Even 140 characters can speak volumes

Speakerphone_Dude

@PedanticCurmudgeon said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:

Willful ignorance is über-trollism. And by joining the attackers you become an über-enabler. Shame on you and the next three generations in your family.

Amateur. Everyone knows the elite trolls start with a seemingly innocent statement that ignites a pages-long flamewar which continues long after the troll has stopped posting.

YOUR MOM IS AN AMATEUR

Speakerphone_Dude

@joe.edwards said:

@Ben L. said:
@ekolis said:
@Shinhan7 said:
So much discussion about salts and nobody has yet mentioned using slower hashing functions (like bcrypt) instead of MD5 and SHA1?

function crypt_password_sooper_secure(password)

{

sleep(500);

return crypt_password(password);

}
I can't see how this could possibly go wrong.

I cleverly reverse-engineered your sooper secure algorithm in order to optimize away the inefficiency:
function crypt_password_sooper_secure_optimized( password ) {
    try {
        sleep( 100 );
    } catch( ex ) { }
    try {
        sleep( 100 );
    } catch( ex ) { }
    try {
        sleep( 100 );
    } catch( ex ) { }
    try {
        sleep( 100 );
    } catch( ex ) { }
    return crypt_password( password );
}

Brilliant. Multitasking-friendly slow encryption! Although it can optimized to facilitate maintenance:

function crypt_password_sooper_secure_optimized2( password ) {
   int count;
   while(true)
   {
       sleep( 100 );
       try { 
            int threshold = 1/(count - 5);
            count++;
           } catch( ex ) {   
             break;            
           }    
   }
return crypt_password( password );
}

locallunatic

@Speakerphone Dude said:

function crypt_password_sooper_secure_optimized2( password ) {
   int count;
   while(true)
   {
       sleep( 100 );
       try { 
            int threshold = 1/(count - 5);
            count++;
           } catch( ex ) {   
             break;            
           }    
   }
return crypt_password( password );
}

You don't initialize count therefore you just optimized away most of the sleeps.

Speakerphone_Dude

@locallunatic said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:

function crypt_password_sooper_secure_optimized2( password ) {

int count = 0;

while(true)

{

sleep( 100 );

try {

int threshold = 1/(count - 5);

count++;

} catch( ex ) {

break;

}

}

return crypt_password( password );

}

You don't initialize count therefore you just optimized away most of the sleeps.

I think you forgot to do a get-latest before making your comment.

Ben L.

@Zecc said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:
@Shinhan7 said:
So much discussion about salts and nobody has yet mentioned using slower hashing functions (like bcrypt) instead of MD5 and SHA1?

Would bcrypt still be slower if everybody had multicore CPUs?
Assuming you can't parallelize rounds, yes I think it would.

If you’re brute forcing, you could try multiple passwords at the same time

blabber

Jokes aside, I do have a soft spot for bcrypt. And in case anybody here doesn't have a clue, here's a nice article explaining it: http://codahale.com/how-to-safely-store-a-password/

Speakerphone_Dude

@blabber said:

Jokes aside, I do have a soft spot for bcrypt. And in case anybody here doesn't have a clue, here's a nice article explaining it: http://codahale.com/how-to-safely-store-a-password/

BCRYPT PEDDLER ALERT

antiquarian

@Speakerphone Dude said:

@PedanticCurmudgeon said:
@Speakerphone Dude said:

Willful ignorance is über-trollism. And by joining the attackers you become an über-enabler. Shame on you and the next three generations in your family.

Amateur. Everyone knows the elite trolls start with a seemingly innocent statement that ignites a pages-long flamewar which continues long after the troll has stopped posting.

YOUR MOM IS AN AMATEUR

Too easy. BTW, have you noticed that the troll we're talking about hasn't posted since yesterday morning?

Speakerphone_Dude

@PedanticCurmudgeon said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:
@PedanticCurmudgeon said:
@Speakerphone Dude said:

Willful ignorance is über-trollism. And by joining the attackers you become an über-enabler. Shame on you and the next three generations in your family.

Amateur. Everyone knows the elite trolls start with a seemingly innocent statement that ignites a pages-long flamewar which continues long after the troll has stopped posting.

YOUR MOM IS AN AMATEUR
Too easy. BTW, have you noticed that the troll we're talking about hasn't posted since yesterday morning?

note: your mom is still an amateur

Lorne Kates

@Speakerphone Dude said:

note: your mom is still an amateur

And yours gets paid* for it.

* If you can call "getting paid" crawling on the floor, desperately trying to scoop up both her clothes and the quarters that are mockingly thrown at her, half-blind from the salty tears of shame and regret**

** the tears of shame and regret are because she remembered you were her child. She enjoyed the rest of it because she is, as both her Twitter feed and her business card declares, a wide-open slutpile.

Xyro

@Lorne Kates said:

Filed under: Everything decays into a Your Momma thread

:-/ I liked it better when the derails always stabilized towards violent video games that I never played.

Lorne Kates

@Xyro said:

@Lorne Kates said:
Filed under: Everything decays into a Your Momma thread
:-/ I liked it better when the derails always stabilized towards violent video games that I never played.

I would have, but I'm actually playing BioShock 1 now. Sorry about that.

Xyro

Oh? Tell me about this game. Do you like it? Is that the one with the scary AI face lady?

blakeyrat

@Xyro said:

Oh? Tell me about this game. Do you like it? Is that the one with the scary AI face lady?

Basically, but the setting changed to a underwater city and it's not as scary.

antiquarian

@Lorne Kates said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:
note: your mom is still an amateur

And yours gets paid* for it.
* If you can call "getting paid" crawling on the floor, desperately trying to scoop up both her clothes and the quarters that are mockingly thrown at her, half-blind from the salty tears of shame and regret**
** the tears of shame and regret are because she remembered you were her child. She enjoyed the rest of it because she is, as both her Twitter feed and her business card declares, a wide-open slutpile.

And the layup that I passed on because it was too easy gets turned into a tomahawk slam dunk. Nicely done.

+1

Speakerphone_Dude

@Lorne Kates said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:
note: your mom is still an amateur

And yours gets paid* for it.
* If you can call "getting paid" crawling on the floor, desperately trying to scoop up both her clothes and the quarters that are mockingly thrown at her, half-blind from the salty tears of shame and regret**
** the tears of shame and regret are because she remembered you were her child. She enjoyed the rest of it because she is, as both her Twitter feed and her business card declares, a wide-open slutpile.

This is libel. My mom is a virgin, not a whore.

dhromed

@Speakerphone Dude said:

This is libel. My mom is a virgin, not a whore.

You were adopted.

This explains so much.

Speakerphone_Dude

@dhromed said:

@Speakerphone Dude said:
This is libel. My mom is a virgin, not a whore.

You were adopted.
This explains so much.

It does not.