Siemens Healthineers
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So, the healthcare department/subsidiary/whatever of Siemens decided to change its name to "Healthineers". Then, to celebrate this huge, world-changing leap in enabling customer success and to show their employees as well as the entire world how hip, trendy and modern they are, they threw a huge party... and it's the cringiest corporate propaganda event I've seen in a long time. Just watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UKp5YQXWwc
About 2 weeks ago I came to work to find a booklet titled "THE BOOK OF $COMPANY_NAME" on my desk, full of masturbatory bullshit about how transparent our decision making is and how we're all one big family enthusiastic about leveraging synergies, or some shit. I was pretty pissed off then. But this right here... this just made me appreciate how good I have it.
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Notice how literally nobody in the crowd is dancing? That's a hint....
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@RaceProUK said in Siemens Healthineers:
@blek said in Siemens Healthineers:
Healthineers
…no
Why is my first thought "mouseketeer?
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@Tsaukpaetra Yeah. I'm assuming that the lizard people who made this happen will now select a random sample of employees and have them flogged to improve morale.
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@blek What do you think they tossed in the trash can before coming up with "Healthineers".
"Medifolks". "Wellnesstographers".
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@blakeyrat I refuse to believe that actual human beings from this planet came up with that, so my guess is "Hrch''schgr".
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Aaaaaand guess what I just found. http://www.fiercemedicaldevices.com/story/siemens-plans-7000-layoffs-after-disappointing-healthcare-performance/2015-02-05
I wonder, was that literal shitshow a way to make people to quit on their own? Or did they already go through with the layoffs and use this as a warning (or a fuck you) to the employees who stayed?
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@blek The "disappointing healthcare performance" was those dancers in the blue and orange costumes.
... oh they meant financial performance.
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Trust me, I'm an Healtineer!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp8hvyjZWHs
(For reference, this video is very useful for making fun of moron "Software engineers")
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Siemens Healthineers:
Notice how literally nobody in the crowd is dancing? That's a hint....
Well, this is Germany, after all...
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the cringiest corporate propaganda event I've seen in a long time
I think this belongs here too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpPUUWp5sO4
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@anonymous234 Jesus fuck, I made it 15 seconds in and had to stop.
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@anonymous234 said in Siemens Healthineers:
I think this belongs here too:
....... so store management decided to torture their employees by making them put up with that shite, then humiliate them by taping it and putting it on you tube?
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Oh dear. Our HR is doing something similar (though we're not going to be treated with live actors or anything):
What's funny is that they used "Madagascar" as the attribution for the song's source.
Nobody remembers anything anymore apparently...
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How much do you think they wasted on this? I'm guessing at least $5k on the commission, $20k on the rigging, and $48k in lost productivity.
and the mandatory concert it threw for 44,000 employees – have drawn widespread scorn across the globe.
Dear god, I'm off by two orders of magnitude. Holy fuck.
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@Tsaukpaetra More likely the low level HR peon in charge of that email hadn't been born in 1993.
Fuck, we're letting people born in the late 90s vote now.
Also, thanks for earworm.
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@blek said in Siemens Healthineers:
I made it 15 seconds in and had to stop.
Too bad, really, because you missed the part where they had to go over to aisle 37 to get a bucket with which to carry that "tune".
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