Best posts made by LaoC
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RE: Internet of shit
It's getting kinda cold:
https://twitter.com/skoops/status/1065700195776847872/photo/1 -
RE: WTF Bites
So the wife wanted a Spotify account. I still think the whole streaming business is a pretty stupid idea, especially as I listen to a lot of music where I have only rather expensive if any connectivity, but OK, at least that liberates me from party muzak selection duty.
Of course the service is Not Available in My Cuntry™. Luckily I still have a German credit card and a VPN to France. So I go to spotify.com and it helpfully redirects me to spotify.com/fr/ so I can read everything in French. Because obviously HTTP's Accept-Language header is bullshit and the language people with French IP addresses understand best is always French. My French is pretty crap but at least I'm fluent in HTTP, so I try to replace that "fr" in the URL with "en". Nope, Spotify knows what's best for me and I get redirected to the French site again. Ah well. Crappy French is crappy but should do for filling up some form. Works well enough. When I get to the credit card part, however: "Il semble que vous utilisiez une carte du pays suivant : Allemagne. Votre compte Spotify doit être enregistré dans le même pays que votre mode de paiement. Remplacez par un compte en Allemagne ou utilisez une autre carte."WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! European Union, motherfuckers, have you heard of it?! It's none of your fucking business where my card is from! If this was an American company they'd be excused but they are SWEDES! Juncker Christ, WTF.
OK, at least they present me with a button "Change to Germany". The URL changes to
https://www.spotify.com/fr/something/something?country=DE
, they reset my payment method to motherfucking PayPal and give me this mishmash that perfectly matches the URL:
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RE: WTF Bites
@pie_flavor But what if shooting aliens is more important than getting updates?
With AI being all the rage now, they could just make it progressively less convenient. First two days you get to click "fuck off". Then you get a text box where you have to write "Please". After that it's a minimum of two grammatically correct sentences related to the topic of rebooting, until after a month or so you have to write a detailed essay on why it's really really important to postpone this update pretty please with sugar on top
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RE: WTF Bites
And they aren't even intelligently caching them
This is what you get when you let developers who can't even imagine a world without always-on connectivity design a solution for displaying a handful of pictures -
RE: WTF Bites
I briefly considered suicide, but eventually settled on alcoholism.
You're competing for the title of "most Polish thing said here", right?
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RE: Fun responses to spam phone calls
I wasn't really trolling but it was fun in the same way a couple of weeks ago. My company secretary from half a dozen time zones away calls me on the SIP phone and tells me there's a John Doe from Microsoft on the phone who wants to talk to me regarding "the data migration". Now I'm not currently migrating any data and most certainly not with anyone from Microsoft so I tell her he probably got the wrong name and she'd better connect him to the Windows admin.
Two weeks later he calls again, so I ask her to connect him lest she have to go through more iterations like this. Of course it's a recruiter, and he wants me to work for some Windows shop in Munich.I'm not sure how you got my name but I'm sure you don't want me for that job. I'm based in Laos. Kinda far.
Ohhh, doesn't matter, salary is really good, brilliant team, most people live somewhere in the 'burbs anyway. Whatcha say, just hop on the train for a day and pass by here and we'll talk about it and of course we pay for the ticket and all.
You don't want to pay for the ticket.
Sure we do, why not, and I'm sure as good as the job is you'll be convinced a little commute is worth it.
Well … you know, I've done the route by car once. Not exactly the same one but close. Took five fucking weeks, and it's not like I took a lot of breaks. And after that road through Siberia the car was so fucked up …
[faint sound of rusty cogs grinding]
You know where Laos is, right?
Uh … guess I don't.
Between Thailand, Vietnam and China. Toldcha it's far.
Uh … LOL, yeah, then probably, that's not a good idea.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla this joke just gets old, you know.
Unlike everyone on doctors' floor.
The software engineering floor makes up for it.
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RE: WTF Bites
Thou shalt have eight characters in thy PIN, no more, no less. Eight shall be the number of characters in thy PIN, and the number of characters in thy PIN shall be eight. Nine shalt thou not put in, neither put thou in seven, excepting that thou proceedeth to add one more. Sixteen is right out. And don't ask us why we call it a "PIN", we have no fucking clue.
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RE: WTF Bites
https://twitter.com/kvz/status/1458716279670554635
Evil haxx0rzto00lz, block all the things!!!!1
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RE: Internet of shit
The next chapter of the Nike saga in which exactly nobody gets a surprise:
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RE: WTF Bites
WTF of the day is a double ORACLE, again: MySQL && Java.
We run a bunch of Galera 5 database clusters that developers access using MySQL Connector/J. I updated the test system and got a complaint that the update causes the application to crash with an error from the database driver indicating it doesn't understand the
CEST
time zone and they had to downgrade the driver from 8.x to 5.x to fix it.
Three major versions down, and that one works?
Turns out 8.x is the direct successor of 5.x and a separately maintained branch. It's MySQL. But that's not TRWTF.So why did 5.x apparently understand one of the world's most commonly used time zones and 8.x doesn't? Well, that's because neither did 5.x, they just changed a few defaults in 8.x so that 8.x will now need to understand the server's time zone where 5.x simply ignored it unless you explicitly told it otherwise. Our developers upgraded the driver to 8.x in winter so they didn't notice because it does understand
CET
. And as the server only checks its time zone once on startup, they didn't find out at DST switch time either, only when I restarted the box for system updates.
Not TRWTF either.To fix it, I found you can add an entry to
my.cnf
(cnf, cnf, cnf. Seeing this DOS relic on a 21st century Linux box makes me aggressive already) to configure the server to something likeEurope/Berlin
that uses the zoneinfo DB to automagically take DST into account without changing the time zone name twice a year, which is admittedly a stupid concept to begin with. Tried it out on the first node, restarted - and it doesn't start because it doesn't understand the name. OK, I missed a step there: it's too stupid to use the system zoneinfo; you have to usemysql_tzinfo_to_sql
to convert the zones into its internal format (and remember to do that whenever the system files change!). So I do that, start the node again - and the whole cluster goes down in flames because it just proudly told all the other nodes of its shiny new time zone that they don't understand and instead of just not letting it join the party they shit all over themselves.
but not yetSo I get the cluster up again with the old zone name and try to set up the zoneinfo tables on all the nodes before reconfiguring the first. Works fine on all nodes. Reconfigure Node 1, restart:
unknown time zone
.
I just loaded the fucking tables, what else do you want?!
Check the tables: they'res empty. Actually, they're also empty on node #2, only #3 is fine. Load it again on #1: now it's fine on #1 but node 2 and 3's are emptyTurns out those tables are MyISAM, and for raisins can't be anything else. MySQL's zoneinfo conversion tool creates SQL to first
TRUNCATE
everything and then reload the tables with data read from the file system. And Galera Cluster? It replicates theTRUNCATE TABLE
to all nodes but then silently drops all the followingINSERT
s because MyISAM.I worked around it by creating a dump without any DDL and copying that to every node before reconfiguring them, cleansing my workstation with chicken blood and spending the rest of the work day fapping furiously over a PostgreSQL manual.
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RE: WTF Bites
Yes, Microsoft, "A" translates to German as "ein" or "eine", and "I" to "ich". It's technical documentation so it should be technically correct, right?
Also nice how they give the unused parts of the index an extra separator to make sure they're easier to not click on.
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RE: WTF Bites
It's -22°C in Chicago and everything in our data center is shutting down because it's 42°C inside.
Bloody aircon froze, and apparently they don't have any way of just doing the datacenter-safe equivalent of opening a windowEdit: OK, could be worse …
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RE: I hate printers, with a passion
It's not always cyan.
The famous Cyan-Mayo-Yellow-Ketchup color system.
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RE: WTF Bites
The price for a Spiderman action figure according to the scanner in this German department store is NULL. I got weird looks when I offered to buy it for NaN Euros.
Luckily they had other articles on sale for only json Parse error though.
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RE: A fool and his not-really-money are soon parted
Payroll in an online spreadsheet, links on Discord … it just ticks all the boxes again. -
RE: WTF Bites
Nice try at a mobile site, Thai Airways. Yes, "human readable" has been cited as an advantage of JSON sometimes. No, that does not mean what you think it means.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Is tinnitus on that list?
What is tinnitus? The name rings a bell...
Welcome to the tinnitus hotline! Please leave your message after the beep.
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RE: WTF Bites
Old and busted: OSX and DisplayPostscript
New hotness: DOS and DisplayHTML