📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™
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The most amusing of these that I get is the "We're gonna cancel your facebook account if you don't click this link!" ones...
It's humorous because I don't have a FaceBook account.
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That's a rather anti-Semitic Markov chain there…
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How Are You Doing?
Sorry for any inconvenience, I'm in a terrible situation. Am stranded here in Manila,Philippines since last night. I was beaten and robbed on my way to the hotel I stayed and my luggage is still in custody of the hotel management pending when I make payment on outstanding bills I owe. Am waiting for my colleague to send me money to get back home but he hasn't responded. please let me know if you can help and I will refund the money back to you as soon as I get back home. My return flight will be leaving soon, please let me know if I can count on you..
Thanks,
Mike
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It's humorous because I don't have a FaceBook account.
I do, and AFAIK I can't completely delete it. So I'd welcome one of those, if it were legitimate, of course.
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Huh. I was under the impression you can only suspend it, not delete it.
Oh well. I'll look into it. Thanks.
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no problem.
;-)
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Just received a spam email to my work mailbox. From my own company.
Unsubscribed from that shit.
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Google Yahoo?
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They know about semicolons, but omit an honest comma?
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Two commas, if you use the Oxford comma style of comma-ing
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I'm not coming to your party either way.
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I read your profile and wanted to reach out. I’m Rony Ross, Founder & Chairman of Panorama Software. We’ve developed a revolutionary Data Discovery & Visualization platform that has the ability to connect data, insights, and people across your entire organization.
Panorama helps companies grow revenues, reduce costs and improve operational performance through collaborative decision making on actionable data-driven insights. Our unique, intuitive and interactive data discovery experience enables you to quickly gain a visual understanding of the most relevant real-time information - all without needing a single data scientist.
Barf. Seriously, is there any actual meaning to any of the sentences in the second paragraph?
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Seriously, is there any actual meaning to any of the sentences in the second paragraph?
If you applied for a job, they'd probably ask you to FizzBuzz. But yes, while it's buzzword heavy, they're basically trying to replace old school business consultants with some fancy statistics packages.
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Seriously, is there any actual meaning to any of the sentences in the second paragraph?
I think they're basically describing a spreadsheet with charts
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It's probably Big Data. Meaning the charts are images in RAW to get the size up to a couple of hundred megabytes
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And your primary job is to convert them to CSV and cut them down enough so they can be opened in, and subsequently mangled by, Excel?
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Preferred: Proficient in FizzBuzz
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Cause: handing over money
Effect: diagnosis of cancer???
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This one's even better, because I can't read it
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Oh well, at least she'll live more days.
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This one's even better, because I can't read it
The french used isn't exactly challenging. The only part I'm not sure about is whether
argent
in that context is “silver” (the literal translation) or “money” (more abstract, more likely?) and I've not studied the language since I was 13…
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Well given that I know no French at all, it's pretty challenging for me. It may as well be @Ben_Lubar spewing Lojban or something
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I was looking through YouTube videos for a game I like and about 80% of them were spam, 5% were in English, and the rest were either some language I didn't understand or someone with a really strong accent.
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That is unfair, those clumps of letters at least look like words.
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LOL. @blakeyrat, I thought this one was kind of funny at
@ben_lubarlobjan's expense. Do you find it funny, too?
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Due to rising costs, I can no longer perform my humor analysis for free.
$5 and I'll tell you.
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Here are a couple for you:
http://frikarte.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Magni-Bronzebeard-5-monopoly-frikarte-300x156.jpg
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LOL. @blakeyrat, I thought this one was kind of funny at
@ben_lubarlobjan's expense. Do you find it funny, too?I feel obliged to point out that he did say
@blakeyrat said:If you wanna know if I found a post of yours funny, ask me.
Your own post, not somebody else's. Therefore,I can no longer perform my humor analysis for free.
is not necessarily inconsistent with his earlier statement. However, I would expect him to honor his previous offer to state his opinion of the humor of your own posts upon a simple request, although I would say a quid pro quo analysis of one of his posts would be reasonable to give in exchange.
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He never said that he would do or not do something if you asked him. He simply said that if you want to know if he found a post you made funny, he wanted you to ask him.
Am I funny, @blakeyrat?
fart
how about now?
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He never said that he would do or not do something if you asked him.
You are indeed correct. A reasonable person might infer a willingness to answer from "ask me," but he did not actually commit himself to providing an answer. In fact, that inference was so obvious to me that I did not even realize I was making an inference until you pointed out the lack of any commitment on his part.
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A reasonable person might infer a willingness to answer from "ask me," but he did not actually commit himself to providing an answer.
Yep. I had this thought, but I also knew that I'd never know unless I tried.
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The french used isn't exactly challenging.
... and contains a few @accaliaÂs.
Although French is not my primary language and it's been a while since I've had to speak it, the text feels like an automatic translation.
It's not @Âtranslator-atrocious, but definitely not production-quality French either.The only part I'm not sure about is whether
argent
in that context is “silver” (the literal translation) or “money” (more abstract, more likely?) and I've not studied the language since I was 13…In this context, it's money. "la somme d'argent" is "the monetary sum".
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Although French is not my primary language and it's been a while since I've had to speak it, the text feels like an automatic translation.
I'd have to say the vocabulary, at least, is pretty elementary. French is not my primary language, and although I've picked up a few words here and there, I've never even studied it, really. But even so, I was able to get the gist of that without having to resort to Google Translate or any other assistance.
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????
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@sloosecannon - Days Since Last Discourse Bug: -1
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Once upon a time, you could add a second like to that post when that happened.
Yes. Really. I'm not joking.
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Apparently I can get a new wife to try free for 30 days:
To: [REDACTED]
A beautiful Russian woman may be interested in meeting with you.
Your 30 day complimentary Russian-Bride details are listed below.
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Was there anything listed below?
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There was more, but it didn't add to the humor, so I didn't post it. And I can't now; I've already deleted it. Why, are you looking for a free bride?
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I was kinda hoping the email just ended after the words "listed below".
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Why, are you looking for a free bride?
It might be the only chance for the kind of person who's into Go and Lojban.
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I'm basically lojban's target audience.
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I'm basically lojban's target audience.
I have to say, this site has kind of put a damper on my enthusiasm for The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress.
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I was kinda hoping the email just ended after the words "listed below".
No, I'm pretty sure (but didn't actually read it) that the rest of it indicated that logging into their website was free for 30 days, but that wouldn't have been funny. Of all the spam I was deleting, this one caught my eye because the subject line was worded in a way that could be interpreted as meaning the brides were free.
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I assume that then whatever maintenance costs would be your responsibility
Nah, just return her after the trial period. [spoiler]Or before the PMS, whichever comes first.[/spoiler]