Distracted Kid
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@scarlet_manuka I don't think that has ever succeeded, yet. In fact, most of the time, the script is for a conversation that never happens at all.
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@hardwaregeek Perhaps you need to start off with smaller, easier scripts?
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@rhywden said in Distracted Kid:
yelling in her face
Hmmm.... I think people are getting the wrong image here.
But yes, what I am actually doing still fits your point.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
That's the thing. We have to get on her a lot to keep her focused. We have to raise our voices often to get her to snap out of it. Not being mean or anything, just loud and in her face.
I had a teacher that would randomly raise his voice when explaining things. It helped me a lot to pay attention at him. OTOH the other kids didn't like it, and hated him.
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@scarlet_manuka said in Distracted Kid:
@hardwaregeek Perhaps you need to start off with smaller, easier scripts?
For example, script en_0_gr-ini-1_unk-ss-gr1-br0-start (parsed to two deep, 97 percentile likelihood or better, random four, pretty printed):
0> [nvc->"moods,happy, visual"][dic->"greetings, main, direct"]
1< [41:dic->"uncertainty utterances"]? [31:dc->"greetings"]?
1> [dic->"interrogation, topic, general, anon"][nvc->"moods,happy, visual"]2< [9:ppc->"mood tones"][31:dc->"greetings, main, unknown"]!
2> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,happy, visual"]3< [30:nvc->"acknowledgements, visual"].
3> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,calm, visual"]4< [77:dic->"interrogation phrases"][80:nvc->"moods,annoyed, visual"][80:prc->"mood tones,annoyed"]
4> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,calm, visual"][prc->"mood tones, persuasive"]
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@sockpuppet7 said in Distracted Kid:
@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
That's the thing. We have to get on her a lot to keep her focused. We have to raise our voices often to get her to snap out of it. Not being mean or anything, just loud and in her face.
I had a teacher that would randomly raise his voice when explaining things. It helped me a lot to pay attention at him. OTOH the other kids didn't like it, and hated him.
I've been trying to teach her my mechanism of coping, which is basically I check every few seconds to minutes whether something needs my attention by setting a "timer" in my brain to remind me to check.
After explaining that, she seems a bit better (she actually finished dinner and managed to put her shoes on in less than 30 mins), but we also found out there was some MINOR bullying at school and corrected that.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
I've been trying to teach her my mechanism of coping, which is basically I check every few seconds to minutes whether something needs my attention by setting a "timer" in my brain to remind me to check.
I used to wear a watch for this purpose. Later instances included agenda functionality...
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First, go to the doctor and get a diagnosis. You can decide on possible treatments once you have a better idea of what it is you're dealing with.
Second, start learning about the IEP process. It sounds probable your daughter needs extra resources and/or accommodation in order to access her education. Some information on how to start the process is at https://adayinourshoes.com/how-to-get-iep/ [Warning: annoying pop-ups].
Home schooling, while expensive in time, can be quite helpful, but it seems to me to be more appropriate for an inflexible bureaucracy problem than a medical problem.
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@tsaukpaetra said in Distracted Kid:
@scarlet_manuka said in Distracted Kid:
@hardwaregeek Perhaps you need to start off with smaller, easier scripts?
For example, script en_0_gr-ini-1_unk-ss-gr1-br0-start (parsed to two deep, 97 percentile likelihood or better, random four, pretty printed):
0> [nvc->"moods,happy, visual"][dic->"greetings, main, direct"]
1< [41:dic->"uncertainty utterances"]? [31:dc->"greetings"]?
1> [dic->"interrogation, topic, general, anon"][nvc->"moods,happy, visual"]2< [9:ppc->"mood tones"][31:dc->"greetings, main, unknown"]!
2> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,happy, visual"]3< [30:nvc->"acknowledgements, visual"].
3> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,calm, visual"]4< [77:dic->"interrogation phrases"][80:nvc->"moods,annoyed, visual"][80:prc->"mood tones,annoyed"]
4> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,calm, visual"][prc->"mood tones, persuasive"]Reverse R code written inside arrays next to each other? what is this? :/
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
@sockpuppet7 said in Distracted Kid:
@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
That's the thing. We have to get on her a lot to keep her focused. We have to raise our voices often to get her to snap out of it. Not being mean or anything, just loud and in her face.
I had a teacher that would randomly raise his voice when explaining things. It helped me a lot to pay attention at him. OTOH the other kids didn't like it, and hated him.
I've been trying to teach her my mechanism of coping, which is basically I check every few seconds to minutes whether something needs my attention by setting a "timer" in my brain to remind me to check.
After explaining that, she seems a bit better (she actually finished dinner and managed to put her shoes on in less than 30 mins), but we also found out there was some MINOR bullying at school and corrected that.
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@stillwater said in Distracted Kid:
@tsaukpaetra said in Distracted Kid:
@scarlet_manuka said in Distracted Kid:
@hardwaregeek Perhaps you need to start off with smaller, easier scripts?
For example, script en_0_gr-ini-1_unk-ss-gr1-br0-start (parsed to two deep, 97 percentile likelihood or better, random four, pretty printed):
0> [nvc->"moods,happy, visual"][dic->"greetings, main, direct"]
1< [41:dic->"uncertainty utterances"]? [31:dc->"greetings"]?
1> [dic->"interrogation, topic, general, anon"][nvc->"moods,happy, visual"]2< [9:ppc->"mood tones"][31:dc->"greetings, main, unknown"]!
2> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,happy, visual"]3< [30:nvc->"acknowledgements, visual"].
3> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,calm, visual"]4< [77:dic->"interrogation phrases"][80:nvc->"moods,annoyed, visual"][80:prc->"mood tones,annoyed"]
4> [dic->"greetings,introduction"][nvc->"moods,calm, visual"][prc->"mood tones, persuasive"]Reverse R code written inside arrays next to each other? what is this? :/
It an interpretation of a dynamic linked list of linked list references of references of linked list references. With expansion of the default interpreted auto property. Well, part of one anyways. And in a lossy format that maintains almost no real useful data, TBH...
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
@sockpuppet7 said in Distracted Kid:
@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
That's the thing. We have to get on her a lot to keep her focused. We have to raise our voices often to get her to snap out of it. Not being mean or anything, just loud and in her face.
I had a teacher that would randomly raise his voice when explaining things. It helped me a lot to pay attention at him. OTOH the other kids didn't like it, and hated him.
I've been trying to teach her my mechanism of coping, which is basically I check every few seconds to minutes whether something needs my attention by setting a "timer" in my brain to remind me to check.
After explaining that, she seems a bit better (she actually finished dinner and managed to put her shoes on in less than 30 mins), but we also found out there was some MINOR bullying at school and corrected that.
Sounds like she may have a more severe version of what you have/had. I agree with @Greybeard, get a diagnosis. If you never got one for yourself you should probably do that too. While true in general, in this situation I really think having more information would be better and make helping your daughter that much easier.
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Doctor seemed pretty quick to jump to medication.
He also referred to ADHD, which was odd because I don't see any hyperactivity. I don't know if the medication prescribed would be any different. Given the effort it took to get into this appointment, I'm reluctant to see another doctor, but I'm leaning towards getting a second opinion.
I really wish I could get a different education that fit my child rather than having to use meds to shoehorn her into a one size fits all classroom setting.
If I didn't have to work a job to secure our income, I would homeschool her.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
Doctor seemed pretty quick to jump to medication.
He also referred to ADHD, which was odd because I don't see any hyperactivity. I don't know if the medication prescribed would be any different. Given the effort it took to get into this appointment, I'm reluctant to see another doctor, but I'm leaning towards getting a second opinion.
I really wish I could get a different education that fit my child rather than having to use meds to shoehorn her into a one size fits all classroom setting.
If I didn't have to work a job to secure our income, I would homeschool her.
Was this a pediatrician or a specialist (and what kind)? How did the doctor evaluate her?
Maybe try and find a psychologist who will try behavioral therapy first.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
Doctor seemed pretty quick to jump to medication.
He also referred to ADHD, which was odd because I don't see any hyperactivity. I don't know if the medication prescribed would be any different. Given the effort it took to get into this appointment, I'm reluctant to see another doctor, but I'm leaning towards getting a second opinion.
An ADHD diagnosis doesn't necessarily need both to be fulfilled - either of the two conditions can lead to the diagnosis. It's an OR conditon, not AND and not XOR either.
I really wish I could get a different education that fit my child rather than having to use meds to shoehorn her into a one size fits all classroom setting.
You really shouldn't look at it this way. Yes, drugs sound scary. And yes, they may be the wrong thing for your child.
They may however be the right thing as well. And in that case it will help enormously. Consider the long run: At some point your child will have to fend for herself. That is what you need to consider, the ultimate task for any parent: "Does this help my child to become more independent?"
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@rhywden Yeah but a doctor who jumps straight to drugs without trying anything else strikes me as a doctor who's getting payola from the drug companies. Assuming Xaade is in the US. That's a huge problem here.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
Doctor seemed pretty quick to jump to medication.
He also referred to ADHD, which was odd because I don't see any hyperactivity. I don't know if the medication prescribed would be any different. Given the effort it took to get into this appointment, I'm reluctant to see another doctor, but I'm leaning towards getting a second opinion.
I really wish I could get a different education that fit my child rather than having to use meds to shoehorn her into a one size fits all classroom setting.
If I didn't have to work a job to secure our income, I would homeschool her.
If it's a boredom issue, a different education system won't help. She may be less bored, but she needs to be able to handle doing things she doesn't like. Unless they have a way of predicting ahead of time, you need to assume she'll have these issues into adulthood. If you confidently knew her "severity" was such that it's say 90% likely to go away by her late teens or early 20s, then maybe a different education style would be the right step.
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@blakeyrat said in Distracted Kid:
@rhywden Yeah but a doctor who jumps straight to drugs without trying anything else strikes me as a doctor who's getting payola from the drug companies. Assuming Xaade is in the US. That's a huge problem here.
You'll note that I didn't tell him not to seek a second opinion. Yes, overdiagnosis and lazy doctors is a problem.
There's also the problem that sometimes it is not an overdiagnosis but an actual condition.
I'd be leery of any doctor who doesn't prescribe a multimodal approach, though. Drugs alone will not solve the problem.
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@blakeyrat said in Distracted Kid:
@rhywden Yeah but a doctor who jumps straight to drugs without trying anything else strikes me as a doctor who's getting payola from the drug companies. Assuming Xaade is in the US. That's a huge problem here.
I don't necessarily assume financial motive but potentially just lazy to not discuss other options along with drugs.
Have you seen this doctor before? Does he/she normally jump to a single solutions when there are other options?
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@blakeyrat said in Distracted Kid:
@rhywden Yeah but a doctor who jumps straight to drugs without trying anything else strikes me as a doctor who's getting payola from the drug companies. Assuming Xaade is in the US. That's a huge problem here.
Knowing the doctor, I don't feel it's money driven, but rather a professional ignorance.
Not from a consistently ignorant standpoint, but rather from a suspicion that one cannot know everything very thoroughly.
@karla said in Distracted Kid:
Have you seen this doctor before? Does he/she normally jump to a single solutions when there are other options?
Not normally.
However, people tend to have niches. Trying to cover everything a child can go through in an introductory session should lead to some gaps.
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@rhywden said in Distracted Kid:
There's also the problem that sometimes it is not an overdiagnosis but an actual condition.
Fair enough.
@rhywden said in Distracted Kid:
I'd be leery of any doctor who doesn't prescribe a multimodal approach, though. Drugs alone will not solve the problem.
He recommended talking to a.... what was the word... psychiatrist?
But that wasn't nearly focused on enough for me to not feel concern.
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That all said, I did get a chance to talk to him directly, and he did discuss
@rhywden said in Distracted Kid:
An ADHD diagnosis doesn't necessarily need both to be fulfilled
So I felt better about it after that.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
He also referred to ADHD, which was odd because I don't see any hyperactivity.
It's a common variant to have just ADD without the H, and the medication is the same.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
He recommended talking to a.... what was the word... psychiatrist?
That sounds like excellent advice.
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
psychiatrist
Yes. Any sort of psychological or emotional issue that might require medication, a psychiatrist would be the doctor to see. A psychiatrist is an MD who specializes in psychological problems, as contrasted with a psychologist who is not an MD and cannot prescribe medication. And as also contrasted with a general practice MD who can, of course, prescribe medication but probably lacks the specialized knowledge of psychological problems that the psychiatrist has. When I was on medication, my primary care physician tried one particular medication, but said that if it didn't work (it didn't), everything else was a stimulant/controlled substance, would require supervised experimentation to find the right dose, she didn't deal with that stuff, and I'd have to go to a specialist (psychiatrist). (FWIW, most of what he tried didn't help all that much, either, unlike my son's pediatrician, who hit a home run on the first try.)
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This post is deleted!
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@xaade said in Distracted Kid:
@rhywden said in Distracted Kid:
There's also the problem that sometimes it is not an overdiagnosis but an actual condition.
Fair enough.
@rhywden said in Distracted Kid:
I'd be leery of any doctor who doesn't prescribe a multimodal approach, though. Drugs alone will not solve the problem.
He recommended talking to a.... what was the word... psychiatrist?
But that wasn't nearly focused on enough for me to not feel concern.
Many psychiatrists only focus on the meds. If you can find one who will also try behavioral therapy that would be probably work. But that was why I suggested psychologist because they can't prescribe meds they have to use other treatments.
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@karla said in Distracted Kid:
Many psychiatrists only focus on the meds. If you can find one who will also try behavioral therapy that would be probably work. But that was why I suggested psychologist because they can't prescribe meds they have to use other treatments.
As always it depends. You may just have to shop around to find one who fits your "style". And you can work with a psychologist and a psychiatrist at the same time. After working with a psychologist for a year or so he referred me to a psychiatrist but the psych was totally okay with the fact that I didn't want meds. He made a lot of nutrition, sleep hygiene, etc. suggestions that worked well for me.
Also, I was incredibly amused to find this excerpt in his eval when I had to pull it many years later:
"The patient presented as a young white male dressed neatly in tee shirt and jeans. He's somewhat effeminate."
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Ok, so we're getting great progress with her main teacher. Medication is working great for her. Even home is much easier to get her attention and keep her focused on a task and memory.
Then..... I get an email from the PE teacher saying my girl isn't participating and she can't get her attention. She mentions this has been going on for weeks now. "I want her to enjoy PE."
I shoot off an email CCing in her home teacher and saying it's a known issue, and that we've had success, so just wait it out for a bit.
Then.... I get to the point where I may have dumped some of my stored up shit about PE. I basically tell the teacher that as a child, I didn't enjoy PE at all, so the best she may be looking forward to is my daughter tolerating PE and following directions. I explained that the bland indoor environment, structured activities, just weren't my thing and that spontaneous and/or self-directed activity was much more likely to be successful in keeping her occupied and physically engaged. I also explained that getting her attention from any distance is not going to work right now. Again, be patient, let's see if we get better results.
IOW, a very polite version of fuck your stupid education system, and fuck your one size fits all bullshit, which is an opinion I try my best to keep close to the chest, so to speak.
My dad told me that a lot of my problems began when they cut recess down from an hour to 15 minutes and increased classes (including PE) from 1 hour to 1.5 hours.
Afterwards, I shot off an email to the wife saying that my care level for this situation is .00000001%.
As long as she's performing in the scholarly pursuits, and she's comfortable being physically active, physical education can take a backseat until we get more control over this situation.
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@xaade Yeah, that's a routine problem in schools. Kids are not going to be talented or even interested in everything they do. I hated PE myself, being the stereotypical computer guy. The worst thing you can do is give someone the idea there is something wrong with them if they don't like it.
Not to say PE shouldn't be a subject everyone has. It teaches a lot of good skills in teamwork, physical activity, and for me when I was growing up, it went into some of the science of health, nutrition, and the human body sometimes. But spare me the "oh this kid should enjoy it like everyone else! Get help!" BS.
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@the_quiet_one I didn't enjoy it much as well. Since all the good grades were seemingly tailored towards the Olympic Athlete end of things I wasn't too motivated.
Except for dodgeball. I dodged the shit out of the ball. One time I was the last man standing and they tried to hit me for ten minutes straight. I was freakin' Neo!
Didn't matter because catching the ball is also part of the game which I wasn't good at.I also remember coming back to school from having a serious pneumonia which had reduced my lung capacity from a normal 4 liters to half a liter. The fucking PE teacher wanted to have a doctor's note for every PE lesson that school year. Thankfully, my mother disabused her of that notion very quickly because I couldn't even go up one flight of stairs without having to catch my breath.
