What I am going to write about is not an IT WTF but still I thought I might share this little story. I also apologize for this being a bit lengthy and for my grammar. Then again, noone forces you to read this...
A while ago I was riding my bike back from uni on a rainy day. All of a sudden a speeding BMW passed me barely missing my handlebar - I could actually feel the side mirror touching it. If he had even been one centimeter further to the right he would have rammed me into the parked cars. As if this hadn't been good enough, the driver immediately turned into the side street ahead of me (without even using his blinker) and came to an unexpected halt as there was another car in front of him. In other words he cut me off and I was forced to brake in order to avoid smashing into his rear. Due to the rainfall the streets were obviously quite wet so my bike slipped away under me and I somehow managed to land on my feet. I was quite unpleased about this to say the least. I approached the passenger window, expecting him to roll down the window so I could verbally abuse him. Well, he did not even bother to do that, made some some gesture that he did not care and drove off without even inquiring whether I was alright.
I'm not really a vengeful person but I didn't feel like letting him get away with that grossly negligent behaviour - especially after almost having me slammed into the parked cars and possibly having me killed. I called up the police and got asked whether I had been injured or the bike damaged. In such a case it would have been two criminal offences (one for the incident, one for taking off). But in my case there was nothing really they could do. Ironically I cursed about that fact... Damn, not even the slightest scratch or bruise! Nevertheless, the officer on the phone told me to file a complaint.
The same day, after a long night of programming and watching a few episodes of scrubs I decided to take a break, grabbed a good book and walked down to the police station around the corner. A few pages later an officer finally attended to me. He asked me what sort of report I wanted filed and told him that I wasn't sure, and suggested that it might be "Nötigung". I am not sure what the English term is, but it basically stands for some sort of Coercion or Duress. For example, that term is widely used for incidents in which someone coerces other drivers to change lanes or evasive maneuvers to make space for the (possibly speeding) offender. Likewise I assumed that this would be the case if he thwarted me. I knew that it didn't really matter anyway what I called it, as a state attorney usually decides about such things. So we sat down and I started to tell him the story. As a side note: I noticed he was writting the protocol onto a piece of paper while sitting next to the computer. Curiously I inquired why he didn't simply type it down to which he answered that it takes him ages and that he will do so later. After suggesting that I could just type it for him he became quite disgrunteled. I assume he didn't like the thought of someone laying hands on the sacred and prehistoric computer of his which btw was apparently lacking any GUI (and I'm not refering to some type of shell but rather some sort of DOSish looking editor... go figure).
Towards the end the officer looked up and asked me, why this was supposed to be an offence. "Nötigung" would require premeditation! He became even more sulky and upset and made a big fuzz about this. After his rant, I timidly apologized assuming the effort had been in vain and that I wasted the officer's precious time. I asked if this matter had to be dropped then. Hesitantly he conceded that it was a delict that could be fined for the driver not maintaining the required distance to me. So I expressed my wish to file a complaint about this if it was ok, fearing he would get even more upset by starting the whole process over again on a new form. After a long stern gaze he scribbled something on the document and checked off another tick and declared the report finished. He told me that the offender would be fined a small sum of 15€ or such. That was rather unsatisfying but at least I hoped that the driver might think twice next time. That was the end of the story....not!
Few months passed and I received a letter summoning me to a court hearing regarding that incident as a witness. I realized in disbelieve that the other guy must have had appealed to the lousy 15€ fine! Thus, a few weeks later I grabbed another book and walk down to the criminal court around the other corner (I know, I live close to both :D ). A few pages and cuffed crooks later I was asked into the court room. To my right I found a state attorney and to my left the former and involuntary acquaintance of mine accompanied by a lawyer. What a waste of court time and resources... Again I calmly told my version of the story. The lawyer did his job inquiring about specific details about speed, time-line, distance and such. Of course, it had been a while ago and thus my memory was not that detailed anymore. Frankly, I did not really care anymore anyway.
The accused got quite agitated and started to call me a 'militant cyclist', claimed that he was the actual victim. He also came up with a creative justification for why he abruptly turned his car after having passed me. He said that I was evidently so upset about the near collision that I chased after his BMW in anger. When he saw me coming up from behind with high speed, he thought I might crash into him. In order to safe my life he commenced an evasive maneuver by making his attempt to turn into the side street. His baby-son was in the backseat and thus he not only risked his life but that of his son as well by this heroic attempt to safe me. I knew there are plenty of cheap excuses but this one really made me loose my speech. Judging from the judge's bewildered face I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I did not even bother to mention that it was exactly that maneuver that cut me off as I was too busy trying not to laugh.
Nevertheless, the judge's decision was predictable: The fine was dropped as one person's word stood against another's. I shrugged and was about to leave when the driver approached me and started yelling at me. To my surprise he accused me of costing him 700€ which pretty much caught my attention. After carefully listening to his rant I learned that he spent that much on his lawyer, who by the way was neither required nor had been of any use anyway (after all this was just a fine and not a criminal charge). While I tried to maintain a straight face he continued his fuming speech threatening me to sue me to get that money back which, of course, would have no legal ground either. The amused judge strolled by and made a remark for him to calm down. With a smirk he added that just because the fine was dropped didn't mean he was innocent. I guess it did not only make my day...