Wooden table, CSI Miami edition




  • In CSI Miami, season 10, episode 4, the team is looking for a hitman that is trying to kill a mexican cop. Here is how they got one of their main leads:

    1. Take a picture of the burn pattern on the hand of the cop that grabbed the silencer of the hitman's gun during a failed attack
    2. From the "weird" pattern, determine that it is a home-made frequency shifting silencer (note to interested parties: this is the first scene for the new hot chick in the lab)
    3. Use a computer to make a diagram of the silencer based on its design and on the burn pattern
    4. Create a plastic prototype of the silencer using a laser 3D printer
    5. ...insert dramatic music before the climax...
    6. Take a bunch of binders on the bookshelf and compare the plastic prototype to the pictures in the binder (visually)

    I could have accepted a computer match done by rapidly comparing pictures on the screen, like most Hollywood finger print software. But "printing" the silencer and then looking it up manually in old picture binders is just unacceptable.

    There is a recurring character in this series that is some kind of civilian overseer for the crime lab unit; most of the time he will show up to cancel a search warrant or disable the Hummers whenever it is convenient for the plot. Now I think I'll have to send him a note about this suboptimal silencer-printing-and-picture-comparing process. SOMEONE HAS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

    Note: I know that bringing up a WTF from CSI Miami is like saying that something in the National Enquirer looks fake, but once in a while PHP needs a break.



  • Also:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

      ... determine that it is a home-made frequency shifting silencer ...

      ... compare the plastic prototype to the pictures in the binder (visually) ...

    If it was custom-made, why would they have a picture of it in their silencer book?

    @Speakerphone Dude said:



    In CSI Miami, ...

    Oh yeah. Right. Nevermind. I don't care.

     

     



  • You know, they could run their "rapidly comparing images" search so much quicker if they didn't blit every single one to the screen...



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    [...], but once in a while PHP needs a break.
    PHP is perfectly capable of being broken without our help.

     



  • @Gordonjcp said:

    You know, they could run their "rapidly comparing images" search so much quicker if they didn't blit every single one to the screen...

     

    But how would you check up on what the demon box is doing!

     



  • @Gordonjcp said:

    You know, they could run their "rapidly comparing images" search so much quicker if they didn't blit every single one to the screen...

    Maybe that's so that when the forensic lab's pointy-haired manager enters the room, he doesn't pull them into an hour-long meeting about how they shouldn't be standing around drinking coffee when everyone else is trying to catch murderers/paedophiles/terrorists/Carmen Sandiego.

     

     



  • Wait, did I miss something?  Someone actually caught Carmen Sandiego?

     



  • @KattMan said:

    Wait, did I miss something?  Someone actually caught Carmen Sandiego?

     

     

    They were close. They got a clue that someone overheard her talking about seeing the four stone presidents, but when the team got to Mt. Rushmore, they had just missed her. They did got told by a shopkeeper that she bought a winter jacket and was going to see the fjords.

     



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    They did got told by a shopkeeper that she bought a winter jacket and was going to see the fjords.
    I'm assuming that she was pining for them - but were these Northern or Southern hemisphere fjords?



  • @OzPeter said:

    I'm assuming that she was...

    B|

    pining for them

     

    FTFY



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @KattMan said:

    Wait, did I miss something?  Someone actually caught Carmen Sandiego?

     

     

    They were close. They got a clue that someone overheard her talking about seeing the four stone presidents, but when the team got to Mt. Rushmore, they had just missed her. They did got told by a shopkeeper that she bought a winter jacket and was going to see the fjords.

     

    TRWTF is that we took a 9-hour redeye flight, yet still decided to sleep for 8 hours after arriving at Mt. Rushmore. Sleep on the plane you stupid detectives!

    Sorry, still bitter after all these years.

     



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @KattMan said:

    Wait, did I miss something?  Someone actually caught Carmen Sandiego?

     

     

    They were close. They got a clue that someone overheard her talking about seeing the four stone presidents, but when the team got to Mt. Rushmore, they had just missed her. They did got told by a shopkeeper that she bought a winter jacket and was going to see the fjords.

     

    YOU FOOL Mt Rushmore is not in Miami so it's out of H's jurisdiction, they would have to call CSI Fargo or CSI Laramie, but those don't exist yet. Because they are federal I guess they could call Bones or Criminal Minds (now that the cute chick is back).

    Humm... sounds like I watch way too much high quality tv series. (what can I do, Chips or AirWolf reruns got old after a while)

    Edit: this is the cute chick I was talking about in Criminal Minds. I lost interest in the series when she left, but now she is back (or she was, last time I checked).

    cute


  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    @Lorne Kates said:
    @KattMan said:
    Wait, did I miss something?  Someone actually caught Carmen Sandiego?

     

     They were close. They got a clue that someone overheard her talking about seeing the four stone presidents, but when the team got to Mt. Rushmore, they had just missed her. They did got told by a shopkeeper that she bought a winter jacket and was going to see the fjords.
    YOU FOOL Mt Rushmore is not in Miami so it's out of H's jurisdiction, they would have to call CSI Fargo or CSI Laramie, but those don't exist yet. Because they are federal I guess they could call Bones or Criminal Minds (now that the cute chick is back).

    Humm... sounds like I watch way too much high quality tv series. (what can I do, Chips or AirWolf reruns got old after a while)

    Dont worry about jurisdiction, Carmen stole the state's border.



  • @Gordonjcp said:

    You know, they could run their "rapidly comparing images" search so much quicker if they didn't blit every single one to the screen...

     

     

    But then how would the computer be able to compare the images and draw those points? It must look at the images somewhere.

     

    If they want it to be fast, they just need a monitor with a highter refreshing rate.

     



  • @Mcoder said:

    @Gordonjcp said:

    You know, they could run their "rapidly comparing images" search so much quicker if they didn't blit every single one to the screen...

     

     

    But then how would the computer be able to compare the images and draw those points? It must look at the images somewhere.

     

    If they want it to be fast, they just need a monitor with a highter refreshing rate.

     

    Too bad they cancelled the series, otherwise it would have been justified to buy Macs with the retina display. And when people watching the series are asking where they get all the money for this stuff they can come up with a half-baked story about some rich dude donating the hardware, like they did with to explain the Hummers.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Chips or AirWolf reruns got old after a while

    Obvious troll is obvious



  • @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Chips or AirWolf reruns got old after a while

    Obvious troll is obvious

    Well, Chips. Yeah. But Airwolf? Never!



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Chips or AirWolf reruns got old after a while

    Obvious troll is obvious

    Well, Chips. Yeah. But Airwolf? Never!

    At least in Chips they had a garage where people were fueling and fixing bikes. In AirWolf the stolen chopper was parked in a cave with no maintenance equipment at all. It was also not clear where Stringfellow was getting the nukes and other exotic ammo. Could not have been provided by the CIA, they did not have enough budget to even buy a full pair of sunglasses to Archangel (see below)

    Airwolf


  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    In AirWolf the stolen chopper was parked in a cave with no maintenance equipment at all. It was also not clear where Stringfellow was getting the nukes and other exotic ammo.

    You are not up on your Airwolf-ology. Stringfellow Hawke was holding the chopper as ransom, because the Government (I forget which agency) refused to look for his brother who he believed was a P.O.W. They originally handed him Airwolf to complete a difficult mission because he was the best pilot available, but instead of returning it at the end of the mission he cut a deal which involved him keeping possession of the chopper, but still running missions using it as needed, on the condition that the Agency would look for his brother. Thus Airwolf was actually supplied with parts and ammunition by the Agency, and most missions Airwolf went on were also initiated by the Agency.

    That's why Archangel appears in the opening titles; he's usually giving Hawke a mission to complete.

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Could not have been provided by the CIA, they did not have enough budget to even buy a full pair of sunglasses to Archangel (see below)

    He was blind in that eye, you insensitive fuck.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:
    In AirWolf the stolen chopper was parked in a cave with no maintenance equipment at all. It was also not clear where Stringfellow was getting the nukes and other exotic ammo.

    You are not up on your Airwolf-ology. Stringfellow Hawke was holding the chopper as ransom, because the Government (I forget which agency) refused to look for his brother who he believed was a P.O.W. They originally handed him Airwolf to complete a difficult mission because he was the best pilot available, but instead of returning it at the end of the mission he cut a deal which involved him keeping possession of the chopper, but still running missions using it as needed, on the condition that the Agency would look for his brother. Thus Airwolf was actually supplied with parts and ammunition by the Agency, and most missions Airwolf went on were also initiated by the Agency.

    That's why Archangel appears in the opening titles; he's usually giving Hawke a mission to complete.

    I know the story. But IIRC it was agreed that he would do missions for the CIA but there was no mention of them providing ammo or maintenance; he was actually hiding the chopper location from Archangel himself (the CIA finally located the cave in season 4). I challenge you to come up with the episode number and exact quote where this supply deal is discussed.

    @blakeyrat said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:
    Could not have been provided by the CIA, they did not have enough budget to even buy a full pair of sunglasses to Archangel (see below)

    He was blind in that eye, you insensitive fuck.

    That's the CIA: penny wise, pound foolish. They provide their employee with only half a pair of sunglasses since he had only one good eye, but they let him travel all the time in a limo.


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