Not the response I was looking for.



  • My company uses the clusterfuck of an ecommerce payment processor that rhymes with Moneris eSelect Plus. After getting through all the omissions and mistakes in their documentation, we have a working epayment solution that's been chugging along for a couple years now.

    Until this month when we get not one, but two customers who make a payment, but it doesn't show up on the system. Long story short, their payment verification gateway was returning a 500 http error. I put in some logging and extra error handling, but I still wanted to know what could cause a major payment provider's gateway to return a 500?

    After nearly an hour of phone menu navigation and holding, I end up with an "IT" person, who assures me their servers cannot return a 500. If there was an error, they would return 467, or 246.

    Those, I mention, are transaction result codes (ie... Not authorized, declined, insufficient funds...)... Which would be part of the response... If the response ever returned, display which it didn't, because the SERVER returned a 500 http error.

    "yes, an error code, like 467, or 246..."

    This deer in a headlight conversation went on for another few minutes until I was asked if I wanted to speak with someone in technical support. (that's apparently different from IT).

    A half hour of on hold music convinced me I couldn't be fucked to deal with this. If it happens again, I now have some very verbose logs to present. Or it will just confuse them as to why I want to send them sprites from frogger.

    Sidenote:. This is the first time I have posted from a tablet. Motherfucking half hour. Who does any input on these things? Any typos or fucked formatting is its fault.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    This is the first time I have posted from a tablet. Motherfucking half hour. Who does any input on these things? Any typos or fucked formatting is its fault.

    Tablets are not designed to be used. They are designed to be shown at the coffee shop and make the people that are already there showing their Mac look like last year fad.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    their servers cannot return a 500

    Damn! I thought the WTF was even bigger by this assesment. Modified HTTP server with their own status codes anyone?

    @Lorne Kates said:

    This is the first time I have posted from a tablet. Motherfucking half
    hour. Who does any input on these things? Any typos or fucked
    formatting is its fault.

    It's not that bad... when you have a keyboard plugged to the damn thing.

     

     



  • @ubersoldat said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    their servers cannot return a 500

    Damn! I thought the WTF was even bigger by this assesment. Modified HTTP server with their own status codes anyone?

    That's not how I read it: Lorne was getting '500 Internal Server Error' statuses from the server, clueless IT 'help' desk presumed Lorne was getting '200 OK' replies with embedded application specific return codes, and 500 isn't among those codes.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    Motherfucking
     

    You appear to be going through a rage phase in your life.

    Fear not.

    It will pass and you will reach the zen at the end.



  • @dhromed said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    Motherfucking
     

    You appear to be going through a rage phase in your life.

    Fear not.

    It will pass and you will reach the zen at the end.

     

    Or end it all in a AK-47 psychotic breakdown with a police assisted suicide finish.

     



  • @PJH said:

    That's not how I read it: Lorne was getting '500 Internal Server Error' statuses from the server, clueless IT 'help' desk presumed Lorne was getting '200 OK' replies with embedded application specific return codes, and 500 isn't among those codes.
     

    Ditto - I read it as Lorne's supplier not understanding the difference between an error delivered by the server and an error delivered by their application codebase.

    I'm guessing he'll have to confirm, if he hasn't already been [ sacked | forum banned ] for "Motherfucking half
    hour....fucked
    formatting".



  • @ubersoldat said:

    Or end it all in a AK-47 psychotic breakdown with a police assisted suicide finish fest.
     

    FTFY. You've got to be passionate about software, remember?



  • @Cassidy said:

    Ditto - I read it as Lorne's supplier not understanding the difference between an error delivered by the server and an error delivered by their application codebase.
     

    Ding. Correct.

    "I tried to phone your office, but the phone line was disconnected."

    "Oh, you must have just dialed the wrong extension. What did the menu options say?"

    "{RAGE}"



  • @dhromed said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    Motherfucking
     

    You appear to be going through a rage phase in your life.

    Fear not.

    It will pass and you will reach the zen at the end.

     

    I will kick Buddah's nuts into the next life (where I will be waiting, reincarnated as a kicking mule, to kick them again).

     



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Tablets are not designed to be used. They are designed to be shown at the coffee shop and make the people that are already there showing their Mac look like last year fad.
     

    And Angry Birds.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Tablets are not designed to be used. They are designed to be shown at the coffee shop and make the people that are already there showing their Mac look like last year fad.
    Exactly. Since they are designed to make content creation difficult, but content consumption easy, I think of them as being portable televisions at best.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @ubersoldat said:

    @Lorne Kates said:
    This is the first time I have posted from a tablet. Motherfucking half
    hour. Who does any input on these things? Any typos or fucked
    formatting is its fault.

    It's not that bad... when you have a keyboard plugged to the damn thing.

    But then you have the equivalent of a laptop, but with a screen and keyboard that are too small.



  • @dhromed said:

    @Lorne Kates said:

    Motherfucking

    You appear to be going through a rage phase in your life.

    Fear not.

    It will pass and you will reach the zen at the end.

    Wait... it will pass?



  • @PedanticCurmudgeon said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:
    Tablets are not designed to be used. They are designed to be shown at the coffee shop and make the people that are already there showing their Mac look like last year fad.
    Exactly. Since they are designed to make content creation difficult, but content consumption easy, I think of them as being portable televisions at best.

    Obligatory satirical image that many have already seen (so is obviously for the benefit of those that haven't):

    On a side note.. if I was looking at getting a Tablet for simple surfing, watching some streaming content and controlling XBMC what should I look out for (or not)? I'm aware of the iPad and Galaxy, but I'm sure there's clones out there that will do the trick more cost-effectively.

    (I'd probably swing the Android way and not favour iOS, given the choice)



  • That image needs to be jpeg compressed a few dozen more times before it'll have any impact on me.

    Also Picard wasn't even born until like 2310, so how did his pad come first? Lame image.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @dhromed said:

    You appear to be going through a rage phase in your life.

    Fear not.

    It will pass and you will reach the zen at the end.

    Wait... it will pass?

     

    Yes, and you should not fear it. For death is nothing to us.



  • @TGV said:

    Yes, and you should not fear it. For death is nothing to us.

    Don’t let that scare you.

    Let that free you.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    That image needs to be jpeg compressed a few dozen more times before it'll have any impact on me.
     

    And GIF'd also at random points.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Tablets are not designed to be used. They are designed to be shown at the coffee shop and make the people that are already there showing their Mac look like last year fad.
    You do know the quickest and easiest way to find out if someone has an iPad, right? You wait until he starts talking about it.



  • We have an iPad at work and—ah shoot.



  • @Anonymouse said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:
    Tablets are not designed to be used. They are designed to be shown at the coffee shop and make the people that are already there showing their Mac look like last year fad.
    You do know the quickest and easiest way to find out if someone has an iPad, right? You wait until he starts talking about it.

    Good one! It's a remake of the old joke about engineers (how do you find who is an engineer in a crowded room? he will tell you himself)



  • @Cassidy said:

    On a side note.. if I was looking at getting a Tablet for simple surfing, watching some streaming content and controlling XBMC what should I look out for (or not)? I'm aware of the iPad and Galaxy, but I'm sure there's clones out there that will do the trick more cost-effectively.
     

    Whichever is easier to root. Because at some point, you won't be able to do whatever you want to, and will need to installed 3rd party software.

    The playbook is a nice piece of hardware, but the web browser is a horrible piece of shit.  It doesn't have an adblocker, and so it is nearly impossible to actually browse on it.  Putting aside any philosocial discussion of blocking ads, the fact remains that any page you hit on a small screen will be 90% cluttered with flashing, spinning ads. Those ads cause the system to stutter, and thus mis-recognize user input. You will try to scroll (by swiping your finger across the screen), which, because of the stuttering, will be interpreted as a click-- on the motherfucking ad. Your browser will then freeze up for another long amount of time while fuck knows how many affiliate and tracking pieces of script fire-- followed by a new tab opening up with fifteen redirects which dumps you on a spam site that is-- you guessed it-- full of CPU choking ads.

     This may just be my experience, but until I can get Firefox Portable with NoScript and AdBlock on the playbook, it is 100% useless for browsing. About all I can do is check my mail on Gmail and Hotmail's portable sites, and reading TDWTF works fine.  Except for when the tagcloud crashes the browser.


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