Welcome to DBA chaos.



  • This is a query that I had submitted to me to retreive some data from one of my tables. This user said to me can you please run this query and send me the results. Here is the query he sent me:

    Select my data from the place where my data is stored where data = entered by user.

    Here is the query the user actually wanted me to run when I was finally able to get though laughing:

    Select * from publishers where writtenby = 'enduser';

    Now what made me laugh was this select statement came from a man that said he had spent 10 years as a DBA.



  • sadly (or is it?) the SQL skills of most DBAs are negligable. They know how to run tools to kick off backups and kill jobs, but that's about it unless they're given step by step instructions (and there'd better be no typos anywhere).



  •  HAHA I like the fact that you state most DBA's are backup monkeys or session kill monkeys (scripts required of course!)

     Sounds like you were jilted at the alter by a very attractive female DBA.... You've got to let her go.... she isn't worth it...Filthy DBA bitch...

     Were these Roles Royce Jet4 Engine DBA's by any chance?

     I think you need to relax with a nice large can of ice cold STFU!



  • there are female DBA?

    If there are, I've never met any that admitted to being one.

    No, let's just say I have a lot of experience dealing with DBAs and all but 2 of them were indeed session killing backup monkeys.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

     That's not fair to DBA's. A lot of them know how to create views, relationships and indexes using the GUI tools, too.



  • OK, so whats wrong with the statement then?


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