[quote user="viza"]haha. I went through the oracle dba training. I've rarely used it, never needed it, or recommended it once. I have met Oracle "DBA"'s that didn't know how to install a JVM on a sun box, at Citi. How can you be an Oracle DBA and not know how to install a jvm? (considering you need to install a jvm to use the installer, which you need to use to even DBA in the first place)?[/quote]
You absolutely do NOT have to install a JVM to install Oracle. Any installation CD or tarball contains its own JVM. I also recommend, as does Oracle, that you not use any random JVM that you have laying around.
[quote user="viza"]Certified experts? WTF? Take a class, pass a test, get to real world and unable to function. PAY ME!!! I AM AN EXPERT!!! HERE'S THE PAPER THAT PROVES IT!!! The scary thing is these guys had the titles "DBA" and "Senior Developer" and "Architect".[/quote]
How is this different from any other type of certification from any other product certification? Most certifications are worthless.
[quote user="viza"]I walked into the issue and got Oracle running on the Sun box (having never been at a Sun command prompt before), in about 5 minutes, with them telling me all the stuff I was doing wrong the whole time o.O (+ the time it took for the software to install). ****ing retards. Then again I'm just an open source schlep, what do I know? (besides linux, unix, oracle, postgresql, mysql, mssql, php, perl, java, sh)? I won't get into how they kept bugging me to help them with PL/SQL. My title is "Developer". [/quote]
This is where your story kind of runs off its tracks. There are no circumstances in which you could have "got Oracle running" on a Sun box in 5 minutes. See, you can't even install Oracle on a Sun server without making some changes to kernel parameters in /etc/system and rebooting. Then doing an install, which isn't fast, even on top of the line Sun hardware. Even if you managed to hack up the installer packages to ignore all the pre-installation stuff that you didn't do, it wouldn't run without those kernel changes. Plus, a database has to be created. You designed and created that within that same 5 minutes? No? Oh, so you let Oracle install its default database, which would be completely worthless for almost any real use. Give me a break.
If you got anything running at all in 5 minutes, it was set up to run before you ever got there. You may have discovered the startup commands needed in 5 minutes, but certainly no more than that.
[quote user="viza"]I'd never pass a sun or oracle certification, but when the chips are down, I deliver, and I don't waste 2 weeks before I ask for help, then blame the server guy that built the box for my own lack of knowledge and the lateness of my project.
I can't wait till all this outsourcing goes horribly wrong and we get back to normal. I usually only have time to do my own job. [/quote]
I love L337 dudes like you, who think you know enough to conquer almost any task, without any real depth of knowledge about what you're doing. I interview people like you all the time, who tout the breadth of their skill sets and how they're great at everything, and I always give those people the thumbs down. People like you have great value in very small organizations, but in a larger development group, specialization is a good thing. I love L337 dudes like you because you make it very easy for us to spot you and weed you out. And I love L337 dudes like you because I know I'll always have work cleaning up the messes that you leave behind, because you really didn't have the knowledge to do what you set out to do in the first place. L337 dudes like you often (not always, mind you) leave ticking time bombs in every single thing they work on.
Example: I'm doing a complete rebuild of our development environment next month due to someone like you, who was a self admitted jack-of-all-trades, who set up one of my SANs in such an incredibly stupid way that it has to be torn down and completely rebuilt from scratch before I can continue to use it. The guy who did the work is long gone (finally fired for his incompetence) but his legacy remains. It's only costing us about $400,000 in hardware and man hours to clean up his mistake.