@boomzilla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Doctor's note: "patient appears irrational".
@boomzilla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Doctor's note: "patient appears irrational".
Stopped to pick up some ice cream shortly before (10pm) closing time at Safeway tonight. Just as I got into the store the manager gets on the PA system and announces :
"Attention, Safeway shoppers. The time is now nine forty-eight, and we will be closing in twenty-eight minutes."
(pause)
"I mean eighteen minutes."
(pause, while I mutter to myself in the spice aisle, "try twelve".)
"That should be twelve minutes. I can do math."
I just wish I could have had him at the checkout counter a few minutes later trying to make change for my purchase.
@PJH said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@izzion said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I must confess it took me entirely too long to get where 4416 came from.
For those who can't empathise her stupidity (like me - I needed the picture clue)...
Must be one of my former students:
Them: "There's no P in hamster..."
Me: "Maybe you're just not squeezing them hard enough."
And then there's the classic set of sentences when you have to write a reference letter for someone you'd rather not:
*** To describe a candidate who is woefully inept:
I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever.
*** To describe a candidate who you were happy to part company with:
I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine.
*** To describe a candidate who is not particularly industrious:
In my opinion you will be very fortunate to get this person to work for you.
*** To describe a candidate who is not worth further consideration:
I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment.
*** To describe a candidate with lackluster credentials:
All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him/her too highly.
*** To describe a candidate who is so unproductive the position would be better left unfilled:
I can assure you that no person would be better for this job.
@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DoctorJones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So for some reason I made this
Reminds me of the airport announcement I once heard:
<click>
Your attention please. Will all passengers who have not already done so, please do so immediately. Thank you.
<click>
If you're gonna cosplay C3PO and R2D2, you can't do much better than this....
Actually, I'm not worried at all. My "family" is just the cats, and they've got this social distancing thing down cold.
@Cursorkeys said in In other news today...:
Back when it was still legal to do so in the US, my father once got an application asking for his race, to which he replied "Irish".
When the forms were being reviewed at the union hall, someone held it up and said "is that white Irish or black Irish?" Dad's response: "It's green Irish!"
@xaade I know a few stingrays that would like a word with you....
Turning 35 years old this year (i.e. begain in 1989);
the world-wide web
The Simpsons
@loopback0 Those Welsh people are weird.
(How do you make vichysoisse? First, you take a leek.)
@dangeRuss I wonder if @sockpuppet7 saw the movies dubbed.
@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
How old is this picture? Edith Head died in 1981.
@Mason_Wheeler Until they cast Margot Robbie as Barbie, this was the best example of casting on record. If Christopher Lloyd had not existed, or had otherwise been unavailable, who would you have cast as Doc Brown?
(My choices would have been John Lithgow, or if he too was not available, Matt Frewer, which would have had the additional effect of both of the actors pictured above being Canadian.)
@Carnage said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Why are all the first halves misspelled so badly in the last column?
Ablaut.
I thought we had a "Fun with maps" thread where this could reasonably go, but I can't find it, so I'm putting it here. If it's out there some place, you're welcome to jeff it to that thread instead:
@remi said in Random Question of the Day:
Or maybe I'm confusing with l'École des Robinsons (uh, English title is apparently Godfrey Morgan?!?),
A common misconception, that. "Godfrey Morgan" is actually the name of the doctor who creates the monster.