On call support



  • Yes I worked once in Help Desk support on call. What the heck! who doesnt?

    User: Can you help me I have just patched my system and my "bills to pay" screen is frozen.

    Support: How frozen is it? Is windows still running?

    User: How can I now that?

    Support: Can you move your mouse?

    User: Yes, I can...

    Support: Ok, sounds good, your system isn´t totally broken.

    User: ...Sir, I dont know if this is important but the pointer in the screen that uses to move at same time as the mouse isn´t moving.

    (duh)

     



  • That is a WTF - a user that not only literally answered the question that was asked, but also provided the information Support was poorly attempting to ask for.  That's a rare moment in Help Desk land.



  • TGIWJO!

    🙂 

     

     

     

     

     

    (thank god it was just once)



  • That would have to be one serious software problem for the user to not be able to physically move the mouse around on the desk.



  • @Saladin said:

    That would have to be one serious software problem for the user to not be able to physically move the mouse around on the desk.

    It's usually caused by them getting the mouse cord trapped under their monitor.

    (Yes, it's a sufficiently common problem for me to have a default guess at the cause. I hate users)
     



  • If I remember well, computer stupidities reported a user not being able to move his cursor further on screen because he reached his mousepad limit.



  • @aikii said:

    If I remember well, computer stupidities reported a user not being able to move his cursor further on screen because he reached his mousepad limit.


     There was a dilbert comic I'm trying to find....

     


    Dogbert's Tech support....


    PHB:My mouse is at the end of the pad, but I need to move it farther right.

    Dogbert:Have you tried rebooting without saving your work?

    PHB: Countless times.

    Dogbert: Hmmm, you'll have to buy our $50 mousepad extender.
     



  • Yes, it really does pay to ask the right questions.

    Here's a (admittedly long) story with a similar moral, albeit with a keyboard instead of a mouse.  

    ME: Tech support, This is xxxxxxx speaking, how can I help you?
    Idiot User: (This is an Asian caller with a thick accent, and keeps mangling words.) Um..yes?
    Me: How can I help you sir?
    I.U.: Um..I don't know.
    Me: Well...I really need something to go on here. What kind of problems are you having?
    I.U: Um..I don't know what I did.
    Me: Okay..and....?
    I.U: Well..I don't know.
    Me: Again, I really need more to go on than that.
    I.U: Well..I um..I put a sheep on the keyboard, and now it don't work.
    Me: What?
    I.U: I said I put the sheep on the keyboard, and it don't work now.
    Me: Okay..what exactly do you mean by "sheep"?
    I.U: A SHEEP. I put it on the keyboard and now it don't work!
    Me: Well there's no need to shout. Can I put you on hold for a moment?
    I.U: Yes.
    So I put him on hold, and by now I'm just trying to figure out what a "sheep" is, and trying not to laugh. I asked one of the senior members on the team if he has any clue what is going on.
    This person, having no sense of humor whatsoever, and not seeing where this call is obviously going to end up, says "Maybe it's that sheep screen saver. I've heard it can lock up computers"
    'Thanks, I'll ask him"
    *
    Me: okaaay....thanks for holding. Are you telling me this is a screen saver?
    I.U: NO! It is a SHEEP on my keyboard!
    Me: Are you saying "sheep"? (I then spell it out, using "p" for Paul at the end)
    I.U: Yes! You don't understand ENGLISH?
    Me:(Getting harder to avoid laughing) Alrighty then. So you say the keyboard is not working, correct?
    I.U: Yes.
    Me: Can you use your mouse?
    I.U: Yes.
    Me: Okay. Let's try a few things. First, click on Start, then click shutdown ,and follow the normal method you use to turn of the computer.
    I.U: I can't do that.
    Me: Why?
    I.U: Because I normally use my keyboard and I can't do that now because it doesn't work because of the sheep.
    Me: (Everyone else is off their calls and listening in. The snickering in the background was not helping me at all)Okay. well let's pretend you don't have a keyboard ,and use the mouse to shut your system off.
    I.U: Why?
    Me: Why what?
    I.U: Why do I have to use the mouse?
    Me: Because you said you have a sheep on your keyboard, and it doesn't work.
    IU: Are you making fun of me?
    Me: What? No. I'm just repeating what you've told me.
    IU: Okay. The computer is off.
    Me: Good. can you see the back of your computer?
    IU: No. It is facing the other way.
    Again, he goes on hold, because I can't NOT laugh any more. Tears were welling up in my eyes because I was fighting so hard not to laugh. About a minute later, I've regained most of my composure and go back on the phone.
    Me: Thanks for waiting. I had to check a couple things before going on. Okay, so the computer is off. Can you turn the system around so you can see the back?
    I.U: Yes. just a second. (Pause) I can only turn it a little bit.
    Me:(Yes, I know I was asking for it, but it had to be asked) Why?
    I.U: Because the keyboard is in the way.
    Me: Well move the keyboard then.
    I.U: Where to?
    Me: Can you just move it down to the seat of your chair, or to the side?
    I.U: No.
    Me: Why? Is the cord to short?
    I.U: NO! The sheep will fall off if I do that.
    Me: (I am now thoroughly confused) Well then..can you see if the keyboard is plugged in tightly?
    I.U: Yes. It is tight.
    Me: You're sure the fit is snug?
    I.U: Yes.
    Me: Good turn the computer back to it's original position and then turn it back on.
    I.U: But what about the sheep? It is still on my keyboard.
    Me: Is it pressing down on any keys?
    I.U: I can't tell.
    Me: And why can't you tell? (Even as I asked this question, I knew it was going to lead to the exact answer I got)
    I.U: Because the sheep is covering them.
    Me: Oh. Well try to move the sheep so you can see the keys.
    I.U: Okay. I can see my keys now. It is asking me to enter my user name now.
    Me: The sheep is asking you? (It SEEMED like a valid question, given the situation.)
    I.U: No! Windows 2000 is asking me. The sheep doesn't talk.
    Me: Okay then. Enter your user name.
    I.U: But what if the keyboard still don't work?
    Me: We'll worry about that if it happens. Please just try to enter your user name.
    I.U: Okay. It is working, but don't hang up yet. I want to make sure I can load my lotus notes and get into my mail.
    (Pause) Okay. I'm in. Do you know what happened?
    Me: Sorry. I haven't got a clue. But if I were you, I'd get rid of that sheep
    I.U: Okay. Thank you.
    Me: No problem. That's why were here. bye.



  • Now this conversation thoroughly confuses me. What was it that was on his keyboard? Have I read over something?

    I mean...a sheep? What was he talking about?



  • @Nezzar said:

    Now this conversation thoroughly confuses me. What was it that was on his keyboard? Have I read over something?

    I mean...a sheep? What was he talking about?

    The only thing I can think of is that it was a sheet (of paper, perhaps?). But who knows?



  • No idea. I just think that beside being funny, it's a good lesson in asking the right thing, and giving the right instructions. The whole thing could have ended 1/10th of the way in, had he said "take the sheep off of the keyboard"



  • @RayS said:

    Me: Can you just move it down to the seat of your chair, or to the side?
    I.U: No.
    Me: Why? Is the cord to short?
    I.U: NO! The sheep will fall off if I do that.
    Me: (I am now thoroughly confused) Well then..can you see if the keyboard is plugged in tightly?

     

    And here is where you lost me... I swore, the user was trying to say that he put the keyboard "ASLEEP" but because of his accent it was coming out "A SHEEP".  I figured you were the dodo head who missed it since that was the very first thing I assumed when I started reading your story... but by this line, I thought "WTF does this guy mean, A SHEEP??" 

     You have my condolences sir!   And infinately more patience than me... which is why I have never ever worked tech support, other than for friends and family (which is apparently worse than doing support for strangers...)

     Seejay



  • @RayS said:


    Me: Good. can you see the back of your computer?
    IU: No. It is facing the other way.

    You gotta admit, IU has a point there...

     



  • Just to clarify, the "me" inthe story isn't me, it's the person who wrote it, whoever that was. I can't remember where I copied it from.



  • I've got my share of stupid user / IT colleague stories as well.  Along time ago, I was working in a small 3 man IT Dept.  Part of my duties was a helpdesk/technician and I got a call from one of the worker on the plant floor.  The worker told me that the PC wasn't working.  The conversation went something like this:

    Me: What do you mean the PC isn't working?

    Worker: The screen is blank.

    Me:  Is the monitor connected to the PC?

    Worker: Yes.

    Me:  Is the monitor plugged in?

    Worker: Yes

    Me: Is there the light on the monitor on?

    Worker: No, the fuse just blew so there is no power back here.

    Me:  Call the maintenance department.  If the PC doesn't start after they fix the fuse, let me know.


    I really hope the worker wasn't that stupid expecting to magically replace the fuse over the phone, but my faith in humanity isn't that high.


     


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