Microsoft Surface - WTF?



  • So Microsoft has a new tablet out called Surface.  I don't know anything about it, but I've been wondering if it might be be a worthwhile product.  Unfortunately, after watching these two videos, I still know absoulutely nothing about the Surface.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPuWWADcUbY

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB5txqIl8jQ

    On another forum, the first video was described as "apparently Microsoft is marketing to pedophiles".  The whole point of the second video seems to be the fact that the Surface makes a loud "click" when you attach the keyboard.  As if that is some sort of desirable feature that needs to be emphazied.  I guess this is the sequel to the Jerry Seinfeld / Bill Gates commercials -- totally pointless advertising that tells you absolutely nothing.



  • The Surface is a Windows tablet that can't run Windows software. I can't imagine why it isn't catching on.



  • @db2 said:

    The Surface is a Windows tablet that can't run Windows software. I can't imagine why it isn't catching on.

    Unless you pay for the i5 one.. which is like $1000, plus $150 for the keyboard... and isn't out yet. And is more than a decent laptop.



  •  The 'Click' thing is that the keyboard is held on by a magnetic connector; so when you get it nearly right, it snaps itself together; and you can easily just pull the keyboard away from the main unit; but it's been carefully balanced so you could hold the unit by the keyboard with the screen dangling and not falling off... (I wouldn't try it though) Basically attaching and removing the keyboard cover is very easy.

     Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me. I do plan to buy a Surface if I don't have to spend money on a root canal/crown this friday. (no dental insurance, just out-of-pocket.) That would make a nice slogan "I'd rather have a Surface than a root canal."



  • @bgodot said:

     The 'Click' thing is that the keyboard is held on by a magnetic connector; so when you get it nearly right, it snaps itself together; and you can easily just pull the keyboard away from the main unit; but it's been carefully balanced so you could hold the unit by the keyboard with the screen dangling and not falling off... (I wouldn't try it though) Basically attaching and removing the keyboard cover is very easy.

     Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me. I do plan to buy a Surface if I don't have to spend money on a root canal/crown this friday. (no dental insurance, just out-of-pocket.) That would make a nice slogan "I'd rather have a Surface than a root canal."

    There is a certain type of person in the USA who is amazed by magnets and wonders how the fuck they work. Maybe that's who Microsoft is marketing to now.



  • @bgodot said:

    Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me.

    They think they've invented the detachable keyboard.



  • @gu3st said:

    @db2 said:
    The Surface is a Windows tablet that can't run Windows software. I can't imagine why it isn't catching on.

    Unless you pay for the i5 one.. which is like $1000, plus $150 for the keyboard... and isn't out yet. And is more than a decent laptop.

    That would be the Surface Pro, not the Surface. And personally I'd rather have an Iconia W510.



  • @configurator said:

    @bgodot said:
    Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me.

    They think they've invented the detachable keyboard.

    Or they think they are the most popular tablet that has a detachable keyboard available... It's like Logitech doesn't make one for the most popular tablet.



  • I don't know who approves of those shitty ads, but they should be fired on the spot.



  • @configurator said:

    @bgodot said:
    Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me.

    They think they've invented the detachable keyboard.

     

    But they're 20 years too late to have invented the [url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDss8V2OME4"]detachable penis[/url].



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @configurator said:

    @bgodot said:
    Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me.

    They think they've invented the detachable keyboard.

     

    But they're 20 years too late to have invented the detachable penis.

    Ahh King Missile .. what an interesting band. I have several of their albums and bought my first one based on the strength of that song.



  • @configurator said:

    @bgodot said:
    Why they are focusing so hard on that one little feature is a mystery to me.

    They think they've invented the detachable keyboard.

    1) The Asus does not use magnetic coupling [at east the Eee pad I have doesn't

    2) Technically the attachment is a docking station that contains a keyboard.....



  • I have a Compaq TC1000 from about 2003 - still works -  ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compaq_TC1000  

     

    Pretty feeble processing power ... and a DETACHABLE KEYBOARD.

     



  • @mikedjames said:

    I have a Compaq TC1000 from about 2003 - still works -  ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compaq_TC1000  

     

    Pretty feeble processing power ... and a DETACHABLE KEYBOARD.

     

    I had one of those too. ^_^

    I also still have Microsoft's other aborted tablet, the Samsung Q1. It had a case that included a USB keyboard that you could hook up to the device, or remove to be a separate USB keyboard. I use that keyboard more then I use the Q1 itself nowadays.



  • The Surface is allegedly not possible to jail-break.

    Apparently, Microsoft has restricted the Surface from loading non-signed software
    / binaries by implementing UEFI SecureBoot. Microsoft has loaded on the
    ARM based tablet its private key instead of the 'Microsoft Windows UEFI Driver Publisher'
    key, which is needed to sign non-Microsoft software like Linux
    distributions or loaders. So, no publisher key = no signed non-Microsoft
    binary = no Linux, no BSD, no nothing."



  • @El_Heffe said:

    So Microsoft has a new tablet out called Surface.  I don't know anything about it, but I've been wondering if it might be be a worthwhile product.  Unfortunately, after watching these two videos, I still know absoulutely nothing about the Surface.


    Well, you can learn a little more from this video. (After installing silverlight, because how else would you be able to play a video in your browser?)
    Like that it's for people whose most important moment in life was solving that rubics cube puzzle, that it lets you work the way you used to work before you bought it and that it has a touch-sensitive keyboard.



  • @GreyWolf said:

    no BSD

    Well there go my plans to put Mac OSX on my surface.



  • @OzPeter said:

    Ahh King Missile .. what an interesting band. I have several of their albums and bought my first one based on the strength of that song.

    Is the rest of their stuff any good or are they more one-hit-wonders?



  • @El_Heffe said:

    On another forum, the first video was described as "apparently Microsoft is marketing to pedophiles".
    Hmm... what would you call a person who associates dancing kids with pedophilia?



  • @Zecc said:

    @El_Heffe said:

    On another forum, the first video was described as "apparently Microsoft is marketing to pedophiles".
    Hmm... what would you call a person who associates dancing kids with pedophilia?

    Doctor draws a line on paper and shows it to a patient:

    "Patient, what's that"

    "That's a bed, and on each side there are people fucking"

    Doctor draws a triangle:

    "Now, what's that?"

    "That's a room with three corners; in each corner there are people fucking"

    Doctor draws a square.

    "That's a square room, and in each corner people are fucking. Doc, why you're showing all these lewd pictures to me? Are you a pervert?"

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @GreyWolf said:

    So, no publisher key = no signed non-Microsoft
    binary = no Linux
    What are you talking about?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Zecc said:

    @El_Heffe said:

    On another forum, the first video was described as "apparently Microsoft is marketing to pedophiles".
    Hmm... what would you call a person who associates dancing kids with pedophilia?

    Jimmy Savile?



  • @PJH said:

    @Zecc said:

    @El_Heffe said:

    On another forum, the first video was described as "apparently Microsoft is marketing to pedophiles".
    Hmm... what would you call a person who associates dancing kids with pedophilia?

    Jimmy Savile?
     

    Freddie Star?

    Dave Lee Travis?

    ...etc

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Cassidy said:

    @PJH said:

    @Zecc said:

    @El_Heffe said:

    On another forum, the first video was described as "apparently Microsoft is marketing to pedophiles".
    Hmm... what would you call a person who associates dancing kids with pedophilia?

    Jimmy Savile?
     

    Freddie Star?

    Dave Lee Travis?

    ...etc

     

    Rolf Harris.



    Anyone konw who the "53 yr old" arrested on the same day as Jim Davidson was ("Yewtree 9")? All the reports I've read so far have conspicuously not named them.



  • @PJH said:

    @GreyWolf said:
    So, no publisher key = no signed non-Microsoft
    binary = no Linux
    What are you talking about?

    There is so much ignorance around secure boot among the Linux community... where does it come from? A Slashdot article?

    Anybody can get their key added to secure boot. It takes a little paperwork and a little money, but Microsoft isn't excluding anybody (IIRC they gave Ubuntu one for like $100) and if you don't want to piggy-back Microsoft's key, you're always welcome to go to the BIOS makers directly.

    To a technical person outside the Linux community like me, the argument comes across as, "whine! We're too lazy to expend the tiniest bit of effort to make our OS secure against rootkits! Waaah!"



  • @blakeyrat said:

    To a technical person outside the Linux community like me, the argument comes across as, "whine! We're too lazy to expend the tiniest bit of effort to make our OS secure against rootkits! Waaah!"


    Because rootkits have to be installed as an OS and not, I dunno, the way sudo works on every computer that has sudo ever.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @PJH said:
    @GreyWolf said:
    So, no publisher key = no signed non-Microsoft
    binary = no Linux
    What are you talking about?

    There is so much ignorance around secure boot among the Linux community... where does it come from? A Slashdot article?

    Anybody can get their key added to secure boot. It takes a little paperwork and a little money, but Microsoft isn't excluding anybody (IIRC they gave Ubuntu one for like $100) and if you don't want to piggy-back Microsoft's key, you're always welcome to go to the BIOS makers directly.

    That only works for x86/x64 machines. For ARM machines, such as the Surface, Microsoft's logo requirements mandate that SecureBoot be on and never able to be turned off, and that Microsoft's ARM key (which they're not letting anyone piggyback except computer OEMs) be the only key on there.@El_Heffe said:
    Unfortunately, after watching these two videos, I still know absoulutely nothing about the Surface.
    Silverlight is about skateboards. Light up the web.


  • You know, for those complaining about the Surface being locked down: Do you have a smartphone or tablet? Does it say "Nexus" on the back? If you answered yes then no there is a 95% chance you are a major hypocrite.

    It's quite possible that XDA Developers or someone is going to hack the Surface open like all the Android/WinMob devices they've broken into in the past. This is par for the course. Stop thinking of the Surface like a PC because it isn't one. It's a tablet. It's purpose is not to run Ubuntu or BSD or whatever. It's purpose is to be this:

    [Apple iPad]

    And if you say it needs to run Ubuntu or BSD or whatever, I suggest you look into a device that can. Probably one of the aforementioned ones that say Nexus on the back. You don't have to buy it if you don't want to, but on the flipside not everyone wants a device for Ubuntu or BSD or whatever.



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    You know, for those complaining about the Surface being locked down: Do you have a smartphone or tablet? Does it say "Nexus" on the back? If you answered yes then no there is a 95% chance you are a major hypocrite.

    You haven't come anywhere close to making a case for hypocrisy here. Inconsistent, maybe. Hypocrisy would be more like making locked down tablets and then saying how awful locked down tablets are. Or at least saying something else that you haven't asked if we say.

    I'll bet you say things like, "I could care less," when you mean the opposite, don't you? Fucking hypocrite.



  • I'm referring to people who say stuff like "I don't like the surface because it's locked down. Sent from my iPad."



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    I'm referring to people who say stuff like "I don't like the surface because it's locked down. Sent from my iPad."

    What if they said, "I don't like the surface because it's locked down. Sent from my Surface."?



  • @boomzilla said:

    @MiffTheFox said:
    I'm referring to people who say stuff like "I don't like the surface because it's locked down. Sent from my iPad."

    What if they said, "I don't like the surface because it's locked down. Sent from my Surface."?

     

    What if they said "Gotta say love that SURFACE! Have bought 12 already for Christmas gifts. Sent from my iPad"?



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    What if they said "Gotta say love that SURFACE! Have bought 12 already for Christmas gifts. Sent from my iPad"?
     

    You respond with "yes, the iPad's surface is shiny and glossy, isn't it?"



  • @TwelveBaud said:

    That only works for x86/x64 machines. For ARM machines, such as the Surface, Microsoft's logo requirements mandate that SecureBoot be on and never able to be turned off, and that Microsoft's ARM key (which they're not letting anyone piggyback except computer OEMs) be the only key on there.

    Actually, I've read the logo requirements. And there is nothing saying that only Microsoft's key is present in the key database. OEMs can ship whatever keys they want, as long as Microsoft is one of them - nothing stops a Linux vendor from talking to the manufacturers about getting themselves on those tablets. Except the Microsoft Surface, of course, because Microsoft is the OEM there. Certainly they could get their keys on the HP, Samsung, and so on tablets.



  • It's still wrong that you can't install any fucking OS you want in your own fucking computer.



  • @spamcourt said:

    It's still wrong that you can't install any fucking OS you want in your own fucking computer.

    Why can't you?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @spamcourt said:
    It's still wrong that you can't install any fucking OS you want in your own fucking computer.

    Why can't you?

    ...

    Short-term memory loss, too?



  • @Ben L. said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    @spamcourt said:
    It's still wrong that you can't install any fucking OS you want in your own fucking computer.

    Why can't you?

    ...

    Short-term memory loss, too?

    I remember some incorrect noise about SecureBoot, which we showed was incorrect. I want to know why Spamcourt, given the posts in this thread, still thinks he can't install any fucking OS he wants in his own fucking computer.

    Unless he's talking about Apple computers, in which case it makes sense.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Ben L. said:
    @blakeyrat said:
    @spamcourt said:
    It's still wrong that you can't install any fucking OS you want in your own fucking computer.

    Why can't you?

    ...

    Short-term memory loss, too?

    I remember some incorrect noise about SecureBoot, which we showed was incorrect. I want to know why Spamcourt, given the posts in this thread, still thinks he can't install any fucking OS he wants in his own fucking computer.

    Unless he's talking about Apple computers, in which case it makes sense.

    I should not have to pay extra money to run software I own on hardware I own. Do you agree or disagree?



  • @Ben L. said:

    I should not have to pay extra money to run software I own on hardware I own. Do you agree or disagree?

    When it comes to PCs, the Windows logo requirements say that it has to be disablable, and even if you're too lazy to access the bios, Ububtus fork of shim will boot any GRUB.

    When it comes to tablets, yes this is bad locking down a device, but you'll have to take it up with Apple, HTC, Samsung, ASUS, LG, and all the other companies that do the exact same thing.



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    @Ben L. said:
    I should not have to pay extra money to run software I own on hardware I own. Do you agree or disagree?

    When it comes to PCs, the Windows logo requirements say that it has to be disablable, and even if you're too lazy to access the bios, Ububtus fork of shim will boot any GRUB.

    When it comes to tablets, yes this is bad locking down a device, but you'll have to take it up with Apple, HTC, Samsung, ASUS, LG, and all the other companies that do the exact same thing.

    Ah. Thank you for explaining this instead of denying the existence of my concerns.



  • @spamcourt said:

    It's still wrong that you can't install any fucking OS you want in your own fucking computer.
     

     

    Where do i get a fucking OS from? I would like to re-install it on my wife.



  • @Helix said:

    Where do i get a fucking OS from? I would like to re-install it on my wife.
     

    I already have.

    She muttered something about "incompatibility issues" when you last tried. Not sure what that's all about.



  • @PJH said:

    @Cassidy said:

    Freddie Star?

    Dave Lee Travis?

    ...etc

     




    Anyone konw who the "53 yr old" arrested on the same day as Jim Davidson was ("Yewtree 9")? All the reports I've read so far have conspicuously not named them.

    Then obviously "Yewtree 9" is not famous, and therefore given the 'anonymity' (= lack of media interest) that most accused persons get.

    And as far as I know, neither Freddie Starr nor DLT were accused of fiddling with minors: sexual harrassment/assault, yes, but with people who were at least over 16 at the time the alleged offences took place.



  • @Cad Delworth said:

    And as far as I know, neither Freddie Starr nor DLT were accused of fiddling with minors: sexual harrassment/assault, yes, but with people who were at least over 16 at the time the alleged offences took place.
     

    Not in the case of Freddie Star. He denied ever knowing a 14-year old girl casting accusations until someone produced a photo of them together in Saville's dressing room.

    DLT's hasn't been linked to kids. Yet.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    So Microsoft has a new tablet out called Surface. 
     

    In related news....




  • @mikedjames said:

    I have a Compaq TC1000 from about 2003 - still works -  ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compaq_TC1000  

     

    Pretty feeble processing power ... and a DETACHABLE KEYBOARD.

     

     

    I really miss touchscreens that were made to be operated with a pen, instead of a finger. You could do things like write on them or click small buttons and so on.

     



  • @Mo6eB said:

    I really miss touchscreens that were made to be operated with a pen, instead of a finger. You could do things like write on them or click small buttons and so on.

    Alas, as a cost effective decision, it is very expensive to make a single device the supports both well, and devices which were restricted to a pen saw only limited adoption..



  • @Mo6eB said:

    @mikedjames said:

    I have a Compaq TC1000 from about 2003 - still works -  ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compaq_TC1000  

     

    Pretty feeble processing power ... and a DETACHABLE KEYBOARD.

     

     

    I really miss touchscreens that were made to be operated with a pen, instead of a finger. You could do things like write on them or click small buttons and so on.

     

    Except on the TC1000 the lag is so bad you cant easily write on it :-). The digitiser is only running at 9600 baud if I remember right.

     

     

    I am sure someone will break into the Surface using loads of University Computer lab tech, and discover something like the Windows 98 "all authentication keys are valid if they are divisible by 7" hack.

     

     



  • @Mo6eB said:

    @mikedjames said:

    I have a Compaq TC1000 from about 2003 - still works -  ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compaq_TC1000  

     

    Pretty feeble processing power ... and a DETACHABLE KEYBOARD.

     

     

    I really miss touchscreens that were made to be operated with a pen, instead of a finger. You could do things like write on them or click small buttons and so on.

     

    Except on the TC1000 the lag is so bad you cant easily write on it :-). The digitiser is only running at 9600 baud if I remember right.

     

     

    I am sure someone will break into the Surface using loads of University Computer lab tech, and discover something like the Windows 98 "all authentication keys are valid if they are divisible by 7" hack.

     

     


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.