Dumb things being crowdfunded.
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I think we need a topic for this, because it is rare that a day goes by that I do not think, "What kind of idiot would invent that, and then how do they find even bigger idiots to give them money?"
As example #1, we find a IoT sneaker with an 8 hour battery life:
@blek said in Internet of shit:
Internet of shit device you can use to step in real shit!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/vixole-matrix-world-s-first-customizable-e-sneaker-game-shoes#/
Why? Why would anyone make such a thing? I go through 2-3 pairs of sneakers a year. The ones I have had, I have never needed to worry about battery life on them, and I have never once wished that I could take a picture of something with my phone and display it on my shoes where it looked like some shitty ASCII art.
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@Polygeekery The display on those shoes looks about perfect for rendering the shoe's current battery charge percentage.
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@mott555 Which would drain the batteries even more quickly, that amuses me.
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Hey, how about a self-filling water bottle that cannot possibly work without violating lots of laws of physics? Indiegogo has you covered!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/fontus-the-self-filling-water-bottles-sport-camping#/
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@Polygeekery And we have another OneBox fail...
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@Polygeekery Dude, you're out of touch with sneaker culture. It's one of those things some people out in the big city do.
http://specials-images.forbesimg.com/imageserve/2a4b75d09530435c9b6c9a013d2865b3/960x0.jpg?fit=scale
https://www.hautelookcdn.com/resizer/434x650/products/S0646023/large/4721546.jpg
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I could probably add to this by saying I recently just kickstarted a pillow...
but it's a pillow by the guys who make Purple mattresses and I figured since I was looking at one of those to possibly replace my mattress anyway, plus all my current pillows are 10+ years old, I could use a new one anyway, I figured it'd be a good way to test the material they use to see if I like it enough to go for the full mattress.
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@Polygeekery E_NO_REPRO It one-boxed for me.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Why? Why would anyone make such a thing? I go through 2-3 pairs of sneakers a year. The ones I have had, I have never needed to worry about battery life on them, and I have never once wished that I could take a picture of something with my phone and display it on my shoes where it looked like some shitty ASCII art.
This actually might be cool if it worked based on kinetic energy of your walking. Who the fuck wants battery in their shoes?
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@mott555 I should have taken a screenshot. It first displayed the sneakers again, so I thought I had screwed up the copy-paste of the URL, so I went to edit it and saw that it was the correct URL but OneBox was displaying the wrong item. Refreshing the page fixed it.
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@Polygeekery Seems legit
This device was designed to capture the moisture contented in the air, condense it and store it as safe drinking water.
It just doesn't mention how long it would take for it to fill itself.
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I think @fox started a thread exactly like this before. Or he at least posted a lot of furry kickstarters in an existing one.
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@aliceif that hurts.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Why? Why would anyone make such a thing? I go through 2-3 pairs of sneakers a year.
How in the world do you manage that? Even at the harshest times of my adult life (childhood doesn't count as you're constantly outgrowing shoes anyway) I only managed to go through about one pair per year. The ones I have now, I've had for over 5 years now and they're only showing moderate amounts of wear; they should be good for another 3 at least!
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@fbmac said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery Seems legit
This device was designed to capture the moisture contented in the air, condense it and store it as safe drinking water.
It just doesn't mention how long it would take for it to fill itself.
Put it on Tatooine and you could have an annual moisture harvest.
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@fbmac said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery Seems legit
This device was designed to capture the moisture contented in the air, condense it and store it as safe drinking water.
It just doesn't mention how long it would take for it to fill itself.
Roughly forever.
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Here's a 19 dollar notebook.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/comp/comp?ref=popular
The project description is unbelievable. They wrote so many words about a fucking notebook. With a video and macro shots and a section for "features". Of a notebook. And a picture of a 90 year old hipster gazing at a notebook. They're rasing almost 80 thousand dollars for a notebook.
Oh, and if you buy 3 or 10, you get the ugliest bag anyone has ever made as a bonus.
I need a smoke...
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@masonwheeler said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
How in the world do you manage that? Even at the harshest times of my adult life (childhood doesn't count as you're constantly outgrowing shoes anyway) I only managed to go through about one pair per year. The ones I have now, I've had for over 5 years now and they're only showing moderate amounts of wear; they should be good for another 3 at least!
Hiking, walking for exercise, the gym, etc. I generally get rid of them when the tread is 75% gone on the bottom.
I have had back issues in my life. My doctor pointed out that wearing shoes too long can contribute to back pain. He seems to be right. Now I get rid of shoes much more quickly.
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@blek also nice , nodebb
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@aliceif that hurts.
Here we go!
https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/19566/3-dimensional-phone-charging-dock-kickstarter/
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@Polygeekery Check out SAS. They're expensive (the ones I got over 5 years ago were around $150/pair) but they last for-freaking-ever (that $150 ends up looking like a real bargain, amortized over that many years) and they're about the most comfortable thing you'll ever put on your feet that aren't house slippers.
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@Polygeekery inb4 people losing their legs due to exploding batteries
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@Polygeekery I'm happy that the people who funded this lost their money.
Consider it a tax on stupidity.
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@bb36e said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery inb4 people losing their legs due to exploring batteries
Your sentence is ambiguous. Are the people exploring the batteries or the batteries exploring the people?
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@bb36e said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery inb4 people losing their legs due to exploring batteries
Only if Samsung makes them.
And if Apple comes out with one, you won't be able to use them without having iTunes installed on everything.
And if Microsoft comes out with one, you will fall and break all your limbs a mile into your three-mile run because it decided to shut down for updates without any warning.
And if Canonical makes one, you'll be doing stuff like
sudo apt-get install lib-shoelace-3 shoelace-3 shoelace3-dev shoelace3-cli-tools
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Hey, how about a self-filling water bottle that cannot possibly work without violating lots of laws of physics? Indiegogo has you covered!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/fontus-the-self-filling-water-bottles-sport-camping#/
1000% funded? Jesus, I wish I had looser morals so I could sell this type of bullshit and not feel bad about it.
I could totally make crystal therapy sound legit, it would be easy.
Ooh, look. Oneboxing is still DOSing with every keystroke
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@mott555 said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
And if Microsoft comes out with one, you will fall and break all your limbs a mile into your three-mile run because it decided to shut down for updates without any warning.
No, Microsoft would release one three years too late, that has lots of really nice features the others are missing but nobody would buy it because 1) it's Micro$oft and 2) the store only has 3 pairs of laces
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
notebook
I read a bit of the description
With all the new advances in the fields of papermaking, printing, and binding since the 1800s, I was interested in what it would be like to create a notebook that uses the new printing and binding technologies and the highest quality materials possible, while still maintaining the nostalgic pattern that we all know and love.
What does this mean? Does he think modern notebooks aren't produced using modern technology, or what?
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This one's not getting crowdfunded, but it's pretty funny: .https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-anti-gravity-device-project-technology#/
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Here's a 19 dollar notebook.
I watched that entire video.
Do people still write novels and stories in notebooks?? Is that still a thing?
Hell, I still use notebooks. There is almost always at least a legal pad on my desk and there is always one in my laptop bag. But they are just utilitarian. I could not care less about quality, just so long as they accept ink. No way in hell I could justify spending $19 on something that I can easily purchase something just as useful for $1.99.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Hey, how about a self-filling water bottle that cannot possibly work without violating lots of laws of physics? Indiegogo has you covered!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/fontus-the-self-filling-water-bottles-sport-camping#/
So, it's a miniature AC that relies on the condensation (or 'sweat' effect) to create copious amounts of drinkable water.
And you're powering it with........ A solar panel.
Right.
OK, maybe this would work on a LARGE scale, like, for a house or something? Maybe?
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Hey! I have a new product and I'm looking for
crudcrowd founding. Its a product with and App that will be marketed as iWipe® with the slogan If you are full of it, this is just what you need...The product is smart toilet paper. Each sheet is a composite of photo sensitive, ultra soft tissue sandwiching the latest in bendy batteries and wifi enabled smart circuitry. It can detect how dirty the tissue is, and by inference how clean your arse is.
The App will provide useful and informative statistics about usage: Average number of sheets used per session; efficiency of each sheet (version 2 will be "gamified" allowing you compete for the daily Quickest, cleanest arse award. Allowing you to find the best comprise between sheet usage and time etc). The App will also keep track of the usage and order replacements without you having to get up (Other manufactures are interested in developing an automated roll replacement robot to take advantage of this feature.)
Just a heads up: Version 2 will also include DNA sampling so that you can personalise this for yourself and household / business. For those worried about the runaway cost of small expenses, Version 3 will allow you to limit the number of sheets used per session. For the sake of sanitation this limit will be based on individual usage history, however, a maximum can be specified (in terms of average + n sheets). When exceeded, as a reminder, the sheet in use can deliver a mild electric shock of increase intensity and duration for each subsequent sheet.
Investors: This product is expected to sweep the country and wipe out any residual opposition. Whilst the App is free, each roll is expected to sale for $5,000.00. So get in through the basement and clean up.
Filed Under:
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No list would be complete without Solar Freakin' Roadways.
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@Jaloopa said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
No, Microsoft would release one three years too late, that
hasis missing a lots of really nice features the othersare missinghave but nobody would buy it because 1) it's Micro$oft and 2) the store only has 3 pairs of laces that are too shortFTFY
File Under: when MS came out with WinPhone 7, you couldn't even transfer files using Bluetooth, and copy&paste was nowhere to be found.
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@TimeBandit said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
copy&paste was nowhere to be found
A year after the iPhone got it (which itself was far too late, admittedly)
@TimeBandit said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
you couldn't even transfer files using Bluetooth
Can you do that on iphones now?
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@TimeBandit said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
and copy&paste was nowhere to be found
To be fair, it took iOS forever to implement that too. IIRC only Android had basic clipboard functionality available right from the start.
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@loose Imagine the IoT botnet you could run if each sheet of smart TP had its own IPv6 address.
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@blek said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
The project description is unbelievable.
That is the single most hipster thing I have ever seen.
A composition notebook that lies flat? Sure, I'd order a crate of those. But otherwise it's a goddamn notebook. Six months later you've filled it and probably thrown it away. Who the fuck cares?
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@cartman82 said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Why? Why would anyone make such a thing? I go through 2-3 pairs of sneakers a year. The ones I have had, I have never needed to worry about battery life on them, and I have never once wished that I could take a picture of something with my phone and display it on my shoes where it looked like some shitty ASCII art.
This actually might be cool if it worked based on kinetic energy of your walking. Who the fuck wants battery in their shoes?
TSA says:
I'm sorry, but you'll have to remove your shoes. Not just for the scan, but for the flight; we've just been alerted that Samsung used the wrong battery stash.
/me scrolls down
@bb36e said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@Polygeekery inb4 people losing their legs due to exploding batteries
Aw.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Do people still write novels and stories in notebooks?? Is that still a thing?
Yeah. Laptops can be too tempting for some people; knowing facebook is a click away, they can't help themselves. So they grab a notebook, head to a coffee shop, write for three hours, then come home and digitize it during the revision process.
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@Jaloopa said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Can you do that on iphones now?
How the fuck would I know, I don't buy iCrap
You can do it with Android. Even old Symbian phones could do it !
Hell, I can even transfer files between my Android phone and my poor Linux laptop using Bluetooth.
MS: Late to the party and forgot to bring the beer.
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@TimeBandit said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
copy&paste was nowhere to be found.
My instructor today was just talking about how an upcoming iOS update involves a shared clipboard between his desktop and his phone. I asked, why would you want that? He said, well, transferring URLs. I pointed out, what you really need is a button in Safari that says "Send to my phone". Who the fuck wants a shared clipboard?!
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@Yamikuronue said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Yeah. Laptops can be too tempting for some people; knowing facebook is a click away, they can't help themselves. So they grab a notebook, head to a coffee shop, write for three hours, then come home and digitize it during the revision process.
I couldn't do that. I think much more quickly than I can write. I would lose lots of ideas.
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@mott555 said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@loose Imagine the IoT botnet you could run if each sheet of smart TP had its own IPv6 address.
Not to mention DoS attacks...hmmm
Need to make sure the sheets can't be hacked and have the tissue develop a waxy finish.
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While the Kickstarter project is gathering its hundreds thousands $ and preparing for the inevitable manufacturing delays, the factories in China will start producing and selling the item on their own.
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@Yamikuronue said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
@TimeBandit said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
copy&paste was nowhere to be found.
My instructor today was just talking about how an upcoming iOS update involves a shared clipboard between his desktop and his phone. I asked, why would you want that? He said, well, transferring URLs. I pointed out, what you really need is a button in Safari that says "Send to my phone". Who the fuck wants a shared clipboard?!
I could see that being pretty handy. Think about how shit it is working in RDP or in a VM without a shared clipboard.
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@Polygeekery why is he talking about the latent heat of vaporization? That's energy that you add to make it go in the reverse direction... converting liquid water to gas. Then he takes the equation for how much energy you're taking out of it, flips the sign, and says that's how much energy you need to put into it to drive the process. And then he comes up with the idea that you need 250 kWh to produce 1 liter of water, or 0.004 L/kWh.
That's just absurd. I went to Energy Star's dehumidifier page and downloaded their spreadsheet... the products they list range from 1.85 to 4.2 L/kWh. According to his math, all of those products exceed the laws of physics by about 3 orders of magnitude... funny, he said the same thing about the water bottle...
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Hey, how about a self-filling water bottle that cannot possibly work without violating lots of laws of physics?
I don't think that's true. Sounds like a solar powered dehumidifier. I suspect it will work very slowly (especially in arid environments), but I don't see why it would need to violate physics.
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@Polygeekery said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
Think about how shit it is working in RDP or in a VM without a shared clipboard.
I can 100% see a use case for having a shared clipboard between an emulator and your desktop. But who wants to share a clipboard with their usual phone? The one they have attached to their Apple ID or whatever it is? iTunes account or whatnot?
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@Yamikuronue said in Dumb things being crowdfunded.:
A composition notebook that lies flat? Sure, I'd order a crate of those.
Actually, I think I'd just order some spiral-bounds.