Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?
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This was too good not to share.
A peer of mine (same organization but different scrum team) is a very involved father. He is often taking time off of work to watch his kids and leaving early to take his kids to soccer practice
I did a quick reverse google search of his "kids" pictures to find out that the photo he was sharing with the office was from a 1997 cereal commercial. After stopping by his desk, I realized that his "wife's" photo is literally a stock photo with the watermark still visible.
the whole thing pisses me off and I want to see him get in trouble or reprimanded
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"Dear StackExchange,
my colleagues don't believe my family — who work as stock photography models — are real."
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
After stopping by his desk, I realized that his "wife's" photo is literally a stock photo with the watermark still visible.
He's beating the system, don't mess it up for him!
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From an answer:
Usually when you find out that someone has serious mental problems you do your best to stay out of their issues and make sure they don't get upset at you.
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I found a photo of his co-worker!
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This place is gold!
What you have to do is invoke your inner Wally with these people. Eventually they'll realise you see them as talking potted plants and stop bothering you.
I think most of this forum is about to be sacked.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I think most of this forum is about to be sacked.
Of course, but what about the members of StackExchange?
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Sounds like an unmoderated, free-for-all, version of
Ask A Manager
...
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I found a photo of his co-worker!
I remember reading his books. He took being a dick to fantastic new heights. Probably the only books I'll actually go back and read out of sheer enjoyment.
*Edit. Holy shit he has four new books. That's my reading list for the next two weeks.
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I found a photo of his co-worker!
And his pet?
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@PJH said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Usually when you find out that someone has serious mental problems you do your best to stay out of their issues and make sure they don't get upset at you.
That's Kilisi. He's notable for being the only prolific user of Workplace who is a straight-talking no-bullshit pragmatist.
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@DogsB
Who is that?
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@PJH said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I found a photo of his co-worker!
And his pet?
That's not his pet. His pet spider has eight legs.
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@Polygeekery said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
That's not his pet. His pet spider has eight legs.
It's a post-amputation picture.
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@dkf I feel like you didn't get the joke.
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@pie_flavor said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB
Who is that?David Thorne. A fairly funny troll. His website! http://www.27bslash6.com
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@dkf said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I'll email David telling him it's here. He might want it back.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I'll email David telling him it's here. He might want it back.
He probably already knows, he's surely already a member of the forum. Probably one of @boomzilla's alts.
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Probably one of @boomzilla's alts.
You mean that someone here isn't…?
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I did a quick reverse google search of his "kids" pictures
And you did this because . . . . . . . . . . . you're a creepy psycho stalker?
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@dkf said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Probably one of @boomzilla's alts.
You mean that someone here isn't…?
I secretly suspect that @boomzilla is one of @Karla alts.
Also, when I was about twelve, my mother opened the bathroom door without knocking and caught me lying naked on the floor cracking an egg onto my penis. I have no idea why. I tried to flip over to hide my shame but the tiles were pretty slippery from several previously cracked eggs so I just kind of slapped and flailed for a bit. She didn't say anything, just closed the door, so I guess that story didn't really have anything to do with being asked to leave places..
I think that may of actually happened.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Solved: Work twice(*) as slowly.
(*) Use different factor, as applicable.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@dkf said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Probably one of @boomzilla's alts.
You mean that someone here isn't…?
I secretly suspect that @boomzilla is one of @Karla alts.
Also, when I was about twelve, my mother opened the bathroom door without knocking and caught me lying naked on the floor cracking an egg onto my penis. I have no idea why. I tried to flip over to hide my shame but the tiles were pretty slippery from several previously cracked eggs so I just kind of slapped and flailed for a bit. She didn't say anything, just closed the door, so I guess that story didn't really have anything to do with being asked to leave places..
I think that may of actually happened.
When did I start getting alts? Does that mean I've finally made it?
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Holy shit he has four new books. That's my reading list for the next two weeks.
Literally the only books I've bought in the last couple of years are the David Thorne books.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@pie_flavor said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB
Who is that?David Thorne. A fairly funny troll. His website! http://www.27bslash6.com
I have spent the last several hours reading this website and two of his books arrive in a few days. I feel like I did when I discovered Terry Pratchett.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@pie_flavor said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB
Who is that?David Thorne. A fairly funny troll. His website! http://www.27bslash6.com
Oh man. I didn't even know he was still active. I keep forgetting his name and site address so whenever I see it linked I get all excited and see what I missed since the last time I saw it.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
I think that may of actually happened.
might have! might have!!
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@cvi said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Solved: Work twice(*) as slowly.
(*) Use different factor, as applicable.
There was a long winded response in there from someone saying that unfortunately there is not one manager per worker. What the hell?
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@The_Quiet_One said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@pie_flavor said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB
Who is that?David Thorne. A fairly funny troll. His website! http://www.27bslash6.com
Oh man. I didn't even know he was still active. I keep forgetting his name and site address so whenever I see it linked I get all excited and see what I missed since the last time I saw it.
How do you forget his site address? It's Orwell's house number.
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@pie_flavor said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
How do you forget his site address? It's Orwell's house number.
Very easily, especially if you don't know this trivia and would naturally assume he lived at 1984 Animal Farm Lane.
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@Carnage said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
There was a long winded response in there from someone saying that unfortunately there is not one manager per worker. What the hell?
Everything is relative. Maybe their company has more managers than actual people doing work...
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@Zerosquare said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Everything is relative. Maybe their company has more managers than actual people doing work...
And that's a shit company.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
cracking an egg onto my penis. I have no idea why.
Experiments in insemination, clearly.
I mean... I also have no fathom capability for possible reasons of this scenario..
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@djls45 said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
"Here's a list of other things to do that may or may not be relevant to your job and may or may not be permissible activities in your situation."https://what.thedailywtf.com/register
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@DogsB It doesn't seem like a place that likes to hear the truth. All of those people positively jumped at the chance to call somebody else "toxic." I think I would get along with this Kilisi fellow though. Too bad they hide upvotes from new contributors.
Edit: And apparently I can't comment on other answers until I get 50 gold stars from the PC police either. I thought that "you're not toxic but maybe a little bit of a diva" post was interesting until I saw that the PC police have been constantly editing it and crying about it being re-edited by the author. Who the hell do they think they are censoring or speaking for somebody else?
More: Holy cow, look at that code of conduct. The unfriendly vs friendly language can be summed up as "always assume you are wrong and beg for forgiveness."
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I like the cut of this guy's jib. Funnily enough a couple of unexpected pregnancies is how I moved up in my early career.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Funnily enough a couple of unexpected pregnancies is how I moved up in my early career.
I've heard of sleeping your way to the top, but actually getting kids is a bit much...
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Ooooo, fun. We've got a drama where heavy handed mods have deleted an answer by a high rep user (Kilisi), and now he's calling bullshit.
TLDR:
(for the purpose of the following, is Kilisi)
: I was in a meeting at work, and an honest to god fight broke out. What should I do in this situation?
: I used to work as a bouncer, one of the best bits of advice I can give you is this: if you're a man, don't intercede unless a woman is being attacked. If you try to split up a fight between men, and the police come along, they will assume you're one of the combatants, and arrest you too!
: That's sexist! I'm going to call the mods!
: Yeah, that's sexist! You should be ashamed.
: There's nothing to see here! *Poof* Memory holed, beeatch!
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Ooooo, fun. We've got a drama where heavy handed mods have deleted an answer by a high rep user (Kilisi), and now he's calling bullshit.
Richard U said:
There is zero chance that a man could be pregnant, for example
Oh dear, that guy's in trouble now.
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Kilisi isn't happy with the mods
One of the answers linked to this:
Which has this gem as one of the answers!
said:
Moderators are supposed to be exemplars of 99% good community behavior, and part of good community behavior is recognizing problem behaviors -- even your own!
recognizing problem behaviors -- even your own
recognizing problem behaviors -- even your own
recognizing problem behaviors -- even your own
recognizing problem behaviors -- even your ownDid he seriously write that?
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At first I thought "Huh? Maybe that's a bit optimistic, but yeah, being able to see your own mistakes is a positive trait."
Then I saw who posted that, and... yeah. That's hilarious.
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EDIT: Jeffed to https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/26343/tales-from-stack-exchange-a-lesson-from-jeff-about-moderation/2
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@Zerosquare said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
@Carnage said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
There was a long winded response in there from someone saying that unfortunately there is not one manager per worker. What the hell?
Everything is relative. Maybe their company has more managers than actual people doing work...
I used to have a whole bunch of Non Sequitur comics about that cut out from the newspaper. Like this one:
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@dcon: I thought of the old joke about rowers and helmsmen when I wrote that.
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@DogsB said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Clearly not secretly enough. Fail, Jeremy.
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@DoctorJones said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
Ooooo, fun. We've got a drama where heavy handed mods have deleted an answer by a high rep user (Kilisi), and now he's calling bullshit.
TLDR:
(for the purpose of the following, is Kilisi)
: I was in a meeting at work, and an honest to god fight broke out. What should I do in this situation?
: I used to work as a bouncer, one of the best bits of advice I can give you is this: if you're a man, don't intercede unless a woman is being attacked. If you try to split up a fight between men, and the police come along, they will assume you're one of the combatants, and arrest you too!
: That's sexist! I'm going to call the mods!
: Yeah, that's sexist! You should be ashamed.
: There's nothing to see here! *Poof* Memory holed, beeatch!
And he's now
This account is temporarily suspended.
although I can't see anything in his activity that would cause that. Unless the offending article has been 'd into oblivion.
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@Cursorkeys said in Tales from Stack Exchange - Coworker is lying about having kids. What should I do?:
although I can't see anything in his activity that would cause that.
He dared question a moderator.