IRC Omegle Adventures

  • Open these two text files side-by-side and read.

    Orange piss..

    Extra context: Shocky is a programmable factoid bot, Asuna is a useless bot. OmegleDerp is the omegle bridge bot. Everyone else is human. The connection was terminated uncleanly, we never got to finish 😞

    #Log started at 07/09/14 21:39:48
    <OmegleDerp>	<00,01Connected!
    <OmegleDerp>	<hey 
    <medsouz>	>I have no healthcare and it hurts to pee
    <+Riking>	>hey
    <medsouz>	>what do I do?
    <+zetaPRIME>	>my microwave caught on fire. fml
    <OmegleDerp>	<hmmm well 
    <Asuna>	^_^
    <OmegleDerp>	<i am studing bio
    <+Riking>	>oh, great! does that mean you can help?
    <OmegleDerp>	<yeah are you male or female?
    <medsouz>	>between the burning microwave and acidic piss I'm a little terrified right now
    <medsouz>	>its kind of hard to remember my gender
    <OmegleDerp>	<hahaha 
    <+Riking>	haha
    <Asuna>	ACTION puts on jimjams
    <Asuna>	you're nothing, earth-boy! go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!
    <medsouz>	:(
    <OmegleDerp>	<i think that a you should gtfo your house
    <medsouz>	>what if I have to pee?
    <+Riking>	>it's not really *on fire* per se....
    <+zetaPRIME>	s/spider/spider/
    <OmegleDerp>	<hajahaha there is a person called a neighbppr
    <+zetaPRIME>	aww
    <medsouz>	>more like I rigged it to run with the door open
    <+zetaPRIME>	out of range
    <medsouz>	>now I can't pee normally and everything looks funny
    <OmegleDerp>	<hajaja ok you must be on drugs
    <+zetaPRIME>	>oh and uh
    <+Riking>	.?fmylife>omeglesay
    <medsouz>	do you even understand radiation poisoning :(
    <+Riking>	y/n
    <+zetaPRIME>	>is weed supposed to be bright purple
    <tmtu>	n
    <+Riking>	k
    <OmegleDerp>	<nope its meant to be red ;)
    <medsouz>	>oh so like me pee?
    <+Riking>	.>close enough for me
    <OmegleDerp>	<hahaha are tou sure its pee amd not fanta?
    <medsouz>	>well it is pretty acidic...
    <OmegleDerp>	<are you a jelly baby?
    <+zetaPRIME>	>and it doesn't taste like fanta..
    <medsouz>	>and smells faintly of oranges
    <+zetaPRIME>	herp
    <medsouz>	:<
    <OmegleDerp>	<hahaha so mabye its orange flavored blood
    <medsouz>	this guy is unphased by my urine problem
    <tmtu>	!nightmare
    <@Shocky>	ARRRRRRRRGH!!!! I had a "horrible" nightmare of a small, never ending foreskin exploding over a macabre, "bone" marrow covered flail :<
    <OmegleDerp>	<are you a man or a female species
    <+zetaPRIME>	wha
    <tmtu>	!prom
    <@Shocky>	cURL error 6: Couldn't resolve host ''
    <medsouz>	>I don't identify by your ciss genders
    <medsouz>	>I can be whatever I want whenever I want
    <+zetaPRIME>	/s/ciss/piss/
    <tmtu>	>men are such pigs
    <+zetaPRIME>	s/ciss/piss/
    <@Shocky>	/s/piss/piss/
    <+zetaPRIME>	fuck
    <Lunatrius>	Do you even regex
    <tmtu>	l2regex
    <+zetaPRIME>	s/ciss /piss /
    <@Shocky>	>I don't identify by your piss genders
    <OmegleDerp>	<i geuss your a woman or gay then 
    <+Riking>	regex fail
    <medsouz>	>The doctor said the surgery would make me gender neutral
    <OmegleDerp>	<bu
    <medsouz>	>it just makes me pee red
    <+Riking>	>orange*
    <medsouz>	>it was really expensive so I can't afford to go back :(
    <OmegleDerp>	<are you sure its not green? 
    <Lunatrius>	THis one will be good \o/
    <+zetaPRIME>	>oh fuck, brb, tv just exploded
    <medsouz>	>How dare you compare me to the Hulk
    <OmegleDerp>	<free surgury in the uk
    <OmegleDerp>	<hahaha im a fish 
    <OmegleDerp>	<i can do what ever i want m8
    <medsouz>	>Really?!
    <+zetaPRIME>	?+wait
    <@Shocky>	wait: Its a trap!
    <medsouz>	>I've never met a fish before
    <Lunatrius>	I have this odd idea
    <+zetaPRIME>	?+delay
    <+Riking>	?? | zetaPRIME 
    <OmegleDerp>	<yeah i was once a goat but i was lile yolo amd now im a fish
    <+zetaPRIME>	.r delay <lua>sleep(30) return ioru
    <+zetaPRIME>	?delay blah
    <Lunatrius>	?+sleep
    <@Shocky>	sleep: <js>args=parseInt(args);if(args>0)void java.lang.Thread.sleep(args);else"It's what smart peopole do ehwn they are too tired to spell";
    <OmegleDerp>	<you should try it 
    <@Shocky>	zetaPRIME: surprise butt sex!
    <OmegleDerp>	<#karma
    <medsouz>	ACTION is out of ideas
    <@Shocky>	blah
    <Lunatrius>	Start up 2 bots and let them talk to each other
    <Lunatrius>	\o/
    <+Riking>	>kama kama kama kama kama chameleon!
    <+Riking>	Lunatrius, that's what #omegle got hammered for
    <Lunatrius>	Oh
    <OmegleDerp>	<the biscuits are evil and they have taken me hostage
    <Lunatrius>	Shame
    <+zetaPRIME>	>mmm, biscuits
    <+Riking>	>oh! maybe I should come save you?
    <+Riking>	>then I could eat the biscuits as a reward
    <OmegleDerp>	<yes do that hahahah save me with a bananan
    <+Riking>	ACTION just "Yes, and"ed zetaPRIME 
    <OmegleDerp>	<its the key to the world
    <+Riking>	>banana gun? got it
    <+Riking>	>i'll go get that right now
    <+zetaPRIME>	>what's a bananan, is it someone from banana
    <+Riking>	>*dink*
    <+Riking>	>*CLUNK*
    <+Riking>	>*rustle rustle CSSHHHH*
    <+zetaPRIME>	>*dishwasher*
    <OmegleDerp>	<careful they are everywhere *clunk*
    <+Riking>	>found it
    <OmegleDerp>	<good now remember its very floppy 
    <OmegleDerp>	<be careful
    <medsouz>	>just the way I like it
    <OmegleDerp>	<hahahah im sure you do ;)
    <OmegleDerp>	<*bdm*tss*
    <medsouz>	>nothing worse than a fully erect banana
    <OmegleDerp>	<yeah they make a wierd whote puss at the top
    <OmegleDerp>	<white
    <medsouz>	>its white for you?
    <medsouz>	>Its never been white for me...
    <OmegleDerp>	<yeah hehehe
    <OmegleDerp>	<you have to be careful
    <OmegleDerp>	<save me
    <OmegleDerp>	<.... ok
    <+Riking>	>where are you again?
    <+Riking>	>you said you were 'studying bio'
    <OmegleDerp>	<in the deep blue sea
    <OmegleDerp>	<yeah
    <medsouz>	biological warfare
    <OmegleDerp>	<best in class
    <+Riking>	>Okay! Let's get in the car. Set destination for "Biological Warfare, Deep Blue Sea"!
    <+Riking>	>*vroom*
    <OmegleDerp>	<if i dont make it tell my pelican family that they can eat grandpa
    <+Riking>	>Okay, I've made it to Deep Blue Sea.
    <+Riking>	>where is the bio warfare studying lab?
    <medsouz>	the direction of this conversation keeps changing
    <+Riking>	i kmow
    <OmegleDerp>	<good if you see the jelly tots wìth the machine guns that wwee i am
    <medsouz>	*holds up spork*
    <OmegleDerp>	<to kill them you have to twerk and theyll melt
    <+Riking>	>i've got a sport
    <+Riking>	>spork*
    <+Riking>	>will that work?
    <OmegleDerp>	<good show them no mercy
    <+Riking>	medsouz, can you take over for a bit
    <medsouz>	o7
    <+Riking>	thx
    <medsouz>	>maximizing power on the quantum spork
    <medsouz>	>we're giving her all we got captain!
    <OmegleDerp>	<show them how we do it 
    <medsouz>	>shit I gotta pee brb
    <Lunatrius>	lol, still going?
    <medsouz>	yep
    <OmegleDerp>	<ok ill wait 
    <medsouz>	ACTION waits
    <OmegleDerp>	<*shit elevator music*
    <medsouz>	>yep it still hurts
    <medsouz>	>wow that burns
    <+Riking>	HAHAHA
    <OmegleDerp>	<i have a formula if you free me
    <medsouz>	>you see this is why I didn't want to go on this adventure
    <medsouz>	>because now I'm stuck here, on the floor, holding my pee-hole, screaming in pain
    <medsouz>	>is that what you wanted?
    <OmegleDerp>	<no dont leave me i have a butt pill
    <Lunatrius>	lol
    <OmegleDerp>	<it will help you 
    <Lunatrius>	?badgtrr no dont leave me i have a butt pill
    <medsouz>	>my butt is fine, it emits paste as usual
    <@Shocky>	I bit the bullet in my left
    <OmegleDerp>	<make you feel like a monkey
    <medsouz>	>its too viscous to throw
    <OmegleDerp>	<ok so vigina pill
    <medsouz>	>Leave Virginia out of this!
    <medsouz>	I'm losing it
    <medsouz>	halp
    <+Riking>	uhh
    <+Riking>	>okay, back from the bathroom
    <OmegleDerp>	<ok get your head in the game
    <+Riking>	>hey, what's this container? it has a yellow red and blue sign on it, and another one that's yellow and black
    <+Riking>	>or is that orange?
    <OmegleDerp>	<oh just some of my toys dont open it
    <OmegleDerp>	<it contains some dark secrets
    <medsouz>	his spiked dildo collection
    <+Riking>	>a spiked dildo collection?
    <medsouz>	you have one too
    <OmegleDerp>	<yes and the biggest vibrating multi suction throbving dildo in the world
    <OmegleDerp>	<i use it to pleasure my guests
    <+Riking>	>nice. okay, so I can use this to kill the jelly guards
    <+Riking>	>the spork
    <tmtu>	!gary
    <@Shocky>	embraced
    <OmegleDerp>	<and take the dildo as well
    <+Riking>	got it
    <tmtu>	>wanna hear a story?
    <OmegleDerp>	<ok about a baby?
    <+Riking>	go for it
    <tmtu>	!erofic>omeglesay
    <@Shocky>	>'50s Kinzie didn't even expect to get horny from seeing two people who were obviously the same person making love, but she did. Perhaps escaping her own simulation made her morals go away. As the unknown woman climaxed, so did she. She didn't have time to relax though, she had to hitch a ride with the other sim, as her real counterpart said, "Won't you guys hurry? Someone could come in any minute!"
    <OmegleDerp>	<i like baby
    <tmtu>	>i write erotic fiction in my spare time
    <OmegleDerp>	<more morw
    <Lunatrius>	lol
    <tmtu>	!erofic>omeglesay
    <@Shocky>	>"Leo Leonardo the Third," Leo's mother said, angered, "what is the meaning of this?!" She couldn't believe her son from the future would go back in time to attack her, however, she also didn't expect what came next. "Just relax," Leo said. He then stuck his dick inside her mother, and immediately came. He wasn't done yet, though, and continued to ram her. His mother was angered, yet aroused. Is this really her son?
    <tmtu>	gary would be popular on omegle i bet
    <OmegleDerp>	<please more im getting hard mate
    <OmegleDerp>	<jks your good 
    <OmegleDerp>	<any morw?
    <+Riking>	>sure, one mroe
    <+Riking>	!erofic>omeglesay
    <@Shocky>	>"Leo!" Aeris and her clone simultaneously screamed when they climaxed, their pussies still fixed against each other, throbbing, gushing with pussy juice. Aeris was glad she figured out how to clone herself, although now she craved for Leo's cat-dick. She was not the only one.
    <tmtu>	lol
    <OmegleDerp>	<wow are you a lady??
    <tmtu>	too bad we didn't get the glue one
    <tmtu>	!erofic
    <@Shocky>	Princess Bubblegum cried. "What's wrong?" Marceline said, stroking her sticky, naked body. "When the morrow comes, you will be gone," she replied. "No," the vampire queen replied. "I will still be here tomorrow." "No, I mean, my bird, the Morrow." Princess Bubblegum then pointed at her falcon. Marceline then had a devious smile. "I have an idea..." They both then proceeded to have sex on the bird, while the Morrow had a frown.
    <tmtu>	!erofic
    <@Shocky>	Not only were Kat and Ana tied together with a double ended vibrator glued inside them, they were also magically bound. By the time they could break free, the next Super Smash Bros. would be released, giving Ashley free reign to emerge as Assist Trophy.
    <tmtu>	Lunatrius: are we?
    <Lunatrius>	what
    <tmtu>	a lady
    <tmtu>	see above
    <Lunatrius>	Think so
    <+Riking>	i think no
    <OmegleDerp>	<just asking because men surely cant write such good stories
    <+Riking>	we never answered
    <+Riking>	well there's our answer
    <+Riking>	>most definitely
    <medsouz>	didn't we say both?
    <OmegleDerp>	<your female?
    <OmegleDerp>	<how old?
    <medsouz>	>I am now
    <tmtu>	uhh
    <medsouz>	23?
    <+Riking>	oh yeah
    <tmtu>	19?
    <medsouz>	>19
    <OmegleDerp>	<no come on really whats your real gender
    <tmtu>	wat
    <tmtu>	is he smart
    <OmegleDerp>	<do you have kik because your amazing to talk to
    <medsouz>	>I am female
    <medsouz>	ACK
    <medsouz>	SO MUCH KIK
    <OmegleDerp>	<cool
    <tmtu>	kik
    <medsouz>	my little brother uses kik
    <OmegleDerp>	<your amazing
    <tmtu>	medsouz: ahahah
    <tmtu>	give him his
    <medsouz>	haha
    <medsouz>	thats a good idea
    <OmegleDerp>	<with those ssey stories damn did you make me horny
    <tmtu>	rofl
    <medsouz>	not going to though
    <medsouz>	oh god
    <Lunatrius>	lol
    <tmtu>	gary would enjoy this i bet
    <tmtu>	!erofic
    <@Shocky>	"Leo!" Aeris and her clone simultaneously screamed when they climaxed, their pussies still fixed against each other, throbbing, gushing with pussy juice. Aeris was glad she figured out how to clone herself, although now she craved for Leo's cat-dick. She was not the only one.
    <tmtu>	!erofic
    <@Shocky>	"Oh Velma," Marcy yelled, while Velma, holding her naked, sweaty, like hot dog water smelling body against her own naked body, fingered the aptly nicknamed teen until she finally climaxed and nearly collapsed in Velma's arms, in pure bliss.
    <medsouz>	>:)
    <OmegleDerp>	<can you write more

    At this point, the OmegleDerp bot timed out - the IRC connection was dropped for some reason.

  • Also consider URL guessing to read the ones before and after this, and new ones as they happen..

  • LOL the bot got banned from omegle.

  • What's the tl;dr; here? Because....TL;DR;

  • Riking found an open source omegle bot, let it run and talk to other omegle bots, got Bens markov chain.

  • Maybe him and Ben should just discuss this in a Private Message and the rest of us can remain happily ignorant.

  • It's like any other chat log I've ever read. Half of the stuff I don't understand, other half I don't care.

Log in to reply

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.