Adventures at My New Company - Story #4



  • "I will sooo kick your a--!"

    This will be my last installment of these "adventures" stories for this particular company. Why? Because I quit today. I walked right out of the building and drove off.

    Here's what happened...

    There was a developer on my team (let's call him "Ralph" just for identification purposes) who looked like the bully kid from the movie A Christmas Story. No, not the tall one who got beat up by the main character, but the short one with beady little eyes. Anyways...ever since I started with the company, this guy always seemed to give me the evil eye. He was very stand-offish and he never talked to me directly. Personally, I didn't care what his beef was, I just did my job.

    I was in the breakroom and nobody was around. Ralph walks in and comes up to me. BTW, I'm about 6 feet and he's about 5 foot 2 inches. He stares at me and says, "I will sooo kick your a--!"

    At first, I think he's talking about coding skills, so I say, "We'll see about that. I've been in this industry for..." And before I can finish, he yells, "No! That's not what I mean. I'm going to kick your a-- today after work."

    At this point I'm trying to walk past him and leave the break room. "Haha, that's pretty funny. I'm outta here." He points his finger INTO my chest and asks me, "What? You're not scared of me?"

    I'm reeeeally ticked off at the finger in the chest move at this point, but I remain calm. "Please don't put your finger in my chest. And no, I am not the least bit intimidated by you. You aren't seriously considering a physical confrontation, are you?"

    He just glares at me. I can't believe there is a "bully" on the job I'm thinking to myself. This is crazy.

    He asks me again, "You aren't afraid of me? You should be!"

    I tell him, "Let's put it this way. I'm 100 times more afraid of our boss physically than I am of you." (The boss is a tall, lanky guy btw, not very frightening. But at least he's my height and looks like he could hold his own in a fist fight.)

    I can tell at this point Ralph is burning up with anger. I ask him, "What are you so upset about?"

    He just about spits his reply, "I never liked YOU. The moment you started. You just piss me off!"

    "So you're going to meet me in the parking lot and try to beat me up? C'mon. Grow up. This isn't high school."

    I brush past him and he yells, "We're not through you ------!" (I'll let you fill the blank in on that one.)

    So I go right into my boss's office and tell him what happened. I would have gone to HR, but HR consists of a little old lady who can barely see over her bifocals.

    After I relay the events to my boss, he starts to laugh. "Ralph is at it again! Yeah, he's a bit of a bully to the other team members, but you'll get used to it. It's a pecking order thing."

    My jaw just dropped.

    "So what are you going to do about it?" I ask my boss. "What action are you going to take?"

    My boss then gets very serious and looks me dead in the eye. "You're not afraid of him, are you?"

    Exasperated, I throw my arms in the air. "No, I'm not afraid of him! But that's not the point! This whole thing is very unprofess..."

    Before I can finish, the boss says, "You need to grow a pair if you're going to survive in this environment."

    That was the last straw for me. I just motion to my boss with a little wave of my hand, "Ok then. See ya!"

    That's when I walked right out of the building and drove off. I didn't even collect my personal belongings.

    Leaving stupid jobs is becoming quite a trend for me lately... 



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    Well, you did the right thing. Congratulations.

    Assholery begets more assholery. Nothing good could come out of staying in such a place.



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    Very unprofessional of you. You should have collected your personal belongings. Ralph could now use them for some voodoo magic against you, you know.



  • Insane!

     

    Move to a different state. 



  • There probably from the school of hardknocks programming course,

    First you run 15 times around the building while reciting the functions of your language alphabetically, If you notice you missed one or screwed up you have to run another lap.
    Then you do 25 push-ups while  reciting the functions alphabetically in reverse.

    After that you do sparing with your class mates in the fighting style of your preference, but it's more like monkey island fighting.  In turns you call out a function and the other person has to call out the parameters and the return value. If he doesn't know you get to hit him.



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    So, what is it about you that attracts this type of insanity ?




  • @Quinnum said:

    So, what is it about you that attracts this type of insanity ?

    If it wasn't CPound,  I'd guess that the only kind of company that gives him a job is the kind the offers a job to every lunatic.



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    Let's see.. given this is CPound we're talking about, here's what probably happened:

    • CPound somehow  obtained a job.
    • "Ralph" is probably a "hairy, tattooed, pierced beast" who CPound insulted due to his "tats".
    • Ralph therefore doesn't like CPound, and threatened to kick his ass
    • CPound whined like a baby his boss, and demanded Ralph be fired (for being a hairy, tattooed, pierced beast).  CPound's boss laughed and said that Ralph does good work.  CPound vehemently argued that people with "tats" are dangerous to the company and should be fired.
    • CPound's boss instead fired CPound for being an idiot, and he was escorted to his car before he could collect his personal belongings.
    • CPound, to save face, came up with this cock-and-bull story to make himself look sane and everyone else look insane.


  • @TheRubyWarlock said:

    Let's see.. given this is CPound we're talking about, here's what probably happened:

    • CPound somehow  obtained a job.
    • "Ralph" is probably a "hairy, tattooed, pierced beast" who CPound insulted due to his "tats".
    • Ralph therefore doesn't like CPound, and threatened to kick his ass
    • CPound whined like a baby his boss, and demanded Ralph be fired (for being a hairy, tattooed, pierced beast).  CPound's boss laughed and said that Ralph does good work.  CPound vehemently argued that people with "tats" are dangerous to the company and should be fired.
    • CPound's boss instead fired CPound for being an idiot, and he was escorted to his car before he could collect his personal belongings.
    • CPound, to save face, came up with this cock-and-bull story to make himself look sane and everyone else look insane.

     

    I'm glad someone else has figured this out!  On a different note.  I notice that I'm not the only one telling CPound that he needs to "grow a pair."  I'm pretty sure I used those exact words in a previous thread...

     



  • This could be helpful. <click>


     



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    Ha ha ha... I leave the world for a month, and come back to more of the Adventures of CPound.

    Man you are becoming my new comic hero, I can't stop laughing at your stories and punchlines.

     I have a theory about you.

    You are a writer, probably a screenwriter for "The Office", or working on a new TV sitcom, or some absurd workplace comedy film, and you are testing ideas on this forum.
    Actually I don't know the plot (yet), but you are working on a character.. Let's call him Cecil Pounderson or CPound for my ball's sake.
    You are developing the background and personality of one of your characters. He is probably some sort of tech guy, maybe a programmer, IT, etc.
    Definetely manager material but not an engineer though.

    You are trying to create a character that everyone will hate. People will hate him so much, that he will go around the emotional circle, and soon we will wanna love him. 
    I mean, we will want to see him being kicked, humilliated, fired, scared, fallen, broken, stomped, frightened of the "big bad world" and all that "throw him apples" stuff..
    But we will love to see him next week for his new adventures. We will laugh at him, but we will also cheer him up so he can get up (and get knocked down again)..

    Wait, wait.. I'm seeing the plot... It's going to be something like "quantum leap", but instead of jumping through time, He will jump through jobs.

    I'd better go and copyright this stuff so I can sue Fox or Sony when they air the sitcom.  

    Genious man.. you are a Genious.  


     



  • @fatdog said:

    Ha ha ha... I leave the world for a month, and come back to more of the Adventures of CPound.

    Man you are becoming my new comic hero, I can't stop laughing at your stories and punchlines.

     I have a theory about you.

    You are a writer, probably a screenwriter for "The Office", or working on a new TV sitcom, or some absurd workplace comedy film, and you are testing ideas on this forum.
    Actually I don't know the plot (yet), but you are working on a character... 

    I've had a similar idea. "CPound" just being a convoluted experiment with a long running time.



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    Maybe the guy hated you because he had read your posts in the forums?   I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that this isn't the full story and that it has been selectively told by CPound but he still looks like a fool.  I mean yeah sure if your boss is not going to do something about it quitting might be fair enough(although i'm guessing your boss thinks you're a wanker and just thought you getting all huffy was funny).  But slinking out to your car and driving off makes you look really unprofessional (and also sound like a complete sissy).  Although if you are as offensive in real life as you are in forums i'm sure they were all glad to see you go.

    I'd say good luck finding a job but that's unfair to the next group of people who have to work with you.

    I think it will be interesting for you to be on the other side of the interview table.  Will you be wearing a suit? 



  • Re: Adventures at My New Company - Story #4

    Cpound, clearly you must have instigated all this and Ralph was merely responding in appropriate manner to your confidence, which he interpreted as arrogance.  You see, you should always be humble and passive in a new environment. Obviously Ralph has poor social skills that you failed to acknowledge, triggering his justifiable outburst.  I am sure it has something to do with his pschological abuse at the hands of the patriarchal society that he grew up in.

    And going to his boss was clearly out of line -- you should have made a passionate attempt to understand what racial, sexual, class or gender issues caused Ralph to be so hostile before expecting his manager to correct his behavior.  I would have suggested writing a short essay on how your body language and mannerisms (looking people in the eye, standing up straight, etc.) triggered such an understandable response from Ralph.

    Sorry, but expecting a safe, sane and rational work environment is very delusional on your part.  I suggest in your next job you work at trying not project such a confident attitude, which many folks in I.T. regard as either racist, bigoted, or misogynist. 

    😉 

     

     

     



  • It sort of sounds like CPound ran into TunnelRat at his new job, doesn't it?

    Wait...CPound thinks everyone wants to beat him up; TunnelRat thinks everything can be solved with threats of physical violence.  Too symmetric.  I'm starting to lean toward them being the same person...

    ...and I bet AmmoQ agrees.

    -cw



  • It sort of sounds like CPound ran into TunnelRat at his new job, doesn't it?

    Wait...CPound thinks everyone wants to beat him up; TunnelRat thinks everything can be solved with threats of physical violence.  Too symmetric.  I'm starting to lean toward them being the same person...

    ...and I bet CodeWhisperer agrees.

    😉



  • @TunnelRat said:

    ... ...

    Your subtle social commentary on workplace norms is hilarious. Furthermore I would like to add...

    [b]BZZZZZTTT[/b]

    FEMBOT PROGRAMMING ACTIVATE

    MEN ARE PIGS. WOMEN ARE PAID 20% LESS THAN MEN BECAUSE OF REVERSE PENIS ENVY. CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM

     

    Wha, what happened? I lost my train of thought there. Anyone up for a scone? 


     



  • Actually, that 20% number is a urban myth propagated by the statistically challenged.  When adjusted for equal skills and experience, women make slightly more than men.

    For example, if a woman gets a job out of college with the same degree as a man, chances are she will make as much if not more than the man.  After working for 10 years, the woman may elect to leave to work to raise kids.  Studies show that to that point, her wages are on par with any man.   However,  the man continues to work, getting his cost of living increases and gaining more experience, which the market values.

    When the woman returns to the workplace in say, five years, she will have ten years experience and outdated skills, especially if she works in IT.  Meanwhile, the man while have 15 years experience with cutting edge skills.  The market will value her at 20% less then the man.  Until men can be impregnated, the tendency for women to leave the workplace and raise kids will aways impact wages.

    So, kirchoff, as my stats teacher used to say: the numbers don't lie, we lie with the numbers.



  • @TunnelRat said:

    Actually, that 20% number is a urban myth propagated by the statistically challenged.  When adjusted for equal skills and experience, women make slightly more than men.

    For example, if a woman gets a job out of college with the same degree as a man, chances are she will make as much if not more than the man.  After working for 10 years, the woman may elect to leave to work to raise kids.  Studies show that to that point, her wages are on par with any man.   However,  the man continues to work, getting his cost of living increases and gaining more experience, which the market values.

    When the woman returns to the workplace in say, five years, she will have ten years experience and outdated skills, especially if she works in IT.  Meanwhile, the man while have 15 years experience with cutting edge skills.  The market will value her at 20% less then the man.  Until men can be impregnated, the tendency for women to leave the workplace and raise kids will aways impact wages.

    So, kirchoff, as my stats teacher used to say: the numbers don't lie, we lie with the numbers.

     
    Five years? In which of the jobs you've managed to keep for more than a few days did Women take off five years for maternity?



  • Many women do actually decide to stay home with their kids until they are in school.



  • @TunnelRat said:

    Many women do actually decide to stay home with their kids until they are in school.

    Perhaps he's never heard of a "stay at home mother".   Some women take off longer than 5 years.
     



  • @tster said:

    @TunnelRat said:

    Many women do actually decide to stay home with their kids until they are in school.

    Perhaps he's never heard of a "stay at home mother".   Some women take off longer than 5 years.
     

    Regardless, the basic claim is (at least, in so far as it cannot reasonably be interpreted as sexism) sound: women, on average, have fewer years of work experience.



  • @Random832 said:

    Regardless, the basic claim is (at least, in so far as it cannot reasonably be interpreted as sexism) sound: women, on average, have fewer years of work experience.

    In my circle of acquaintances, there are several women who did not pursue a specifc career when they were in their 20s, but studied whatever seemed to cause little work, switched disciplines several times (in Austria this is easily possible) and finaly dropped out without a degree. Needless to say that they have fewer years of work experience even without kids.



  • @ammoQ said:

    @Random832 said:

    Regardless, the basic claim is (at least, in so far as it cannot reasonably be interpreted as sexism) sound: women, on average, have fewer years of work experience.

    In my circle of acquaintances, there are several women who did not pursue a specifc career when they were in their 20s, but studied whatever seemed to cause little work, switched disciplines several times (in Austria this is easily possible) and finaly dropped out without a degree. Needless to say that they have fewer years of work experience even without kids.

    So what the hell does that have to do with the conversation?  You know some women who are lazy, so therefore it's true that women have less work experience than men?
     



  • @shadowman said:

     
    Five years? In which of the jobs you've managed to keep for more than a few days did Women take off five years for maternity?

    I can say that the DC metro area is not representative of the rest of the world. Despite what the uptight, always-rushing, money-chasing, type-A, SUV-driving, MBA-earning residents of MD, VA, and DC will tell you, [i]it is still OK for a woman to be a mother to her children[/i].



  • @shadowman said:

    So what the hell does that have to do with the conversation?  You know some women who are lazy, so therefore it's true that women have less work experience than men?

    I'm just saying that there can be more than one explanation for an observable phenomenon. Of course it's dangerous and politically incorrect to generalize. 



  • @djork said:

    @shadowman said:

     
    Five years? In which of the jobs you've managed to keep for more than a few days did Women take off five years for maternity?

    I can say that the DC metro area is not representative of the rest of the world. Despite what the uptight, always-rushing, money-chasing, type-A, SUV-driving, MBA-earning residents of MD, VA, and DC will tell you, [i]it is still OK for a woman to be a mother to her children[/i].

    LOL   😉

    Well at least I can say I don't have the MBA....  
     


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