Emergency Fix



  • Very early yesterday morning, the manager of a peer team asked my boss if he could borrow me to do an emergency change. Of course given that my boss is a team player, he said yes. Of course, he assumed that emergency change meant some short task. I go to the other manager, and he gives me the royal everything-else-is-more-important-than-you stall all day.

    Finally, around $QuittingTime - 5 minutes, he has time for me. He tells me the details of the change. It's a LOT of work. About two months worth. I pointed out that this is a feature that neither his system nor ours is scheduled to support until next February.

    It turns out that while having drinks with our customer, he promised that he could deliver the feature in his part of the system (the UI) for the customer. Then, if the underlying and backing systems didn't handle it properly, it could be put in as an emergency bug fix and it would get done ahead of the scheduled delivery date.

    In other words, he wanted me to grind away (to the detriment of my system) to implement the change in his system so he could use it to put our team between a rock and a hard place.

    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.

    Then I told my boss, B+1 and B+2 (common) what just happened. Then I went home.

    When I came in this morning, I found a flurry or escalating emails that went up to the C-suite in our little corner of Hell, and up above into MegaCorp.

    Apparently, MegaCorp doesn't like line managers undermining approved schedules that go out to the customer with end-around-runs.

    Needless to say, the peer manager is peer-no-more.

    I chimed in (with reply-all, or course) to point out the main function of the other team now belongs under our purview (it really does, and multiple levels of managers have been saying so for a while), and since there is no longer anyone to manage the other team, that perhaps, it could be absorbed into my boss' domain empire team.


    I don't know if it'll happen, but if it does, it's better for him, more work (spelled: job security) for us, and probably a whole lot more WTFs to post for you.



  • @snoofle said:

    it could be absorbed into my boss' domain empire team.

    RESISTANCE IS FUTILE



  • Well done sir!



  •  My hero comes through again!



  • @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.



  • @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.

    (F)uck (O)ff

     


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @snoofle said:

    (F)uck (O)ff

    There's no need to be rude he just wanted to know what it meant.



  • @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.

    (F)uck (O)ff

     


    Catalan
    Chinese
    Croatian

    No corporate-speak.

     

     

     



  • @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.

    (F)uck (O)ff

    Catalan
    Chinese
    Croatian

    No corporate-speak.


    Corporate-speak for Fuck Off: 

    Listen, if you think for one second that I am going to sacrifice projects, work and productivity not to mention my personal time, in order to do something you should not be doing on your project, and put my team and more specifically myself on the hot seat just so you can look good to the client, then you are out of your pointy headed little mind Mr. Manager!




  • @snoofle said:

    he gives me the royal everything-else-is-more-important-than-you stall all day.
     

    must... control... fist... of... death...

    @snoofle said:

    It turns out that while having drinks with our customer, he promised that he could deliver the feature in his part of the system (the UI) for the customer. Then, if the underlying and backing systems didn't handle it properly, it could be put in as an emergency bug fix and it would get done ahead of the scheduled delivery date.

    So, it's not actually an emergency fix, it's $manager->fuckwit recategorising something to artificially raise its priority.

    @snoofle said:

    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.

    "I thought there was a corporate policy against committing the organisation to work that we know will cost us dear to deliver, especially when it's not actually an emergency change, it's just a normal change that's been reprioritised yet offers us no benefit. Oh, yes - it's called lying to our customers. Is that the right term?"

    (an alternative is "Sorry, I was told that there's an emergency change I have to attend. I'm too busy dealing with that to spare the time cashing cheques your mouth wrote")

    @snoofle said:

    Apparently, MegaCorp doesn't like line managers undermining approved schedules that go out to the customer with end-around-runs.

    I'm starting to feel things are looking much rosier with your new Overlords. It seems there is Clue from high - but still, the trickle down into pockets of cluelessness takes some time.

    @snoofle said:

    Needless to say, the peer manager is peer-no-more.

    Result! Hopefully others will understand that what they did was wrong, and paid the price.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    snoofle, have you ever considered writing a book? There are a lot of people who could benefit from a book on how to work effectively in a WTF company.



  • @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.

    (F)uck (O)ff

    Catalan
    Chinese
    Croatian

    No corporate-speak.


    Corporate-speak for Fuck Off: 

    Listen, if you think for one second that I am going to sacrifice projects, work and productivity not to mention my personal time, in order to do something you should not be doing on your project, and put my team and more specifically myself on the hot seat just so you can look good to the client, then you are out of your pointy headed little mind Mr. Manager!


     

    Let me try again and be totally explicit. It sucks when you have to explain humor. 

    I was curious what words you actually used in 'corporate-speak'. Google Translate does not know the language named 'Corporate Speak', so I couldn't just type FO into my igoogle widget. Corporate-Speak would sort right there in the list between the Chinese and Croation languages.

    I was NOT questioning your use of the word.


    I am curious if other people understood my humor without the explanation.

     



  • @Rick said:

    I am curious if other people understood my humor without the explanation.

    First time I assumed you weren't a native english speaker, though the second bit you did made it seem as though there was something else going on there.  Reaching a little too far in your attempt is all.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Rick said:

    I am curious if other people understood my humor without the explanation.
    At least one other didn't - I initially thought you were asking what 'FO' stood for.



  • @PJH said:

    @Rick said:
    I am curious if other people understood my humor without the explanation.
    At least one other didn't - I initially thought you were asking what 'FO' stood for.
     

    Seconded. Acronyms aren't always obvious, so that's what I attributed the query to.



  • @Rick said:

    It sucks when you have to explain humor. 
     

    You mean when you make a really bad joke. :)



  • @snoofle said:

    Needless to say, the peer manager is peer-no-more.

    I chimed in (with reply-all, or course) to point out the main function of the other team now belongs under our purview (it really does, and multiple levels of managers have been saying so for a while), and since there is no longer anyone to manage the other team, that perhaps, it could be absorbed into my boss' domain empire team.

     

    In the movie version, the displaced peer manager is even now setting up a hidden lair in a volcano somewhere, and is plotting his revenge on you, your boss, and the whole company.

    And for some reason he's somehow started wearing an eyepatch.

     



  • @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.

    (F)uck (O)ff

    Catalan
    Chinese
    Croatian

    No corporate-speak.


    Corporate-speak for Fuck Off: 

    Listen, if you think for one second that I am going to sacrifice projects, work and productivity not to mention my personal time, in order to do something you should not be doing on your project, and put my team and more specifically myself on the hot seat just so you can look good to the client, then you are out of your pointy headed little mind Mr. Manager!


     

    Let me try again and be totally explicit. It sucks when you have to explain humor. 

    I was curious what words you actually used in 'corporate-speak'. Google Translate does not know the language named 'Corporate Speak', so I couldn't just type FO into my igoogle widget. Corporate-Speak would sort right there in the list between the Chinese and Croation languages.

    I was NOT questioning your use of the word.


    I am curious if other people understood my humor without the explanation.

     

    Yes.  It was amusing.  Then someone wrote "(F)uck (O)ff" as a response and setup another joke that was also amusing where someone else said something like, "you don't have to be rude to him."  I also thought Snoofles translation was amusing.  I guess you explaining your humor was amusing because you thought you had to explain it.



  •  Rick has made a Snoofle thread suck. Burn him.



  • @da Doctah said:

    @snoofle said:

    Needless to say, the peer manager is peer-no-more.

    I chimed in (with reply-all, or course) to point out the main function of the other team now belongs under our purview (it really does, and multiple levels of managers have been saying so for a while), and since there is no longer anyone to manage the other team, that perhaps, it could be absorbed into my boss' domain empire team.

     

    In the movie version, the displaced peer manager is even now setting up a hidden lair in a volcano somewhere, and is plotting his revenge on you, your boss, and the whole company.

    And for some reason he's somehow started wearing an eyepatch.

     

    It's a promotional gift realtors give with each super villian lair sold.  I hear some places even offer a free henchman with a unique deformity when purchasing luxury lairs.

     



  • @galgorah said:

    @da Doctah said:

    And for some reason he's somehow started wearing an eyepatch.


    It's a promotional gift realtors give with each super villian lair sold.  I hear some places even offer a free henchman with a unique deformity when purchasing luxury lairs.

    Hmm...the thing about eye patches might offer clues about their taste in web design.



  • @snoofle said:

    ..., and probably a whole lot more WTFs to post for you.
    And that, in the end, is what it's all about.

     



  • The biggest WTF here for me is that the peer manager got fired and not promoted for "improving customer satisfaction".



  • @snoofle said:

    [...] and probably a whole lot more WTFs to post for you.

    In that case, I beg the gods of WTF to make it happen.



  • @Rick said:

    Croation
    You mispelt "Croissant".



  • @Severity One said:

    @snoofle said:

    ..., and probably a whole lot more WTFs to post for you.

    And that, in the end, is what it's all about.

     

     

    </HokeyPokey>

     



  • @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:


    I told him (in corporate-speak) to FO.
      I am not good with spoken languages, and google translate doesn't seem to know that one.

    "That's the kind of change that needs to be authorised. Leave it with me"

    Skip forward to the Boss, Boss+1 and Boss+2 bit.



  • @Cassidy said:

    @snoofle said:

    Needless to say, the peer manager is peer-no-more.

    Result! Hopefully others will understand that what they did was wrong, and paid the price.

    No you fool, he was promoted.


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