The Clbuttic Mistake



  • Browsing through a web archive of some old computer club conversations, I ran across this sentence:

    "Apple made the clbuttic mistake of forcing out their visionary - I mean, look at what NeXT has been up to!"

    Hmm. "clbuttic".

    Google "clbuttic" - thousands of hits!

    There's a someone who call his car 'clbuttic'.

    There are "Clbuttic Steam Engine" message boards.

    Webster's dictionary - no help.

    Hmm. What can this be?

    HINT: People who make buttumptions about their regex scripts, will be embarbutted when they repeat this mbuttive mistake.



  • That's clbuttic!



  • What's impressive is that so many instances of this stupidity exist. Is everyone using the same defective "safe for kids" filter?

    This never should have pbutted QA....



  • I don't see why butt is so rude, while butt isn't.  I mean WTF kind of buttumption is that?



  • Ahah

    This kind of dumb replace is even sillier in french, which leads to in***sistant ***trived results. It's even more retarded when it's used in a chatbot that automatically kicks the user.

     In the same idea, I've already seen parents forcing their child to use unusual words for stuff related to bodily functions. Okay well, that's all the path down to newspeak. It does not take long to express rudeness in another form anyway.




  • public clbutt Censorware

    There are also some fun cross-linguistic issues, something which aikii sort of alluded to.  For instance, polite past-tense verbs in Japanese, in the traditional romanization, end in -mashita.  The potential problem here should be obvious to anyone who's dealt with censor filters on forums.  (Though there is an alternative romanization that spells it -masita...)

    And for that matter, I wonder if any Spanish censorware blocks people from saying 'computadora', since it has 'puta' in the middle...



  • @Albatross said:

    I don't see why butt is so rude, while butt isn't.  I mean WTF kind of buttumption is that?

    Personally, I have never understood why Americans are happy to talk about body parts but have such great issues with talking about donkeys.

    The best part is stupid censorware that is perfectly happy for you to say "arse", which leads to "arsumption" as a rather nifty workaround.



  • LMBUTTO



  • This thread reminded me of this classic bash.org quote:

    http://bash.org/?178890



  • Baha!





  • @djork said:

    :D

    buttbuttinate

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahawipe tearshahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....

    Imagine someone saying that!

     

    Thanks for making my day. 



  • I love these filters that work on parts of words as well. Blizzard has a wonderful filter for their World of Warcraft forums which includes words like rape (how this fits in with the normal curse words is beyond me). So you get g&*@! (grape), and it can make posts very hard to read.

    The "smarter" the word filter, the more it gets wrong. And they still don't know how to handle s h i t.
     


     



  • @djork said:

    :D

    buttbuttinate

     

    Only 141 resultst in google for that one.

     If you try to search for "mbuttive" you'll see how well this script works for some site...last from the first page with results. Warning: you'll see some strong language there.



  • @JamesKilton said:

    I love these filters that work on parts of words as well. Blizzard has a wonderful filter for their World of Warcraft forums which includes words like rape (how this fits in with the normal curse words is beyond me). So you get g&*@! (grape), and it can make posts very hard to read.

    Even better was when the name of a particular piece of equipment (the Bonescraper, I think?) fell under that rule.  Whenever discussion steered towards that item, things got really hard to understand.



  • @Thief^ said:

    This thread reminded me of this classic bash.org quote:

    http://bash.org/?178890



    That was great.



  • @djork said:

    :D

    buttbuttinate

    Hahaha I like that. Well actually I probably wouldn't - it sounds painful.
     

    Lame filters are such a pain. I remember the problems caused a few years ago for people in Scunthorpe... Of course the best implementation I've ever seen was on b3ta.com a while ago (not sure if it's still active) where words like f* were replaced with watermelon, etc.



  • I actually wrote a language parser for a message board once that "Farscaped" all chosen words.

    This way you could frelling talk about slapping your mivoks against some trelk till you went to hezmenna and back. 



  • Try searching for "buttociation", "buttigned", "buttembly", "glbutt", "pbuttive", "pbuttion", "clbutt", "carcbutt"... Even "Picasso" doesn't escape, and becomes "Picbutto".

     

     



  • also breast-for-tat, idenbreasty XD



  •  
     
    From here quoth I:
    There is another one with the breastle something like "How to hide your buttets and disappear" by a guy whose regular job is to actually find guys who try to do this (he never said, in his book, how successful he was at doing this).


  • @aikii said:

    In the same idea, I've already seen parents forcing their child to use unusual words for stuff related to bodily functions. Okay well, that's all the path down to newspeak. It does not take long to express rudeness in another form anyway.

     

    Oh I already do.  That girl has a nice rack == Woman has double-plus-good-woman-chest. 



  • @JamesKilton said:

    I love these filters that work on parts of words as well. Blizzard has a wonderful filter for their World of Warcraft forums which includes words like rape (how this fits in with the normal curse words is beyond me). So you get g&*@! (grape), and it can make posts very hard to read.

    The "smarter" the word filter, the more it gets wrong. And they still don't know how to handle s h i t. 

     

    Be glad you never played the mmo Maple Story. A prominent one along its many WTFs was its word filter. Basically, if it found something that looked like a curse word for it, it would

    • inform you with a modal(!) message box. Because telling you that you cursed if obviously important enough to block all your game controls until you read the message. While the game of course continues. Especially funny if you are finghting in the middle of a horde of monsters...
    • not asterisk' or replace the word in question, nonono, instead confiscate THE WHOLE LINE you just typed. Of course it gets removed from the chat text box and from the "recently typed lines" buffer too. Better clear all evidence of your undoubtly evil evil line...
    • not even tell you which word now actually WAS the curse. Good luck re-typing the whole sentence by hand numerous times, trying to find which word caused the block while your partner wonders why you don't answer because he didn't get any notification at all that you just tried to type something...

    Not to mention that it tries to be "smart" with detecting masked curse words too... The best part was when a new "document" item was introduced (for a quest). Just, you couldn't talk about it, because the word "document" would be blocked... Way to go...

    I like the word "buttumption" though... Shows pretty well IMO with which body part the developers propably thought that regex up...



  • @RayS said:

    Of course the best implementation I've ever seen was on b3ta.com a while ago (not sure if it's still active) where words like f* were replaced with watermelon, etc.



    Ahh.. yes.. zug.com does something similar on the Gab forums. From the How It Works page:

    @John Hargrave said:



    We block out swears using our patented Swearbottm, which turns naughty words into famous poets. We think it lends a touch of class.




  • @PSWorx said:

    @JamesKilton said:

    I love these filters that work on parts of words as well. Blizzard has a wonderful filter for their World of Warcraft forums which includes words like rape (how this fits in with the normal curse words is beyond me). So you get g&*@! (grape), and it can make posts very hard to read.

    The "smarter" the word filter, the more it gets wrong. And they still don't know how to handle s h i t.

     

    Be glad you never played the mmo Maple Story. A prominent one along its many WTFs was its word filter.

    Runescape was worse.  At one point, Andrew Gower introduced a profanity filter that was 100% effective at preventing swearing: any word you typed that was not on the list of approved words was automatically converted to the closest match on the list.

    *The "approved words" list was only about 1000 words long.

    *The list did not include the names of any of the users.

    *At the time, about 5% of the players were from Finland.  The list was English-only.

    That profanity filter didn't last long, but Runescape's still got the most aggressive profanity filter I've ever seen.  It targets words within words ([b]ass[/b]umption), words spread out across multiple words(thi[b]s hit[/b]), near misses (Con[b]fuc[/b]ian), URL-like constructs (...about [b]that.  Com[/b]munication...).  Some words are white-listed and never get censored (such as "that"), so the previous might get censored to "...about [b]that.  ***[/b]mmunication...".



  • We block out swears using our patented Swearbottm, which turns naughty words into famous poets. We think it lends a touch of class.

    More like a touch of Clbutt.



  • Here is a good one: link
    (Maybe I did mean crazy.)



  • The best one I've seen was in Star Wars Galaxies when everyone was walking around wishing each other a "Merry @#%$mas" the night before a certain holiday (no, it wasn't Fuckmas Eve).

    @PSWorx said:

    I like the word "buttumption" though... Shows pretty well IMO with which body part the developers propably thought that regex up...



    It sounds like a rimshot if you say it out loud, too.



  • @JamesKilton said:

    I love these filters that work on parts of words as well. Blizzard has a wonderful filter for their World of Warcraft forums which includes words like rape (how this fits in with the normal curse words is beyond me). So you get g&*@! (grape), and it can make posts very hard to read.

    The "smarter" the word filter, the more it gets wrong. And they still don't know how to handle s h i t.


     

     

    I remember reading about a few places that blocked out searches for the town of sCUNThorpe... 



  • @valerion said:

    I remember reading about a few places that blocked out searches for the town of sCUNThorpe... 

    AOL UK famously blocked UK users from putting Scunthorpe or Arsenal pretty much anywhere on their crappy systems (I think it included the account address page as well).



  • Here's a classic. The title is:

    What did the British Embbutty do for this British National Overseas pbuttport holder


     http://tinyurl.com/2fasys

    Sure enough, the article has clbuttic and breastles in it for fun too.

    Gentian



  • See also:

    loveual
    peapenis
    woodpenis
    pbuttage
    anbreastank
    supersbreastion



  • A couple more: 

    crapake
    "loveual harbuttment"
     



  • I was driving to DC this weekend and passed through Manassas and thought to myself "Manbuttas"



  • Here's another one:

    http://www.barossa-region.org/Australia/Another-Success-Story-of--Australian-Values.html

    "buttumption", "buttbuttinate", and even "consbreastutes".

     Also, "an buttumption", wtf? Shouldn't it be "a buttumption"??



  • @boh said:

    Here's another one:

    http://www.barossa-region.org/Australia/Another-Success-Story-of--Australian-Values.html

    "buttumption", "buttbuttinate", and even "consbreastutes".

     Also, "an buttumption", wtf? Shouldn't it be "a buttumption"??

     

    Well, originally it was "an assumption", which is correct. When the ass got regexp'd to oblivion you get "an buttumption." Given the rubbish code that swapped out the ass, it's never going to go back and correct for grammar and spelling!



  • Geez. What's so hard about adding a word-boundary to the front and back of the regex? Fixing it takes literally two characters. Four, if it's in a language without native regex support.



  • @Isuwen said:

    Geez. What's so hard about adding a
    word-boundary to the front and back of the regex? Fixing it takes
    literally two characters. Four, if it's in a language without native
    regex support.

    Well, you want to be able to catch things
    like dipshit and shithead as well, and regexes are pretty bad about
    having contextual replacement, without getting significantly more
    complicated and repetitive. Even something as simple as needing a space/punctuation on either side
    but not both can't be nicely represented without duplicating the
    expression for each boundary, as far as I know.

    It's hilarious that tdwtf has its own version of this error, with the ss->ß->B in today's url.
     



  • Just found this one in the terms and conditions on the website of We7, Ltd:


    "...all local rules regarding online conduct and acceptable content, Ltdluding laws regulating..."



  • Don't forget that for some reason, "tai" was a curse word. Finding that out was fun.

     

    So we had to talk about Cold Eye Ta ils and Capta ins and stuff. 



  • I recall in the late 80s, early 90s era of t'internet, people from Scunthorpe had a very hard time on some systems which had discovered keyword matching.

    I always used to think that the people who compiled swear lists had to be much dirtier than the people using one or two of them in ordinary conversation.



  • Here's something I spotted in my bank T&C's (hint: lawyers are very particular about the meanings of words)

    http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/5593/cahrz2.jpg



  • All this reminds me of an anecdote:

    Shortly after Dr. Samuel Johnson had published his Dictonary of the English Language (in 1755), a splendid British lady approached him and congratulated him on omitting all improper and coarse words from his dictionary.  "Ah," replied Dr. Johnson, "so you have been looking for them, Madam?"

     



  • @Bill Ahmadinejad said:

    Here is a good one: link
    (Maybe I did mean crazy.)

    the worst in the first search result that says "Howdy, I really need a way to mount a crapzu dog and i dont think i could make a cast. does anyone know where i can get a form? would it be possible to" 

    I don't want to mount the dog!  it's not in heat!

    </toilet_humor>



  • @petercc said:

    Here's something I spotted in my bank T&C's (hint: lawyers are very particular about the meanings of words)

    http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/5593/cahrz2.jpg

    Is the joke that the word 'us' in 'must' near the bottom is bold? Because that was an awful long read for such a relatively unfunny payoff... or am I missing something? 



  • Careful you might get buttbuttinated.

     

    I prefer Consbreastution myself.

     



     


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