The languages everyone lies about FMKing
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@Gribnit said in The language everyone lies about loving:
Dunno, I am not seeing these non-users speak up. So far, about 20% of posts here love Rust, although only a slightly smaller number want to marry it.
Computer languages: Fuck, Marry, Kill
Fuck: Typescript...it lets me do some stuff that Java won't
Marry: Java...pays a lot of bills for me
Kill: Transact-SQL. Every single interaction I've had with SQLServer has resulted in rage
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@boomzilla said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
Computer languages: Fuck
Who do you think I am, @Tsaukpaetra?
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F: Rust. YES YES YES
M: C#. Less exciting but still good, does virtually everything I'll ever need, and people don't look at me funny when we're in public.
K: It's a long list but Kotlin is currently on top of it.
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Fuck: assembler. Not the thing you want to have a long term relationship with (maybe a bit crazy, but in a fun way), but lean, mean and does things nobody else will. In this analogy, targeting more than one ISA seems to translate into having an orgy, so that's a win-win.
Marry: C++. Pays the bills. We've long since put our differences behind us. Has been getting nicer and nicer over the years. Stable and reliable (but never boring).
Kill: Fortran. Whenever I run into it, it brings back old unpleasant memories, and inevitably, results in new ones too (and often in the most tedious way imaginable).
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F: None.
M: Meh.
K: OBJECTIVE-C
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Angry Developer Who Hates His Job ABC
A is for AWK.
B is for Bash scripts.
C is for C++.
D is for Delphi.
E is for ECMAScript.
F is for FORTRAN.
G is for Go.
H is for Haskell.
I is for Inform.
J is for JavaScript.
K is for Kotlin.
L is for LATEX.
M is for MATLAB.
N is for Nix.
O is for Objective C.
P is for Python.
Q is for QtScript.
R is for R.
S is for SAP.
T is for TTCN.
U is for UnrealScript.
V is for Visual Basic.
W is for WebAssembly.
X is for XSLT.
Y is for YAML.
Z is for Z shell scripts.
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F: some better language from the future, or something functional from academia. I loved ML but I'm too dumb to learn Haskell. Maybe I'll write a hobby Prolog interpreter one of these days.
M: C++. It's an arranged marriage kind of thing. We beat each other up once in a while (and there's some cheating with Python involved), but I've got bills to pay and scientific computations to run.
K: FORTRAN. Also, everyone who uses it is next.
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
K: It's a long list but Kotlin is currently on top of it.
Go?
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
AngryDeveloperWho Hates His JobAll those other words are redundant
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Fuck: TypeScript
Marry: C#
Kill: really, I can only kill 1? I want to kill so many. So many. Let's say Rust, just to spite
.
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@topspin said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
I loved ML but I'm too dumb to learn Haskell.
F# sounds like something up your alley.
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Kill: HipsterScript
But only after slowly murdering its children, starting with Angular.
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Fuck: Current Java
Marry: Industry Java
Kill: C
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Fuck: Rust. She's kinda complicated but smart and attractive.
Marry: Perl. Dirty enough to make it feel like a series of little flings, boring enough to make it last.
Kill: JavaScript. I'll be happy to use Web 1.0 for however long y'all need at the drawing board to do it properly this time.
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@LaoC
JavaScript was a Web 1.0 technology.
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@Arantor but it took “Web 2.0” to turn it from 3 line scripts to “we’ll write office in it”.
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@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC
JavaScript was a Web 1.0 technology.OK, Web 1.0 without
<marquee>emulation.
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@LaoC said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC
JavaScript was a Web 1.0 technology.OK, Web 1.0 without
<marquee>emulation.But with
<blink>?[EDIT] Actually, I'm just imagining what we'd have if we allowed
<marquee>and<blink>andfa-spin...
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC
JavaScript was a Web 1.0 technology.OK, Web 1.0 without
<marquee>emulation.But with
<blink>?And maybe we add <fa-spin> and hookers. You know what, hold the <fa-spin>.
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I just remembered Make exists. Should I swap out MATLAB for Make? I really cannot decide.
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@Gustav The only thing worse than make is all of the other options in the same problem domain.
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@PleegWat said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Gustav The only thing worse than make is all of the other options in the same problem domain.
Notably, the best solution, which is Cmake, gives you Ebola cancer through the air.
(Better ones don’t have adoption.)
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@PleegWat not really. The OCaml community ditched Make in favor of Dune and things are much, much better now.
Who would have thought a general solution that works with all languages is bad for any specific language.
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@Gustav Fewer people who should never have tried programming do it in make compared to matlab. So keep matlab.
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
Make in favor of Dune and things are much, much better now.
But do they have sandworms? Alternatively, "but I bet the process is a bit more gritty now."
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@Benjamin-Hall they told all the old coders who didn't want to switch over to GTFO.
Edit: wait, that's different book.
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Benjamin-Hall they told all the old coders who didn't want to switch over to GTFO.
I was punning on the name Dune.
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@Benjamin-Hall I tried too but I failed my Knowledge (oldfag scifi) roll.
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@error I couldn't see anything, and when I clicked to open the image in a new tab, Firefox opened but closed the tab right back.
So I saved the decoded base64 data to a local .svg file and opened it Firefox. It blinked. Once.
Opening said file in Edge works as
expecteddesired.
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC
JavaScript was a Web 1.0 technology.OK, Web 1.0 without
<marquee>emulation.But with
<blink>?[EDIT] Actually, I'm just imagining what we'd have if we allowed
<marquee>and<blink>andfa-spin...Everybody should have implemented those. Perhaps it would have kept enough people from even looking up how JS works to keep them below the critical mass.
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@Zecc said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@error I couldn't see anything, and when I clicked to open the image in a new tab, Firefox opened but closed the tab right back.
So I saved the decoded base64 data to a local .svg file and opened it Firefox. It blinked. Once.
Opening said file in Edge works as
expecteddesired. Same here. MS were the ones who kept supporting the blinking-marqueeing-fidgeting shit even after Mozilla dumped it, right?
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@LaoC I never tried nesting
<marquee>. There was no point in nesting<blink>. Nesting elements withfa-spinwas awesome, and rapidly banned by
...
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
There was no point in nesting <blink>.
I figure there is as much point as there is in composing sine waves, but I don't recall <blink> ever having frequency and/or phase attributes.
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@Zecc and even if it did it'd work differently on IE.
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@LaoC I never tried nesting
<marquee>. There was no point in nesting<blink>. Nesting elements withfa-spinwas awesome, and rapidly banned by...Nesting marquee is awesome if you set different directions on the nesting levels. Left-to-right, right-to-left, up-to-down and down-to-up, all nested in different permutations can be pretty trippy.
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@Arantor The fa-spin orrery someone did here was awesome, though the rotation rates were wrong of course. But when a failure to close tags leaked the spin over the rest of the page, it just had to be banned. HTML is even more of a hellstew than PHP.
But only just.
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@dkf technically, PHP is a strict superset of HTML.
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor The fa-spin orrery someone did here was awesome, though the rotation rates were wrong of course. But when a failure to close tags leaked the spin over the rest of the page, it just had to be banned. HTML is even more of a hellstew than PHP.
But only just.
I remember, I was amazed, impressed and had to fight to contain that little bit of sick in the back of my throat, all at the same time.
But of course, fucking with Discourse was a hobby and an art form all in itself.
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@dkf technically, PHP is a strict superset of HTML.
I’m not sure I’d give them that distinction. PHP tags normally never leave the server owing to server-side pre-processing, but if the PHP tags do make it to the browser, they’re treated as comments, and ignored as having no extra semantic meaning.
Conversely, everything outside of the PHP tags is ignored by the PHP pre processor as “just shove it into the output stream” so you can’t call it “handled” on that side either.
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@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
Conversely, everything outside of the PHP tags is ignored by the PHP pre processor as “just shove it into the output stream” so you can’t call it “handled” on that side either.
I had this horrible/awesome vision of using PHP as a preprocessor for another language, such as Rust...
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@dkf Facebook sorta had that idea but swerved to make Hack instead.
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
Conversely, everything outside of the PHP tags is ignored by the PHP pre processor as “just shove it into the output stream” so you can’t call it “handled” on that side either.
I had this horrible/awesome vision of using PHP as a preprocessor for another language
I've seen people preprocess C++ with PHP.
such as Rust...
That would be quite pointless. Rust already has a perfectly fine preprocessing functionality in form of procedural macros.
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
Conversely, everything outside of the PHP tags is ignored by the PHP pre processor as “just shove it into the output stream” so you can’t call it “handled” on that side either.
I had this horrible/awesome vision of using PHP as a preprocessor for another language
I've seen people preprocess C++ with PHP.
such as Rust...
That would be quite pointless. Rust already has a perfectly fine preprocessing functionality in form of procedural macros.
But, technically PHP is a strict superset of Rust.
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@Gribnit PHP is also a strict superset of PHP, given its fractal nature.
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@Zecc said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Gribnit PHP is also a strict superset of PHP, given its fractal nature.
Not true if you're using it with newer versions, you aren't fractalling old versions that way.
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@Gustav said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Benjamin-Hall I tried too but I failed my Knowledge (oldfag scifi) roll.
Dune is third wave, at least, son. Doc Smith is oldfag.
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@dkf said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
@Arantor said in The languages everyone lies about FMKing:
Conversely, everything outside of the PHP tags is ignored by the PHP pre processor as “just shove it into the output stream” so you can’t call it “handled” on that side either.
I had this horrible/awesome vision of using PHP as a preprocessor for another language, such as Rust...
Congratulations, you have now had Knuth's worst idea.
