The Geezer's War Stories: How to Win Friends and Influence Lawmakers

GOG

Hey, Kids! Do you know what time it is? It's War Story Time!

The discussion over yonder reminded me of the time I bought The Silmarillion. So pull up a chair, grab a cuppa, and listen.

Must've been 1991, or so, when I saw on the telly that there was a new edition of The Silmarillion coming out in Poland. The previous one came out in the Seventies and was long out of print, so you can see why I was excited.

The year 1991 was a strange one in Poland, what with Communism just recently collapsed and the nation desperately scrabbling to eke out some manner of existence whilst doing a speed run of the Stages of Capitalism, in order to catch up with the West. The economy was shit, inflation was rampant, the old social order had broken down, with the new yet to be established. Fun times!

In the prevailing climate, expecting to simply trot down to the local book store and pick up a copy was wildly optimistic. However, living in Warsaw and being an enterprising young lad, I had the brilliant thought: the publisher has a company book store at their headquarters. I'll simply buy direct from them.

Turned out the book store was actually a stand in the company cafeteria; open to the public, but during office hours only. Arriving after school, I found the doors shut for the day.

As fate would have it, shortly after my first failed attempt to procure the work, school let out early, so I got straight on the bus and headed into town. This time, I managed to get in and secure the coveted book.

Having got my hands on it, I did what any avid reader would do in the situation: I started reading it immediately, deciding to take a leisurely stroll back towards home along a slightly different path than the one I arrived by.

It will be important to note, at this point, that the publisher was located on ul. Wiejska, which is also the location of our ~~national circus~~Parliament. My chosen route back would lead right past the legislative assembly.

Fully engrossed in my reading, I didn't realize I'd walked straight into a major protest taking place in front of it until I was right smack in the centre. Can't remember what was being protested - there were so many things in those days - but it could be described as peaceful only with some effort. Naturally, getting the hell out of there became my first priority.

Needless to say, subsequent ventures into the general vicinity of Parliament were preceded by a scan of the papers to see if protests were expected.