway.
"least shitty" is the industry standard.
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RE: OS X Security Defaults WTF
@blakeyrat said:
blakeyrant
I'm not sure why, but you just found your way onto my 'favorite person' list. I think it has something to do with me not having done my job for the 10 minutes it's taken to read all that, and not feeling like the time was wasted.
brb, buying wrench.
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RE: Tale from an interview
@alegr said:
@HighlyPaidContractor said:
Did they made you wear green goggles? Also, did you check behind the green curtain?I did an interview where I was on-site, but sequestered into a conference room, alone, where I sat on the phone with an interviewer in the main office.
Unfortunately, the Wizard could not get me a job.
I did, however, leave with a nice pair of ruby slippers.
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RE: Tale from an interview
@danixdefcon5 said:
@Medezark said:
Heh. One of my job interviews was kinda similar to that; it was basically a mix between on-site interviews and phone interviews. But the one that pushed me further into that specific job was the phone interview, where I was asked about experience managing LDAP servers... all of this while I was outside Office Depot, waiting for a cab.(story about cellphone interview)
I did an interview where I was on-site, but sequestered into a conference room, alone, where I sat on the phone with an interviewer in the main office.
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RE: Wise Solutions
Hey! Some of these aren't even valid email addresses!
dallymoHICCUP@ptld.uswest.net
NOSPAMtsanidas@soleil.acomp.usf.edu
local.user@local.domain
markoer@nospam.usa.net
sorbo.@NO -
RE: Just Release It
@millimeep said:
@OzPeter said:
@HighlyPaidContractor said:
" .. and anyone hovering above your head in an escalade is an organ-donor."
I'd suggest that if an Escalade was hovering above you then *you* are more likely to become the organ donorAnd I'll suggest that if that Escalade hovering above you suffers a hovering failure, your organs aren't going to be in a good shape for donation... (don't think there's much demand for pancake shaped organs)
I find it amusing that this question was asked a month ago.
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RE: Just Release It
@DOA said:
"Hi, you know that car you designed? Well I'd like to add VTOL capabilities to it so I can fly over traffic jams. What do you mean you need a couple of years to perfect the design? Just bolt a couple of rockets on the damn thing. No, I need this by the end of the week. Stability issues? Just release it, we'll worry about it if it happens in production."
Then we all gather on a hill overlooking the highway and pass around the popcorn.
IMO, if you added actual VTOL capabilities (limited to traffic jams) to cars, it would be just as amusing to watch. Consider the skill of your average driver, add wings. Admittedly, they wouldn't be careening off into a cliff-face in homage to Wile E. Coyote, but to paraphrase a great man, "anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, anyone going faster than you is a maniac, and anyone hovering above your head in an escalade is an organ-donor."
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RE: Sprinting or crawling for the fail - either way its still a fail
I thought that was SOP for the business world.
I was hired on a 3 month contract to implement some features in a TLA company's accounting software. I finished the feature in a week. 9 months and 3 versions later (each one allotted 3 months and taking roughly a week), not one version has made it into production.
I would have walked out months ago, but they're paying me an exorbitant amount of money to sit around waiting for someone to OK the version 1 push to production, or start QA on version 2.
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RE: How not to run an online questionnaire
@b-redeker said:
@HighlyPaidContractor said:
If you're not secretly hosting CoD games on your grandmother's PC, you're not using the resources available to you.
This would would be a neat trick, seeing as she passed away 15 years ago. But I like your thinking.
My condolences. My grandmother died when I was 10. The remaining one, however, teaches computer classes at the local JCC. She likes to keep her hardware current, even if all she uses it for is email and organizing her recipes.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't once have a set of Counter-Strike servers running on a client's hardware. Hook it up to the network monitor, and you even have someone rebooting it for you when it fails.
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RE: How not to run an online questionnaire
@b-redeker said:
@bannedfromcoding said:
But if you have $0.00 budget, you can use only free stuff.
Where do you get your free hardware? And your free hosting? And your free time?
BTW: been there, done that; in my case the answers were existing PC, not, and less and less.
The trick to free hardware is to abuse your position as "default family tech support." If you're not secretly hosting CoD games on your grandmother's PC, you're not using the resources available to you.
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RE: Tale from an interview
@Daid said:
@forkazoo said:
Small tip, it's just the first thing I pulled out and put on the table. In case they wanted to talk about something on my resume I could look it up instantly. Yes, you should know what's put down there. But people might have understood it wrong. There was 1 interview where I was the only one with the copy, so I handed it over. Don't think you look stupid with your own resume with you. You look confident and well prepared.I have no idea if everybody actually had a copy of my resume. I was carrying a folder with extra copies in case anybody needed one, but at the start of the interview, I was too paniced to ask or just look to see if they were holding resumes.
I always keep at least 5 copies of my resume on hand. I've had interviews where the interviewer was suddenly called away and I had to interview with the entire dev team in one room (I had a copy for everybody). A friend of mine who does interviews frequently "forgets" the candidate's resume to see whether they were prepared with an extra copy.
Also, since I frequently deal with third-party recruiters, the interviewer doesn't always get the same resume you handed off. Recruiters like to make creative edits.
The worst interview I've ever been on involved an angry German educating (yelling at) me for 20 minutes about how AJAX has nothing to do with Javascript or XML. He also locked me out of the interview room and "politely" asked me to go to the bathroom while he stepped away to find the next interviewer. Thankfully, I got the rejection call during my drive home.
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RE: Minor foreach wtf
@blakeyrat said:
So you go off into a rage over a non-issue, then forget about it moments later? Time to take the mood stabilizers...
@Han Solo said:
That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose.
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RE: Oracle and fractions of seconds...
@Xyro said:
What, are you some kind of moron thinking that "0.100" means 0.100? Duuuuuuh. It means zero seconds and 100 nanoseconds. Geez you're so stupid.
Read it again. It clearly says "nunoseconds."
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RE: Oracle and fractions of seconds...
I think the problem is that you didn't specify which [fractions of second] you were interested in. It's correctly returning 1 fraction for each result.
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RE: Oracle and fractions of seconds...
I'm running on Oracle 10.2.0.4.0
Works in SQL Nav 5.5 and querying from .NET
If you want more detail, you're SOL. My employers barely give me access to run queries in DEV.