Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze
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TL;DR $400 internet-connected juicer that only lets you use their custom juice packet things is crappy. Silicon Valley invests $120M. Thing is still crappy.
One of the most lavishly funded gadget startups in Silicon Valley last year was Juicero Inc. It makes a juice machine. The product was an unlikely pick for top technology investors, but they were drawn to the idea of an internet-connected device that transforms single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables into a refreshing and healthy beverage.
Juicer + IoT = ???
Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs in his pursuit of juicing perfection. He declared that his juice press wields four tons of force—“enough to lift two Teslas,” he said.
Everyone in the Bay drives Teslas. Y'know, the Bay.
Google’s venture capital arm and other backers poured about $120 million into the startup.
Proof that the tech industry has too much money in its hands
Bloomberg performed its own press test, pitting a Juicero machine against a reporter’s grip. The experiment found that squeezing the bag yields nearly the same amount of juice just as quickly—and in some cases, faster—than using the device.
A person close to the company said Juicero is aware the packs can be squeezed by hand but that most people would prefer to use the machine because the process is more consistent and less messy. The device also reads a QR code printed on the back of each produce pack and checks the source against an online database to ensure the contents haven’t expired or been recalled, the person said. The expiration date is also printed on the pack.
This is what really upset me -- instead of just putting a machine-readable expiry date on the pack they check against an online DB to verify that the pack hasn't expired. This sums up most of the IoT bullshit I see these days:
- take existing appliance/product
- add internet capability
- remove all old capabilities
- force internet connectivity
The end result is a buggy, unsupported, crippled POS that turns into a paperweight the moment the company's servers go offline.
And this is what the valley is investing in. bloody hell.
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Fucking hell. It's fruit and a blender - how the fuck did people invest mega dollars for something that makes combining fruit and a blender difficult.
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@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Fucking hell. It's fruit and a blender - how the fuck did people invest mega dollars for something that makes combining fruit and a blender difficult.
Because idiots and shiny go together like bacon and brown sauce.
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@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Fucking hell. It's fruit and a blender - how the fuck did people invest mega dollars for something that makes combining fruit and a blender difficult.
Fuck me, they outstupided Keurig.
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@boomzilla said in Dumb stuff that wasn't crowdsourced:
A person close to the company said Juicero is aware the packs can be squeezed by hand but that most people would prefer to use the machine because the process is more consistent and less messy. The device also reads a QR code printed on the back of each produce pack and checks the source against an online database to ensure the contents haven’t expired or been recalled, the person said. The expiration date is also printed on the pack.
Bonus :
Kippy Williams, owner of Kippy’s Organic Non-Dairy Ice Cream Shop in Los Angeles and Toyko, said...
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@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
It's fruit and a blender
Not if you want pulp-free juice. Then it's, at best, fruit, a blender, and a strainer. Or it might be something that has to be shaped differently for each kind of fruit, like squeezing a lemon vs a pineapple. Pre-prepping the fruit to be squashed by their product and forced through a small strainer seems like a reasonable option, especially if you could peel the fruit and put it in a re-usable compartment yourself as well. Or you could just juice the fruit at the factory and sell a giant paperweight, like they did. But then you'll get caught, eventually.
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@boomzilla said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Organic Non-Dairy Ice Cream
As opposed to regular non-organic ice cream, made of rocks, salt and water.
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@bb36e said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs
Not favourably, I hope.
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@Maciejasjmj said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Fucking hell. It's fruit and a blender - how the fuck did people invest mega dollars for something that makes combining fruit and a blender difficult.
Fuck me, they outstupided Keurig.
Hey, at least that's more convenient than messing around with coffee filters, grinders, etc. Unless you're only talking about their attempt to impose DRM on coffee, in which case yeah that was stupid.
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@hungrier said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@bb36e said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs
Not favourably, I hope.
Well but come on:
The creator of Juicero is something of a luminary in the world of juicing
Luminary. World of juicing.
He's no Barry Bonds, that's for sure.
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@bb36e said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Google’s venture capital arm and other backers poured about $120 million into the startup.
Proof that the tech industry has too much money in its hands
Much of that money probably arrived based on their initial pitch; a machine that could (with relatively little mess) crush chunked fruit and vegetables into juice. Ain't nobody who's serious gonna fund a big-ass bag rolling machine.
[I]nstead of just putting a machine-readable expiry date on the pack they check against an online DB to verify that the pack hasn't expired.
How else are you going to keep people paying their monthly subscription? :(
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@Yamikuronue said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
It's fruit and a blender
Not if you want pulp-free juice. Then it's, at best, fruit, a blender, and a strainer. Or it might be something that has to be shaped differently for each kind of fruit, like squeezing a lemon vs a pineapple. Pre-prepping the fruit to be squashed by their product and forced through a small strainer seems like a reasonable option, especially if you could peel the fruit and put it in a re-usable compartment yourself as well. Or you could just juice the fruit at the factory and sell a giant paperweight, like they did. But then you'll get caught, eventually.
$50, does the same thing, no pulp and if you wanted you could run it from a generator in the middle of a national park without having to tether it to your phone. They could have taken that $120M, bought 2.4M of those at full retail price, put a flashing blue led on it and delivered a better product.
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Chertok, whose Vast Ventures is also a backer of popular organic restaurant chain Sweetgreen, said Juicero’s approach to delivering cheap organic produce could be valuable. He said the company is a “platform” for a new model of food delivery, where fresh fruits and veggies are delivered regularly to the home.
Fucking hell, has this idiot never lived outside a city center full of rich idiots? In the small town I'm from, there are still farmers who do weekly deliveries. They even call ahead to ask you what you want this week. They probably deliver better quality at 1/5th of the price, without extra plastic around the "green", "organic", "awesome" product.
Does this moron even know where fruit and veggies come from? Sorry to break it to you, but this "platform" has existed for multiple centuries, in form of a cart attached to a vehicle owner by a farmer.
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@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Does this moron even know where fruit and veggies come from?
Trousers
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@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
In the small town I'm from, there are still farmers who do weekly deliveries. They even call ahead to ask you what you want this week.
That sounds...amazing. Shit, I wish that were a possibility where I live. I would sign up in an instant.
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@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
In the small town I'm from, there are still farmers who do weekly deliveries. They even call ahead to ask you what you want this week.
That sounds...amazing. Shit, I wish that were a possibility where I live. I would sign up in an instant.
Shit, I just wish I could have any sort of groceries delivered.
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@e4tmyl33t said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
In the small town I'm from, there are still farmers who do weekly deliveries. They even call ahead to ask you what you want this week.
That sounds...amazing. Shit, I wish that were a possibility where I live. I would sign up in an instant.
Shit, I just wish I could have any sort of groceries delivered.
We have multiple options for that. But the quality is not near as good as what you can get from a farmstand. The best I can do is when my father comes to visit. He has to drive through a swath of farmland to get to the interstate and if he is in a good mood I have him stop off at a farmstand on his way here and buy whatever looks good.
Other than that, we have a garden of raised beds in the yard where we grow stuff that is impossible to buy quality in the grocery. Like tomatoes.
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@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
stuff that is impossible to buy quality in the grocery. Like tomatoes.
Oh dear God yes. Even if you go to the expensive "organic"* stores, they usually only carry tasteless tomatoes which look nice.
BTW: Are you sure there are absolutely no delivery services for local produce where you live? Unless you live in the middle of a large metropolitan area without farmland, that'd actually surprise me.
*I don't give a shit about the "organic" label, but they usually have better produce, simply because their customers don't care if it's slightly more expensive.
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@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Oh dear God yes. Even if you go to the expensive "organic"* stores, they usually only carry tasteless tomatoes which look nice.
Grocery stores buy "BSD" tomatoes. Bright, shiny, durable. Taste is way down the list of priorities.
@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
BTW: Are you sure there are absolutely no delivery services for local produce where you live? Unless you live in the middle of a large metropolitan area without farmland, that'd actually surprise me.
I am pretty sure. Even the "Farmer's Markets" in this area carry the same shit that is available in the grocery. If you look under the tables they setup, you will see the same produce boxes you would see in the local grocery stores when they stock their bins. Same shit, different setting, higher prices. And I live in the Midwest, which means that as soon as you leave my metropolitan area it is nothing but farmland and has a very "Dueling Banjos" sort of feel.
@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
*I don't give a shit about the "organic" label, but they usually have better produce, simply because their customers don't care if it's slightly more expensive.
Me either. Pesticides that wash off and manufactured fertilizers don't scare me. I just want stuff that tastes good.
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@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Are you sure there are absolutely no delivery services for local produce where you live?
I haven't seen or heard about any. None of the grocery stores around here do it, and the closest I'd get that I'm aware of would be going down to the city square to the Farmer's Market to buy stuff. The only close thing I could do would be to sign up for one of the "prepared meals" services like Blue Apron or HelloFresh, but I'm wary about having someone else choose meals for me given how picky I can be about what I will/won't eat.
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@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Even the "Farmer's Markets" in this area carry the same shit that is available in the grocery.
That sucks. The weekly farmer's market on the square around the corner from my house is one of the reasons why I never regretted my choice to move into the city.
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I can get it delivered by both localish and national companies but there's no need as I get most of my fruit, vegetables and meat from a farm shop 10 minutes from my house where as much of the produce as possible is local. Even beer and wine.
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IoT is truly the new dotcom bubble.
The bags also cost between $4 and $6... for 8 ounces, or 75% of an aluminum can.
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@Yamikuronue said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
It's fruit and a blender
Not if you want pulp-free juice. Then it's, at best, fruit, a blender, and a strainer. Or it might be something that has to be shaped differently for each kind of fruit, like squeezing a lemon vs a pineapple. Pre-prepping the fruit to be squashed by their product and forced through a small strainer seems like a reasonable option, especially if you could peel the fruit and put it in a re-usable compartment yourself as well. Or you could just juice the fruit at the factory and sell a giant paperweight, like they did. But then you'll get caught, eventually.
My first step would be taking one of the packets and cutting the thing open to see what's inside.
Because if you're trying to juice real fruit you absolutely need more force than a hand to get the most juice out of the fruit, and it looks like they got everything.
My guess is that it's a nothing because the stuff in those packets only need as much force as to get out the funnel at all.
Probably pre-blended and pressed fruit.
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@asdf said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Fucking hell, has this idiot never lived outside a city center full of rich idiots? In the small town I'm from, there are still farmers who do weekly deliveries. They even call ahead to ask you what you want this week. They probably deliver better quality at 1/5th of the price, without extra plastic around the "green", "organic", "awesome" product.
Seems like it's an inevitability of living in a city.
They have to bring the food into the city, and if there's something between the farmer and you, it has to go through distribution, which would delay it by a day at minimum. Then it has to exchange hands so many times to end up on a retail shelf.
Part of the reason healthy food is so expensive is the way we distribute.
Processed foods don't have this problem because they buy produce in bulk, and direct, from large farmers.
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@loopback0 said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Fucking hell. It's fruit and a blender - how the fuck did people invest mega dollars for something that makes combining fruit and a blender difficult.
Actually, it is neither. It squeezes pre-juiced crap from a bag.
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@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Grocery stores buy "BSD" tomatoes. Bright, shiny, durable. Taste is way down the list of priorities.
A few years ago I read an article about tomatoes. The article was apparently inspired by the author's experience of seeing a tomato fall off a truck at 60mph and survive mostly unharmed.
Also, a very large percentage of tomatoes are grown in Florida, despite the fact that the soil and climate are not well suited for tomatoes, simply because a truck full of tomatoes can leave Florida and reach 75% of the U.S. in two days.
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@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
And I live in the Midwest, which means that as soon as you leave my metropolitan area it is nothing but farmland and has a very "Dueling Banjos" sort of feel.
Try asking around for CSAs. A lot of them require you to put in some work, but they'll guaruntee you a share of their produce.
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@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
And I live in the Midwest, which means that as soon as you leave my metropolitan area it is nothing but farmland and has a very "Dueling Banjos" sort of feel.
That is false. I've been there. It's "dueling banjos" minus the hills. And the trees :P
Signed, another midwesterner :)
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@sloosecannon Growing up on the west coast, I've never been too sure about how far east the midwest goes. Am I in the midwest now?
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Yes. I grew up in (maybe) the south (Florida, so lots of northerners).
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@RaceProUK Yeah, was just browsing wiki. Looks like that's a yes.
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@Yamikuronue said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@sloosecannon Growing up on the west coast, I've never been too sure about how far east the midwest goes. Am I in the midwest now?
Well, you're a little East of me, IIRC, but..... yes. Definitely yes :)
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@sloosecannon said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
@Polygeekery said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
And I live in the Midwest, which means that as soon as you leave my metropolitan area it is nothing but farmland and has a very "Dueling Banjos" sort of feel.
That is false. I've been there. It's "dueling banjos" minus the hills. And the trees :P
Signed, another midwesterner who has driven to your city to pick up stuff from you :)
FTFY ;)
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@bb36e said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
Google’s venture capital arm and other backers poured about $120 million into the startup.
Proof that the tech industry has too much money in its hands
Every "investor" has too much money in his hands these years. It's why interest rates are where they are.
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@CHUDbert said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
the south (Florida
There you have to go North to get to the Deep South.
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True, but still, the town I grew up in was mostly natives (at least for the kids I went to school with; the parents were all transplants because of Cape Canaveral, including mine).
I'll never forget the difference between a Saturn IV and space shuttle... you could FEEL the Saturn IV when it launched, space shuttle was more of a bottle rocket that rotated after launch.
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@CHUDbert 10 miles in any direction outside the city limits the accent changed.
I don't remember much about the Saturn launch I went to. I've never been to a shuttle launch.
I do remember another time being annoyed that all the TV channels were showing the same thing. Guy walking on Moon; what else can I watch?
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@bb36e said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
This is what really upset me -- instead of just putting a machine-readable expiry date on the pack they check against an online DB to verify that the pack hasn't expired. This sums up most of the IoT bullshit I see these days:
You're missing the real reason they have the QR code in place. It has jack shit to do with the expiration date, and they know they can just have OCR or something instead. The QR code is to prevent counterfeit pouches from being used with their juicer.
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@RaceProUK
That chard is missing a south location! Can't be!
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@Greybeard said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
There you have to go North to get to the Deep South.
Are you asserting that Florida is the Shallow South? (I could believe that…)
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@bb36e hey, they also check if the product hasn't been recalled. I'd pay $400 for that!
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@Luhmann Before I read that, let me guess: he thinks all the legitimate complaints are bullshit, and everyone should worship his genius.
Edit: I've now read it, and I pretty much guessed correctly. Though I did over-estimate his arrogance a bit.
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I guess we are lucky here in Britain. Many shops sell just the juice in a liquid container, like a bottle. This allows them to juice the fruit at a remote location, like Kenya.
I guess it's a throwback left over from 16th to 19th century that we still employ foreign people to prepair foods of our desire. At least now they get to own a small proportion of the land used to grow said food.
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“Juicero’s mission is to make it dramatically easier and more enjoyable to consume more fresh, raw fruits and vegetables, and that’s a really tough nut to crack,” Dunn wrote. (A fantastic turn of phrase that hopefully was intentional, given Juicero's claim to deliver four tons of force during the pressing process.) “It seems simple, but despite everything we’ve done to-date as a food community, we’ve barely moved the needle.”
Uh...so what? This is so far beyond FWP territory. Who is actually willing to routinely spend $8 for a glass of juice in their own home that they have to make themselves? I have nothing against conspicuous consumption, per se, but this just makes them look kind of dumb.
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@Helix said in Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze:
I guess we are lucky here in Britain. Many shops sell just the juice in a liquid container, like a bottle.
That is true, but the cheaper stuff is actually reconstituted from concentrate to reduce long-distance transport cost.