Miniature Golf WTF
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Friends and I run a competitive minigolf league on Fridays. I am keeper of the rules and scores, and I buy the trophy every year. A portion of the league points rules are below:
1 point for showing up to a game
1 point for the lowest score of the game. Half point for a tie (yes, even 3 or more way tie)
1 point for meeting or beating the nominal course par
1 point for meeting or beating the group average score (as determined by taking the mean of all player's total scores and rounding up to the next integer)
1 point awarded by consensus for the biggest pile of bullshit of the game. This may be split at .5 each (yes, even with 3 or more people involved in the bullshit). You may not win the bullshit point by complaining about bullshit being bullshit, Dan!
2 holes per course will be designated for Closest To The Pin. On these holes, the person closest to the pin at the end of the first stroke is awarded 1 full point. Hole-in-one automatically wins point. If more than one player gets a hole-in-one, full points are awarded to each.
-1 points for every $10 of property damage (and you're also paying for it, dick) or intentional injury. Not cool, man.Byes:
For every 3 games played by the league, every player will earn a bye nominally worth 2 points. These byes will be automatically applied to adjust scores as follows:
1) Byes will be preferentially applied to games where the player earned 0 points by not even showing up. Net +2 points.
2) If no 0-point games are available, they will replace the score of any 1-point game. Net +1 point.
3) If no 0 or 1 point games are available, the bye is forfeit.
4) Byes may not be applied to negative-scored games.
Byes will be automatically applied to 0-point games as they are earned. 1 point applications will not occur until the end of the league.
We have a couple who was on vacation this week, and decided they were going to play miniature golf on vacation and try to get points for that.
This is, of course, complete bullshit because no two minigolf courses generate even vaguely comparable scores, and as such they get to split the Bullshit point for this week.
This means their score for the week is 0.5 points each. By a strict constructionalist interpretation of the Bye rule, they screwed themselves out of 2 free points. And one of them screwed himself out of maintaining his points lead that way.
As they are the only two people who give a flying fuck about being competitive, I expect the complaining to be YUUUUUUUUUUUGE.
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Why's there a special rule saying that byes may not be applied to negative-scored games, if a strict interpretation of the bye rules would mean that they can only be applied to 0-point and 1-point games?
What's the point of the bullshit rule, anyway? That doesn't seem like something that would be rewarded by a point.
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@anotherusername Who knows, I was drunk when I wrote those.
As for the point of bullshit, normally it's used for all those happy minigolf moments like actually pulling off the impossible trick hole, or a hole in 1 by way of rolling through a flower bed, or insisting on playing from an 'impossible' out of bounds location, or playing an impossible lie that requires you to hump a statue of a giraffe, or accidentally kicking someone else's ball into the hole (elsewhere in the rules this is noted to count as ball movement for them, but not as a stroke - a hole-in-zero is technically possible if the assclowning is hueg).
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Yep. The bitching has begun. And they haven't figured out that it screws them out of using those Byes.
New rules:
As of 6/9/2018: -1 point for making me invent a new rule.As of 6/9/2018: Shit That Shouldn't Need To Be Said
You cannot substitute play on another course. No, not even for attendance points. This is competitive minigolf, not get-rewarded-for-playing minigolf.
No, you cannot pre-play or play later. No, not even for attendance points. See above.
This shit is all subject to change, asshats.
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@weng said in Miniature Golf WTF:
@anotherusername said in Miniature Golf WTF:
Why's there a special rule saying that byes may not be applied to negative-scored games, if a strict interpretation of the bye rules would mean that they can only be applied to 0-point and 1-point games?
Who knows, I was drunk when I wrote those.
Seems pretty straightforward to me: if you're enough of a dick to earn -2 points (-1 to counteract the 1 for showing up, and another -1 to actually put you in the negatives), you don't deserve to be able to counteract that with a bye.
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How many points for a round of mini Golf like this?
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@remi
Depends, is it a TDI with or without built in hackery?
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@unperverted-vixen said in Miniature Golf WTF:
@weng said in Miniature Golf WTF:
@anotherusername said in Miniature Golf WTF:
Why's there a special rule saying that byes may not be applied to negative-scored games, if a strict interpretation of the bye rules would mean that they can only be applied to 0-point and 1-point games?
Who knows, I was drunk when I wrote those.
Seems pretty straightforward to me: if you're enough of a dick to earn -2 points (-1 to counteract the 1 for showing up, and another -1 to actually put you in the negatives), you don't deserve to be able to counteract that with a bye.
But a strict interpretation of the bye rule (which is what prevents it from being used on a 0.5 point game) would also prevent it from being used on any other game that wasn't exactly 0 or 1 points.
Therefore, if you're taking a strict interpretation of the bye rule, the negative point rule is redundant.
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@weng said in Miniature Golf WTF:
a hole in 1 by way of rolling through a flower bed
Does a hole in one on the wrong hole count? (I managed that once: put the ball down at the start of hole 5 (or whatever it was), hit it hard to get it round a corner, and instead it bounced off the edge, fell onto hole 6, and rolled into the hole. However, I was denied any points by the other players because of it not being the hole I was supposed to go for.)
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@anotherusername I interpreted the negative point rule as clarifying, not normative.
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@gurth It almost assuredly would, yes.
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@gurth said in Miniature Golf WTF:
@weng said in Miniature Golf WTF:
a hole in 1 by way of rolling through a flower bed
Does a hole in one on the wrong hole count? (I managed that once: put the ball down at the start of hole 5 (or whatever it was), hit it hard to get it round a corner, and instead it bounced off the edge, fell onto hole 6, and rolled into the hole. However, I was denied any points by the other players because of it not being the hole I was supposed to go for.)
I saw a guy get a strike on the wrong bowling lane once when he slipped during the throw.
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@gurth said in Miniature Golf WTF:
@weng said in Miniature Golf WTF:
a hole in 1 by way of rolling through a flower bed
Does a hole in one on the wrong hole count? (I managed that once: put the ball down at the start of hole 5 (or whatever it was), hit it hard to get it round a corner, and instead it bounced off the edge, fell onto hole 6, and rolled into the hole. However, I was denied any points by the other players because of it not being the hole I was supposed to go for.)
Did you mark 0 for the next hole on your card then? I think it would've been justified.
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@hungrier Unfortunately not. They made me start again at the current hole with one shot against me, so the net effect was that my hole-in-one put me on a worse score than I’d have been in had the ball not bounced.
