Bitter ex-employee here.  Glad to see everyone is either enjoying my resignation letter or mocking it...whatever works.  I particularly enjoyed the pseudo-hr manager reply.  That missive could never have happened for several reasons:  1:  It was in intelligible English.  2:  It didn't contain the phrase "We at (insert fked up company's name here) value you as..."  3:  The HR manager is much too busy being wined and dined by the actuarial whores at (insert life-sucking insurance company's name) so that the employee's contribution can be increased by 32% and said HR manager can mysteriously vacation in Belize for a month gratis (insert life-sucking insurance company's name). Point of fact, I did receive a brief letter from the HR manager stating "I understand you have left (insert fked up company's name here)  affective September 6th.  I show that you still have company equipment in your possession:  RSA security chip, Dell latitude D810 laptop.  You need to return these immediately.  However, you are not allowed in the building (ever).  Please make arrangements to return the equipment forthwith.  Ask yourself, what's like to happen first:  I return the Dell D810 (2.1 GHz processor, 100gig HD) or Paris Hilton wins the national spelling bee?HR managers, project managers, "marketing associates"...you all fall into the same black hole of negative energy, creativity-sucking, morale-eroding pooge that everyone else who can't reverse a linked-list in C in less then 28 seconds does.  I'm the brilliant programmer, you're the one paying your monthly Honda Civic payment off my efforts, my brain.  The least you could do is give me a reach-around.   You were taking creative writing and volleyball in college, watching little Becky's NERFS bouncing up and down, while I was taking 23 units of math, computer science and "The history of the Algorithm" (just for the fun of it).  You work exactly 1 week per year (open enrollment) and then take 2 hour sushi lunches the remaining 51 weeks.  Come to think of it, I coded an open enrollment app so that you wouldn't have to do anything.  So, your Sushi bill (or the CFO's, who you're always banging) must be around 5K.  Now go back to your slow train-wreck of a career and stop trying to flame me...silly kidders.    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> </font><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> </font>