Almost going full Lorne Kates
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Warning: the events you are about to read are true. Any entitlement you may perceive is entirely your own problem.
So, I commute from a decent sized, very open minded city to a shithole in the middle of Bumfuckistan (still in England, but it's rural). And in so doing, I stop by the village shop - they have a few but there's only one of any size that sells food and other stuff, and they sell lottery scratch cards.
I have been known to dabble occasionally buying scratch cards - I'm not like some of my co-workers that buy them nearly every day - but I have an atypical amount of luck on them. I'm currently running at 8 out of the last 10 scratch cards won, and all of them were more than the price of the scratch card back. Given that the chances of winning any prize on them is usually in the 1 in 4 category, this is somewhat atypical.
This is where the #firstworldproblem sets in.
Scratchcards up to £75, any retailer that sells them will give you the winnings, it's part of the deal for actually selling them in the first place. £75 to £100 is at retailer discretion.
I won a £500 scratchcard. The retailer says I need to look at the website on how to claim.
This says I need to phone them up to get them to send me a form to fill in. Or that I can go to a 'designated post office' to collect a form and they can pay out my winnings there.
Only they don't tell me what the 'designated post offices' are. The only post office in Bumfuckistan doesn't pay out scratchcards at all, they leave the village shop to do that. So I went to the Post Office website, typed in the name of my city, ticked the box that said 'looking for post offices that pay out scratch card winnings'.
It gives 5 options. So I set out to visit all 5 today. I still do not have my winnings. I kept my temper as opposed to going full @Lorne_Kates and telling them 'fuck you, give me money'. Especially as it's MY money at this point, as such.
The first post office says the manager isn't in, they can't pay out £500 without him and could I come back Monday - but he finishes as 5pm so I can't get there when he's actually in.
The second post office says it doesn't do scratch cards at all, and isn't sure they're listed on the website as doing scratch cards.
The third post office says it does but only up to £100.
The fourth is closed, on a Saturday lunch time.
I couldn't even find the fifth.
One of them did suggest I try the post office in the mall which is in the middle of town (and equally distant from all of them!) so I tried that last and they said that they didn't do scratch cards either which is why they're not on the website for that reason, and yet the guy behind the counter was annoyed because apparently everyone refers back to the one in the mall for everything even when they don't do it.
My only recourse now is to either travel to another town to try to claim this - or to send it via Royal
MFail and hope it gets there.Fuck you, give me money.
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You could try selling it at a reasonable loss, but then you have already invested in a considerable amount of "non-tangibles" already.
Humm, Bumfuckistan... Buckinghamshire?
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Wrong county. I don't particularly want to say where I work because if I did, you'd actually be able to find it.
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Ok, I'll put that on the back burner for the moment.
£500.00... book a half day holiday (or even pull a sickie - if they don't pay for that or they deduct it from your holiday pay you will still be a few £'s up on the deal). Visit the Big City, seem some lights and get some action (take some neck ointment) and visit a proper Post Office.
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I already spent the money on shiny things, and will use this to cover the cost once I can claim it...
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Can't you send it by registered post. Someone sent me something and I think the letter is insured for more than 500 quid.
Obviously this will cost a little more than normal but probably cheaper than taking the time and effort to drive somewhere else.
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the letter is insured for more than 500 quid
Alright, here's the plan:
- Buy the best postal insurance you can on a package containing this scratch-off.
- Ship the scratch-off to your friend.
- Steal the scratch-off in transit.
- File insurance claim
- ???
- Post office has paid you your winnings!
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A plan with no drawbacks?
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Fuck you, give me money.
I agree wholeheartedly with this philosophy and would also like money.
But US Dollars, not your crazy eurobux.
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Over here they call that a "congès surprise"
When that happens in the US you always end up going to a baseball game and get featured on either the jumbotron screen or the TV broadcast and then your boss yells at you.
I've seen it in about 47,027 sitcoms.
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Yeah, if you had the dollars, you'd have like $759 rather than £500 "eurobux".
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Well, see, there's your first mistake. The money isn't yours...yet. It's theirs until you finish jumping through their bureaucratic hoops. You didn't really think they'd make that easy, did you?
You're lucky if the ticket doesn't expire the day after you bought it (Saturday, when they're closed).
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Thus proving exactly how superior the US is. Exactly $259 superior.
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Yes but how much of that would you have to pay in taxes?
My eurobux won't have tax deductions on it.
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Just grab a shotgun and head out to Montana. Taxes are optional there.
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Just grab a shotgun and head out to Montana. Taxes are optional there.
If you have a shotgun a lot of things are optional.
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What about if you have a shotgun and a chainsaw for a hand?
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Then masturbation is optional
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Groovy.
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This is where the #firstworldproblem sets in.
No no no, you FWers are all doing these FW problems wrong, all this shit happens in the 3rd world.
The only problem I could ever think that happens only in the FW is Swatting, because fuck me if the police would come here so fast after some phone call.
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So, complaining about how difficult it is to claim a winning lottery scratch card isn't a #fwp?
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Is being told your FWP isn't FW enough considered an FWP?
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yo dawg!
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That's why it's and not TIL... ;)
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I want to complain because I can't use the fw problem meme while having very similar problems.
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I want to complain because I can't use the fw problem meme while having very similar problems.
3WP problems topics is... oh.
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So, complaining about how difficult it is to claim a winning lottery scratch card isn't a #fwp?
Depends on how difficult. If you can't claim it without expending more than you have won it's a classic 3WP.
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Exactly $259
superiorinferiorFTFY
The more you have of a thing, that matches somebody else's thing, the less the relative value of your thing.
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I won't expend anywhere near close to that to claim it, so phew, not a 3WP.
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What about my smartphone only connecting the phone part but not the media part to my car's infotainment system last Monday?
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This post is deleted!
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This post is deleted!
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yeah, that's a FWP, a TWP is when the donkey in your cart doesn't want to move
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https://www.reddit.com/r/firstworldproblems
https://www.reddit.com/r/secondworldproblems
https://www.reddit.com/r/thirdworldproblems
https://www.reddit.com/r/fourthworldproblems
https://www.reddit.com/r/fifthworldproblems
https://www.reddit.com/r/sixthworldproblems
https://www.reddit.com/r/seventhworldproblems
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Just grab a shotgun and head out to Montana.
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Cute but no, I'm not up in that part of the country ;)
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Bumfuckinghamshire, then?
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I live in Sussex, plenty of fucking there ;)
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Bumfuck Upper!
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#englishprivilege
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My eurobux won't have tax deductions on it.
Yeah, but you guys pay like 60% income tax. ;)
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The highest top rate is currently 45% and that's only on earnings above £150,000 in the year.
I earn somewhat less than that and my total income tax plus national insurance (healthcare, unemployment etc) comes to about 23% of my total income.
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I hate you now.
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Yes but I make up for it by having 2 hours of commute in each direction...
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not exactly, no. You pay no tax on the first £10k or so, 20% on anything up to £31k or so, 40% on anything from £31k to £150k and 45% on anything above £150k
Then you pay extra in 'national insurance', healthcare, unemployment etc.
Considering the median wage is £26k or so, more down in the south, less up north, most people don't actually hit that tax rate. Like I said, I pay 23% of my total income in tax + national insurance and I'm definitely above average salarywise.
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[sarcastic post on]
not exactly, no. You pay no tax on the first £10k or so, 20% on anything up to £31k or so, 40% on anything from £31k to £150k and 45% on anything above £150k
Yeah, so basically not half on the first 30k.
Then you pay extra in 'national insurance', healthcare, unemployment etc.
Yeah, that's half your income.
Like I said, I pay 23% of my total income in tax + national insurance and I'm definitely above average salarywise.
Wow, UK is poor.
And on top of that, you get the "UK must be rich tax", where anything in the UK has the same "number" on it's price as in America, even though your money is worth more.