Email from my boss



  • Hi Everyone,

    I need to give my boss a list of what you are working on. Everyone please send me a list of the tasks you are working on at this time.

    If you have nothing to do, please don't sit there waiting for me to give you some work; tell me.

    If I find out that you've been sitting there surfing the web, I will be very angry.

    Thanks,

    <Boss>

    --------------

    I'm just not sure what to make of this...

     



  • Tell your boss I'm reading your posts, but I'm not sure why he wants to know what I'm doing.



  • @snoofle said:

    If I find out that you've been sitting there surfing the web, I will be very angry.
    Maybe he's busted you for being on here and wanted to make it seem like he was just dropping a subtle hint to everyone.



  • Not gonna lie, at first I thought your boss, for whatever reason, wanted to know what we all were doing. I was actually about to respond and everything.

    Then my brain turned back on.



  • @curtmack said:

    Not gonna lie, at first I thought your boss, for whatever reason, wanted to know what we all were doing. I was actually about to respond and everything.

    Then my brain turned back on.

    Just for fun, on what are you actually working?



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Just for fun, on what are you actually working?

    He was trying to turn his brain on. It's got a bum starter, but it's one of the older pre-fuel injection models, so you might be able to just pour a bit of gas on the carb.



  • Maybe your boss is a TDWTF reader and just connected the dots.



  • @lethalronin27 said:

    Maybe your boss is a TDWTF reader and just connected the dots.
     

    If he sent everyone a slightly differently worded mail, then he could identify snoofle. Then again, if he reads TDWTF, he has to be at least partially sane, right? Like morbius en blakeyrat.



  • I AM GLAD PEOPLE HERE REALIZE I AM SANE here's a picture of disco cat monster:

    SO SANE SO SANE SO SANE SO SANE SO SAN



  •  @Speakerphone Dude said:

    @curtmack said:

    Not gonna lie, at first I thought your boss, for whatever reason, wanted to know what we all were doing. I was actually about to respond and everything.

    Then my brain turned back on.

    Just for fun, on what are you actually working?

     

    When I wrote that I was working on the time machine, but I got stuck on some regexes, so I took a break and moved on to calibrating the neural network that powers our Ultimate Death Ray Assault Robo Soldiers (pronounced "utter arse").

     



  • @OzPeter said:

    @snoofle said:
    If I find out that you've been sitting there surfing the web, I will be very angry.
    Maybe he's busted you for being on here and wanted to make it seem like he was just dropping a subtle hint to everyone.
    Not a chance; he's seen me writing up posts; sometimes he even tells me about stuff he encounters in meetings when I'm not there - he's all for making fun of fools.



  • @snoofle said:

    I'm just not sure what to make of this...
     

    Forward it to your boss with a comment of:

    "Boss? This bozo wants to know what I'm up to. Dunno why he didn't just come straight to you in the first place. Can you forward your authorative copy of my task list onto him? Thanks!"



  • @curtmack said:

     @Speakerphone Dude said:

    @curtmack said:

    Not gonna lie, at first I thought your boss, for whatever reason, wanted to know what we all were doing. I was actually about to respond and everything.

    Then my brain turned back on.

    Just for fun, on what are you actually working?

     

    When I wrote that I was working on the time machine, but I got stuck on some regexes, so I took a break and moved on to calibrating the neural network that powers our Ultimate Death Ray Assault Robo Soldiers (pronounced "utter arse").

     

    I knew it. You are writing VBA macros.



  •  Clearly your boss doesn't know what you're working on, which means he's failed the first rule of bossdom, and now he wants you to do the work to get him out of the trouble he's in with his boss.

    So your list should include exactly one item:

    • Making a list of tasks I'm working on because my clueless boss doesn't know what they are.

     

    Send it to your boss, as directed, but cc: his boss as well.



  • @snoofle said:

    I'm just not sure what to make of this...

    Fun?

    Though that does risk consequences.



  • @snoofle said:

    Everyone please send me a list of the tasks you are working on at this time.

    Being a good boss, he'd already know, right? So his boss can't be the actual reason he wants to know. I'd be uneasy.



  • @snoofle said:

    Hi Everyone,

    I need to give my boss a list of what you are working on. Everyone please send me a list of the tasks you are working on at this time.

    If you have nothing to do, please don't sit there waiting for me to give you some work; tell me.

    If I find out that you've been writing about our company on TheDailyWTF, you will be very sorry.

    Thanks,

    <Boss>

    FTFY.

     



  • @flabdablet said:

    Fun? consequences.

     

    I've just discovered another time vampire, you bastid.

    I hope you're pleased at how my productivity will dramatically drop whilst I compulsively read that blog.

    Yes, I'm blaming you. It's totally all your fault.

     



  • Don't blame me. I got it via the guy head office sent to do our IT audit.



  • @Cassidy said:

    Yes, I'm blaming you. It's totally all your fault.

     

    You should draw him a spider.



  • @flabdablet said:

    @snoofle said:

    I'm just not sure what to make of this...

    Fun?

    Though that does risk consequences.

    Haha wow, thats like a real life Dwight vs Jim (from The Office). Awesome!



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I AM GLAD PEOPLE HERE REALIZE I AM SANE here's a picture of disco cat monster:

    SO SANE SO SANE SO SANE SO SANE SO SAN

    Guildwars 2, my choice of time wasters at home right now.



  • Over my decades as a programmer, many times a superior has asked "What are you working on?" It may be my "boss", it may be the CEO of the company. I have learned to ALWAYS have several items ready as answers to that question. I say "I'm working primarily on A, and part-time on B, and waiting for an answer regarding C." Every item is of clear benefit to the company. He says "Good, carry on." and leaves me alone so I can go back to reading The Daily WTF

    Now I work from home through the internet. I make sure that "The Man With The Money" hears from me once in a while; a final release, a beta release, a status report of some kind.



  • @AndyCanfield said:

    Over my decades as a programmer, many times a superior has asked "What are you working on?" It may be my "boss", it may be the CEO of the company. I have learned to ALWAYS have several items ready as answers to that question. I say "I'm working primarily on A, and part-time on B, and waiting for an answer regarding C." Every item is of clear benefit to the company. He says "Good, carry on." and leaves me alone so I can go back to reading The Daily WTF

    Now I work from home through the internet. I make sure that "The Man With The Money" hears from me once in a while; a final release, a beta release, a status report of some kind.

    This is why God created burn down charts - as long as the line goes down everybody is happy, and one can inject a bit of drama by updating the estimated time left for a task, which creates a bump in the line. If a client/manager/PMO can be trained to use Agile, actuals disappear and one does not have to adapt its biorythm to a stupid project plan. This works well in real projects, less in maintenance/support mode.



  • @AndyCanfield said:

    many times a superior has asked "What are you working on?" It may be my "boss", it may be the CEO of the company. I have learned to ALWAYS have several items ready as answers to that question. I say "I'm working primarily on A, and part-time on B, and waiting for an answer regarding C."
     

    Similar idea in my earlier years, but I had those tasks pinned up to a board above my desk. It helped to focus me: I could prioritise the list and also identify another task to work up if the primary one was blocked for some reason, but meant if asked what I was working on, I could just point and continue working - giving the impression I wasn't allowing this task to become distracted by frivolous interruptions.

    In my sysadmin years, I had a whiteboard all to myself with which to list these tasks. Although the primary purpose was to help me in planning (I have a shit memory) and prioritising, it bought several fringe benefits:

    • superiors saw tasks being crossed off  (or blockers identified, so reasons why tasks had paused),
    • blockers saw that they were failing in their commitments,
    • people that rushed down with an URGENT and IMPORTANT task that MUST BE DONE NOW were requested to add it to the top of the list and choose which one could be crossed out to make way. Many times - after examining my list - they re-evaluated their priorities and decided someone else could do that URGENT task instead.
    Now I have no formal office at work, I still maintain a "2DO.TXT" file of "outstanding" things so I've got a list I can call upon when asked what my current projects are, and it's dead easy to copy that into any emails requesting details of my current activities. My home office has two whiteboards which I use to capture ideas and info, but that's more for my benefit than raising awareness to others.



  • @lethalronin27 said:

    @flabdablet said:

    @snoofle said:

    I'm just not sure what to make of this...

    Fun?

    Though that does risk consequences.

    Haha wow, thats like a real life Dwight vs Jim (from The Office). Awesome!

    I couldn't get through it all. I just couldn't take any more whining from the precious flower who thinks he's too good for time sheets.



  • @boomzilla said:

    I couldn't get through it all. I just couldn't take any more whining from the precious flower who thinks he's too good for time sheets.

    Oh yeah, the guy is definitely an asshole (the one writing the blog), but I still think it's hilarious.



  • @lethalronin27 said:

    @boomzilla said:
    I couldn't get through it all. I just couldn't take any more whining from the precious flower who thinks he's too good for time sheets.

    Oh yeah, the guy is definitely an asshole (the one writing the blog), but I still think it's hilarious.

    I guess if he had a hint of a legitimate gripe...



  • @lethalronin27 said:

    @flabdablet said:

    Fun? Though that does risk consequences.

    Haha wow, thats like a real life Dwight vs Jim (from The Office). Awesome!

     

    Aha. Okay.

     



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:
    Just for fun, on what are you actually working?
    He was trying to turn his brain on. It's got a bum starter, but it's one of the older pre-fuel injection models, so you might be able to just pour a bit of gas on the carb.
    I think he does that every night at the pub.


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