My whole current story is a string of escalating WTFs which I have no nerves, or intention to write in full, as I've already wasted enough time.
Suffice to say I am now downloading 3dumpsOfShit to the Max (3ds Max) because besides from them being monopolistic assholes with their FBX, they're also incompetent idiots with their "FBX Converter" that can't spit out any format supporting bones and animations (even including THEIR OWN 3ds!!!), only to open a thing in it, and save it in a different format which doesn't make blender (as well as most other non-Assholedesk software) shit itself when trying to import it.
And this... THIS is the final crowning "are you fucking kidding me you disgusting bunch of fucks?!?"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen.
Behold, in its full glory, a fucking .exe downloader/installer, which refuses to do anything if you had the AUDACITY to close the webpage which gracefully allowed you to download the downloader, after 2 pages of forms, because fuck you, you filthy peasant, unworthy of our godlike glory, how dare you EVER close our website, you should have it setup to auto-open with the highest priority on each start of your pc!
FUCK THOSE GUYS.