I was lost but now I am found





  • I'm assuming that the site is not actually NSFW and that is why you posted it, but I'm not checking from work.



  • @dhromed said:

     http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/

     

    I wonder if it works with NoScript

    Hmmm. I don't know how to call this one.

     



  • @locallunatic said:

    I'm assuming that the site is not actually NSFW and that is why you posted it, but I'm not checking from work.

    It's a bit sweary, but that's it. No pictures.



  • <html><body style='color:#000000; background:#ffffff; '>

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    <span style='color:#696969; '>&lt;!-- FOR THE CURIOUS: This site was made by @thebarrytone. Don't tell my mom. --></span>
    
    <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>title</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Motherfucking Website<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>title</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
    

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    <h1>This is a motherfucking website.</h1>
    <aside>And it's fucking perfect.</aside>
    </header>

        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Seriously, what the fuck else do you want?<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>You probably build websites and think your shit is special<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> You think your <span style='color:#008c00; '>13</span> megabyte paralax-ative home page is going to get you some fucking Awwward banner you can glue to the top corner of your site<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> You think your <span style='color:#008c00; '>40</span>-pound jQuery file and <span style='color:#008c00; '>83</span> polyfills give IE7 a boner because it finally has box-shadow<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Wrong, motherfucker<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Let me describe your perfect-ass website:<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>ul</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
            <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Shit's lightweight and loads fast<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
            <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Fits on all your shitty screens<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
            <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Looks the same in all your shitty browsers<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
            <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>The motherfucker's accessible to every asshole that visits your site<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
            <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Shit's legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just <span style='color:#008c00; '>5</span>mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee)<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>li</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>ul</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h3</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Well guess what, motherfucker:<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h3</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>You<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Are<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Over-designing<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Look at this shit<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> It's a motherfucking website<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added <span style='color:#008c00; '>80</span> kilobytes to your fucking site, and some motherfucker jabbing at it on their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Not to mention blind people will never see that shit, but they don't see any of your shitty shit<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>You never knew it, but this is your perfect website<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Here's why<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>It's fucking lightweight<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Did you seriously load <span style='color:#008c00; '>100</span>kb of jQuery UI just so you could animate the fucking background color of a div? You loaded all <span style='color:#008c00; '>7</span> fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so you could say "Hi<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span>" at <span style='color:#008c00; '>100</span>px height at the beginning of your site? You piece of shit<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>It's responsive<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>You dumbass<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> You thought you needed media queries to be responsive, but no<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Responsive means that it responds to whatever motherfucking screensize it's viewed on<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> This site doesn't care if you're on an iMac or a motherfucking Tamagotchi<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>It fucking works<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Look at this shit<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> You can read it ... that is, if you can read, motherfucker<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> It makes sense<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> It has motherfucking hierarchy<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> It's using HTML5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck's in this fucking site<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> That's semantics, motherfucker<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>It has content on the fucking screen<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Your site has three bylines and link to your dribbble account, but you spread it over <span style='color:#008c00; '>7</span> full screens and make me click some bobbing button to show me how cool the jQuery ScrollTo plugin is<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Cross-browser compatibility? Load this motherfucker in IE6<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> I fucking dare you<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>This is a website<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Look at it<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span>  You've never seen one before<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h2</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Like the pansy-ass who's never grown out his beard has no idea what his true natural state is, you have no fucking idea what a website is<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> All you have ever seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations of what should be text communicating a fucking message<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> This is a real, naked website<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> Look at it<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> It's fucking beautiful<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h3</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>h3</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>I'm not actually saying your shitty site should look like this<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> What I'm saying is that all the problems we have with websites are <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>strong</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>ones we create ourselves<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>strong</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>. Websites aren't broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, and accessible<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> You break them<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span> You son-of-a-bitch<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>p</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
        
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>blockquote</span><span style='color:#274796; '> </span><span style='color:#074726; '>cite</span><span style='color:#808030; '>=</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>"https://www.vitsoe.com/us/about/good-design"</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>"Good design is as little design as possible<span style='color:#008c00; '>.</span>"<span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>br</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
            - some German motherfucker
        <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>blockquote</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
    
    <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>script</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
      <span style='color:#808030; '>(</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>function</span><span style='color:#808030; '>(</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>s<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>o<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>g<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>r<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>a<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>m<span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>{</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>[</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>'GoogleAnalyticsObject'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>=</span>r<span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>[</span>r<span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>=</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>[</span>r<span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>||</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>function</span><span style='color:#808030; '>(</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>{</span>
      <span style='color:#808030; '>(</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>[</span>r<span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>q<span style='color:#808030; '>=</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>[</span>r<span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>q<span style='color:#808030; '>||</span><span style='color:#808030; '>[</span><span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>push<span style='color:#808030; '>(</span><span style='color:#797997; '>arguments</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>}</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>i<span style='color:#808030; '>[</span>r<span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>l<span style='color:#808030; '>=</span><span style='color:#008c00; '>1</span><span style='color:#808030; '>*</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>new</span> <span style='color:#797997; '>Date</span><span style='color:#808030; '>(</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>a<span style='color:#808030; '>=</span>s<span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>createElement<span style='color:#808030; '>(</span>o<span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>
      m<span style='color:#808030; '>=</span>s<span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>getElementsByTagName<span style='color:#808030; '>(</span>o<span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#808030; '>[</span><span style='color:#008c00; '>0</span><span style='color:#808030; '>]</span><span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>a<span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>async<span style='color:#808030; '>=</span><span style='color:#008c00; '>1</span><span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>a<span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>src<span style='color:#808030; '>=</span>g<span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>m<span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>parentNode<span style='color:#808030; '>.</span>insertBefore<span style='color:#808030; '>(</span>a<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>m<span style='color:#808030; '>)</span>
      <span style='color:#800080; '>}</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#808030; '>(</span>window<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span>document<span style='color:#808030; '>,</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>'script'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>'//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>'ga'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>
    
      ga<span style='color:#808030; '>(</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>'create'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span> <span style='color:#0000e6; '>'UA-45956659-1'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span> <span style='color:#0000e6; '>'motherfuckingwebsite.com'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>
      ga<span style='color:#808030; '>(</span><span style='color:#0000e6; '>'send'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>,</span> <span style='color:#0000e6; '>'pageview'</span><span style='color:#808030; '>)</span><span style='color:#800080; '>;</span>
    <span style='color:#a65700; '>&lt;/</span><span style='color:#800000; font-weight:bold; '>script</span><span style='color:#a65700; '>></span>
    

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  • @dhromed said:

    http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/

    They stole the idea from Star Trek.


     





  • That was good until he explained it at the end. I hope it wasn't there originally, but as a response to brain dead internet abuse.




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