Haikus are boring / So we switched to limericks / Refrigerator.
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Yeah, it's just that last line that won't work at all. It'd be better shortened:
Of org | an i zing | a re bell ion.
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all hell breaks loose
Of or ga | ni zing an | armed re bel lion.
Anapaest, anapaest, anapaest with hypercatalexis.
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My first fix attempt:
There once was a man who was Belgian
Whose use of Discourse was real seldom
The software was broken
He loudly has spoken
Of arranging an armed rebellionThere **once** | was a **man** | who was **Bel** | gian Who's **use** | of Dis **course** | was real **sel** | dom the **soft** | ware was **bro** | ken he **loud** | ly has **spo** | ken Of a **rang** | ging an **armed** | re **bel** lion
It uses hypercatalexis on just about every line, and that last foot is wrong, but it's closer.
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You hardly ever stress an “a” or “an” in English, and it feels really weird to have no stress in “armed”.
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Of or ga | ni zing an | armed re bel lion.
I could pronounce it that way but it feels forced and unnatural, so it's not the right meter for the way the line is written
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When it's a loanword from spanish: re-al (El Camino Real)
When it's an English word, reel
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There once was a man who was Belgian
Whose use of Discourse was real seldom
The software was broken
He loudly has spoken
Of organizing a rebellion@dkf 's suggestion fits in perfectly, I submit this as the best attempt at fixing yet
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Which is iamb due to catalexis , anapaest, anapaest, extra-syllable all the way through lines 1, 2, and 5, plus an extra missing syllable on line 3.
Gesundheit.
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Limerick writing by committee
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There once was a man who was Belgian
Whose use of Discourse was real seldom
The software was broken
He loudly has spoken
Of arranging an armed rebellionThat's broken in other ways, given that virtually all limericks have the two shorter lines link to each other rather than joining the 4th to the 5th. Let's try again:
There once was a man who was Belgian
Whose usage of Discourse was seldom
“This software is broken,”
Our hero hath spoken,
“And spurs me to open rebellion!”
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I think @RaceProUK's second line fits better with natural pronunciation
Who's use | of Dis course | was sel dom
Whose usage of Discourse was seldom
this is perfect
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Win. Much better than mine.
Also I now can't figure out how Discourse would be pronounced naturally from having twisted it around in my head so much. It sounds wrong no matter how I stress it.
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There once was a man who was BelgianWhose usage of Discourse was seldom“This software is broken,”Our hero hath spoken,“And spurs me to open rebellion!”
This is perfect.
Formatting preserved to prove the point.
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I don't write much poetry, but I did happen to be the best poet in my year at (equivalent of) high school. I think it has something to do with thinking about the words as a pattern of stresses and thing that could be sung. Like most people with a true scientific/mathematical bent, I'm pretty musical (when I have the time…)
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Also I now can't figure out how Discourse would be pronounced naturally from having twisted it around in my head so much.
:D
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I don't write much poetry, but I did happen to be the best poet in my year at (equivalent of) high school. I think it has something to do with thinking about the words as a pattern of stresses and thing that could be sung. Like most people with a true scientific/mathematical bent, I'm pretty musical (when I have the time…)
I only used to write free-form and beat poetry.
Thank God it was in Polish, so only a small fraction of world population can stumble upon it someday and ridicule it.
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I did happen to be the best poet in my year at (equivalent of) high school
I won a poetry contest once in high school, but that was ages ago. The poem sucked, too.
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There once was a man who was Belgian
Whose usage of Discourse was seldom
“This software is broken,”
Our hero hath spoken,
“And spurs me to open rebellion!”
May Likes rain down upon thee, in order for thou to earnst thine 'Badge of Reasonable Posting'! ;)
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I won a poetry contest once in high school, but that was ages ago. The poem sucked, too.
We never had any contests. The only things I did back then that haven't been safely and permanently interred in a shoebox will be my pieces for the English Language course, and those were mostly pretty poor as the subjects were chosen for us.
This sort of thing is also why I'm pretty insistent on getting the rules for things like haikus right. The additional restrictions make it more interesting. A bit like writing machine code while wearing boxing gloves.
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I used to write Villanelles. Oh, and, what's that one I like so much...Sestinas, that was it.
One of my favorite poems: http://wonderingminstrels.blogspot.com/2001/10/shrinking-lonesome-sestina-miller.html
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Words are cheap; look, man
I can say what I want to
Deal with it, bro.Can anyone come up with a worse one?
Your haiku's not bad,
That last line is too short see?
It's not a haiku.
To beat bad haiku
You must first have a valid
Haiku to defeat
Filed under: 5-7-5, not 5-7-4
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There once was a spy codenamed Joan
whose cover was suddenly blown.
She tried to resist
her questioner's wish
so up her ass they pushed a pine cone.
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So at first I thought,
"Why has nobody mentioned,
snow on Mt. Fuji?"But lo and behold,
there the episode was linked,
for all to enjoy.EDIT:
Messed up the first one,
original in comments,
Above it is fixed.
Filed under: Oh hey look at this, / I just figured out how to / make a 'filed under' line
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There once was a bard of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so,
He replied, “Yes, I know,
“But I always try to fit absolutely as many words in the last line of the poem as I possibly can.”Not original…
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The sun climbs the sky
With Oracle, I open
Another SR
3am update
We can just rerun the job
Quality serviceSeriously, it takes fifteen and a half hours to tell us this?
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Necroing because I came across this, which probably applies to all of us:
http://ozyandmillie.org/comics/2005-01-24-Ozy-and-Millie.gif
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Poetry is hard
Writing haikus doubly so
Now
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A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude
Saw a man come along
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd.
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I've heard a slightly different version:
There once was a poet named Nick
Who could not compose a limerick
He said "Yes I know
I write just so-so
But I always screw up the last line really bad."
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Double You Tee Eff
is what we like to exclaim
when we see bad code
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Why should it not rhyme?
In a haiku it's but grime
and then what, like, lime?
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<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
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so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
Seems fine to me.
EDIT: Except it broke all the quotes.
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@darkmatter said:
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
so
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
<abbr title="Alternate Versioned">AV</abbr>TFY
oh jesus fucking christ. maybe the quote button should show a fucking busy indicator if it really has to go fetch the fucking quote from the server.... i hit it and nothing happens so i assume i missed it and try again. then i ger annoyed and click again.... then i give up because its dischorse so i figure it is broken and i start typing only THEN to have it dump about 10quotes in the middle of what i started typing. Because fuck you.
Seems fine to me.
EDIT: Except it broke all the quotes.
Yeah, it's fast now (from home). Was slow as hell from work for me as well.
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combine dischorse cooties and my mobile connection and fuck if i can tell whether the quote button is working or ever will work. also why i cant tell if i just missed it, trying to hit that dinky ass icon on this little screen.
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I think that's a Chrome bug.
<hr/>Filed under: Obligatory @wood-ismHmm, well, that's interesting... Wouldn't</abbr>
have guessed. These bugs are fun!Anyway, he wouldn't think it's a Chrome bug, he'd think it's an Android 3.0 bug.
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You're so fucking hot
My penis is aching for you
Let me push it in
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Read this thread:
http://what.thedailywtf.com/t/discourse-is-slow-on-android-why/4417/94?u=aliceif
He keeps blaming Chrome for everything. Well, that and Dalvik.
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I think my very</abbr> probably how it erases the rest of the line
and yet</abbr>
putting words on the
next line requires</abbr> doesn't even count as a space!
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When choosing to write out your words in the form of a verse,
It may be quite easy if you do not tend to the terse.
A rhyme can help thoughts fill the line in a form that might teeter
On the verge of becoming a load of iambic pentameter!
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teeter
pentameter!
If you pronounce these in a way no native english speaker does, they rhyme!
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If you pronounce these in a way no native english speaker does, they rhyme!
You try finding a rhyme for iambic pentameter. It's hard. And you don't know my accent, which really is native English (and mostly pretty close to RP too).
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diameter is better
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And you don't know my accent
That just means you're pronouncing it in a way you never would outside a really bad poem.
It's like rhyming "Strawberry" with "papaya tree" - it only comes anywhere near close if you're British.
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diameter. better. getter. setter. matter. patter. flatter. batter. shatter. Exeter.