:confused: The Official Dad Jokes Thread™
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Because isn't it about time we had one?
Whaddaya find in a bag of Skritt Shinies? Skrittles.
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Shiny Skittles
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Is this a "dad joke"? I thought a "dad joke" was like the classic "Oh you're Hungry? Hi Hungry, I'm Daddy".
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Is this a "dad joke"?
As a dad, who tested this out on his teenage son at lunch time, I can assure you it is indubitably a dad joke.
I thought a "dad joke" was like the classic "Oh you're Hungry? Hi Hungry, I'm Daddy".
Obviously "Skrittles" is the punchline of a dad joke.
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A dad joke is a specific kind of bad joke, and GW2 doesn't seem old enough to be a dad game. Although I guess if a dad overheard some kids talking about Skritt Shinies, he might come up with that joke. Nevermind. Carry on.
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I thought a "dad joke" was like the classic "Oh you're Hungry? Hi Hungry, I'm Daddy".
I am now writing a statement legally allowing any of my potential offspring to finish me off using my own crowbar if I ever make a joke like that at them.
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You think that's bad? I remember when I was a kid, someone's dad's name was Joe and whenever he heard kids saying that they were joking he'd say, "No. I'm Joe King!"
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A dad joke is a specific kind of bad joke, and GW2 doesn't seem old enough to be a dad game. Although I guess if a dad overheard some kids talking about Skritt Shinies, he might come up with that joke. Nevermind. Carry on.
Yes, that first sentence is true, but I am considering the form of the joke, not the subject matter. Plus, like I said, I'm a dad and I came up with that joke, and my son banged his head against a wall when I graced him with it, so I feel qualified to say it is one.
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I am now writing a statement legally allowing any of my potential offspring to finish me off using my own crowbar if I ever make a joke like that at them.
HAHAHAHAHA.
My dad used that one on me once, when I was about five. You can say what you want about it, but it taught me to think about what I was saying--the next time I was hungry, I said I wanted something to eat.
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I remember when I was a kid, someone's dad's name was Joe and whenever he heard kids saying that they were joking he'd say, "No. I'm Joe King!"
I had a friend in high school who actually was named Joe King. He was in the same homeroom with Holly don't-forget-to-say-her-middle-name-Anne Wood and I swear I'm not making any of that up.
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and my son banged his head against a wall when I graced him with it
That's a sign of quality. It's a Dad Joke!
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My oldest is 4 and that age comes with a lot of clumsiness. When he falls and hurts his knee:
"Daddy, I hurt my knee."
"Which knee, son? Your left knee, your right knee or your wienie?"
Which always causes him to laugh and forget that he bumped his knee.
Total dad joke, recycled from my dad.
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Oh you're Hungry? Hi Hungry
We use this regularly in my household. Mainly because my youngest is constantly complaining about being hungry (which she probably wouldn't be if she was less picky with her meals), and it's a reliable way to wind her up.
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I love the parody twitters that have come out of the most recent Star Wars, including "Dad Joke Han Solo":
https://twitter.com/dadjokehansolo/status/704786564971438080
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I didn't really get Dad Jokes until I turned 44.
Really, it's just like being 43 only now I'm past my prime.
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We use this regularly in my household. Mainly because my youngest is constantly complaining about being hungry (which she probably wouldn't be if she was less picky with her meals), and it's a reliable way to wind her up.
I do the same thing with my oldest, for the same reason.
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My dad's got no nose.
He smells terrible.
Also his nightmarish visage terrifies all the small children in the area, but that's not important right now.
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Was cooking up dinner tonight, which included some Spam. My son happens to love the Monty Python Spanish Inquisition skits, and I heard him in the other room saying to his mother, "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
To which I replied, "No one expects the Spammish Inquisition." He thought that was pretty funny.
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he'd say, "No. I'm Joe King!"
I actually went to school with someone called Joe King. I was glad that I didn't have the same name.
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Another dad joke:
Son: "Can I have a cereal bar?"
Me: "You didn't say the magic word."
Son: "Please?"
Me: "Nope. It is 'abracadabra', but nice try."He thought it was hilarious.
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@anotherusername this classic joke can't be translated to my language which uses different verbs for "am" and "am".
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@Fox I know a person who uses the handle Moth and (although she's actually lovely) roleplays a persona of a kidney-eating mirror demon.
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@CarrieVS said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
kidney-eating mirror demon
No offense to her, but if I were a mirror-demon I'd pick something tastier than kidney to be my main source of sustenance.
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@CarrieVS said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
@Fox I know a person who uses the handle
MothMorbiuswilters and (although she's actually lovely) roleplays a persona of a kidney-eating mirror demon.TDWTFTFY
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@Onyx I heard spleens are tasty.
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This is what happens when you enable cookies on Windows...
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Our cookies are baked with only the finest all natural sunlight. We don't use any of those harmful oven coils to bake our cookies, our sunlight comes from a 100% authentic and natural local source.
Buy now: $50.00 per cookie.
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@Lathun but is it ORGANIC sunlight?
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@DoctorJones Our cookies are half-baked!
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
guaranteed chemical free
Light isn't a chemical, so... duh? :P
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@Jaloopa I heard your sunlight contains high quantities of gamma radiation.
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
@Onyx said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
but is it ORGANIC sunlight?
guaranteed chemical free
No they're not. The plastic in the car releases lots of nice tasty chemicals. (That require other chemicals to wipe off the windshield)
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
@Jaloopa said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
guaranteed chemical free
FTFY
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Time for more Dad Jokes:
"Son, if you don't stop it with $OBJECT, I will put it where you will always have it."
"Up my bottom?"
"That's right son."
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@Polygeekery
I feel like, if that's your definition of a dad joke, you may be the exception that proves the usefulness of Child Services
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@izzion I am truly surprised that they have not been here yet.
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@Yamikuronue said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
I love the parody twitters that have come out of the most recent Star Wars, including "Dad Joke Han Solo":
https://twitter.com/dadjokehansolo/status/704786564971438080@anotherusername said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
Is this a "dad joke"? I thought a "dad joke" was like the classic "Oh you're Hungry? Hi Hungry, I'm Daddy".
The canonical version IMO:
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Also, from the twitter account that keeps on giving:
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@Yamikuronue said in The Official Dad Jokes Thread™:
I love the parody twitters that have come out of the most recent Star Wars
One of my favorite of those is @VeryLonelyLuke.
I also follow @XplodingUnicorn, while he doesn't post many dad jokes, he does post many fun dad stories.
My world collapsed last week when I found out they are the same person:
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@pydsigner
This one has bonus points for the Harisson Ford picture:https://mobile.twitter.com/dadjokehansolo/status/816829803257073664
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@anotherusername misses 'Get out off of my lawn'...
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@cabrito that's not really a dad-ism, it's more of a crotchety old empty nester-ism. Dads are more likely to be happy if the kids will just take their roughhousing outside, onto the lawn...