Star trek: the animated series has cool aliens (the blakeyrat is watching star trek thread)
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FTFY
Ha, but no. Dumb Tuvok, while more interesting than Tuvok Classic (?), isn't a good fit for the show.
Neelix is a better character than the writers thought, although perhaps that's the actor's work.
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Dumb Tuvok
Not sure I'm tracking with you. Tuvok seems as logical as any Vulcan. What am I missing?
(Caveat: It's been some years since I watched the series.)
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The Voyager Conspiracy: pretty good.
I liked that episode. IIRC all the in-universe conspiracy theories were based on fan theories floating around the Internet and fandom while the show was airing, too.
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Not sure I'm tracking with you. Tuvok seems as logical as any Vulcan. What am I missing?
That particular episode, he got blasted by some beam that damaged his brain or something. It made him not smart enough to be the tactical officer any more, but in compensation, he developed mad pastry cook skillz.
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IIRC all the in-universe conspiracy theories were based on fan theories
That's funny, if true. The idea's funny even if it isn't true.
Then we get to the Borg Kids episodes. Sigh. I'm not knocking them per se, and I'm not really going to discuss them in this post except to say things might have gone differently if, in the first one, Seven bitch-slapped First the first time he tried to get all macho.
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Considering how goofy and wacky they became later on, the first episode with a Pah-Wraith, where it possesses Keiko, is really freakin' effective.
EDIT: I like Rom, and I also like how Rom is the first one to figure out what the station sabotage is for.
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Pathfinder: it's sad HM Murdock didn't get sent to speech rehab at some point. Overall I liked the episode, though, especially that he decided to break the rules. That was very Kirkish, something the later series missed out on a lot. Having said that, breaking him and Troi out of mothballs was kind of meh.
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Fair Haven: ugh. Boring.
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Blink of an Eye: other than almost stealing a TOS episode title, this was pretty good. I objected to the way they carried their sped-up time stream with them into the ship, though. That was just dumb, but without doing that there was no way they were going to get on the ship. Other than that it was kinda neat, except for the Doctor having a kid.
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Virtuoso: come one, who didn't see that coming? If Voyager were in the real world, Janeway, instead of haranguing him when he wanted to resign his commission[1], would have dug into the archive and played half a dozen episodes from various sitcoms where the exact same thing happened.
[1] No. Just no. That was lame.
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Memorial: I liked the episode, but I found the idea of a memorial that psychically rapes you deeply offensive. I woulda dropped a photon torpedo on it.
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Tsunkatse: I was a little disappointed Seven didn't kill the Hirogen. I also thought the idea of Voyager and Delta Flyer beating the other ship a bit ridiculous, akin to trying to destroy the Death Star with snubfighters. It shouldn't have worked.
Having said that, the plot was a bit thin, but a bit more "Seven explores her humanity" was nice.
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Blink of an Eye was one of the best. I loved that episode.
Like I said, somewhere along the line, the writers finally started coming up with good stories. It was clearly too late though.
Right after this, they did what failing shows always do: bring in nominally-cute kids.
Hell, I just watched the one where they sent the EMH back to Earth (Jupiter, actually). Someone slipped Robert Beltran a mickey and he actually emoted. Damnedest thing.
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They probably brought in a stunt-face. I'm pretty sure Robert Beltran's was made out of a solid acrylic.
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They probably brought in a stunt-face. I'm pretty sure Robert Beltran's was made out of a solid acrylic.
Listen, if you heat acrylic up enough, it softens briefly. I will admit it was just one short scene.
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There's an episode where he gets stranded on a planet with Janeway for a few weeks, and IIRC there's a scene where it looks like he might have actually thought about perhaps smiling for a brief second.
http://youtu.be/ULZYkrzpUiw?t=1h9m10s
I love the Waterworld dig in that skit.
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There's an episode where he gets stranded on a planet with Janeway for a few weeks
That was fairly early on, if I'm thinking of the episode you're thinking of, where they got left behind because they caught a disease that meant they couldn't leave the planet or something.
Maybe they accidentally gave him real peyote.
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Skipping a few episodes to get to The Haunting of Deck Twelve. Significant portions of this are done as Neelix retelling a story of why they turned off all the power in the ship as they went into a nebula, told as a ghost story. The Borg Kidz are pretty funny because it's the first time they aren't acting like robots--they keep interrupting him with questions like "why didn't Seven remodulate her cranial transceiver and let the bridge know she was trapped, if communications were down" and getting shushed by the other ones.
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You can't skip, that's cheating. MUST WATCH EVERY SECOND.
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You can't skip, that's cheating. MUST WATCH EVERY SECOND.
I watched all the ones in between. I just haven't reported on them. I wanted to mention Haunting, because it was moderately comedic, and I didn't want to forget about it.
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Collective: and here it is, the point where a failing show brings on cute kids to boost ratings. The problem was, the kids they picked were all Robert Beltran's family members[1].
There were a few funny bits, like when Harry used a deck of cards as breadcrumbs. One of the Borg Kidz found him and held them up and said something like "you left these behind." Oh, Harry, you should have taped them down.
[1] That's not fair. "The Haunting of Deck Twelve" showed they could emote.
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Spirit Folk: just plain dumb. "We'll leave the holodeck on one program continuously, and random parts of the program stop working, leading the villagers to notice all the anachronisms, and they suddenly go all Salem
WitchSpiritTrialsJudgement.Although I think that a bunch of you, @snoofle and @weng in particular, must work/have worked for the company that made the holodeck.
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Ashes to Ashes: interesting idea, sort of: a "species" that "reproduces" by finding dead aliens and altering their DNA and then resurrecting them. Doesn't make a lick of sense from an evolutionary standpoint, especially not how they are apparenty smarter than the roadkill they rework. Who didn't guess the ending halfway through?
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Child's Play was spoiled by the episode description. Plus, the idea of reusing Icheb was silly: this is Star Trek, where changing your DNA makes your body change right then and there. Just find another kid and inject him with your Borg-killer DNA. Also, Miri was a ton better.
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Good Shepherd was kind of funny, although pretty predictable: kind of like if redshirts and storm troopers were on the same side.
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Live Fast and Prosper must have been written about the time people first started hearing of identity theft, and was the writers' desperate attempt to have a "ripped from the headlines!" story, because they half-forgot they weren't working for the evening news.
Having said that it was pretty funny in places, especially when Neelix tried to con the doctor.
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Muse was a PG-13 version of Steven King's Misery. It wasn't too bad, though, although once again, so much for the Prime Directive.
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Fury: dumb. Also literally the worst special effects in all 5 TV shows. 1930s Buck Rogers episodes where you can clearly tell the models are on string, and the smoke from the sparklers up the back of the ships drifts upwards in exactly the way smoke in space wouldn't had better SPFX.
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Life Line: I liked this. I felt bad for Zimmerman when he revealed the fate of the EMH Mark I. It must have taken a Starfleet Admiral to do something so stupid. I bet there's a rich vein to be tapped in "the EMHs take over the Federation in revenge" fanfic.
I have mixed feelings about them digging up Barclay and Troi's corpses, though, although it looked like Sirtis had had some kind of plastic surgery since the last episode, or maybe a lot of makeup or CGI, because she sort of looked younger.
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Unimatrix Zero Part 1 was pretty good. I was surprised the writers stopped licking the paint long enough to pull a switcheroo on the Borg Queen. The episode was good enough I probably didn't notice all of the plot holes, except for the part about the away team at the end still maintaining their individuality.
Oh, I know it's got to be because they used the nanovirus[1] on themselves, but it was weird not having that spoonfed to me.
[1] nanovirus? Regular virii are already nanoscale. Which brings me to a nano-rant: "isoton" is a stupid word and quite possibly the worst bit of treknobabble in the history of the entire franchise.
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Although I think that a bunch of you, @snoofle and @weng in particular, must work/have worked for the company that made the holodeck.
They're the reason it worked at all, despite PHBs getting in the way.
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1930s Buck Rogers episodes where you can clearly tell the models are on string, and the smoke from the sparklers up the back of the ships drifts upwards in exactly the way smoke in space wouldn't had better SPFX.
... huh?
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... huh?
The special effects are horrible. I was humorously comparing them negatively to really bad SPFX. Haven't you ever seen any ancient Buck Rogers episodes? They literally hung the models from wires, so they wobble as they move, and they lit sparklers to indicate exhaust, but the smoke rises. It's pretty funny.
Seriously, go back and watch the beginning of Fury when Kes blows up a corridor, and then skip to the point where she psychically throws people around with some kind of flash. The compositing was just awful.
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Unimatrix 0 part 2: I want to punch the next writer who uses the "it's your fault I'm killing all these people" trope. Kudos to Janeway for refusing to give in to it, but I wish she'd spit defiance in the queen's teeth a bit more.
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Imperfection: meh. Neelix trash-talking was pretty funny. But that was only one line. B'elanna had a good line about knowing what it's like to be stuck in sick bay. Of course she does--her temper lands here tehre repeatedly.
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The special effects are horrible. I was humorously comparing them negatively to really bad SPFX.
Ok but the sentence was gibberish.
Haven't you ever seen any ancient Buck Rogers episodes?
I've watched all of them.
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Ok but the sentence was gibberish.
Nonsense. I just strung a lot of clauses together. "in exactly the way X doesn't" is stolen right out of HHGTTG, too.
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Imperfection
Also, it's too bad they spent the effort coming up with an alien species that was only used for like one minute.
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DS9 Rapture: Sisko goes hunting for ancient artifacts. He comes across a stone wall in a cave, and vaporizes the fuck out of it with a phaser.
Best. Archaeologist. Ever.
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Although I think that a bunch of you, @snoofle and @weng in particular, must work/have worked for the company that made the holodeck.
Several of us have taken to wearing these at work:
http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/1135_star_trek_uniform_polos.jpg
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Nonsense.
Just nod and don't make eye contact when he becomes aggressively illiterate.
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Dude, it's missing at least one CRITICAL comma. Making it gibberish. Even with the comma it's mostly gibberish.
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Cool story bro.
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Dude, it's missing at least one CRITICAL comma. Making it gibberish. Even with the comma it's mostly gibberish.
I can't help it if your parser is substandard.
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I bet a compentent writer, possibly with a 2-episode timeframe, could have taken a bare, 3-sentence synopsis of the episode[spoiler],[/spoiler] and made a good story from that.
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DS9: The Darkness and the Light - this episode is really effective, one of the good ones. During the occupation, Kira set a bomb to take off a Gul-- years later, one of the survivors gets his revenge by bombing eveybody she cares about. And the bit at the end with O'Brien's child...
"You vaporized the entire east wing!"
Kira: "None of you belonged on Bajor. It wasn't your world! For 50 years you raped our planet and you killed our people and you took our land and you took the food out of our mouths and I don't care if you held a phaser in your hand of if you ironed shirts for a living! You were all guilty, and you were all legitimate targets!"That's why DS9 was so great, the "heroes" are/were just as bad as the villains. In this episode, the villain... uh... makes a really damned good point.
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So Sisko takes the Defiant on a week-long pleasure jaunt to the Trill homeworld, but when Worf and Garak need to infiltrate the Dominion to search for prisoners of war, they send a Runabout?
Feh.
