MasterPlanSwamp
LOL
@WeatherGod said:
You know, up to this point, I really didn't have an opinion of Lysis either way. I mostly just gloss over the MPS vs. Lysis flamewars, so I really couldn't see who was really trolling or not. Now that Lysis is acting some immaturely in stark contrast to everyone else, he has brought himself to the level of TEDSBROTHERTED or whoever in terms of maturity, but still not quite that annoying.
A pox on you and your family. Ted Hudson is a legend sir!
@Lingerance said:
@Lysis said:Because you touch yourself at night.How is that even an insult? So what if he masturbates? Why do you have such an invested interest in him, so much so to the point where you actually found that information out? If you're going to insult someone the very least you can do is to make you own insults, which you half did with MasterAsshat.
No u!
@Zylon said:
Well, I was going to compose some pithy retort here, but seeing that Lysis consistently uses "QQ" as a verb, I realize now that it's wrong to pick on the mentally handicapped. They're born the way they are, they make the best of their pitifually limited mental faculties. No point picking on them.
So instead I say, forge ahead, Lysis! Forge ahead, you brave little retard! Do your best!
l2warcraft
@morbiuswilters said:
@Lysis said:
Who's Lysis? Whoooooooo's Lysis? OMG The only troll that actually makes MasterAsshat and Beljerk cream their pants. Let's not forget the QQers of quoting the original post and the Knights of Fail who get their panties in a bunch because this was posted on the Sidebar WTF forum.It makes me really depressed that you have been on this forum for over 6 months now just to troll. You have wasted dozens of hours of your life just to be a prick and what have you gained from it? You don't even get people all that upset. You're the most ineffective troll ever. Say what you will about Anonymous, at least they actually gave several people seizures with their trolling. You have accomplished nothing and the only reason you must stick with it is because the rest of your life is so empty and devoid of meaning.
You're half right my dear! My *job* is empty and devoid and boring as fuck so I choose to come here and troll you uptight twats. Watching you people QQ over quoting the OP is more entertaining than DTS <shudder> and it kills hours, as you say, of my happy ass sitting in this hell hole. After working with SQL 2000 for so long, I think my resume has gone backwards and this place is like the Greygoose Orange of the work hour.
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
@shakin said:
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Care to explain WTH you are talking about? Everything works fine here...
If you browse the site from April fools day domain thedailywth.com the sidebar WTF links are broken.
Well... WTH would you do that for??
Because you touch yourself at night. WTF cares, MasterAsshat.
@rbowes said:
Who's Lysis?
Probably what I get for only reading the first couple posts in each thread.. :)
Who's Lysis? Whoooooooo's Lysis? OMG The only troll that actually makes MasterAsshat and Beljerk cream their pants. Let's not forget the QQers of quoting the original post and the Knights of Fail who get their panties in a bunch because this was posted on the Sidebar WTF forum.
@belgariontheking said:
<br></td> </tr> </tbody></table><p> <a href="http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/p/8297/156374.aspx#156374">Last Post</a> by <a href="http://forums.thedailywtf.com/user/Profile.aspx?UserID=9895">Lysis</a> , Tue, Apr 1 2008 1:32 PM</p><p> </p><p>You fail at fooling anyone.</p><p>Sorry for feeding the troll. </p><p> </p><p></blockquote> </p><p> </p><p>Good job Sherlock Holmes. </p>
BHAHAHAHAHA April Fool's!
MasterAsshat was probably creaming his pants too.
@Soviut said:
@Lysis said:
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Psssh. Noob. MS invented math.
It's "n00b". n00b, gtfo.
Get with the times, its "nub"...you're both a bunch of newbies!
Umm no, actually it's n00b. n00b is a person who has no clue and is "new". "nub" is a person who SHOULD know what he's doing because he's been doing it for a while, but he's so clueless he still acts like a dumb n00b.
Oh wait....maybe you're right and MasterAsshat is a nub. My bad.
@Vechni said:
So MTV is doing this reality show, where the contestents are voted by an online social networking site. (parisbff.com)... Here is what is interesting (of course its rigged, but anyway):
sum hackers on steroids helped to vote sam dashefsky (an irl convicted celeb stalker who wanted to smell paris's hair) to first place, he was quickly deleted after this. So they began making fake profiles of ugly emo girls, those remained in first place for a day or two. Then they began rigging the votes of real contestents to get them banned (teh site's security was shit, a simple high school project could be assigned to break it). AT this point they are trolling it, submitting fake pages/gore/etc.
Meanwhile, howard stern audience also managed to get someone, benjjy a comedian at no#1.
MTV's fix for this problem? leave the site up, disable voting for everyone. So, MTV has a neat error message for when a user casts a vote:
Also, here is some classic wooden table of one of their users trying to send a screen cap:
http://parisbff.com/people/djr0569/videos/11010
Awwww man! I would have fully enjoyed getting into this trolling action.
@morbiuswilters said:
@AbbydonKrafts said:
@Spectre said:But what if it's blinking, scrolling and has excessive exclamation marks?That might work because then it's almost like a graphic. I think a glitter graphic would be most effective, though.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! OMG...HAHAHAHAHAHA
Best...post...everrr. I almost fell off my chair.
@Arenzael said:
@Faxmachinen said:
Then we use the PC speaker, ofcourse. That's what my BIOS always does.
You can't be serious, an auditory message coming from the system speaker? -10 points for you.
Yes, but +20 points if he can make the CD tray open instead!
@Arenzael said:
I run an internal web app that authenticates users via client certificates. Every once in a while something will go awry and certain users will get a 403 error when they try to access the site. I found that if the user logs off of his/her computer and logs back on, the error goes away. After about 10 phone calls of "it won't work" (which we all know is a statement that is terribly condusive to debugging), I added a custom error page for 403 error. This page is plain white, with a centered div outlined in red. In the div are bold, black words which simply state:
"There has been a problem with your certificates. Please log off of your computer and log back on. If the problem persists, call IT."
That's it, three sentences. The rest of the page is totally blank. I figured this would mitigate a lot of phone calls. I was completely and devastatingly wrong. Since then I have had users call me, e-mail me, send me screenshots of the error, copy/paste the error into e-mails, and visit me desk-side about the error. Every time, I play the role of Indian Level 1 Helpdesk nug. The conversation goes like this:
"Did you follow the instructions in the error message?"
"What instructions?"
Pause for huge, vacuum-inducing sigh. "The ones that say 'Log off and log back on, then try again.'"
"Oh, I didn't see that. Should I try that first?"
Pause again, this time wondering if being an overnight security guard in Antarctica would really be so bad. "Yes...."
This is why I'm in school for a completely different career path far away from technology. I have unfortunately expired all my patience for this shit. I don't think I could handle answering calls for this for long.
@TheRider said:
@Lysis said:
You are pulling on everybody's nerves here, just to get at MasterPlanSoftware? What a moron you are. I pity you.Oh yeah, I copied/pasted the OP. I thought I'd give MasterAsshat something to do.
@wouter said:
As I'm sure is the case for many people here, I'm the one in the neighbourhood who gets bugged when stuff breaks.
A few years ago, my brother contacted me with a rather silly statement.
"Wouter, the Internet is down! And MSN doesn't work anymore, either!"
Hmm.
Turned out that to him, "The Internet" equaled "the world wide web", things you see through your browser. Everything else -- "msn", "emails", whatever -- would get from one computer to the other by sheer magic, I guess.
Took me a while to explain that one.
Helllooooo George Dumbya has renamed it "The Internets."
@ObiWayneKenobi said:
More reason why, while VBScript is NOT the real WTF, most programmers who "program" (and I use that term loosely) in it are.
Found this from the guy I replaced (indentation and spacing, or lack thereof, is left as-is):
if pIdCustomer=0 then
pPriceColumn="retail"
else
mySQL="select priceColumn from customers where idCustomer='" & pIdCustomer & "'"
call getFromDatabase(mySQL, rsTemp, "ViewItem_1")
pPriceColumn=rstemp("pricecolumn")
end if
if pIdCustomerType=4 or pIdCustomerType=5 or pIdCustomer=17873 or pIdCustomer=21385 then
mySQL="Select accessLevel,groupId from customers where idcustomer="&pidCustomer
call getfromDatabase(mySQL, rstemp, "comersus_customerUtilitiesMenu.asp")
end if
if not rstemp.eof then
paccessLevel=rsTemp("accessLevel")
pIdGroup=rsTemp("groupId")
else
paccessLevel=1
pIdGroup=0
end ifBasically to sum it up: The way this is written, without On Error Resume Next (which every page has) it will fail if the type/id check doesn't get called, because "rstemp" (what a descriptive name, eh?) would only have the value of the prior query checking for the priceColumn, and wouldn't have any columns called "accessLevel" or "groupId". Not to mention that it's not using Option Explicit, so any variable declared inside the If block is automatically what amounts to global level and visible to everything.
*sigh* It's days like this I hate being a programmer.
EDIT: And, just for bonus WTFery, here's some javascript from the same page (The real WTF is the naming):
<!--
function smt(){
//alert("fired")
document.getElementById("frm").submit();
}
function rpt(){
//alert("fired")
document.getElementById("frm2").submit();
}
function namrpt(){
//alert("fired")
document.getElementById("frm3").submit();
}
//-->
On Error Resume Next is cruise control to cooooooool....
Oh yeah, I copied/pasted the OP. I thought I'd give MasterAsshat something to do.
@kimos said:
I was at my local Winners store this weekend. It's like Gourdmans or TJ Maxx in the US. For years they had had these tiny monochrome screens and tractor printers for their POS system. It was horribly antequated and was in need of a refresh.
So, I notice they all finally have nice new terminals with touch screens and keyboards at each cachier. But all of them have a printed out paper taped onto the keyboard saying "Remember, don't touch the keyboard". When I ask the cashier why they can't touch the keyboard and can only use the touch screen, she simply tells me that "the system for the whole store will freeze and need to be rebooted".
Nice. Quite an upgrade.
I suspect that answer is 1 of 3 things:
a) The cashier was being sarcastic
b) It's one of the corporate training schemes
c) Someone is fucking with them
If' it's (c) then hahahahahaha! Awesome!
@JamesKilton said:
Sorry, I misread the article about the "pwned".
As for IGE vs IGN, no I am not mixing those up. Thottbot and Allakhazam are owned by the same company that also owns IGE, the gold selling company. IGN is not anywhere in this mix last I checked.
Dear Mr. Ex-GM,
What happens when the stoppable force meets the unstoppable force? And is it true that GM Island is just a place for GM pr0n?
@bstorer said:
@Lysis said:
@bstorer said:
@Aaron said:
If I ever heard somebody try to say the word "pwned" out loud, I'd fire them too.Agreed. That ought to be a firable offense anywhere in the world.
Blizz GMs are not asked to act like the corporate assholes. They role play, the make jokes, they use gamer language. It's part of the game.
No, but anyone anywhere who says "pwned" OUT LOUD is a moron.
haha How about someone who verbalizes "lolz"?
@bstorer said:
@Aaron said:
If I ever heard somebody try to say the word "pwned" out loud, I'd fire them too.Agreed. That ought to be a firable offense anywhere in the world.
Blizz GMs are not asked to act like the corporate assholes. They role play, the make jokes, they use gamer language. It's part of the game.
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
@JamesKilton said:
but telling a guy he got "pwned" is BAD customer service in all senses of the term.Did you actually read the post, or just vomit on the keyboard and see what came out?
@OP said:
except when i told him i was removing him from game, i said - in real life, quietly, mind you - "you just got pwnd"
Good morning MasterAsshat! Is this another one of your "useful" contributions unlike my contributions? lol
@DaveK said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@Lysis said:
Ted, I think I love you.I will skullfuck both of you. Get off my Internet.
I suggest that we start either posting or crossposting to forums.thedailywtf.com.
I also suggest that we use big words and perfect grammar, and refuse to write as the young ruffians in question speak.
This could lead to some interesting ‘dialogue.’
Meow Henrietta Pussycat?
Snuh?
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/t/8159.aspx
Somewhere in there I made a quick little joke, and he acted like a jackass about it.
It is getting old though. I made my point.
No one currrrrs!
@morbiuswilters said:
@Lysis said:
Ted, I think I love you.I will skullfuck both of you. Get off my Internet.
Yo momma!
@TedsAuntieTed said:
@morbiuswilters said:
There have to be mods here. Somebody locked the original SSDS thread. This trolling BS is getting pretty annoying. Nobody here should respond to it, but it keeps pushing garbage to the top of the sidebar. This is pathetic.
I COME HERE FOR SOME WTF I DUN KNOW WHAT UR PROBLEM IS. I WUZ INTERDUCIN MYSELF SO Y'ALL KNOW THAT I LIKE THE RED HEADS AND JANET RENO. MY COMPURTER BREAKS SUMTIMES AND I NEED A TECHNICION TO FIX IT AND I FOUND THIS HERE WEBSITE WITH Y'ALL COMPUTER PEOPLE.
I KNOW I MIGHT BEEN NAUGHTY SO I WILL KEEP A TOPIC IN THIS HERE THREAD. CAN SOMEBUDY TELL ME WHY MY COMPUTER WUN TURN ON?????? I PLUGED IT IN AND THOSE THERE LED LIGHTS WONT TURN ON. I HAVE A PACKERD BELL AND THIS HERE BABY HAS LASTED ME LONGER THEN MY 3RD WIFE WHO LEFT ME AFTER HER 16TH BIRTHDAY. LARETTA WUZ HER NAME AND SHE BROKED MY HEART.
ANYWAYZ IF YOU ALL CULD HELP OUT A FELLER IN THE WTF COMPUTER PROBLEM I'D BE MIGHT GREATFUL. THANK YER.
Ted, I think I love you.
@TedsAuntieTed said:
Pleece add me to the glorious lits o' trolls of MasssssterAsshatPlan.
OMG YOUR TEDDY IS BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
@stinch said:
Telling people to grow up then tagging the post with a load of childish tags?
Your posts have degenerated into troll baiting and troll feeding. Helping to turn what was a reasonable forum into crap.
Riiight, because I started that.
It is definitely my fault that whenever I make a post I have morbii following me around crying. These trolls (morbii, dlikhten, Lysis and poopdeville) are the ones ruining threads. But no one has to read anything they don't want to. Anyone who is complaing is just a baby.
I guess we can add you to the list now. Try not to be quite as pathetic as the rest though. Have some dignity.
Waaaah waaaaaaaaah! If you disagree with me you must be a troll or you're Lysis with a nother name! Yep, that's what it must be!
I know you're fragile ego can't handle this, MasterAsshat, but some people might just think you're an asshole besides me. I think you should sit back and ponder that for a second. And Jesus-fucking-Christ - I do a search for my name in a thread and you have mentioned me like 5 times.
@RayS said:
@Lysis said:
stuff...Could you pretty please take that stuff back and change your position on this? I fear that your agreement with me is detrimental to the strength of my arguement.
Thanks.
No can do. Occasionally, I like to pull out the ol' troll favorite of agreeing with random posters and branding them. One of these days, I'll agree with MasterAsshat which will probably make me wrong.
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Bored today huh?
Is this your first "contribution" for the day, MasterAsshat? Tell us again how you "contribute" to the forums and the trolls don't?
Dumbass.
If you go to eoidirect.com (a website to get a copy of your insurance for mortgage lenders) and you create an account, the password field is a plain text field. Like, they couldn't even set the property of the textbox to password? :-/
@ObiWayneKenobi said:
TRWTF is that you haven't been banned yet, despitecontributing nothing worthwhile to the forums, and insulting other posters for no reason.
@RayS said:
Well that's awfully generous. By which I mean, not even remotely generous. So long as it is sanctioned by doctor, I am 'allowed' to be ill for a month without having to use and BS "gotta collect 'em all" credit scheme over several years.
LOL! Gotta feel bad for the guy. My sister worked for doctors for many years and the crappy thing about it was they had the worst health benefits. Plus, he thinks that he's very important and has to come to work every day cuz...like...he's another one of those people who feels they are that important. So, while I'm lazing around using up sick days, you're at work thinking you're that important. GG.
@morbiuswilters said:
@PSWorx said:
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Just found it funny.
Quoting the OP is useless, but anything SpectateSwamp has ever said didn't deserve to be read ONCE, nevermind TWICE. WTFx2.
Jeez, calm down, friend. We're talking about a three line post here. Please explain to me how that is cluttering up your view. Besides, it had a relevance there, because CodeSimian didn't respont to the post before him. Or would you rather like him calling medialint an asshole?
Yes, we all agree that SS is a hopeless troll, weirdo and most likely insane. We also agree that excessive posting can be annoying. Keyword being "excessive" here. But you exaggerate a little lately. You're starting to judge this forum by your own made-up rules only. And you demand that everyone else obeys to those rules. This is not your site, MPS and if you don't start to admit that soon, you'll end up in your own little world, not much better than SpectateSwamp.
Quoting the OP is always retarded. I did it above as a joke (you know, like the rest of my post) because this thread obviously only has value as a comedic outlet. I think MPS can have an annoying habit of posting somewhat useless junk (to inflate his post count?) sometimes, but he can be right-on sometimes as well. I seriously wonder what kind of code is written by people who aren't irritated by the inefficiency of quoting the entire fucking OP. Also, you need to take a joke, man. MPS has a very dry sense of humor and it can be grating sometimes, but some people here seem to have no sense of humor.
Uuuuuuh actually, pull up the posts where MasterAsshat claims he was being sarcastic or humorous and it's when he is proven to be wrong. His response to giving bad information is "I was being sarcastic." LOL
@PSWorx said:
@MasterPlanSoftware said:
Just found it funny.
Quoting the OP is useless, but anything SpectateSwamp has ever said didn't deserve to be read ONCE, nevermind TWICE. WTFx2.
Jeez, calm down, friend. We're talking about a three line post here. Please explain to me how that is cluttering up your view. Besides, it had a relevance there, because CodeSimian didn't respont to the post before him. Or would you rather like him calling medialint an asshole?
Yes, we all agree that SS is a hopeless troll, weirdo and most likely insane. We also agree that excessive posting can be annoying. Keyword being "excessive" here. But you exaggerate a little lately. You're starting to judge this forum by your own made-up rules only. And you demand that everyone else obeys to those rules. This is not your site, MPS and if you don't start to admit that soon, you'll end up in your own little world, not much better than SpectateSwamp.
BAM!!! Owned again! Our little hall monitor is feeling the control slip slip slipping away. Go ahead MasterAssat. Say "You will respect mah authoritah!"
@SpectateSwamp said:
Wouldn't that be something, if I ended up as one of the 20 finalists? And the rest of you Geeks got nothing. Boy wouldn't this group look stupid then. Know-it-all Nerds!
Check it out: http://www.netsquared.org/mashup
Thanks to this forum, I had some demo videos uploaded and ready to show.
Dude, I'm totally rooting for you!
*yawn* It's late. How are you nerds doin'?
@PJH said:
I've yet to work with a company/industry that 'T&C's holiday may be carried forward to future years forever. This includes McDonalds, teaching, petrochemical and telephony.
If you don't want to use up your 5* days holiday this year, what's going to change next year? Hurrah, you now have 10 days you won't use.
If you want 5* days extra pay for holiday you're not using, say so.
If your contract precludes you from using last years holiday, fucking use them anyway!
If work cancels holiday, carry them over/use them elsewhen!
* substitute 5 days for 25 or 36 if your country legislates this.
My favorite is when people use the statement "I haven't taken a vacation in years!" or "I rarely call in sick!" as some kind of bragging rights. When they tell me this I must have the biggest "You're so dumb" look on my face. So, essentially, while I'm relaxing by the pool ignoring any work related issues and getting paid for it, you're at work. Kudos to you, loser. I also make sure I use up all my sick days by every couple of months calling in sick on a friday or a monday.
@Aaron said:
Wouldn't this technically classify as definitive proof of your stalker tendencies, since you're the only one who ever uses that tag?
I can has stalker title?
Teeheeeee. Look at the cloud. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
MasterAsshat you're famous!
@pitchingchris said:
@djork said:
The only way to work in software without being a code monkey is to find a small company that is actually staffed and run by people that give a damn.Guess you're talking about my company. Almost everybody gives a damn about our product here, and making it better. Must be why we can get things changed around in a few days/weeks if thats what it took.
You must work for a small company. Small companies are nice in that respect, but I bet you're paid like crap.
@Zylon said:
@Lysis said:
What is this Pascal you speak of?
It's a programming language used by people who aren't virginal, socially retarded dumbasses with no friends.
So, understandably, you wouldn't be familiar with it.
LMAO He edited to quote me. Ty kind sir!
@Zylon said:
@Lysis said:
What is this Pascal you speak of?
It's a programming language used by people who aren't virginal, socially retarded dumbasses with no friends.
So, understandably, you wouldn't be familiar with it.
I prefer when you quote my flamebait.
@WhiskeyJack said:
Wow.
At my last company (a telecom that was going to hit it big with VOIP), we were all in high spirits in the middle of 2001, everything was going great, we were all getting pay raises "just because" (keeping up with the market) and one day we were all invited to an off-site meeting where the CEO was going to make a big rah-rah presentation followed by a reception.
As luck would have it, there was another party going on at the same time as our event. A farewell party for someone. "FAREWELL" banners were everywhere.
We all thought it was funny at the time, but it wasn't so funny 6 months later when I was hit in the first round of layoffs. It happened very quickly, too. My boss asked to see me, brought me to a meeting room where he and HIS boss sat at one end of a large table across from me. As soon as I walked in that door, in my heart I knew what was going to happen, even though my mind was still refusing to comprehend. I was handed an envelope, thanked for my service with the company (all 1.5 years of it as a new grad) and then ushered to the parking lot. That was it.
Up until that moment, I had always assumed that "two weeks notice" would involve me still working for two weeks, cleaning up, packing up, saying goodbye. It had never occurred to me that it could mean "we'll keep paying you for two more weeks, but you're out the door as of this very instant". I had to book an appointment to come back in and pick up my personal things, under security escort.
What was frustrating was, I *had* seen it coming, only I hadn't been willing to admit it to myself. Something had felt "wrong" for the past few months at work, even to the point I had resolved to myself to "step up my game" and try to impress people. And as for that big hoo-hah the CEO always put on? I was always cynical. The man was a brilliant speaker. Everyone always left those meetings cheering, clapping, excited, with visions of "we're #1, we'll take over the market, we're right on track, we'll all get rich"... I always left thinking, "Wait, no, something's not right here."
I guess I was right.
I found out that after I had left, they instituted pay freezes, cuts in many cases, and a few more rounds of layoffs shortly after.
It's never worth being the "bright star" in this industry. You're laid off just like the guy who comes in late and browses the internet all day. I did the same as you working in a great job, going beyond what was asked of me, etc. I was laid off along with the rest of my team in 2001. We too had conference calls ensuring us that no one is losing their jobs and we just need to work with our new team members (we were bought out by AT&T) so that they can assist us with our daily work load. LOL Like you said, you know when it's coming though. This is why I've become the guy who comes in late, browses forums all day, and just doesn't give a shit and if it came down to it my ass will be laid off along with the other schmoes in my office who feel the need to come in on time and work hard to show the company how great they are. To these people I say: