Decoding requirements



  • So I received some specifications* (supposedly written by a gentleman who is a native language English speaker) to design a new system. One of the requirements in one of them is the following:

    "The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must"

    Since I have absolutely no idea what the above sentence means, I submit it to the collective wisdom** of these forums in the hope that somebody, somewhere, can decipher it. If you can't do that (or can't be arsed), then posting your own spec WTFs in this thread is also good.

    * I know, I should be thankful that I'm actually getting specs. However, when said specs appear to have been generated by mutated chimpanzees, my gratitude is somewhat diminished.
    ** shittiness



  • Maybe@The_Assimilator said:

    "The configuration must allow the user to specify a total maximum number of actions per hour with a hour many per one action every 15 minutes being a valid option this must"
    ?



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    a native language English speaker

    ...and at the same time, a chimpanzee? Man, that's an opportunity if I ever saw one!



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must
    Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do
    look more like?



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    "The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must"


    Maybe:

    "The software must be configured to sum all numbers every fifteen minutes."?

    Or:

    "The configuration Must all a total number per hour many per 15 minutes option this must."?



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must

    I see the problem - he means "an hour", not "a hour", it's just a typo. Changing that satisfies Word's grammar checker, so I'm pretty sure it's OK. Basically, he just means that you should make sure that the config, per 15 minutes option, must total with an hour, per hour, number. HTH.



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    "The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must"
     

    I am willing to be that a small green guy named Yoda wrote the requirements for you.  You should be so fortunate.



  • Would it be a heresy to ask further what was meant by the quoted sentence?



  • Recently had an item where the problem was described in the header like:

    Users of type W can perform action X on objects of type Y with attribute Z.

    The item itself read:

    Users of type W can perform action X on objects of type Y without attribute Z.

     

    Well, yeah I guess they probably could.  Still it's nothing compared to the OP's functional requirement...damn.



  • @amischiefr said:

    @The_Assimilator said:

    "The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must"
     

    I am willing to be that a small green guy named Yoda wrote the requirements for you.  You should be so fortunate.

     

    Function: validateConfiguration

    Parameters: configuration string

    Returns: True, or true-not.  There is no try/catch.



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    If you can't do that (or can't be arsed), then posting your own spec WTFs in this thread is also good.
     

    "Every subpage should have it's own layout template" - for page which contained product list, and recipe list, and about 20+ subpages of "about"... and YES, they really meant EVERY subpage... i was a subcontractor for graphics guy who was designing it, he never worked on any webpage before, but has done several magazines (DTP work), so he intended to do it like that... (do i have to add that i was the one to actually slice and code those layouts?... fortunately, i've talked him out of that insanity later...)

     

    (+ the added WTF of completely defeating the meaning of "template")



  • @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    but has done several magazines (DTP work), so he intended to do it like that
    Godammit I hate those people. They should be strangled with their own mouse cable.

    "Well, it's a magazine but in electronic form instead of paper, so obviously I'm qualified to design it" No you're not, fuckwit.

    They are the reason I go on furniture shop webpages and they have their catalog scanned from the actual thing and displayed via flash. So in order to find wardrobes for example you have to go to the contents page first and then keep turning pages till you get to the section you want. This works in real life, so clearly you should do the same thing online. You wouldn't want to confuse your customers with strange, exotic things like interactive menus and search fields after all.



  • @DOA said:

    @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    but has done several magazines (DTP work), so he intended to do it like that
    Godammit I hate those people. They should be strangled with their own mouse cable.

    Mac mice are wireless - you'll have to use his ponytail instead.



  • @SenTree said:

    @DOA said:

    @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    but has done several magazines (DTP work), so he intended to do it like that
    Godammit I hate those people. They should be strangled with their own mouse cable.

    Mac mice are wireless - you'll have to use his ponytail instead.

     

    dammit, strangling is too tender, hit them repeatedly in the head with a blunt object (the mac itself seems to be extremely suitable for that)



  • @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    @SenTree said:

    @DOA said:

    @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    but has done several magazines (DTP work), so he intended to do it like that
    Godammit I hate those people. They should be strangled with their own mouse cable.

    Mac mice are wireless - you'll have to use his ponytail instead.

     

    dammit, strangling is too tender, hit them repeatedly in the head with a blunt object (the mac itself seems to be extremely suitable for that)

    Hey, Macs are useful for something after all! /rimshot

    Regarding the catalogue thing, I had the same issue with a client's Creative Department that insisted "OUR CATALOGUE MUST LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME ON THE WEB AS IT DOES IN PRINT FORM". We told them that was a bad idea, but were told to "DO IT"... which we did, but at the same time, I also made a mockup of the catalogue in proper web format, i.e. searchable, clickable, etc. After the site went into internal testing and everyone pretty much panned its shittiness, I quietly procured my prototype and asked the testers what they thought of it. They loved it, but when they heard that the Creative Department didn't, the Creative guys got their asses handed to them by one of the testers... who happened to be their own IT Director. Miracles do happen...



  • @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    strangling is too tender
     

    The hell. You've never strangled anyone before in your life, have you?

    Pf.

    Figures.



  • "The configuration must allow a total number per hour with a hourhow many per 15 minutes option, this must"

     

    Just thinking: phonetic/spellchecker trashing of a semiliterate source document.

     

     



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    So I received some specifications* (supposedly written by a gentleman who is a native language English speaker) to design a new system. One of the requirements in one of them is the following:

    "The configuration must all a total number per hour with a hour many per 15 minutes option this must"

     

    It seems hard to believe that this was written by a native English speaker, unless:  a)  They're on something;  b)  Real, actual, diagnosable, no-joke neurological problems; or c) Maybe there's an intermediary there somewhere.  E.g.  He read it over the phone, someone scribbled it down on paper.  Someone else read the paper, and transcribed it thusly.

     Did you find out what it was supposed to be?



  • He lives in South Africa, where English is only one of the 11 official languages (English is only the 5th or 6t). It's not impossible that the specs writer actually speaks pretty good English but has huge troubles writing it down, especially if he is not actually a native speaker, as he claims.

    In South Africa, this may also mean you have to be a bit careful confronting him with it; some people are quite sensitive to any suggestion of racism.



  • @b_redeker said:

    He lives in South Africa, where English is only one of the 11 official languages (English is only the 5th or 6t). It's not impossible that the specs writer actually speaks pretty good English but has huge troubles writing it down, especially if he is not actually a native speaker, as he claims.

    In South Africa, this may also mean you have to be a bit careful confronting him with it; some people are quite sensitive to any suggestion of racism.

    That's racist!



  • @dhromed said:

    @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    strangling is too tender
     

    The hell. You've never strangled anyone before in your life, have you?

    Pf.

    Figures.

     

    okay, what about "not satisfactory enough"? not feeling all the warm blood dripping off you... you would be loosing half of the joy...



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    MUST LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME
     

    you only need to hear these words to know something's gonna be screwed up pretty bad



  • @SEMI-HYBRID code said:

    okay, what about "not satisfactory enough"? not feeling all the warm blood dripping off you... you would be loosing half of the joy...
     

    true, true ;)


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