@hungrier said in Business Meeting Humor:
coal
I know your right, mine was a miner mistake compared to that story
@hungrier said in Business Meeting Humor:
coal
I know your right, mine was a miner mistake compared to that story
In my first job i misunderstood a stationary order form and ordered a whole pallet of Tipp-Ex (correction fluid) instead of just one bottle..................... BIG MISTAKE!
I would tell you a joke about UDP, but you might not get it.
I guess we are lucky here in Britain. Many shops sell just the juice in a liquid container, like a bottle. This allows them to juice the fruit at a remote location, like Kenya.
I guess it's a throwback left over from 16th to 19th century that we still employ foreign people to prepair foods of our desire. At least now they get to own a small proportion of the land used to grow said food.
@Helix said in Check for all zeros:
return new DateTime_wtf_!
Gosh I was drinking heavily in those days - I couldn't even type without spewing tags
I had to rebuild a windows XP machine for support of a legacy product.
Since it is a new install I thought I should put on some free anti-virus and had a quick look at Avira and Avast:
Loading up Avira website in IE 11 presents this little infographic:
Avira - equally as poor detection as the other free competition
I guess there is some script nonsense issue, but why have script for something that could just be a static graphic?
@Lorne-Kates said in Lorne has the misfortune of being an idiot by circumstance: my experience with windows 10 so far:
- Turn off Cortana
- Disable all location tracking
- Disable anything that might send information to Bing
- Porn mode on
.............So progress news.
TIL I relearned why we don't be casual about these things.
It turns out I was wrong to turn my back on years of experience by saying "pfft we can re-factor and keep the code functioning the same. Stuff the design documents i've got this covered."
@djls45
Suicide showers. I bumped into those in Brazil. My assumption was that the last person wasn't killed, so I could just shower quickly then GTFO.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNjA0aee07k
We should all co-develop some new forum software. It could have a feature with "mandatory search before starting new thread", Infinitely long pages and mods to shut down threads that are not on topic.
Personally I find putting the CD player above the amp and the amp above the speakers helps, so the electricity can run downhill. The difference is very subtle, but it seems to improve the imaging and adds a touch more bass.
Suggest a quick search on the forum before starting a new thread, otherwise we will be repeating ourselves every year instead of creating new content:
https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/21764/wall-tap-mystery/16
@wharrgarbl
Kept watching waiting for the moment where he shouts "aggghhh you bastard, my finger... i think it's severed"
@Mikael_Svahnberg
We had a similar silly problem such as this.
The solution was simple, call around to find a supplier to deliver (e.g large packs of bottle water) and give an invoice suitable for expenses.
Or even better, if the head of department has flexible expenses up to a certain limit... find a water dispenser supplier that will invoice it as 'bottled water' over several months. Head of department gets told not buy bottled water, by which time you have a dispenser!
@Lorne-Kates said in Rejected Rejection Letters:
oh i didn't realize i was applying for a DRIVING job
This reminds me of a story:
Once I was doing some contracting and a large company I knew had a shortage in my kind of development work. It was the largest company I had ever worked for, around 200 staff. It was fairly senior work and the MD (CEO) wanted to give me the final grilling. I had known some of the (now senior) colleagues I would be working with for a few years, and many people in the company knew this. This grilling interview was maybe my third official interview in the company, we had talked about my rate and basic scope of work long before.
ANYWAY: at the end of the grilling he says "of course we have a policy of not hiring contractors, employees (with employment contract) only. But don't worry, we will arrange a suitable salary etc etc". I was pretty cheesed off at the time and did state that contractor makes a lot more sense for his company and maybe we talk about permanent employment after a trial period.
I mulled the situation over at home and in the meantime I got a official acceptance letter with salary and a pretty standard looking employment contract for me to sign. To be fair the salary was good and other work was starting to dry up.
Although I had known about the company for a while, now I had actually started and was in the belly of the machine, it turned out working there SUCKS.
Everyone was standing on top of each other using the threat of 'reporting you to HR' to get their work done, no-one wants to hear about change. A common phrase is 'that's how it's always been done' and when you try to change/review processes the manager or whoever in charge of said process has been in the company for 15+ years and suffered NIH syndrome or 'our process IS modern we adopted it in the 90's' or just 'this is how the MD wants it'. Yeah . Sucks.
I ended up leaving within 4-5 weeks, no sooner as they had set up my salary tax, payroll etc they had to issue a P45 (End of employment tax form). Well , I did tell the MD it would be easier as contractor, just one invoice.
To keep a long story short... I don't really talk to anyone there any more regularly as the work I do now is not really in the same realm as them. Except I did bump into one of the friendlier guys and we had a discussion about who wins the award of shortest ever employment in the company. He said it's either me OR...
Once they took on a sales rep who lived locally and they talked about the role might have a certain field element and if so there is travel allowance expenses etc etc. Nobody actually asked outright if he had a VALID driving license.
So he had been coming in to the office for around a week for induction/training. On the second week his line manager said, we should start planning some customer visits, we meet at town X, and then visit customer Y. His reply "Oh ok that would be good to meet and then you drive on, you know i need to arrange taxi to town X". His line manager probes into asking why he needs a taxi, the reply:
"Yeah my license is suspended for 9 months, since I was caught speeding and had a 12 month ban"
Here you go, you need to be a certified internet engineer:
Can You Spell "TCP/IP"?
Can you tell a packet from a turnip?
Do you think IPX is a Sun Computer?
Why isn't "Cisco" is a town in the Sierra Nevada?
Do you use a router to move packets or to cut grooves in wood?
If you answered yes to these questions, YOU may have the makings of CERTIFIED INTERNET ENGINEER!
Do you want to impress "the suits"?
Want to use our cool logo?
Then YOU should be a CERTIFIED INTERNET ENGINEER!
As discussed here:
https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/7336/certified-internet-engineer/23
Self deluded dickheads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12GHUf8DOPs
Hi,
I have free reign to work from home, pretty much all the time. I am the sole person on a project which only my boss knows about and although i have tried to bounce some ideas off he says he doesn't have much time and doesn't know the codebase.
Knowing i have a ton of work to do on it but can't get away from reading aimlessly on blogs/youtube etc. Feel like I am the WTF.
Anyone know any ways to help with this? I have tried to plan goals and little code sprints with myself but i can't be arsed to complete them....
@RaceProUK
I believe it is within GPL v2
and:
"Yes. You can charge any fee you wish for distributing a copy of the program"
@El_Heffe
my wife is not so keen anymore
@MathNerdCNU
Exactly, if I create a process to do this automatically; users will have software which is neatly packaged from one convenient store front.
Meanwhile I charge, say $2 for being the person that brings them such convenience.
@Zerosquare
Yes, the BMW I had (more then a few years ago) literally does this.
GPS is limited to 5 digit postcode unless you get navigation pro. How hard it is for software to store/search 7 digit postcode instead of a 5 digit? even though a cheapo TomTom has done this since 2004.
I was just pleased to find we had a thread on the topic already.
It seems that if you stick to the idea of "One and only one topic of conversation per thread" things are pretty organised......
@twelvebaud
Like cold calls, if you haven't got it in the first say 2kb of header, then hang up the phone.
Wow, @blakeyrat hits the nail on the head. I have exactly the same rant now I have a 4k monitor in-between my two older HDMI monitors. Not only if I switch the 4k off, on screen timeout it completely messes up the desktop by pushing the icons to the (also timedout but still connected) HDMI screens.
Edit: ALSO the sound device is changed to the graphics card, even though the motherboard sound is selected as 'default for playback'.
Did you guys read about this:
tl;rd Guys kickstarter idea was copied and sold before his campaign finished
I keep seeing this thread as "Python Babe!" and hoping for the best
Edit: 'bold' is broken
I particularly hate Linux fanboyz:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pOt3MxOSSY
@djls45
Maybe he is just he is just logged in for the furry thread
@ben_lubar said in Next Windows 10 major update will use machine learning to "try" not to force-reboot at the wrong time:
@Atazhaia said in Next Windows 10 major update will use machine learning to "try" not to force-reboot at the wrong time:
@ben_lubar Meanwhile, Linux Mint can update Adobe Flash just fine without needing a reboot. Maybe Windows tied flash technology tightly into the OS like it likes to do with web tech?
Also, Windows has a dumb thing where it's not able to update executables that are running, so you can't ever install an update pre-reboot.
Chromebooks do an interesting thing where every update installs an alternate copy of the OS so that the changes required to reboot are just a single bit saying "use the other copy of the OS".
But it still needs a reboot? what's the difference?
@Gribnit
Since when did insulin pump software run on PCs??
Hi,
I registered to discourse to reply to this... so you better read it.
Many years ago I was a member of prudential health insurance in the UK which implemented Vitality scheme, I think this is unique to them.
They use a service which takes all the health inputs and outputs a 'health score'... I think it was called a Q score... I can't remember the company name that provides this service.
Anyhow it sounds like your company has moved it's health insurance to prudential or a linked company on the promise of 'on average' cheaper premiums assuming that most staff follow a healthy life style. So they offer the HR department a cheaper quote for the first year, and an HR executive gets a pat on the back for cost savings. In the meantime they pass on the risk buck by asking you to do all the work to quantify the risk.
What happens is over the year they collect data and then adjust the next premium, if no data for that person then assume the worse case. Of cause the HR dept. complains but the service provider says "if you get us more data the outcome might be more favourable".
And yes, when I did a private Vitality scheme it did include offering information on dietary salt, fat etc, reading articles on healthy eating and life style and submitted assessments from the gym.
I did this because in the UK they reduced the heath insurance premium and also supplemented gym membership. Since I already wanted both at the time it worked out to be a good discount for the bother. It was something like 30GBP per month for basic health insurance and membership to virgin active, whereas buying both separately was 80GBP per month at the time (2006??).
Thinking about ditching my android Motorola z2 phone and going back to windows Lumia 950... Android bugs the crap out of me.
@Greybeard
Sorry - bad case of brain derps today
Edit: bad, bad case; i even replied to the wrong person
Someone should check the latest builds of SSDS to this:
http://www.windowscentral.com/new-microsoft-garage-project-breaks-down-video-better-searching
"Let me just write a quick util for our millions of customers"
public function main_MCT()
Try
CopyFiles()
Catch
msgbox "Sorry something went wrong: 0x0" + RndHexString()
Finally
DelTempFiles()
End Try
End function
"Right that good enough for someone to test, let me go grab a beer".
@NedFodder
Well i was going to go for buckfast
@dcon said in Benjamin Button reviews the new MacBook Pro:
@boomzilla said in Benjamin Button reviews the new MacBook Pro:
The TouchBar thing seems like it could be useful but will probably mostly be a PITA that users ignore.
Developers too. Seriously, why would I spend time writing something for a single machine. With my cross-platform program.
It won't be popular format until we get porn on it.
@blakeyrat
Yeah I know. I have got everything i wanted in a job, but funnily enough it's not what I need in a job... feeling unproductive.
@mikael_svahnberg
Thats what touchID is for.... oh wait
@blakeyrat
Well i have been fixing bugs with code that was added 2012, and amended around 2014.. and it's poorly commented. So I am trying to understand why/what feature it was added for. The team is two guys who tell me it's pretty organised with the folder names (!) and all I have to do is use beyond compare to find when it was added
Since there is 700 or so copies from 2007 on average there is 77 folders per year. Although in practice there is a ton of releases when there is a flurry of features added.
Not only will this be a tool for my own sanity it will be a way of demonstration why 'folder name' version control has to go.
The day my CEO gives me an email in all caps is the day i hand in my resignation.