@Carnildo said:
And if it was a hentai manga, he would have been grabbed by a pair of tentacles with . . . interesting . . . ideas.
Please somebody else admit that they initially read that as "testicles".
@Carnildo said:
And if it was a hentai manga, he would have been grabbed by a pair of tentacles with . . . interesting . . . ideas.
Please somebody else admit that they initially read that as "testicles".
I was about to be laid off a few years ago. They told us about the layoffs, and said there was going to be a 4-week "consultation" period (I think this is a legal thing as they were chopping so many people). We were expected to come to work during this period, but were allowed to make phone calls and goto interviews etc. I instead pointed out the clause in my contract that stated that I actually worked from home, left the building and came back 4 weeks later for my exit interview.
To my suprise, they said that they wanted me to stay; somebody else had resigned the night before so they could keep one person. I think they expected me to be flattered and jump at it, but I instead said I wanted a week to think about it because there were lots of positions paying more money out there... was there anything that could be done about that? At the end of the week they offered me a reasonable increase (15%), so I "decided" to stay. I'd have stayed anyway, my wife was 7 months pregnant...
Surely a quick email to the big boss along the lines of "Dear Sir, I am the resource working on the big project. You may receive a call from an irate customer, who thinks I am slacking off and incapable, as his project is behind. The reason the project is behind is because my manager keeps pulling me off onto other projects. Naturally the client is not aware of this, and nor should he be. I just wanted to document the fact that my maanger is trying to shift the blame onto me, when in fact I am merely doing his bidding."
If you're going to get shafted, you might as well get your end of the story in and shaft the guy right back. And then quit with a week before go-live.
Tesco are great for this. Have a look at the TV section, and under the Brands section on the left you'll find "Technika" and "Tecknika"
I've seen a few Sign Under Test messages. Nothing wrong with that.
The better ones are the ones that light up and say "Sign Not In Use". a) It is in use. b) Why not just turn it off?
My last job was in a pretty small firm, and amongst other things I was designated as the IT manager.
The company hit some hard times and was on the verge of bankruptcy. Our Financial Controller said there would have to be staff cutbacks. Strangely enough, it was on that day that I chose to email our MD with the proxy logs for the FC's internet usage, showing he spent most of his day browsing a mixture of cricket and porn.
A few days later, he was gone. A week later I left, too. The MD begged me to stay, but it was time to move on. Good thing I did, as the whole firm went under shortly after.
My favourite is if you type in the word buckinghamshire (I think with the US dictionary). It has to be a lower-case "b" but the suggested word is quite suprising.
In November I bought a new HDTV and a Playstation3 (using money I earned from a nice little on-the-side job for her boss)
Because of this, in December I had to buy 2 new leather sofas (using my money).
@femalegamer said:
We're having to deal with data from someone else's program, and one of their fields is a text field for ip address, which is 32 characters long. Yeah, sometimes people are just not thinking very well...
Er, IPV6????
@FraGag said:
@valerion said:Can't say that this function I just came across isn't well described:
function JustReturnFalse {
return false;
}
As to why it exists, I don't dare to delve deeper to find out.
Aren't there some missing parentheses?
I didn't copy n' paste, I typed... you get the idea though.
If I've got time later I'll search the code to see where it's being called from. Perhaps there will be a perfectly rational explanation for it.
Can't say that this function I just came across isn't well described:
function JustReturnFalse {
return false;
}
As to why it exists, I don't dare to delve deeper to find out.
The real WTF is that you thought a box-unwrapper might have actually had some networking knowledge.
When Virgin came to fix something at my house (my tv, not my broadband) he said he'd had to disconnect everything in the box outside and reconnect it again so could I check my internet. I fired up Firefox and nothing, so I browsed to 192.168.100.1 which is the IP of the cable modem. I said it's still acquiring an IP, refreshed it a couple of times and it got one and it all worked.
The technician was very impressed and had to ask me how I did it, because it looked quite useful for when he was installing broadband...
@belgariontheking said:
@snoofle said:
burns through cash like it's water.I get your point, but I'm having trouble imagining water burning.
Great, now I'm going to have "Smoke On The Water" stuck in my head all day. Dah dah dahhhhh dah dah da dahhhhh dah dah dahhhh dah dahhhhh
I like the fact that he thought she didn't need AV because she didn't have a fast enough connection.
"I don't need car insurance - I never drive fast enough to crash!"
@Crispy Duck said:
@Cap'n Steve said:
Same here. I also refuse to pronounce SQL as sequel.An ex-colleague of mine pronounced it 'squirrel'. He had an elaborate backstory for this, where data values were considered 'nuts' and the squirrel code would go out foraging for the nuts and bring it back for you...
I still have to consciously stop myself from saying 'squirrel' when talking to the suits...
I had one that did that, too. But I thought Squirrel was actually some JDBC thing, and as he did a lot of Java stuff I just assumed he was talking about that.
@annc said:
I usually treat this as a second password field so my answer is always 123456. Works for my luggage too.
Well done on the Spaceballs reference!
Yesterday I signed up to an offer on the Virgin Mobile website. One part of the process is security question and answer.
I selected Mothers Maiden Name, entered my answer, hit Continue and.... your answer must be between 6-20 characters.
Ok, this is a WTF but we've seen it before.
So, first pet's name? No, less than 6 characters.
Favourite band? Changes. Currently it's AC/DC, so also less than 6 characters.
Aha - Place Of Birth. I enter the town I was born to discover it also kicks it out, because.... it doesn't allow spaces! WTF? Only letters (and, amusingly, numbers are allowed). So I can be born in a town that has numbers in the name, but I can't be born in Thornton Heath.
Clever.
@Daniel15 said:
Someone showed me this today:
((pi * (e * pi * e) * (pi * e * pi) * (e * pi * e) * (((((twenty three (stone knots)) plus (two billion (smoot grains))) plus (three thousand eight hundred and seventy nine (slug feet))) * pi) per (carat yards))) per c) * (cubits per week) = 1.00000092
Uh... WTF? How does that work out? :P
Clearly a WTF. I calculated the answer in my head and got 1.00000093
I still like the "answer to life the universe and everything" thing that the calculator does though.
@Kain0_0 said:
But i suggest we all use kelvin when discussing temperature, that way all temperatures are positive. (I am at a loss as to why no one has suggested this before.)
I did, see above...
Actually, maybe they should just reissue the cards with the temperature scale changed to Kelvins.
@Pol said:
At Uni, one of the other project groups had created a section called the Client Library Interface Toolkit, but for whatever reason...they couldn't think of a suitable acronym...
Very Red Dwarf. "The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society."
I read this the other day. This line: "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is
higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it."
Had me laughing for hours.
Even better was in the comments there was this girl who wrote something calling the woman stupid (fair enough) and how she was only 15 and how embarrassing it was to have used her real name, etc. Then, she signed it off with her own real name. But She Had Written Every Word With An Initial Capital.
Lottery woman may be rubbish at maths, but you're rubbish at English, love.
@PSWorx said:
@valerion said:@asuffield said:
It was £300, you insensitive clod.Per year!
My new Dev Manager has just snubbed our plan to buy a £100 remote-controllable (via TCP) powerstrip so we can reboot whenever we want some GSM modems we've got that lock up frequently. They aren't used much, not mission critical for us, but important for one of our customers. I'd probably write a quick script to reboot them every hour or something. Anyway, instead we've got to recode the whole damn system to use an online SMS-sending service, with about 4 more points of failure, and a far higher per-SMS cost. All to save £100.
Maybe the dev manager just wanted some new toy to play with?
No, he's just an idiot. He also had a clever plan to drill holes in a vehicle fuel tank to put sensors in to measure the fuel left...
I came across a "cumDistance" is some code once. Appealed to my juvenile sense of humour.
@asuffield said:
It was £300, you insensitive clod.
Per year!
My new Dev Manager has just snubbed our plan to buy a £100 remote-controllable (via TCP) powerstrip so we can reboot whenever we want some GSM modems we've got that lock up frequently. They aren't used much, not mission critical for us, but important for one of our customers. I'd probably write a quick script to reboot them every hour or something. Anyway, instead we've got to recode the whole damn system to use an online SMS-sending service, with about 4 more points of failure, and a far higher per-SMS cost. All to save £100.
@slyadams said:
I used it an example to show that just because an item of the same currency looks different to another (e.g. Scottish £5 note looks different to English £5 note) it doesn't make them at all different from a practical standpoint. Just because The Scottish £5 has its own design, it doesn't give it its own currency, as valerion was originally suggesting.
Um, please show me where I said that Scotland has it's own currency. The closest thing I said was "Since when do US states have their own banknotes, for example?". I never once said currency.
@LightningDragon said:
I want to add Terry Pratchett to that list.
I wouldn't know about the alcohol.
Ah, and also Douglas Adams.
However it didn't give us a Euro2008 qualifying team, a rugby world cup winning team or an F1 champion. What a rubbish week that was!
@slyadams said:
I've reread your post and it just astounds me
even more. The basis for your opinion is the word of FIFA?
Unbelievable. I could counter that in the Olympics we compete as one
county, but its pointless, sport doesn't define countries. Cardiff and
Swansea play in the English football league, for example.
Also,
in regards to "Since when do US states have their own banknotes,
for example", they don't, but they have their own coins. In the same
way that different countries in Europe have different design of
Euro/cent coins (even if they are all worth the same) the US states
have different design of coins. This is no different to Scotland having
its own design of banknote. They are of the same currency and are worth
the same, simply have a different cosmetic design. Once again, your
point has no basis in fact.
Finally, the UN, which is
surely the ultimate authority of countries, has UK representatives.
There are no representatives of England, Scotland, NI or Wales. These
representatives could all very easily be English (practically they
wouldn't) if Westminster decides it.
If you
didn't the sarcasm in the football bit then sorry, probably my fault...
as for the UN, see my reply to someone else when I made that exact
point. Regarding banknotes I never said Scotland had different
currency, merely notes. As I said to whoever it was above, I know
Scotland is technically not a country, but it is often classified as
one. It sits at a level between State and Country. I'm sure you will
know the exact term as you obviously have an encyclopedic knowledge of
these things. But, I would still stand by my point that the UK
resembles Europe more than the US. Ok, Scotland can't opt out of our
rule, but they have managed to get more freedom from us in recent
times, whereas we've ceded more control to Brussels.
@asuffield said:
@valerion said:@slyadams said:What about the TV? Oh yeah, that was the Scots.
Umm, so Scotland isn't part of the UK? Think you need some education before continuing in this debate.
Yes, obviously part of the UK, but I'm gunning for England here.
I don't see the point of the UK. As NI, Scotland and Wales are actually seperate countries, the idea of the UK is pretty much the same as the idea of Europe. So therefore whenever anybody mentions the UK, I generally assume they actually mean England rather than all 4 countries, as that is usually what people do mean (especially as UK is much shorter to type than England)
I'm sorry, are you from the past? The UK is the country. England, Scotland, Wales, and NI are provinces of it. They haven't been countries for centuries. The UK has a single government based in London. Every town, city, county and borough has its own council/assembly/whatever, and so do three of the provinces, but they all answer to Westminster.
Yes, yes ... It is, however, usually classified as a country, not a state/province/whatever of England/UK. But technically, technically it is not a country because it is not recognised by the UN, and another country (England) has sovereign control over it. It therefore techically falls somewhere between "Country" and "State". Perhaps nation?
@slyadams said:
Well, that shows your ignorance. The UK is not analogous to Europe at all. The best analogy is really that of the US. England, Scotland, Wales and NI are all states and the UK is the 'federal' body. Each country can make some of its own laws (although some are, and will always be, centrally controlled) but overall ultimate control is central.
Yeah, cos central control is not like Europe at all.... Since when do US states have their own banknotes, for example? I stand by my analogy. You don't have to agree with it. And in any case, they are still seperate countries. This is why you have England, Scotland, Wales & N.I entering the Football World Cup, along with France, Germany, you get the idea. The USA enters as one country.
If you are gunning for England then say England. Saying otherwise just highlights the ignorance of your posts. Saying that "whenever anybody mentions the UK, I generally assume they actually mean England" firstly makes my point for me and secondly generally highlights the ignorance that you don't actually know anything about England or the UK. Still, its outside the borders of the USA so I don't expect much more to be honest.
Showing your own ignorance here... when did I say I was from the US? I'm London born and bred... sounds like I know a lot more about it than you do at any rate.
@slyadams said:
What about the TV? Oh yeah, that was the Scots.
Umm, so Scotland isn't part of the UK? Think you need some education before continuing in this debate.
Yes, obviously part of the UK, but I'm gunning for England here.
I don't see the point of the UK. As NI, Scotland and Wales are actually seperate countries, the idea of the UK is pretty much the same as the idea of Europe. So therefore whenever anybody mentions the UK, I generally assume they actually mean England rather than all 4 countries, as that is usually what people do mean (especially as UK is much shorter to type than England)
Well, the bad news is that the passwords are indeed stored as plaintext (quick point - I did NOT design this!!!).
By the "hashing before it transmits" what I mean is it turns the text into a byte array (with a function that has "hash" in the name hence me calling it that, then does a bit of encoding - not a proper hash - so it can be reconstructed at the other end but is marginally more secure whilst transmitting). Sadly the guy wasn't a crypto genius.
I actually found the root of the problem - for some reason the compact framework encodes UTF8 differently to the full framwork. There's another WTF for you. I'm guessing CF1 did it Ok but since it got ported to CF2 it's never been given to anyone to actually use.
And Barings collapsed... due to a British trader.
What about the TV? Oh yeah, that was the Scots.
Ah, when you click on one of the things it then gives you the choice of options, to add it without hdd or with hdd.... still stupid that it lets you add them to the cart though!
Have you ordered one? Or 20?
In light of today's nasty WTF about the banking software security, I'd like to share something that I'd discovered this last week - the best security you've ever seen!
In brief, I've inherited a mobile app that runs on a PDA and talks to a website. Fine. But I was having trouble logging on, so I start delving into the code. What it does is encrypt the password you enter on the PDA with a salted hash, then for good measure it hashes the result before POSTing it to the website. The site then reads back the hash to get the original salted hash (this bit works fine), then looks up your password from the database, runs the same salted hash algorithm over it and compares it against the one sent from the PDA. If they match, it lets you in.
But, here's the clever bit... the salted hash returned on the website is different to the one sent from the PDA. I think there's some difference in the encoding the hashing algorithm does (it's c# and both web and PDA are using the same assembly so it's not a different algorithm or anything). So, basically, you can never log on, ever. Don't get much more secure than that!
And somehow this has been in production for about a year.
@phithe said:
Also if you intentionally hit someone, it is your fault.
There's a law that needs changing:
<Dumb driver> He ran into me on purpose!
<Cop> Did you?
<Me> Yeah, but she was driving like a moron - talking on the phone and cut me up for no good reason.
<Cop> Ok, cool.
Perhaps it's incase the value of NULL changes in the future? A quick change to the function and disaster is avoided!
This morning I ordered a DVD player from Pixmania. They have a drop-down for "Country" with only "United Kingdom" in it.
I guess they're planning for future expansion.
@bstorer said:
@KattMan said:or a bar of chocolate that staes "Lose 50% more weight**"
"** with four times more excersize"
So yeah, that seem so wrong. It's like they can put anything on the front in big bold letters as long as they footnote it.Cigarettes: "Live Longer** by not smoking these"
Beer: "Won't raise Alchohol Content If you just lick the can"
etc...
Hot Dogs: "Beef Franks May contain pig, horse, sheep, shoe leather, rodent, concentrated bat guano, and/or monkey brains."
Cars: "Safer than every other car on the planet Jupiter"
Cell Phones: "May Cause Cancer **Crap, we screwed that up, didn't we?"
Actually, this reminds me of my favorite real disclaimer: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sx4qe7KI_Ps (Note: you don't need sound to enjoy this clip).
"The way Veramyst works is not entirely understood" Brilliant!
VB is sometimes fine. A year or two ago I had to code a DLL for something to be called from SQL (2000). I use C#, Java, VB & Coldfusion (and SQL, obviously).
I don't know C++ so I used VB6. The DLL works fine, is an integral part of our website now and I've never had any issues with it, performance or otherwise. Would it be faster in C++? Maybe. But it's fast enough.
VB has its uses, and used properly (well, as properly as you can) it's fine for many (but not all) uses.
Telwest (Virgin now) are equally hopeless. A few weeks ago the power in my house flickered. Not enough to make my PC go off, but it killed my broadband and my cable TV. I rang my father-in-law who lives across the street and his had gone off too. I did a few ping tests, definately their end - my cable modem is fine. So I call them up and it went like this:
Me "Hi my broadband and TV stopped working."
TW "Well I can't help you with the broadband - you have to pay for that call - but I can help you with the TV."
Me "I think it's an area fault. The power just flickered and both went out, and so did my father in law's across the road"
TW "Well I'm not showing any area faults. Let's try some troubleshooting.
Me <waits to be told to turn the box off and on again> "Perhaps I'm the first to call about the fault?"
TW "No, it'd be on my system. Now, can you turn the box off and on again?"
Me "Ok..... <does it> nope, still doesn't work."
TW "We'll have to send an engineer out."
Me "But it's an area fault - you don't need to!"
TW "Yes we do, but unfortunately no engineer can come for 3 weeks."
Me <forgetting he doesn't actually need to come> "3 weeks - are you mad?!"
TW "Sorry. But I'll credit you a month's TV service for the inconvenience."
Me "Uh, ok then! Bye!"
It was fixed the following morning... the day before my engineer appointment I called them and said it had started working again so he didn't need to come and still got my free month's TV!
Well I guess the savings on dev went into the prices - I actually did order a pushchair from them (not the £9,999 one...) and their price was much better than elsewhere. Now we know why!
One for the off-spring off football players, lottery winners, and other rich types, who must have the absolute best for their little darlings!
Ok, it's not a big WTF, just a bit of an "oops".
It's probably more dangerous than that. They'd probably decide they could do without me altogether!
I love the fact that this thread turned into a Spaceballs quote-fest.
You're all preaching to the choir here, guys... I know it's bad, our IT manager knows it's bad, all the staff know it's bad (we're basically an engineering office) but management won't do it for some reason.
We do have a good co-lo facility for our web-app and some DR, but no chance of moving anything else there...
Our new head office (we were bought out a little while ago) runs their web-app from their office (although in a server room) and won't co-lo it out... was interesting last week when their power went out and the genny wouldn't start!
Budget for walls... daft I know! It's not like we're completely broke or anything. Record profits this year (but no payrise, of course). Not swimming in cash though, but still... walls! No proper kitchen, either.
No bosses here really, so can't dump some servers in his office! Indeed, there was going to be an office for visiting directors but, again, walls are expensive y'know so that got pulled too!
Aircon... probably going to be an issue, yes!
I might have over-estimated at 40 people actually. These days it's more like 25 in our building, plus about 60-70 in 2 other buildings, plus roving sales/CS people. The axe was wielded after the aquisition.
Alternative employment? My eye is open, and has been for a while! That said, my contract actually states I work from home (hangover from my tech-support days before they "promoted" me to software engineer)... might be time to point that out! Sure they'd change it in a flash though.