You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.
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I choose whatever they're planning to eat for lunch.
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@ben_lubar Their tunnel vision.
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@ben_lubar said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
I choose whatever they're planning to eat for lunch.
In that case I choose their toilet paper.
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I vote their kidney, the one with the kidney stone in it. The lack of destructability implies the inability to remove them.
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Their downfall.
Ok, not really owned by them, except on some chonese philosophical level.
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@ben_lubar said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
I choose whatever they're planning to eat for lunch.
I choose to make their favorite dildo/vibrator indestructable.
because maybe if they were able to have a good session without breaking their toys they would stop trying to destroy the world.
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@Perverted_Vixen said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
they would stop trying to destroy the world.
Holy shit, you have quite the nemesisses... nemesi? neme... whatever, point is: You have quite them!
Filed Under: I won't make anything indestructible. That just seems like effort better spent elsewhere
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Since making something indestructible makes it so it can't be broken, I choose that their word can't be broken: anything that they promise to do, they absolutely must try to achieve no matter the cost to themselves.
(Hey, it's a virtual object, but it still counts, yes?)
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@Kuro said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
@Perverted_Vixen said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
they would stop trying to destroy the world.
Holy shit, you have quite the nemesisses... nemesi? neme... whatever, point is: You have quite them!
Filed Under: I won't make anything indestructible. That just seems like effort better spent elsewhere
Plot twist: her nemesis is @accalia.
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Their browser history.
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If it's only indestructible while it belongs to them, their gut bacteria. Immune system can't destroy and they're dead in less than 24h.
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His lawn. Because no one deserves a broken lawn.
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@Kuro said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
@Perverted_Vixen said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
they would stop trying to destroy the world.
Holy shit, you have quite the nemesisses... nemesi? neme... whatever, point is: You have quite them!
I know, right?!
And she's always yelling at me to pick my clothes up off the floor and put them back on. It's a real mood killer you know? She'd be much happier if she was getting some.
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Their dead skin cells. Now, I know that sounds like it'd be advantageous, but hear me out. In the short term, sure it would; their skin gradually grows this hard, dry, rock-like shell... thicker and thicker... without the super-strength to carry that? Eventually they'd be unable to move at all. They'd suffocate under the weight of their own skin.
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their broken, old car.
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@da-Doctah said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
Their browser history.
You monster.
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@anotherusername
Same could be done with hair ... but the effect will be slower but also more ... amusing.Or nails ... soon they will be walking barefoot
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@Luhmann actually, the idea of hair had occurred to me...
pubic hair...
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My nemesis is going to be flying around in a jet fighter (because they'd better be an awesome nemesis or else!) but they've got one slight problem: the explosive bolts on their ejector seat are indestructible! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
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@anotherusername said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
pubic hair...
Hence the amusing part
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Their mind. Because if their mind was sound perhaps they wouldn't be my nemesis?
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What about one of their object's
__destruct()
?
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@Tsaukpaetra ooh. A mind that's indestructible, inside a body that isn't... now that's pretty evil.
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@dkf said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
Since making something indestructible makes it so it can't be broken, I choose that their word can't be broken: anything that they promise to do, they absolutely must try to achieve no matter the cost to themselves.
(Hey, it's a virtual object, but it still counts, yes?)
Have you read The Wheel of Time? It explores that concept in an interesting way.
All of the Aes Sedai (an order of sorceresses, essentially) are magically bound to be unable to speak any word that is not true. This was intended to make them inherently trustworthy. But because of how inconvenient it is, the Aes Sedai get very good at double-talk, to the point where it becomes proverbial that "the truth an Aes Sedai says may not be the truth you thought you heard," and so nobody trusts them!
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@masonwheeler Yes, but like everything in that series it sounds sort of good from a description, but even then you can start to see the pathetic, over-done quality that radiates from every word of that atrocious story.
I mean, you could have brought up a good series like Earthsea, but you went for something that spends at least 5 books worth of words on, "using this power feels good but is dangerous", "these people don't like eachother", and "these people don't like their destiny".
:/
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@Magus said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
a good series like Earthsea
Umm?
I tried reading that, I really did. I actually made it through the first book somehow, then I stopped, because the whole thing was one big, long, sloooooow buildup towards a climax that somehow never arrived. I kept waiting (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting) for something interesting to happen, and then it never did. Even at the end, when the wizard finally confronts the bad guy who's been causing trouble the entire story, there is literally no confrontation! For the life of me I can't see the point of that book is or why so many people hold it up as this awesome fantasy story.
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@masonwheeler And yet if the same plot had been written by the author of the Wheel of Monotony, it would have taken 16 books, two of his own death, and 83 characters who all hate eachother, themselves, and the universe itself. Not to mention 3842 new words that have to be explained every time they show up.
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@Magus Yes, yes, I get it. It was so horrifically boring that every single volume became a massive bestseller. That's how much no one wanted to read it because of how boring it was.
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@masonwheeler "But it sold well, it has to be good!" is the same logic that causes a new Call of Duty game to be released every year.
Except that those have at least some general appeal.
Oh, and "bestseller"? You mean the thing that nearly any book you ever see says on the front? So valuable.
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@Magus said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
Oh, and "bestseller"? You mean the thing that nearly any book you ever see says on the front? So valuable.
No, I mean:
as of 2017, the series has sold over 80 million copies worldwide, and is the best selling epic fantasy series since The Lord of the Rings.
-- WikipediaApparently there are a whole lot of fantasy fans out there who disagree with your assessment!
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@masonwheeler Why are you appealing to the popularity of the series you like while dismissing the popularity of the series you didn't like?
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@coderpatsy Well, for starters, how many copies did the Earthsea books sell? (Hint: not nearly as many as the Wheel of Time books did...)
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The seal on their Tylenol bottle :D
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@anotherusername said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
Their dead skin cells. Now, I know that sounds like it'd be advantageous, but hear me out. In the short term, sure it would; their skin gradually grows this hard, dry, rock-like shell... thicker and thicker... without the super-strength to carry that? Eventually they'd be unable to move at all. They'd suffocate under the weight of their own skin.
There's actually a disease that does this, I found out today on Seriously Strange...
[spoilered -bl]
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@masonwheeler Good things often don't sell as well as generic/somewhat bad things.
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@masonwheeler Technically, you have to divide by the number books in the series otherwise you're giving far too much weight to the merely prolific. There are plenty of authors out there who churn out virtually the same book several times a year. Now neither Earthsea nor WoT are in that category (I can think of several others that are), but there's still a need to apply scaling when comparing sales figures.
The whole tone of “my
dadfantasy series can beat up yours” going on here is so silly.
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@masonwheeler said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
Have you read The Wheel of Time?
No but I've seen Liar Liar.
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@blakeyrat said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
@masonwheeler said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
Have you read The Wheel of Time?
No but I've seen Liar Liar.
I still think he should have tested a bit further, like, trying increasingly not-blue colors until he couldn't write it, eventually finding out just how far into the line he can cross...
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I vote for their nails.
Bonus for any ingrown toenail.
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@blakeyrat Wow, that takes me back.
ISTR that Liar Liar took it to the opposite extreme: not only could he not technically lie, this guy who had built his entire life and career on smooth-talking suddenly had no filters whatsoever to prevent him from blurting out the first brutally honest thing that came to mind, no matter how inappropriate.
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Pretty much.
I like the part where he got called by a potential client and he just screams "STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!" into the phone.
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@Magus said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
I mean, you could have brought up a good series like Earthsea, but you went for something that spends at least 5 books worth of words on, "using this power feels good but is dangerous", "these people don't like each other", and "these people don't like their destiny".
It's almost like different people have different opinions about the series. Wow, what a concept!
:headexplodes.pdf:
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@Magus said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
@masonwheeler Good things often don't sell as well as generic/somewhat bad things.
Ah yes, the hipster definition of quality. If it's amazingly popular, it must necessarily be generic crap that's not nearly as good as this other thing that never found much in the way of mainstream appeal.
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@masonwheeler Dude, I read all of it. It has to be the only series ever to have improved with the author's death! Because Sanderson actually wants things to happen, apart from characters considering the embroidery patterns on eachother's clothing, and how bad the tea tastes, for another 100 pages.
The reason I brought up Earthsea is the dragon language - something a bit more interesting than some half-baked Bene Gesserit clones.
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@Magus I once heard Brandon Sanderson talk about that. He said (paraphrasing here), "people come up to me and say, 'I love your Mat; he got so much better once you started writing it!' And I actually consider that a failure; it means that I got Mat wrong and he was so out of character that the readers noticed the difference."
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@masonwheeler That's the one character where I actually liked what Jordan was doing, but I didn't notice as much of a difference apparently with him.
The thing that annoyed me about the series was the writing and most of the characters: Jordan even managed to cheapen Min massively by the end. Maybe he just hated women?
It all looks incredibly good on paper, apart from the budget Bene Gesserit - but the prologue of the first book is the only part that actually had anything happen. Especially after book 3, the story just grinds to a halt, and takes another 9 books to start going anywhere again.
Sanderson picked up just after he started to get the plot moving again, and didn't waste any time. He may have made Rand and Moirane a bit too stoned, but at least they finally did things at long last. Things that you knew they'd do after book 3.
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Hair. Hands down, no contest. Their hair.
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@Arantor said in You can make one object owned by your nemesis indestructable.:
I vote their kidney, the one with the kidney stone in it. The lack of destructability implies the inability to remove them.
Why not vote directly for "their oxalates" then?
Ooh. Their adenosine. Or cortisol. Or serotonin. Or bradykinin. Any of those would produce a nice variation on Endless Waking Nightmare Life-In-Death. If you're having trouble choosing, pick bradykinin.