Strengths and weaknesses



  • My boss received one of those have-all-team-members-write-down-3-strengths-and-3-weaknesses-and-discuss memos. One of the dimmer-but-thinks-he's-funny offshore guys on the team writes - via email - to my boss:

    weaknesses

    1. Pointless corporate procedures make me want to grab an assault rifle and seek out the nearest clock tower

    I see the sarcastic humor, but to put that in writing?



  • Perhaps it was the nicest thing he could say....

    After being forced to hobble together some web page code while the web programmers were all on vacation.  He will say sorry afterwards though.



  • @snoofle said:

    My boss received one of those have-all-team-members-write-down-3-strengths-and-3-weaknesses-and-discuss memos. One of the dimmer-but-thinks-he's-funny offshore guys on the team writes - via email - to my boss:

    weaknesses

    1. Pointless corporate procedures make me want to grab an assault rifle and seek out the nearest clock tower

    I see the sarcastic humor, but to put that in writing?

     Depends on who the person is.

    In any case, it made my day. lmao.



  • @Kattman:  Nah - the guy that wrote that comment in the web code is a bright (and different) guy



  • @snoofle said:

    Pointless corporate procedures make me want to grab an assault rifle and seek out the nearest clock tower

    WHAT DOES HE HAVE AGAINST CLOCK TOWERS



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    @snoofle said:

    Pointless corporate procedures make me want to grab an assault rifle and seek out the nearest clock tower

    WHAT DOES HE HAVE AGAINST CLOCK TOWERS

    He hates these cans!



  • @KattMan said:

    After being forced to hobble together some web page code while the web programmers were all on vacation.  He will say sorry afterwards though.

    I get the impression he's talking about having to fill out a pointless email listing strengths and weaknesses as the "procedure".



  • @snoofle said:

    have-all-team-members-write-down-3-strengths-and-3-weaknesses-and-discuss
     

    Weaknesses:

    1. I cannot remain out of water for more than 24 hours at a time.
    2. Radioactive fragments of my exploded homeworld.
    3. Due to a necessary impurity in the battery used to charge it, my ring is powerless against anything yellow.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:
    @snoofle said:

    Pointless corporate procedures make me want to grab an assault rifle and seek out the nearest clock tower

    WHAT DOES HE HAVE AGAINST CLOCK TOWERS

    He hates these cans!

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.
     

    AmeriCans, RepubliCans...



  • @dhromed said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.
     

    AmeriCans, RepubliCans...

    DemocratiCans?  Yes? Maybe?  Please?



  • @dhromed said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.
     

    AmeriCans, RepubliCans...

    Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.

    The difference is I posted a link, and fucking did not. "Hey guys there's this really funny famous joke I heard about! I bet you really want to listen to it now! TOUGH SHIT!"

    You lose 50 forumpoints.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    You lose 50 forumpoints.
     

    Speakerphone Dude (enchanted creature) 1/1

    When Speakerphone Dude first enters play, place 500 tokens on him. With every attack, regardless of success, Speakerphone Dude loses 50 tokens. Upon defeat, Speakerphone Dude does not go to the graveyard, but to a random place in the top quarter of your deck, while retaining the remainder of the tokens. This process continues until all tokens have been depleted. It then goes to the graveyard.

    While Speakerphone Dude is in play, all white, black and blue cards have their casting cost increased by 1 for each required color. This effect stacks for every Speakerphone Dude in play.

    "I smash it every time, but it just keeps coming back!" – Blakharrat the Warrior

     



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I posted a link, and fucking did not.

    Schrödinger called, it's time to feed the cat.



  • @dhromed said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    You lose 50 forumpoints.
     

    Speakerphone Dude (enchanted creature) 1/1

    When Speakerphone Dude first enters play, place 500 tokens on him. With every attack, regardless of success, Speakerphone Dude loses 50 tokens. Upon defeat, Speakerphone Dude does not go to the graveyard, but to a random place in the top quarter of your deck, while retaining the remainder of the tokens. This process continues until all tokens have been depleted. It then goes to the graveyard.

    While Speakerphone Dude is in play, all white, black and blue cards have their casting cost increased by 1 for each required color. This effect stacks for every Speakerphone Dude in play.

    "I smash it every time, but it just keeps coming back!" – Blakharrat the Warrior

    Do not worry, this card was banned from official game play.



  • @KattMan said:

    @dhromed said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.
     

    AmeriCans, RepubliCans...

    DemocratiCans?  Yes? Maybe?  Please?

     

     

    Those are called "YesWeCans"

     



  • "I get the impression he's talking about having to fill out a pointless email listing strengths and weaknesses as the "procedure"."

     I think the actual weakness is that while he wants to head up a clock tower with a rifle, he knows he never actually will.



  • @mightybaldking said:

    @KattMan said:

    @dhromed said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    I was very disappointed by the link. I was expecting the famous joke about the guy shooting all kinds of cans: MexiCans, AfriCans, JamaiCans, etc.
     

    AmeriCans, RepubliCans...

    DemocratiCans?  Yes? Maybe?  Please?

     

     

    Those are called "YesWeCans"

     

    Awesome! too bad yeswecans.com is already registered.



  • @dhromed said:

    – Blakharrat the Warrior
    That name right there is the best thing I've read all day.



  • @snoofle said:

    1. Pointless corporate procedures make me want to grab an assault rifle and seek out the nearest clock tower

    That really is a weakness. If I'm heading for the clock tower, I would bring some sort of bolt-action or single shot rifle. I'm looking at a situation where I'm shooting at long ranges with no real way to resupply, so I need to conserve ammo, and if I spray out all my ammo in the first couple of minutes, well, then, I'm just going to be an idiot on top of a clock tower with an empty gun.

    Real weakness: Poor planning skills.



  • @NickAragua said:

    That really is a weakness. If I'm heading for the clock tower, I would bring some sort of bolt-action or single shot rifle. I'm looking at a situation where I'm shooting at long ranges with no real way to resupply, so I need to conserve ammo, and if I spray out all my ammo in the first couple of minutes, well, then, I'm just going to be an idiot on top of a clock tower with an empty gun.

    Real weakness: Poor planning skills.


    Amateur, assault rifles for the most part have a three setting fire selector:

    Single Shot: For picking isolated targets, like that smug manager or that stapler stealing bitch

    Bursts: For tight groupings, like that team of incompetent devs that always makes you work twice as hard because of their retarded code.

    Full Auto: For that last blast of glory when the tactical team goes in to take you down.

    By the way, I'm not a weapon's conossier as they are illegal in my country (however it is mandatory that you know how to use it...wtf) so my terminology might not be correct.



  • @serguey123 said:

    @NickAragua said:
    That really is a weakness. If I'm heading for the clock tower, I would bring some sort of bolt-action or single shot rifle. I'm looking at a situation where I'm shooting at long ranges with no real way to resupply, so I need to conserve ammo, and if I spray out all my ammo in the first couple of minutes, well, then, I'm just going to be an idiot on top of a clock tower with an empty gun. Real weakness: Poor planning skills.
    Amateur, assault rifles for the most part have a three setting fire selector:

    Single Shot: For picking isolated targets, like that smug manager or that stapler stealing bitch

    Bursts: For tight groupings, like that team of incompetent devs that always makes you work twice as hard because of their retarded code.

    Full Auto: For that last blast of glory when the tactical team goes in to take you down.

    By the way, I'm not a weapon's conossier as they are illegal in my country (however it is mandatory that you know how to use it...wtf) so my terminology might not be correct.

    And I thought Candy Land would be a more civilized place that would allow its citizens to be armed with full auto weapons.



  • @Anketam said:

    And I thought Candy Land would be a more civilized place that would allow its citizens to be armed with full auto weapons.
     

    they don't shoot bullets, dimwit.

    Gumdrops.



  • @dhromed said:

    @Anketam said:
    And I thought Candy Land would be a more civilized place that would allow its citizens to be armed with full auto weapons.

    they don't shoot bullets, dimwit.

    Gumdrops.

    You ever seen a surgeon pulling gumdrops from a fallen infantry-man? Bones coated in high fructose corn syrup, fruit-scented blood squirting from the wound, sticky, gummy surgery floors... bullets would be a mercy.



  • @taustin said:

    I think the actual weakness is that while he wants to head up a clock tower with a rifle, he knows he never actually will.
    He never said that he wants to head up a clock tower, only that he wants to seek it out. Possibly to kill it, maybe he hates their ticking.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @dhromed said:
    @Anketam said:
    And I thought Candy Land would be a more civilized place that would allow its citizens to be armed with full auto weapons.

    they don't shoot bullets, dimwit.

    Gumdrops.

    You ever seen a surgeon pulling gumdrops from a fallen infantry-man? Bones coated in high fructose corn syrup, fruit-scented blood squirting from the wound, sticky, gummy surgery floors... bullets would be a mercy.

     

    Lemonade in your eyes.

    It burns, man, it burns.

     


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