Make me a member! Sit me on the front row of the jury! Let me pull the switch! If I could run this product over I'd reverse back over it and pee on the squashed turdy ofal that would remain...
Technology is there as a tool to get a job done. It's meant to make things easier. WTF! These self absorbed barstards seem to take pleasure in writting crap you can't use unless you're in the secret Oracle society. I've fought with some inaccessible rubbish in my time, but never has it been worse than Oracle. I've searched the net, I've read the manuals, I've spoken to the company experts, but no fucker can make the vaugest sense out of this monstrosity.
There's probably a barstard handshake amongst these insecure fucks who feel it neccessary to write something you can't bloody install in less than a fortnight. They meet up in mountain hideouts and rub linseed oil into each others bum cracks whilst inventing new names for configuration settings. "I know lets have a role called a DBAENDQUSERFLOATSTAKER, we'll make them the only user who can use the letter "Q" in a four line sentance" - BARSTARDS!
Oracle how about something you can install and use, with advanced configuration settings that come ... and here's the big pitch ... after you've been using the basic functionality.
I see it like this. There was this guy: incoherant, anal, pedantic and lonely, with a tiny shlong - to the point of just being undetectable to a person skilled in brail. So he decides to create a database program. He decides to make it complex and unneccessarily pissy. He decides to do it in such a way that no one will be able to use it. That way he'll feel very important. He'll be the only person who can use it and he'll forget about his crappy life. That would be good, it'd distract him from evil naked women on the internet for just a few hours. So he does it. He builds his beast. Soon he is joined by another lonely guy who thinks technology is about his own fragile ego - as opposed to doing stuff - He blows the first guy and as a reward gets his own DBA login and a decoder ring the size of a twin tub.
Keck knows how man years later here we are, and there it is, the poo blocking the toilet bend of data management "Oracle". The car with the steering wheel locked in the trunk and an engine that will only start using a key that you were never given!
Breath! Breath!
Man - and what's with the case sensitivity and namine shit! And why the distinctly crap GUI interfaces - that never work, so I always end up doing it from the command line in SQL*Plus! And why with the packaging the wrong documentation with your downloads!
Do they want us to use it? Even the form to download the fucking product doesn't work! Why build something nobody can use - Why waste your life doing that Oracle... Unless you have no life to waste you insecure technoperverts...