Sorry @Matt Westwood but I would have to call you an incompetent n00b as well, either that or you're just looking for some attention because your life is so boring & mundane you need it. When SP1 for Windows 7 was released (as an MSDN subscriber, Microsoft Beta Tester and a Member of the Microsoft Partner Network I get notified pronto when something comes available, like I was running Windows 7 Ultimate (RTM) before it was even available to the public) I applied the SP to my desktop, my laptop, my wife's desktop and her laptop as well, none of those systems took more than 15 minutes to complete the configuration of SP1.
As for your claim that i takes 5 minutes to start the only thing(s) to cause this is 1) Something running in the background (i.e; virus, malware, bloatware) 2) The system is running a boot scan, thus causing it to run a virus scan everything it boots.
Every computer in my house runs Windows 7 Ultimate and have yet to have any serious issues (and you're wrong the UI is perfectly usable, probably the best they're released ever). So why not tell us the specs of this phantom computer that has taken so long to apply SP1, I would be interested to know.