TRWTF - Salesman!



  • So, I just got a call from one of our salesman, in a rental car, on his way to meet a potential client.  He stated that his demo kit for our hardware and software wasn't working.  The demokit consists of a laptop and our wired sensors.  Here is how the conversation went...

    Salesman: "Hey our applications aren't showing the most recent data from our sensors."

    Me: "OK, can you get on the internet and let me connect remotely to your laptop?"

    Salesman: "No, I am in the car parked near a hotel, but I can't get my network card to connect to their wireless network".

    Me: "OK, I will walk you through some things on the phone then...  Open our system to the raw sensor data screen."

    Salesman: "Alright, I see the screen"

    Me: "Do you see any data appearing on this screen?"

    Salesman: "No"

    Me: "Can you reactivate one of the sensors so we can see if it is sending data".

    Salesman: "No"

    Me: "Why not?"

    Salesman: "Because the sensors are in the trunk"

    Me: "You mean there is nothing plugged into your laptop?"

    Salesman: "Right, I am in the car waiting for another salesman before we go to our client"

    Me: "Well, you know our system won't receive data if the sensors are not plugged in"

    Salesman: "I know!"

    Me: "Well, I can't help you if the hardware isn't plugged in and turned on."

    Salesman: "But another tech said they could just log on and fix the problem"

    Me: "But you aren't connected to the internet, and they couldn't be sure they fixed your problem unless the hardware was plugged in."

    Salesman: "Oh, ok.  What am I supposed to do because I have a demo in an hour?"

    Me: "Find a place to plug in your hardware and then call me back."

    WTF!?!?!

    And this is the salesman that landed the biggest contract our company has had to date.  How the hell do they do it?

     I sure bit my tongue on this call...I wanted to scream "WTF!?!  Did you honestly just call me to say your sensors aren't receiving data knowing that you didn't plug them in? "



  • @NCBloodhound said:

    WTF!?!  Did you honestly just call me to say your sensors aren't receiving data knowing that you didn't plug them in?
    Yes, and I made half your salary in an hour today.  Any other questions?



  • @NCBloodhound said:

    How the hell do they do it?

    Easy. Just offer a lot of impossible to accomplish crap , in an impossible amount of time, for an impossible amount of money, then get your bonus check, have a nice dinner with your Premium Platinum hooker at a 5 star hotel, and laugh about "those stupid geeks" that have to make the impossible work.



  • @fatdog said:

    @NCBloodhound said:

    How the hell do they do it?

    Easy. Just offer a lot of impossible to accomplish crap , in an impossible amount of time, for an impossible amount of money, then get your bonus check, have a nice dinner with your Premium Platinum hooker at a 5 star hotel, and laugh about "those stupid geeks" that have to make the impossible work.

    Exactly; how smart do you need to be to promise that it can do everything under all possible circumstances at next to no cost and it can be ready by whenever you want it... That BS applies to every product under the sun, which, I suspect, is why a good salesman can sell anything, whether he knows anything about it or not!

     



  • @fatdog said:

    Easy. Just offer a lot of impossible to accomplish crap , in an impossible amount of time, for an impossible amount of money, then get your bonus check, have a nice dinner with your Premium Platinum hooker at a 5 star hotel, and laugh about "those stupid geeks" that have to make the impossible work.

     

    You're right, and I am the "stupid geek" that has to make it all work.  I even went on some sales calls with them.  I was only there for tech support.  About an hour before the demo the salesman turns to me and says, "you ready for your big presentation"?  I said, "I'm just here for tech support".  He says, "OH, well if you don't want to do it, that's fine".  Thinking it would be a good opportunity for me anyways, I quickly reconfigured the application to better suit the potential client and decided to give the sales pitch.  We got the sale, but I didn't get any commission!  Jackasses!!!

     It may seem like I am a schmuck letting everyone run all over me, but they pay me well enough I can put up with it!



  •  @NCBloodhound said:

    So, I just got a call from one of our salesman, in a rental car, on his way to meet a potential client.  He stated that his demo kit for our hardware and software wasn't working.

    Well, no surprise you can't fix it. After all, it was a ...

     

    ... travelling salesman problem!



  • @PSWorx said:

    Well, no surprise you can't fix it. After all, it was a ...

     

    ... travelling salesman problem!

    Best 900th post I've ever seen.



  • @Zecc said:

    Best 900th post I've ever seen.

    QFT



  • @PSWorx said:

     ... travelling salesman problem!

     

    +1

     



  •  I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.



  • @dhromed said:

     I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.

    You need to zoom in on his right eyeball, enhance the reflection from the sunglasses, zoom in on that, then enhance that image which leads you to the picture of the text of the punchline.

    When you zoom out of that you'll see that it's written on your mom!



  • @OzPeter said:

    You need to zoom in on his right eyeball, enhance the reflection from the sunglasses [etc...]
     

    Thanks!



  • @dhromed said:

     I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.

    I don't watch TV either; I heard they make an awful abuse of complementary colors these days which will make you go blind. Someone even told me there's a show where like every shot is in blue and orange, supposedly to show it takes place in Miami because that's what it looks like in Miami.



  • @PSWorx said:

     @NCBloodhound said:

    So, I just got a call from one of our salesman, in a rental car, on his way to meet a potential client.  He stated that his demo kit for our hardware and software wasn't working.

    Well, no surprise you can't fix it. After all, it was a ...

     

    ... travelling salesman problem!

     

     

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



  • @derula said:

    @dhromed said:
     I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.

    I don't watch TV either; I heard they make an awful abuse of complementary colors these days which will make you go blind. Someone even told me there's a show where like every shot is in blue and orange, supposedly to show it takes place in Miami because that's what it looks like in Miami.

    I've lived in Miami, and the people really are orange there.



  • @dcardani said:

    @derula said:
    @dhromed said:
     I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.
    I don't watch TV either; I heard they make an awful abuse of complementary colors these days which will make you go blind. Someone even told me there's a show where like every shot is in blue and orange, supposedly to show it takes place in Miami because that's what it looks like in Miami.
    I've lived in Miami, and the people really are orange there.

    So that's where the Umpa-Lumpas live!



  • @dhromed said:

     I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.

    I don't watch TV either, but I've seen this. It's awesome.

    I can't imagine how the other 50 minutes of the show can match the awesomeness of the first 30 seconds.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I don't watch TV either, but I've seen this. It's awesome.
     

    ok ok you guys i totally lol'd yeah.



  • @dhromed said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    I don't watch TV either, but I've seen this. It's awesome.
     

    ok ok you guys i totally lol'd yeah.

    Some of the comments are also funny, depending on your sense on humor.

    @GeorgeMillerAtkinson said:

    a lion would never cheat on it's wife

    (sunglasses)

    but a Tiger Wood.

    YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA<wbr>­AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!<wbr>­!!!!!

    			</div><p></blockquote>@LizardKing716  said:<blockquote>"This man was found dead in a Janitor's closet."</p><div class="comment-text" dir="ltr">
    

    "I guess you say...."

    *puts on sunglasses*

    "He was taken by supplies."

    YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH<wbr>­HHHHHH!

    			</div><p></blockquote>@ChewyLampShade  said:<blockquote>"Sir the victim was found dead with the whole left side of his bodie chopped off"</p>
    	
    	<div class="content">
    
    			<div class="comment-text" dir="ltr">
    

    "Well it looks like..."

    *Puts on sunglasses*

    "He will be all right"

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

    			</div></div>


  • @dhromed said:

     I don't watch TV so I don't get the CSI reference.

    Is that because you live in a shoebox in the middle of the street?



  • @galgorah said:

    Is that because you live in a shoebox in the middle of the street?
     

    Yes.

    Why?



  • @dhromed said:

    @galgorah said:

    Is that because you live in a shoebox in the middle of the street?
     

    Yes.

    Why?

    It's a reference to the [url=http://www.scribd.com/doc/16535338/Four-Yorkshire-Men-Script]Four Yorkeshiremen[/url] sketch by monty python.  Follow the link for the script of the sketch.


  • @dhromed said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    I don't watch TV either, but I've seen this. It's awesome.
    ok ok you guys i totally lol'd yeah.
    I didn't lol once.  Thanks for encouraging me to watch better show than this.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    I didn't lol once.  Thanks for encouraging me to watch better show than this.

    +1

    I turned it off after about 2 minutes, it just got too annoying. The comments are fantastic, though.


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