Interesting items from Amazon.se

Atazhaia

Amazon launched their swedish site this week. And to translate their product catalog they use the ~~finest~~cheapest machine translation known to man. I shall do a semi-professional translation of parts of their product catalog back to english.

Computer parts
Gigabyte Black, (Graphics card)
Pizza and pasta feldspar porcelain for pros (Computer case)
Cutting edge face (PSU)
Gel comb ultrathin number pillow for portable computer computer computer notebook (Numpad)
Health equipment 40 pins (Connector for Raspberry Pi)
Keyboard, steam mechanical keyboardmouse USB wired backlight and keyboard chocolate covered keycap + metal mouse

Games
Animal crucifix: New horizons
Zelda: Breathing of the savage
Fantasy fart game Star Wars
Do you require velocity - Refund
Great theft-car: San Andreas
Look at dogs 2
Reminder: Broken porcelain

Clothing
Tactical threads professional abuse half-zipper hoodie
Snow green dog bandana for a stupid sausage
Boxers for men adaptive panties that breaks hearts and exploding farts trunk cover fast drying underwear
Child army forest camo drop leg holster
Elegant cunt (Shirt)
Speedo unisex wine glasses for kids (Swimming goggles)
Mouth sleeve, Trump 2020 fuck your mouth feeling (Facial mask)
Warm and soft alpaca hat turnable with two sides - red and nigger
Pimkie women to bang (Sweater)
Vaccuum cleaner black bunnies trillby fancy dress paraphernalia (Hat)
Spaghetti holder (Top)
Hot neoprene fitness bra shaver sweating diet fellatio sauna effect sports bra
Washable anti-fellatio and oil resistant armless apron
Loose fitting sexy ribbed jerked off strechy high waist bodycon pen skirt
Terrible ankle socks

Tools
Scissors accident (Wirecutters)
Fingernail cutters (Nail remover)
Erotic nails
Airbrush with removable dildo
8" premium midget ballsack
High quality aluminum cast iron fan (Frying pan)
Stand-up mixer personality small mini hand plastic egg leaves,5 speed flowerpot
Automatic execution/filling station

Toys
Jungle dad bum (Smurf figure)
Great gift for ladies and girls at the office or at the office or at the office (Dildo)
Big skull with velociraptor (Doll house?)
Irregular cock (Rubik's cube-like)
Jurassic World agressive biter sarcastic, toy from 4 years

Other
Erotic snowmobile (Electric scooter)
Killing (Lamp)
Thermal credit card
Inflatable fishing boat engine
12 half frying pans travel kit
Poly stop cock head shutdown
Hiball eyeglasses
Blaster toner to cut arms, belly bum and legs
Cake decoration with cock
Glasses cloth - Mafia cock
Cunty cat white hairbrush
Appreciated cheese pulp (Perfume)
Poison free mug for outdoor use (Several different items)
Bra, for 7 breasts (Taco holder)
Fellatio chair (Exercise equipment)
Outdoor garden flag, fuck around and remove Ar15 flag
Air force net, illegal construction
Cat food, with ducks and underpants

Desciptions

After a long time it can resist raping by kids.
Make sure you don't care before bidding.
Cable length: 3 months
Full side with 4mm explosion safe tempered glass upgrade
For fishermen and [animal] females
Quality construction constructed with 90% heavy metals
Only fan, without cow-boiler
100% quality, every CPU-whore tested before delivery
Open the lid when mixing and add your favorite food, be it poop, chocolate bits or nut fragments.
With the function Lifetime Map Update-function the new cards are available up to 4 times from the anus.
Save your data about your car the place, with function "Find my bile"
Removable protection ring and rounded cocks ensures safe swing
Reformat the rocketdrive
This wood shaving band is ideal to secure baggage. Constructed with heavy and durable metal. The strap consists of 100% highly strong polyester.
Automatic filler unit 6.35cm with manual cock
Contains wooden bow 120cm with poop
It will explode sounds to catch your the cat's eyes
2 x 3,5mm small cocks
For professional and hobby cookies
Material PVC - Pipe airy poop, weight cream a cake and more mixture.
Simple - Result faster and more effort than the manual mixing.
If batteries have not been replaced after 3 days all executions will be turned off automatically.
Swimmable quality feed - legal and balanced in composition
Durable and terrible steely design
Hands, head and legs can be turned 360 degrees, which will make you funnier.
The doll is hand made, there will be an error in size and weight.
1 Lithiumion Batteries Required. (For an i9-9900K.)
Good hole punching quality, easy to carry, one shot and two-purpose, the two first parts are sweater together, and the three sections are hole punched together.

Other oddities
Translating company and product names literally.
be quiet! -> var tyst!
Windows 10 -> Fönster 10
Square Enix -> Fyrkanting Enix
Valve Software Wireless Steam Controller -> Ventilprogramvara trådlös ångkontroll
Threadripper -> Gängripper (With a Core i3 product image)
Joystick -> Glädje pinne
Raspberry Pi -> Hallon pi
Coffee Lake -> Kaffesjö
Light my fire -> Tänd min eld

Consistently translating rape (flower) with the word for the sexual assault

Using the argentinian flag for Sweden in the country selector.

Gąska

@Atazhaia AliExpress does the same, except I'm pretty sure they employ human translators. I've once found a turbojet scooter there.

Atazhaia

@Gąska Just the slight difference being that AliExpress is a cheap chinese site where that is expected, vs Amazon being one of the richest companies in the world.

boomzilla

@Gąska said in Interesting items from Amazon.se:

I've once found a turbojet scooter there.

Oh, Colin Furze sells there, eh?

Gąska

@Atazhaia I heard that Alibaba has capital value very close to Amazon. And that was a few years ago.

Applied Mediocrity

@Atazhaia said in Interesting items from Amazon.se:

12 half frying pans travel kit

Isn't it great? Put two half-pans together and cook smaller portions of two things at once!

Cunty cat white hairbrush

This should really be actual product

Fellatio chair (Exercise equipment)

Ditto.

Air force net, illegal construction

Illegal everywhere but /

dkf

@Atazhaia said in Interesting items from Amazon.se:

Airbrush with removable dildo

Removable? Well that's OK then. The other type would be odd.

hungrier

@dkf Some people pay extra for bespoke art produced with traditional, fixed-dildo airbrushes

dcon

@Gąska said in Interesting items from Amazon.se:

@Atazhaia I heard that Alibaba has capital value very close to Amazon. And that was a few years ago.

But Chinese companies will never be associated with anything but "cheap".

Gąska

@dcon that's what they used to say about Japanese not so long ago.

Atazhaia

More stuff
Sailing jacket with chin-pants fishing rain [business]suit ugly weather equipment
Mini stop-cock key
Bathrobe with collision
Destroy advert screen t-shirt
Different guns glasses gamers
AMD Semcover 64 (Yes, this is what it was "translated" to)
Fat boy scrape (Claw board)
Sonic knuckleles sloth (Action figures)
Connection cable mouldy

More descriptions
Frustrstration[sic] free packaging
Style: Fenced off (On a NAS)
You can read the digital to fart
Ray[name] tracing in realtime
Game-complete [car]drivers

hungrier

@Atazhaia said in Interesting items from Amazon.se:

Destroy advert screen t-shirt

I'll take 10