Instructions



  • I had to create an additional queue to shove high priority messages to the front of the line to be  handled as soon as possible. Why not use a priority queue? I mean, that's what they're for, right?

    Well, the folks on the other teams aren't familiar with queues, and priority queues are a bit beyond their scope, so to make it easier for them, we're just adding a second queue and calling it a priority queue.

    MmmmmK.

    I make the necessary changes, and provide oral instructions to my counterpart: "In addition to: x.y.z.thequeue, we now have: x.y.z.thequeuepriority (lower case)".

    Time passes and I get a message: I need help; my program won't connect to your queue.

    After I verify the queue manager is running, I go look at his code and it looks fine. I look in his configurations and find: x.y.z.thequeueprioritylowercase

    He thought we would only be sending messages in lower case on the queue.

    This is someone who speaks English so fluently it's laughable, and who has been programming long enough that he should know better.

     

     



  • @snoofle said:

    I had to create an additional queue to shove high priority messages to the front of the line to be  handled as soon as possible. Why not use a priority queue? I mean, that's what they're for, right?

    Well, the folks on the other teams aren't familiar with queues, and priority queues are a bit beyond their scope, so to make it easier for them, we're just adding a second queue and calling it a priority queue.

    MmmmmK.

    I make the necessary changes, and provide oral instructions to my counterpart: "In addition to: x.y.z.thequeue, we now have: x.y.z.thequeuepriority (lower case)".

    Time passes and I get a message: I need help; my program won't connect to your queue.

    After I verify the queue manager is running, I go look at his code and it looks fine. I look in his configurations and find: x.y.z.thequeueprioritylowercase

    He thought we would only be sending messages in lower case on the queue.

    This is someone who speaks English so fluently it's laughable, and who has been programming long enough that he should know better.

     

     

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.

     



  • @Rick said:

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.



  • @snoofle said:

    I had to create an additional queue to shove high priority messages to the front of the line to be  handled as soon as possible. Why not use a priority queue? I mean, that's what they're for, right?

    Well, the folks on the other teams aren't familiar with queues, and priority queues are a bit beyond their scope, so to make it easier for them, we're just adding a second queue and calling it a priority queue.

    MmmmmK.

    I make the necessary changes, and provide oral instructions to my counterpart: "In addition to: x.y.z.thequeue, we now have: x.y.z.thequeuepriority (lower case)".

    Time passes and I get a message: I need help; my program won't connect to your queue.

    After I verify the queue manager is running, I go look at his code and it looks fine. I look in his configurations and find: x.y.z.thequeueprioritylowercase

    He thought we would only be sending messages in lower case on the queue.

    This is someone who speaks English so fluently it's laughable, and who has been programming long enough that he should know better.

     

     

    Yeah. When we still had those honkin' big CRT screens and I worked in tech support, I once asked over the telephone: 'And, what's on your screen?'

    'A pot of flowers, why?'

    'Let me rephrase that...'

    Honestly, you sometimes had to go lawyer-esque lengths in your task descriptions because those bloody morons would be so literal-minded sometimes...

    "Click on 'OK' when I say so - but not now... You already clicked? Ok, let's try that again. Please listen first and wait until a predetermined time set by me when, upon receiving the 'Go!' command, you will follow my commands to the letter..."



  • Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "



  • @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.

    Hung over from drinking the night before maybe. It would still be alcohol related.

     



  • @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.

    Hung over from drinking the night before maybe. It would still be alcohol related.
    No, I've heard of this before.  It's an illness known as "moronitis", which has no known cure.  Some of the symptoms *can* be alleviated with vigorous and repeated applications of cluebat.


  • @ubersoldat said:

    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "

    And how often did they come back to you with complaining they get an error for an illegal argument "(without" and "quotes)"?



  • @C-Octothorpe said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.

    Hung over from drinking the night before maybe. It would still be alcohol related.
    No, I've heard of this before.  It's an illness known as "moronitis", which has no known cure.  Some of the symptoms *can* be alleviated with vigorous and repeated applications of cluebat.
     

    If it's bad enough, a clue by four can also be applied.

     



  • @powerlord said:

    @C-Octothorpe said:

    @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.

    Hung over from drinking the night before maybe. It would still be alcohol related.
    No, I've heard of this before.  It's an illness known as "moronitis", which has no known cure.  Some of the symptoms *can* be alleviated with vigorous and repeated applications of cluebat.
     

    If it's bad enough, a clue by four can also be applied.

     

    In my experience you can't fix stupid.

     



  • @Rick said:

    @snoofle said:
    @Rick said:
    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.
    Hung over from drinking the night before maybe. It would still be alcohol related.

    Or perhaps when he was a child his drunk momma dropped him on his head a few dozen times.



  • @ubersoldat said:

    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "
    Use a monospaced font for the arguments. And make sure not to put any punctuation immediately after it.



  • @pjt33 said:

    @ubersoldat said:
    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "
    Use a monospaced font for the arguments. And make sure not to put any punctuation immediately after it.
    What advice do you have for the guy that you tell "Now type cmdultrafoo, no spaces" and he types command ultra foo no spaces?



  • @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:

    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.

     

    Are you sure you can tell the difference?

     



  • @snoofle said:

    I had to create an additional queue to shove high priority messages to the front of the line to be  handled as soon as possible. Why not use a priority queue? I mean, that's what they're for, right?

    Well, the folks on the other teams aren't familiar with queues, and priority queues are a bit beyond their scope, so to make it easier for them, we're just adding a second queue and calling it a priority queue.

    MmmmmK.

    I make the necessary changes, and provide oral instructions to my counterpart: "In addition to: x.y.z.thequeue, we now have: x.y.z.thequeuepriority (lower case)".

    Time passes and I get a message: I need help; my program won't connect to your queue.

    After I verify the queue manager is running, I go look at his code and it looks fine. I look in his configurations and find: x.y.z.thequeueprioritylowercase

    He thought we would only be sending messages in lower case on the queue.

    This is someone who speaks English so fluently it's laughable, and who has been programming long enough that he should know better.

     

     


    Hey guys it's so cool to quote the entire OP I wanna try
    @snoofle said:

    I had to create an additional queue to shove high priority messages to the front of the line to be  handled as soon as possible. Why not use a priority queue? I mean, that's what they're for, right?

    Well, the folks on the other teams aren't familiar with queues, and priority queues are a bit beyond their scope, so to make it easier for them, we're just adding a second queue and calling it a priority queue.

    MmmmmK.

    I make the necessary changes, and provide oral instructions to my counterpart: "In addition to: x.y.z.thequeue, we now have: x.y.z.thequeuepriority (lower case)".

    Time passes and I get a message: I need help; my program won't connect to your queue.

    After I verify the queue manager is running, I go look at his code and it looks fine. I look in his configurations and find: x.y.z.thequeueprioritylowercase

    He thought we would only be sending messages in lower case on the queue.

    This is someone who speaks English so fluently it's laughable, and who has been programming long enough that he should know better.

     

     



  • @pjt33 said:

    @ubersoldat said:
    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "
    Use a monospaced font for the arguments. And make sure not to put any punctuation immediately after it.
     

    Put it on a separate line, in a monospaced font. Bold is OK; italic just gets confusing. Red is nice.



  • @snoofle said:

    @Rick said:
    This sounds very much like an alcohol related incident.
    He was completely sober.
    But were you too?

     



  • @da Doctah said:

    @pjt33 said:

    @ubersoldat said:
    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "
    Use a monospaced font for the arguments. And make sure not to put any punctuation immediately after it.
    What advice do you have for the guy that you tell "Now type cmdultrafoo, no spaces" and he types command ultra foo no spaces?


    Go back to your own desk and send him the instructions by email.



  • @da Doctah said:

    @pjt33 said:
    @ubersoldat said:
    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "

    Use a monospaced font for the arguments. And make sure not to put any punctuation immediately after it.

    What advice do you have for the guy that you tell "Now type cmdultrafoo, no spaces" and he types command ultra foo no spaces?

    Is this like the interview thread and the guy with no legs? Because it's clear here that we're dealing with a blakeyrat level of direction following incompetence. The only solution is to start a flame war about a video game or give them a batch file that formats the hard drive.



  • @pjt33 said:

    @da Doctah said:

    @pjt33 said:

    @ubersoldat said:
    Man, how many times I had to write in some documentation "execute this with "argument" (without quotes) "
    Use a monospaced font for the arguments. And make sure not to put any punctuation immediately after it.
    What advice do you have for the guy that you tell "Now type cmdultrafoo, no spaces" and he types command ultra foo no spaces?


    Go back to your own desk and send him the instructions by email.

    Recently overheard in the office : "I need you to go to our website www.chipmunksrus c-h-i-p-m-u-n-k-s r u-s .com" (being spelt out). After 15 minutes and a couple of e-mails later, a remote connection is finally made to the customers screen. Need I say what website wasn't there... I'll say it anyway - www.chipmunksruschipmunksrus.com


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