Synergising the expert clouds

  • Working in any business you have to deal with management types who like their buzzwords and jargon, working in IT we have a fair few technical terms and acronyms of our own to go on top of that. Recently though, I've started to notice this sort of thing pushing its way into avenues of life you wouldn't think needed or wanted any of that BS.

    I first saw it when I was living in London, they were building over the street from my flat and this van kept parking outside marked "Aperture Solutions". I hadn't got a clue what they were doing until one day I saw them unloading window units. It then dawned on me that they fit windows and doors, no sorry, they formulate solutions, for your apertures.

    When I started working at my current employer I noticed that the hand soap in the men's room proclaimed itself to be 'HD', shortly afterwards a family member purchased a new tumble dryer which also claimed to be 'HD'.

    It happened again recently when I returned home to find my mailbox stuffed with the usual bounty of broadband deals and pizza leaflets alongisde one for "Brickwork Solutions" which it turns out is a local builder.

    This could easily turn into a rant at this point but I'll just say it reminds me of this xkcd:

    You get to a point where the branding just gets confusing rather than attractive then suddenly simplicity itself becomes the best way to stand out from the crowd... like 'we buy any car'.

    I think "Aperture Solutions" should re brand to "We fit windows"

    What I really started this thread for was to ask, what is the best pointless word juggling re-brand you've seen? Would be nice to get a list going.

  • To be fair, the real Aperture Science started out as a manufacturer of shower-curtains.

  • Many years ago I was entertaining the idea of a new business which I was looking for a good catchy name for, just in case of the unlikely possibility it would become a household name. The business would be something similar to OpenTable where people could come in and make dining reservations and what not, but with a little spin. I discussed it with a friend who was trying to give me "cool" names:

    If he weren't 500 miles away, I would have socked him in the jaw. He didn't seem to, at all, get the concept of a concise name that people would easily identify, like Groupon, YouTube, or something that's less than 5 fucking syllables long.

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