Your own funny comments in code

hakunamatata

I have one

Surcharge = (sel.x.SurchargePercentage.HasValue ? ((sel.y.SalesPrice.Value * sel.y.TotalQty.Value) * (sel.x.SurchargePercentage.Value * 0.01m) ) : 0.0m) // m is for M & M . No not really. It is required to convert 0.01 from double to decimal

LB_

Some old code I wrote back when I was first learning C++:

string Escape(const string& ToEsc)
{
	string Return;
	for(unsigned long i = 0; i < ToEsc.length(); ++i)
	{
		char Check = ToEsc[i];
		if(Check == '|' || Check == ':' || Check == '{' || Check == '=' || Check == ';' || Check == ',' || Check == '}' || Check == '\\')
		{
			Return += '\\'; //Escape from Problem Island: The Amazing Backslash
		}
		Return += Check;
	}
	return(Return);
}

ben_lubar

@LB_ said:

return(Return);

Someone should invent case insensitive C++.

LB_

Nah, I'd prefer it to be case sensitive but you can't have more than one identifier that only differs in case.

ben_lubar

How about we compromise: keywords are case insensitive but get really upset when you're insensitive to their case.

Mikael_Svahnberg

Filed under type appropriation

cregox

how about pity pseudo code? this one is fresh out of my butt:

illusion = 0

async choice:
    result = 0.34 * random * illusion
    delay 8  # seconds
    return result

Life:
    born = 0.33 * random  # either 0 or 1
    happy = random
    dead = random
 
    while not dead:
        illusion = random  # perception
        luck = 0.33 * random * illusion
        happy = (born + luck + choice) > 0.5 # is the glass half full?
        dead = random

Yamikuronue

Mine are usually in commit messages (read bottom-up):

rc4

I once had a line flushed to the beginning of a Windows Installer log that said something to the effect of "this horrible script makes me want to claw my eyes out" but I removed it after testing in case someone actually saw it someday and said "that's disturbing" or "that's unprofessional."

I think the exact line might still exist on some systems that I used for testing, let me go check...

cregox

@rc4 said:

but I cowardly removed it after testing

fify

xaos

I ended a similar commit comment chain once with something like

3 compilers - 4 opinions of valid C++

ObjectMike

I haven't really had any amusing ones myself. I did have a coworker that had a comment in some 3rd party data structure parsing code along the lines of:

"I want to find the engineer responsible for this, tie him to a tree, pour honey on his head, and unleash a bear."

bb36e

if(err) {
Exception up = new Exception();
throw up; //heh
}

PleegWat

@mikehurley said:

"I want to find the engineer responsible for this, tie him to a tree, pour honey on his head, and unleash a [...]

I expected to read "swarm of bees" here.

accalia

try {
    [snip]
} catch (Exception up) {
    log(up);
    if (recoverable(up)){
        return recover(parm, meatball, sauce)
    }
    throw  up;
}

bb36e

'd

accalia

@bb36e said:

'd

how so? i had a sandwich and a barf joke in my example!

ben_lubar

@accalia said:

log(up);

RaceProUK

@accalia said:

```
try {
[snip]
} catch (Exception up) {
log(up);
if (recoverable(up)){
return recover(parm, meatball, sauce)
}
throw up;
}
What I'm puzzled by is what is recoverable with grated parmesan garnishing meatballs in a rich tomato sauce…

accalia

@RaceProUK said:

What I'm puzzled by is what is recoverable with grated parmesan garnishing meatballs in a rich tomato sauce…

hmm... well as one of my coworkers keeps saying about the lunches he brings to the office: IMAT

ben_lubar

I think it re-covers the meal with the arguments.

anotherusername

VBScript:

text = Left(Msg.Body, -(a < b) * a + -(a >= b) * b - 1) 'evaluate min(a, b) - 1 on hard mode: no such function as 'min'
                                                        'BUT SURE, YOU CAN TOTALLY MULTIPLY BY A BOOLEAN (True = -1)

brianw13a

PLC5 digital output O:10/2 Loud obnoxious horn

On a different occasion I was working on a mixed salad line and added picture of Dana Carvey to the panelview screen. He was visible when the broccoli chopper was running.