Florida Man goes to...
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...shoot his own patrol vehicle full of holes because he thought he was under fire.
Police had become aware during their investigation of a pistol Jackson owned, which was complete with a silencer. Jackson's girlfriend, who had called police to the scene, showed them the weapon in an old picture on her phone. Police were not aware of the firearm's location, though they had thoroughly patted down Mr. Jackson, so he couldn't have had it on him.
Deputy Hernandez described walking back to his patrol vehicle, 'I start walking back to my car. Um, so he's on the passenger side, um, in the back seat. Um, I'm walking up to my car. I'm about to reach for the, like the door handle. Um, and about si-simultaneously. I, I, I hear, um, to me at the time, what I believe would be a suppressed weapon off to the side. Definitely heard this noise. At the same time, I felt an impact on my right side, like upper torso area.'
And then he emptied his magazine into the patrol car. Fortunately, the suspect in the back seat did not get hit.
All that over an acorn dropping and hitting the cruiser at the exact moment when Hernandez walked by! I have to note that Hernandez served two tours in Afghanistan, though never saw direct combat. Still, serving in any capacity tends to stick with you for a while.
Emphasis mine.
Officer Hernandez resigned from the police force as a result of the incident
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@Bulb said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
breath-alcohol content was .334 and .307
That's getting pretty far into the “and he's still alive?” territory…
: [amused giggling]
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@acrow said in Florida Man goes to...:
And then he emptied his magazine into the patrol car. Fortunately, the suspect in the back seat did not get hit.
Officer Hernandez is a Storm trooper
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@Luhmann said in Florida Man goes to...:
@hungrier
It probably was a rigid bikeThey make tools, not bikes.
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...south Georgia:
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@boomzilla I shall not question the thumbnail.
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@Zecc said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla I shall not question the thumbnail.
Looking at the article it seems like it might have actually been relevant to the charges, as the beach was apparently somewhat clothing optional, but he was yanking someone’s chain with it…
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Texas man!
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
Some people just need an example of exemplary cock meat in order to get in the mood.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
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A not-funny Florida man story:
Florida man confesses to killing mother because ‘she got on his nerves’ – 12:46
— FOX 13 Tampa BayTL;DW: Florida man confesses to killing mother because ‘she got on his nerves’
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
Ah, this was potential plan 5,225, but with a weird arm chair thing and on the public path instead of the beach proper! That was shot down as being even less likely to work than sunbathing without the stupid tackle. And that already had abysmal odds to begin with!
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Honorary Florida Man:
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@DogsB That's not what is usually meant by "trouser snake".
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James Michael Anderson was allegedly high on PCP, LSD, ketamine, mushrooms and ecstasy when he attacked a deputy on patrol at Sol Fest
No bath salts?
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
high on PCP, LSD, ketamine, mushrooms and ecstasy
How high do you want to be?
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@TimeBandit said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
high on PCP, LSD, ketamine, mushrooms and ecstasy
How high do you want to be?
Yes.
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@boomzilla A North Carolina woman in Florida.
The North Carolina woman was removed from the lake and booked into jail
As a wise man once said, if your escape plan includes water, you should rethink your plan.
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They Were Caught ‘Doing The Deed’ Outside Popeyes – 14:10
— Law&Crime BodyCamDrivers in Vero Beach, Florida were shocked when they drove by their local Popeyes restaurant to see two people on top of each other. Finally, the couple caught the attention of the police, who responded immediately. Arnold Oneal Mackey and April Marie White’s day of drinking quickly turned into something else when they spotted the perfect spot to hang out — a public sidewalk in front of a fried chicken restaurant.
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... the Brussels ring road !
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@boomzilla A couple of pertinent items that aren't in the onebox:
The Karen is 80 yo. She is charged with a felony, because the victim is over 65.
She and the victim live on Peaceful Lane. It doesn't sound very peaceful to me.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla A couple of pertinent items that aren't in the onebox:
The Karen is 80 yo. She is charged with a felony, because the victim is over 65.
She and the victim live on Peaceful Lane. It doesn't sound very peaceful to me.And:
Rogers used her “black flip phone” to take photos of the “wet spots” on the roadway so that she could “report the victim” to the complex’s management.
Multiple things in that sentence...
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@boomzilla That may be regarded as an attack with biological weapons - it may contain shitty viruses!
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@BernieTheBernie It's pretty much guaranteed to contain shitty bacteria — E. coli, Enterococcus Faecalis, and others.