I’m just a college computer programming student who’s
going to be looking for a job soon. I somehow stumbled onto this site recently
and have indulged myself with as much knowledge as I can about the “real world”.
I’ve got to say, the real world is crueler than I had expected it to be. After
having read some really compelling articles, I felt the need to give my
opinions about life based on what I’ve learned from here. These are some
guidelines on how to survive in life, without regards to ethics. Keep in mind,
I have no idea how the corporate world really works, so this is just what I
think.
1. "If your manager tells you to jump
off a cliff, then you should do it."
Perhaps not to the extreme of getting
yourself killed, but common sense won't make your life any easier. In a
situation where your incompetent superior tells you to do something that you
whole-heartedly know is incorrect, you should still do it anyways. The result
appears to be either your job is stalled, and thus you keep your job and
paycheck, or you get fired. In another possibility, you get fired for either
agreeing or disagreeing with your superior. If you agree, then you get blamed;
and if you disagree, you get fired. So you might as well let the company plunge,
ride out the waves for as long as you can, and then move on to a better company
when the time comes.
This was based on
2. "Throw your client under the bus if
they cause you trouble."
For the freelancers, you only agree to do
what's stated by the contract. If a client asks for a sudden modification, then
you would expect them to compensate you fairly. Sometimes,
the client may not happy with the final outcome of the project because of their
delusional misunderstanding of today’s technology. Worst yet, they might refuse
to learn how to use it properly and then blame you for all their shortcomings.
In cases like this, you first shove the contract into their face (what has been
stated is done), demand the rest of the payment (threaten with legal action if
necessary), and then walk off. Whether the project turned out well or not, you
got your pay and now it is their problem.
This was based on
3. "Don't be innovative at work unless
necessary."
There have been many cases where an
employee is tired from doing a repetitively mundane task, and then realize that
they could just create a script that could automatically do it for them instead.
Ultimately, this saves the company time and money. Also, it ends up making the
staff redundant, including that employee who caused it, and thus they all lose
their job. However, in cases where the company is an innovative tech company,
then doing so may earn that employee a promotion, at the expense of all those
other redundant employees losing their job...
4. "Don't touch anything! Let it all burn
down to the ground..."
In corporate environments where any slight
operation requires filling out forms and signatures before doing so, nothing
may ever get done. And just when you think it's as simple as that, you find out
that much of the necessary people are on vacation. Everyone only cares about
their job, their nice paycheck, their reputation, and wouldn't want any of that
to be tarnished in any way. Therefore, no one takes responsibility into their
own hands, except for those poor newcomers who have recently graduated and
completed their ethics course. As long as corporate papers say that you are to
refrain from taking actions into your own hands, then the best thing to do for
your own sake is to just sit back, relax, and watch the company servers
burn.
This was based on http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Slaves-to-The-Process.aspx
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I’d really like your opinions on this,
which ones you agree or disagree with. Perhaps you could even add your own guidelines
to life. Honestly, I would actually have a hard time following these guidelines I've made, but I’m
under the assumption that doing so is the only way to make life more tolerable.