Fuck you fake Jeff
Best posts made by Arantor
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RE: Is ruby dying?
So if Ruby is dying and .NET is dying and PHP is dying, does that mean the future is NodeJS? Because if it is, fuck that noise.
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Hey @boomzilla what are you doing here?
So, @royal_poet and I picked up a box of T.I.M.E. Stories this weekend and settled down to play.
And in the 1920s asylum... there's @boomzilla!
Better view...
Naturally, wooden table.
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RE: Another day, another cryptocurrency clusterfuck
@dkf and doing so in a literal contender for new worst language ever! Finally PHP is looking so much better
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
How I feel when most people say the word 'microservices' at me:
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
I have made my stand against Jeff, and frankly I tire of trying to fix something that will not be fixed.
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RE: This is how it feels to learn Javascript in 2016
@anonymous234 to be brutally honest I'm getting fed up of the whole web thing, it's like all the problems that were solved twenty years ago are suddenly new problems again and I'm tempted to fuck off to regular desktop development because that seems less full of ...
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Politics category
It seems that we have a 'few' politics threads going on right now.
Might I suggest a politics category where we can Jeff the threads to and then be able to ignore the entire category for those of us who don't habitually wear flame retardant chemicals?
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
It was more simple rage against Jeffpidity. I care not what others wish to use to abuse fake Jeffs, let alone real ones.
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
You realize that is just an invitation on posting in the wrong topic in the hope of getting you confused?
Discourse creeps ever closer to its true goal.
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Observed today
// Doing it this way because we can't redeclare a defined constant later
WELL FUCKING DUH.
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RE: Things that remind you of WDTWTF members
@boomzilla imagine living long enough for your flesh to decompose off your skeleton, surviving death and all… and still not learn how apostrophes work.
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RE: How is it possible someone in the lounge could be an asshole?
According to the papers this week, sweary people are more honest, so you made the same point with extra honesty?
But seriously, there are things here.
- Blakey doesn't join the Lounge for reasons. They are valid reasons - and refusing to participate in gamification bullshit that doesn't really make sense (and has consequences that are worrying if ever it were to be abused) is also valid. Could he participate if he wanted to? Sure. He is standing by his principles - that's worth some respect.
- PII shouldn't need to be in a place where the person it concerns can see it to be policed. If I were to get doxxed for shits and giggles in Turn Left (the TL4 area IIRC), is that appropriate? Does the lack of choice on my part about access make it somehow more or less appropriate? Fuck off, no it doesn't - it's still PII in a place it should not be, end of.
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Non-IT WTF: you can't spell hypocrite without HR
I've had long hair for years. In fact, it's a curious fact that I actually know the last time I had short hair. It was 17th May 2000, the day before my 'GCSE' exams began. Ever since I've had long hair, with or without Stallman style beard.
And when I started working in the corporate world, I generally tied it back. I didn't work in a customer-facing role, so being perfectly tidy wasn't a requirement, especially when shuffling bits of paper between departments.
Until the one day that I happened to snap my hair band.
Now, I was shuffling paperwork to the first floor (this was a strange company, at the time it only rented first through third floors of the building, leaving ground, fourth and fifth floors; if you're reading in America, we use a zero-based system for numbering floors in the UK, please off-by-one) which is where HR lived.
People avoided HR wherever possible, and everything I'd read in Dilbert was coming true. And I knew who the head of HR was, I'd seen her in passing.
The problem was, she'd seen me in passing and decided that it was inappropriate for me to be walking around with long hair that wasn't tied back. And threatened to write me up for poor attire.
Now, I'd only been there a short while, so I was still within my probationary period so being fired was theoretically a possibility but I suddenly collected my wits.
There's nothing in the uniform code about the office workers with regards to hair. Men's attire rules at the time: shirt, tie, trousers, reasonably smart shoes, with slightly-more-casual Fridays. Nothing about hair.
I asked her whether she intended to discriminate against me for being male since if she was to enforce men with long hair being tied back, she would have to enforce that for women too. Including herself.
I have never seen anyone in HR backpedal so quickly, scurrying back to the cave. She never bothered me again after that and I subsequently left my hair down after that in protest.
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
When I come to the aid of a cause, there's no secret.
So you're not aiding @codinghorror merely trolling us, got it.
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
Seems like something i missed.
Btw. how to properly quote (including username)?>this i know...
Reply to the post, press quote. Observe beauty of bbcode in a Markdown/HTML forum.
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Almost going full Lorne Kates
Warning: the events you are about to read are true. Any entitlement you may perceive is entirely your own problem.
So, I commute from a decent sized, very open minded city to a shithole in the middle of Bumfuckistan (still in England, but it's rural). And in so doing, I stop by the village shop - they have a few but there's only one of any size that sells food and other stuff, and they sell lottery scratch cards.
I have been known to dabble occasionally buying scratch cards - I'm not like some of my co-workers that buy them nearly every day - but I have an atypical amount of luck on them. I'm currently running at 8 out of the last 10 scratch cards won, and all of them were more than the price of the scratch card back. Given that the chances of winning any prize on them is usually in the 1 in 4 category, this is somewhat atypical.
This is where the #firstworldproblem sets in.
Scratchcards up to £75, any retailer that sells them will give you the winnings, it's part of the deal for actually selling them in the first place. £75 to £100 is at retailer discretion.
I won a £500 scratchcard. The retailer says I need to look at the website on how to claim.
This says I need to phone them up to get them to send me a form to fill in. Or that I can go to a 'designated post office' to collect a form and they can pay out my winnings there.
Only they don't tell me what the 'designated post offices' are. The only post office in Bumfuckistan doesn't pay out scratchcards at all, they leave the village shop to do that. So I went to the Post Office website, typed in the name of my city, ticked the box that said 'looking for post offices that pay out scratch card winnings'.
It gives 5 options. So I set out to visit all 5 today. I still do not have my winnings. I kept my temper as opposed to going full @Lorne_Kates and telling them 'fuck you, give me money'. Especially as it's MY money at this point, as such.
The first post office says the manager isn't in, they can't pay out £500 without him and could I come back Monday - but he finishes as 5pm so I can't get there when he's actually in.
The second post office says it doesn't do scratch cards at all, and isn't sure they're listed on the website as doing scratch cards.
The third post office says it does but only up to £100.
The fourth is closed, on a Saturday lunch time.
I couldn't even find the fifth.
One of them did suggest I try the post office in the mall which is in the middle of town (and equally distant from all of them!) so I tried that last and they said that they didn't do scratch cards either which is why they're not on the website for that reason, and yet the guy behind the counter was annoyed because apparently everyone refers back to the one in the mall for everything even when they don't do it.
My only recourse now is to either travel to another town to try to claim this - or to send it via Royal
MFail and hope it gets there.Fuck you, give me money.
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RE: This is how it feels to learn Javascript in 2016
@flabdablet you mean the same size they were before but you're so busy managing the stack you brought with you, you have less resources to deal with the actual problem?
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RE: WTF Bites
Entering a CAPTCHA on uninstall is one thing. Entering a completely unparseable CAPTCHA is another.
But it's from IBM so, fuck 'em.
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RE: Programming Memes Thread
@PleegWat in the workplace, the boring workplace
The warthog kneels tonight
In the workplace, the work-shy workplace
The warthog kneels tonightWim-o-way-wim-o-way
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
Flagged for spellar/gramming.
Filed under: no, not really, I just wanted to make the joke.
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
How does one earn the Touched In The Head badge again?
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Abode unCreative Suite (includes hoodie!)
So many WTFs. I'd back it if I thought it had a snowball's chance in hell of ever delivering.
Seriously, I could see the entire funds raised so far just for the inevitable lawsuit.
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RE: The Backup Likes Thread - Because it's not the same, now with semi(?)-mandatory likes and questions?
Do I get a pedantic dickweed badge for pointing out that you've misspelled "viscount" in the badge Vicount Pedantic Dickweed of the Most Noble Order of the Garter?
I'd tap that. A tap's as good as a wink to a blind bat.
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“One of the greatest miscarriages in British judicial history”
Forgive the hyperbolic headline but it’s fairly accurate. I’m just amazed there isn’t a topic about this yet because it’s absolutely the sort of shitshow we talk about here.
I don’t have a good place to start with this so I guess I’ll start with the take from one of the satirists at the Guardian - https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/feb/15/post-office-scandal-workers-computer-system
Some stories feel so unbelievable that every time you think of them again, you have to sit with the basic concept for a few moments just to remind yourself how truly, staggeringly outrageous the whole business is.
This absolutely is a shitshow. We’re at the stage where 736 people in various parts of the country running what amounts to small businesses that collectively support the physical mail infrastructure were routinely being accused of fraud, and later prosecuted for it. Plus many many hundreds more people caught up in this mess but weren’t serious enough to get charged with something.
Individual cases where the Royal Mail were accusing these small businesses of owing thousands of pounds, which they were personally expected to make up the “shortfall”.
Except they didn’t. Computer glitches, so many glitches. Only now, 20 years on in some of the cases, is there even recognition that the computer was wrong.
But those people, their families, their livelihoods ruined. Some imprisoned for fraud. Some of those took their own lives.
I’m glad that nothing I do is important in the scheme of things. I don’t know if I could deal with being responsible for the sorts of mess this produced. But the CEO of this… is fine. Not even an actual apology but a classic non-apology - as though setting some money aside for damages claims is adequate.
As for the wider lessons of the scandal, what a lot it says about a society crossing the threshold of the third millennium that thousands of entirely upstanding human beings were disbelieved in favour of trusting a computer.
It should be noted that there was a lot of evidence that the computing system wasn’t working correctly but the Post Office ignored it entirely, a move later noted by one of the judges presiding over the eventual inquiry as a comparison to Flat Earthers’ maintained outlook on the universe.
So that’s the short version, but of course it all feels inadequate. Even simply listing every individual injustice in the sparsest possible terms would take far more space than I have available; at even cursory depth, every single story is utterly heartbreaking and utterly extraordinary.
I don’t believe the human race, collectively, deserves to live if this is how we behave, bereft of thinking, compassion, integrity and ethics, when we will assume the computer is always right.
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RE: WTF Bites
I don’t know if I ever shared this nugget of WTF but here goes.
My stepdad and I never saw eye to eye on many things but the one subject we learned a long time ago was to not discuss programming despite it being basically the only thing we actually had in common.
He would rail against modern software development for how wasteful it is - and he’s not wrong - but he would routinely argue that software should be built in assembly because that would be fastest.
Now, he started programming in 1980 or so when this was kinda true, so I get it, but here’s the …
He doesn’t program in assembly himself. He uses QBASIC booted on his 486.
I’d have more sympathy for this view if he upheld it himself or he ever tried to write anything of the complexity that I do on a daily basis.
I mean, I even think he uses QBASIC wrong. QBASIC for all its faults has functions and subroutines (void functions) with proper local scope so you can do nicely delineated code but then he goes off and writes 30K of BASIC all in global scope and does everything with GO SUB and GO TO. And wonders why he runs into variable collisions.
His principle reason for not using proper subroutines? QBASIC “hides” the code from him. Having it all in one place is easier to work with.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
You’re welcome for the vacation day, folks!
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
I saw a group of developers throwing $1 bills at each other after a particularly gruesome code review.
Turns out they were just passing the buck.
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RE: Contempt Culture
Let me set the record straight for a moment, because there's a lot of myths about PHP that aren't true any more.
Yes, it has type juggling. Except that the type juggling is getting more strict. 7 brought us the ability to specify types of things going in and types of things coming out - and with 7.1 it's more strict about this for the internal functions. In other words, all the shit y'all gave us for nonsense behaviour of variables, we started to do something about it.
Yes, we had some bullshit practices for input, the likes of magic quotes. Register globals. We, as a language community realised the evils of this, and removed them again.
mysql_real_escape_string? Yes, it was a fuck-up, but it was also to avoid breaking backwards compatibility, because we actually give a shit about that kind of thing. MySQLi has both, but that's because MySQLi was built to make it easy to migrate code forwards and be a drop in replacement for the old (now removed) MySQL library. Backwards compatibility and some thought to forwards movement.
In fact we even did some crazy-ass shit in recent versions like adding generators. We also have traits too, plus variadic functions. All of which feels natural to work with.
The PHP standard library is more robust and feature complete than some languages can claim, too.
Yes, it still has warts, but the dev team is listening and is working on trying to actually, you know, fix the issues rather than do stupid pointless shit that doesn't need to be in the language.
We have sane package management, we have a collection of frameworks that all provide a nice variety of feature set choices. We have a language that is forward-moving and a growing collection of developers in the language that aren't fucktarded misanthropes that can only sneer at other languages for being some definition of inferior. We, as a language community, realised mistakes were made and are trying to fix them.
And if all you can do is sneer down at us, wonder why we're going to tell you to fuck off because we're trying to learn from our mistakes. And we're doing that in a way that doesn't require massive build chains or transpilers or masses of dependencies.
Oh, and let me know when your language of choice powers approximately a quarter of the whole fucking internet.
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RE: This is how it feels to learn Javascript in 2016
@ChrisH said in This is how it feels to learn Javascript in 2016:
Ah, okay. I searched for the URL before posting and got no hits.
Search works about as well as pagination.
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RE: WTF Bites
So Monday is a bank holiday for the Queen’s funeral. Fair enough.
Businesses are not forced to close, the decision to do so was made quickly and for individual businesses to implement as they see fit. The shortness of notice is inconvenient but whatever, we’ll figure it out.
But then you have Center Parcs. They are a collection of resorts in the UK, accommodation, restaurants. Mini villages with some nature stuff.
I don’t know, I’ve never been, they always seemed for the people who were too post for Butlins but not rich or broad minded enough to go somewhere abroad. ( )
Anyway. They have decided they’re closing for the day. Fair enough that’s their call.
But it’s the manner of it that’s - if it were closing for new arrivals to the accommodation, just for the Monday, fine, inconvenient but fine. Close the restaurants too if you must, other food options exist.
But no, that’s not what they’re doing. The entire venues are closing - that means you have to vacate your accommodation for 24 hours. Even if you had a Friday to Friday stay booked, you must leave your accommodation for that 24 hours. You can leave your luggage there, though, that’s fine. You can then get access to your room again Tuesday morning.
And in case anyone thinks this is a matter of misunderstanding, I give you a tweet exchange between a customer and a customer service rep: https://twitter.com/CenterParcsUK/status/1569666674713923584
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RE: WTF Bites
You have achieved senior developer: writing jury-rig CSV transformer to convert one CSV to another CSV format to fudge requirements neither the source nor destination systems know how to cope with.
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RE: Internet of shit
@dkf all those Node JS framework dependencies won’t install by themselves.
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RE: Abode unCreative Suite (includes hoodie!)
Fun fact, a friend of a friend of mine (we have sat in a pub together and consumed alcohol) is a GIMP contributor, and he says he sees nothing wrong with the UI.
So, they're not interested in fixing the things that are wrong with it because in their mind, everything's fine.
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RE: Let's create DUMB PASSWORD RULES
@DCRoss good point, we should also ban passwords starting with a
=
for the same reason. -
RE: WTF Bites
@cvi the bit that kills me is that what is old is new again. The web was always somewhat decentralised and then the social media juggernauts happened.
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RE: The UK is becoming a police state.
@blakeyrat I find it particularly instructive that the very novel that warns against such a thing was written by someone from this little island. You'd swear the government was treating it as a guidebook rather than the warning it is.
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RE: Web USB
https://what.thedailywtf.com/uploads/system/site-logo.png
The emoji form is too damn small to indicate the levels of wrong here.
So not only is there a major in 'why u let internet have control over hardware it has no fucking business having control over', they're then expecting the hardware manufacturers to practice defence-in-depth. It's not their fucking responsibility to protect against this kind of shit.