Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot
-
-
Is shooting people professional? I forgot.
-
@createdtodislikethis said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Is shooting people professional? I forgot.
-
-
At least they don't put after every word.
-
@adynathos said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
HAL initialization failed?
i dunno, i thought HAL was rather dangerous..... i don't think he should be initialized........
-
@accalia said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
i don't think he should be initialized........
Obviously it failed: "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that"
-
@adynathos said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
QFT. The BSOD used to be scary. With a much more jarring blue, a monospace font, an incomprehensible error, and if you were lucky a persistent beep. The fact that this has turned into a frowny emoticon is representative of the entire operating system (this was introduced in 8 ).
You're only allowed to be cute if you're a small company (see: Discord)
-
-
@pie_flavor I like cute on "epic level fucked" errors. The fact that something relatable is on the screen helps.
See: @blakeyrat spec Classic Mac with the Sad Mac (and Happy Mac) screens.
I'd have gone for a kitten, though.
-
Canadians sure are violent people.
-
Maybe if we use a different emoticon? Maybe something more modern, that appeals to the younger audiences. Let's try...
-
@cvi said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Maybe if we use a different emoticon? Maybe something more modern, that appeals to the younger audiences. Let's try...
I would pay money for that.
-
@cvi Make it Animoji™ or nothing.
-
Is this a good time to mention all of our persistence test data refers to Star Wars?
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
I would pay money for that.
Perhaps not impossible. Of course, attempting to render unicode in there might just cause the bluescreen to bluescreen.
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
The BSOD used to be scary
-
@adynathos said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
The BSOD used to be scary
Exactly! It's iconic. Imagine that being a frowny face.
-
@weng said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
See: @blakeyrat spec Classic Mac with the Sad Mac (and Happy Mac) screens.
If a Classic Mac doesn't pass POST for whatever reason, it plays the standard startup chime, followed by the same four notes tweaked so they're discordant and sound awful. They put a lot of effort into the way it handles errors.
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
(this was introduced in .
I don't know that Windows version ... did they try neon colors after the ME pastels or something?
-
Actually this is a very important, must-have feature... almost as important as using NodeJS.
When you do things like this, your applications will no longer have a .NET or Java "smell". You see, the smell of an application is very important for attracting ROCKSTAR ELITE developers.
These types of amazing wonderful developers can produce 10x the code of a normal developer at really only 1.5x the cost.
Better yet, the stuff these PROGRAMMING GURUS create cannot be maintained by anyone. The GODS are above maintaining code, and the PLEBS can't comprehend such advanced architectures.
This creates the ecosystem of disposable, low-quality software. Such systems can never become self-aware, and takeover
mankindhumankindzeykindzus. It's saving us from SKynet.
-
Without cute, I got nothin'.
-
@magus said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Canadians sure are violent people.
Maybe, but always in a polite way.
Please die you motherfucker
-
@luhmann said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
(this was introduced in .
I don't know that Windows version ... did they try neon colors after the ME pastels or something?
Dammit, why does it do that?
@timebandit said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@magus said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Canadians sure are violent people.
Maybe, but always in a polite way.
Please die you motherfucker
Eh?
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
The fact that this has turned into a frowny emoticon is representative of the entire operating system (this was introduced in 8)
This was a happy accident (that you fixed as I was typing :) )
-
@weng said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
See: @blakeyrat spec Classic Mac with the Sad Mac (and Happy Mac) screens.
For those who haven't seen it:
-
@apapadimoulis said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Such systems can never become self-aware, and takeover
mankindhumankindzeykindzus.Dammit. Our last chance at getting reasonable management of Polish social insurance is now gone.
-
@gąska said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
At least they don't put after every word.
Yet.
-
@magus said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Canadians sure are violent people.
That's why they don't trust themselves with guns.
-
There's certain enterprise videoconferencing software that shits out a red banner when it can't reach the server, and it says
D'oh! We can't find the internet.
Witnessing this was literally the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone ever.
-
@heterodox Amiga's version of same had the label "Guru meditation: " followed by the error code. It was very weird.
Of course the computer that won the market was the boring beige square stupid one that nobody ever put any cleverness or personality into.
-
On the topic of cute: Clippy, anyone?
-
@blakeyrat said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@heterodox Amiga's version of same had the label "Guru meditation: " followed by the error code. It was very weird.
Of course the computer that won the market was the boring beige square stupid one that nobody ever put any cleverness or personality into.
There are hardware products with a touchscreen out there in the wild that will produce an Amiga-style guru meditation flashing box (if enough hardware is still alive) when the processor traps.
I needed a very simple error screen as only very basic graphics ops were possible from the handers and thought a homage to the Amiga would work well.
Think I read somewhere that the 'Guru Meditation' was because one of the designers used to sit cross-legged in thought over what had caused the particular fault when the Amiga was being developed.
Edit: Wiki says I'm wrong, prefer my version of a dev lost in contemplation I think.
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
On the topic of cute: Clippy, anyone?
-
@createdtodislikethis said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Is shooting people professional? I forgot.
Only if they're aliens.
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@adynathos said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
QFT. The BSOD used to be scary. With a much more jarring blue, a monospace font, an incomprehensible error, and if you were lucky a persistent beep. The fact that this has turned into a frowny emoticon is representative of the entire operating system (this was introduced in 8 ).
You're only allowed to be cute if you're a small company (see: Discord)
That's OK. I recently had an "INACCESSIBLE BOOT DEVICE" error on Windows 10 with the non-Fall Creator's Update.
It had a QR code. (Sorry, no picture.)
-
@jazzyjosh said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
s this a good time to mention all of our persistence test data refers to Star Wars?
I use Star Trek for mine.
-
@jazzyjosh said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Is this a good time to mention all of our persistence test data refers to Star Wars?
WTF - It is supposed refer to Tolkien!!!!!
-
@thecpuwizard said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@jazzyjosh said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
Is this a good time to mention all of our persistence test data refers to Star Wars?
WTF - It is supposed refer to Tolkien!!!!!
We've got a huge star wars nut on the team ;)
-
@polygeekery said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@gąska said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
At least they don't put after every word.
Yet.
Yet.
-
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
On the topic of cute: Clippy, anyone?
-
@bb36e said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
If I wrote a web server, it would just link errors to http.cat and be done with it.
-
@steve_the_cynic said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
It had a QR code. (Sorry, no picture.)
like so?
-
@darkmatter AcmeVideo...
-
@darkmatter said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
That's 20% complete, right ?
-
@lorne-kates said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@pie_flavor said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
On the topic of cute: Clippy, anyone?
To further demonstrate just how weird my mental processes are, this made me think of the first Something Positive comic:
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp12192001.shtml
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp12192001.gif
-
@scholrlea said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
To further demonstrate just how weird my mental processes are, this made me think of the first Something Positive comic:
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp12192001.shtml
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp12192001.gif12 years later
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01172014.shtml
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01172014.png
-
@timebandit said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
That's 20% complete, right ?
That gives me an evil idea...
-
@dcon said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
That gives me an evil idea...
Always pleased to help
-
@lorne-kates said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
@scholrlea said in Feature Request: developers who try to be "cute" in Enterprise-level professional software should be shot:
To further demonstrate just how weird my mental processes are, this made me think of the first Something Positive comic:
12 years later
Actually Davan's reaction on this one felt really out-of-character to me. I expected him to go "Nah, I just wanted to traumatize your mom in a way she'd never forget, and by the look of things, I succeeded."