smashed flat and shaped tofu fried to a crisp with tons of salt and a liquid smoke marinade.
Joking aside, that does actually sound quite tasty. Though I might lay off the large quantities of salt.
Well, the emboldened part does make pretty much anything better...
so..... cellulose fried to a crisp is a delicacy?
"pretty much anything" allows me to say NO
hmm. your loss.
/me deep fat fries a 2x4